


Freier Fall: A long way to go...

by Rytchan



Series: Freier Fall - Lovers [1]
Category: Freier Fall | Free Fall (2013), Marc & Kay
Genre: Angst, Big Gay Love Story, Drama, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fanfic, Free Fall Movie, Gay Love, Germany, Hanno Koffler, Heavy Angst, Hot, Lemon, Love, Love Story, Lust, M/M, Max Riemelt, Pain, Passion, Romance, Sadness, Sequel, Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Stephan Lacant, WAFF, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, freier fall movie, hopeful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:28:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 77
Words: 109,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rytchan/pseuds/Rytchan
Summary: Fifteen months have passed, and Marc has been desperately looking for Kay since he accepted his real feelings. It will be a long way to find him and a lot of situations to surpass each other if they want to be together. Will it be too late?





	1. Vestiges

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a huge fan of this movie. Since I watched it, I fell in love with the characters. I love the passion between Marc and Kay, and the love that they demonstrate for each other.  
> The end of the original story is heartbreaking and I do believe that both of them deserve a better end.  
> That's why I decided to write this story and share with all of you guys! People who believe in true love, no matter what.  
> I really hope all of you enjoy it.  
> I can't wait for the sequel in 2018!  
> Ps. I'm not an English speaker, any mistakes you find, are my own. I apologize for it.

**1: Vestiges**

**Marc**

It had been 13 months since the last time he saw him. **He recalled the scene in that small apartment in _Düsseldorf_ where Kay was waiting for him.**

He gave back the key and it clinked on the cold cement of the balcony, while he saw Kay´s disappointment when he abandoned him, he didn´t care despite the fact he was beaten almost to death; Because of the fear to recognize his true feelings ... He looked at his perfect profile one last time and turned around and left without looking back.

It didn´t matter that two days later he regretted and returned to knock down the door without getting an answer and then, to find a space without a soul, empty as he felt. Finally, he knew how he felt to love.

In spite of the time, the memories crowded his mind and the sensations filled him as if it happened yesterday. “Maybe I shouldn´t be here, maybe I will never find anyone who can heal the wounds he left”-thought Marc-, while he let himself be carried out using the body of the blonde girl that he had met in the pub a couple of hours before – who was the one he used to visit when nothing felt right-.

He was thinking of Kay ... he missed his piercing gaze, the blue eyes that haunt him in dreams when they both were lost and found themselves enjoying each other. His memories and reality intertwined simultaneously. While, now in the present, he was thrusting frenziedly inside her until he emptied himself completely.

He didn´t have him, and perhaps he would never see him again in spite of the vain attempts to find him. It seemed that the earth had swallowed him; all the state-of-the-art technology to which he had access as a narcotics agent, was of no use.

"How could he have been such a coward?" "How could he have been so blind and unwilling to realize the irremediable reality?" He missed him and imagined him in the countless bodies with which he had found consolation over the months. In the end, it was all he had left. Play to feel, to live.

The emptiness and the boredom became old acquaintances, leaving him with the sensation of wasting the best moments of his life.

While all this was crossing his mind, he got dressed like an automaton and took one last hit of marijuana throwing the rest into the semi-empty _Spaten_ and left the motel room not without kissing first the right temple of that one girl, whose name he had already forgotten.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DTYC02ZtPk>


	2. Spiral

**2: Spiral**

**Marc.**

**They ran in the woods side by side, "breathe evenly," Kay said as they continued to trot and laugh. Suddenly, Kay began to accelerate and step forward drastically; No matter how hard he strove to catch up, he kept drifting farther and farther. He began to sob and there were his own cries calling him, which awoke him from that dream that tended to become recurrent.**

Marc sat on the bed among the scattered sheets and the unmistakable smell of a night of excesses. His forehead was pearly in sweat and a familiar head-hammering, derived from the hangover the night before.

In recent weeks this was becoming customary, "he mentally cursed," at first the only thing that kept him afloat was his little one, but today he was far away since Betinna had decided to put distance between them. "It will only be for a while." -she had said-.

She still could not overcome what Marc had done to them. And frankly, he did not believe that someday she would since even he had not been able to understand it at the time.

He only knew that he was something stronger than himself and despite having fought against it at first, had irremediably yielded to the sensations and feelings that Kay awakened to him. He opened the drawer and pulled out the bottle of Tylenol, took out two pills, and swallowed them.

In the shower, tears mingled with the warm water coming from the shower. He stepped out of the tub and, shaving, could not recognize the man who was reflected in the mirror. He was good-looking, straight nose, green eyes, and strong chin. However, dark circles were already making a dent in his attractive face.

He dressed in his police uniform, got into the car, and only for an instant was Officer Marc Borgmann, the one who worked extra shifts to try to distract himself from his pathetic life that he already hated.

Three weeks later, while on duty on a 24/24 shift, he received a notification informing him of the supervisor's decision to move to Munich due to a peculiar case, as an undercover agent to find the strategist of a band of Turkish drug traffickers.

**"I have nothing to keep me here," he thought. So he went back to his apartment and began to pack the few things he had brought with him from his previous life.**


	3. Quietude

**3: Quietude**

**Jörg.**

Officer Kay Engel, an anti-riot agent, lay unconscious in the ATOS Klinik München hospital bed. It was a week since he was in intensive therapy derived from the attack of a group of fans during a Bayern game at the Allianz Arena.

Despite all those wires and monitors connected around him, his breathing was uniform and his countenance was calm.

Even with the right side of the temple inflamed and in a range of colors ranging from the intense violet to the greenish-yellow was damn attractive.

 **In front of him was Jörg, a 1.85 centimeters, DJ with dark hair and emerald eyes, who played on weekends at Goodstuff and was currently dating with Kay. He saw Kay and gave him the impression that he was in a deep sleep and did not want to wake up from it.**  


He had only a few minutes a day to get to see him, but despite the treatment and medical care he still did not wake up.

Sitting in the armchair of that hospital room, he got the mixed smell of disinfectant, iodine and other elements he could not identify. Even listening to the rhythmic sound of the monitor, it was hard to believe that it came from Kay's vital signs. "Scheiße!" He cursed.

As he watched, he remembered the first time he saw him. It was during a concert on the esplanade of Olympiapark; there was an extensive poster of DJs performing that night.

As he made his way to the stage, making his way through the crowd, he collided with him. He was a young, blond, tall man with almost perfect features. With a beer in his hand, whistling and dancing as if in trance, he watched him enjoying the music. He turned and their eyes met. He had the most intense blue eyes he had ever seen. He smiled at him, raised its beer in greeting, and continued dancing.

Jörg took the stage and began his performance. He loved his lifestyle with great intensity. He was convinced of being a free soul, without prejudice or bondage. Therefore, he would never imagine that during the following months he and that stranger would become inseparable.


	4. Ghost

**4: Ghost**

  
**Kay. Three months ago…**

   
At the end of the concert, Kay took his car and drove to " _Sinners_ _Party_ ", a gay bar that was generally frequented by tourists rather than locals. The place was quite spacious, with good facilities, the atmosphere was superb and the music of the best, with rhythms ranging from house to pop and electronic.

  
It had been a rather heavy day: a grueling morning fitness and paperwork and more paperwork in the afternoon. Thank goodness that tomorrow was his day off. He consoled himself. Because today he especially needed to get out.

  
That night was exactly one year since Marc left. He decided then to try to get it out of his mind and have fun as he had for months did not.

  
He parked two blocks away and walked to the entrance. While he was giving the last smokes to the cigar, **he saw the DJ with whom he had stumbled a few hours ago. He recognized how attractive he was but let that thought pass.**  


With more force than necessary, he extinguished the cigarette against the ashtray and continued on his way inland. Inside was bursting. Sweaty bodies moving rhythmically crammed the dance floor, so he decided to head straight to the bar. There he asked for a _Spaten_ \- Marc's favorite beer - and silently offered what couldn’t be ... "12 months", he thought, "and I still can not get you out of my mind." He grimaced and drank all the content. He asked for one more.

  
He was already in the third when one of the songs he used to dance with Marc began to play. The rhythm was contagious, fast and painful by the memories that generated it. But as much as he wanted to push him away from his mind, it seemed that fate was bent on playing tricks on him.

  
He left the bottle half-finished and entered the dance floor. He abandoned himself in the sensations. With his closed eyes, he began to dance, imagining him in front of Marc, dancing and clapping his hands over his head as they used to. Suddenly, he felt a touch on the tips of his fingers and opened his eyes ... He wasn't Marc who was in front of him.

  
"You dance well," he said. It was the DJ just a few hours ago he had seen. "It seems that fate wants us to know each other," he shouted at the top of the music, "I'll buy you a drink," he said in his ear, showing a confident smile.

  
Kay nodded, smiling back, and together they headed for the bar. There they asked for a scotch and began to talk. "I am Jörg." "Kay," he replied, as they smashed their glasses and began to drink. " _Prost_!" They both grinned.

  
Past 3 am and after several drinks, they left the place. Jörg invited him to his study and he accepted. Kay knew he didn't want to go home alone, especially that night.

  
**"I want to forget him, I really want to". Banish him from his thoughts; Because that emptiness in his chest caused him physical pain. It was clear that he would never see him again, or be together again. So he would make an effort to get him out of his mind once and for all and if it was possible also from his heart. Thinking about it, he staggered after Jörg.**

Twenty minutes later, after taking the freeway they arrived at  _Planneg_ , a residential area west of _Munich_. As soon as they entered into the floor, Jörg cornered him with both hands against the wall and approached only a few inches from his mouth. Kay could feel how fast his pulse beat, his warm breath inviting him to close the space between them. It was a slow and deep kiss at first, but little by little it was increasing in intensity. He closed his eyes and began to feel. Everything was perfect, pleasurable sensations ran through his body and in only an instant he forgot Jörg. His subconscious kept playing with him. In his mind, Marc appeared and then it was he whom he kissed, the one he caressed and whom he gave himself to.

  
Kay took him by the neck and kissed him back, abandoning himself to those sensations. Kay ripped off Jörg’s shirt, and the buttons flashed in all directions. At the same time, Jörg unzipped Kay’s belt and took him to the couch and began to stimulate his cock with the mouth.  
Kay enjoyed it, his eyes closed and he imagined Marc. With that thought, he took him to the bedroom. There, Kay used the condom and penetrated him.  He began to move quickly until after several thrusts they both ran. They lay down exhausted on the carpet of the room when little by little the dream overcame them.

  
In the early hours of the next morning, Kay woke up disoriented and with a strong migraine. " _Scheiße_! Where am I? "He asked himself, and like a blast, the memories of the night before arrived.


	5. Unknown

**5: Unknown**

**Kay.**

He didn´t notice when he moved from the carpet to the bed. But there he was, on a soft mattress and asleep on his side, it was that stranger. He had a broad, shapely back, with a shark tattoo that covered a large part of his right arm, his muscles well defined; His face on his side was almost perfect, except for the scar that pierced his cheek. "Even," Kay admitted, "it makes him look more attractive.

He remembered his name: Jörg. He also remembered that he was fun and he was definitely sure that they had had a good time the night before. However, like other times, he decided it was time to leave. He didn´t feel like having an uncomfortable chat at this time of the morning.

Carefully not to wake him up, he jumped out of bed and started looking for his clothes. His wrinkled shirt was lying at the foot of the bed, and down the hallway, he could follow the trail of his belongings.

He was buckling his military boots when he heard a deep voice behind him.

**"Are you leaving without saying goodbye?" - Jörg inquired-**

  
**Kay turned and saw him stands in the doorway of the bedroom. He could see the growth of his beard, in daylight he was much more attractive, -he admitted-.**

"Quiet man, I'm not one of those guys who walk through life looking for a relationship”.  “We had a good time, we fucked and that's it ", Jörg said. “If we meet again and things happen ... well, but if not, nothing happens." -Declared-.

"It's not that," Kay replied with a half-smile, "it's just that I have to go ... But I had a good time too," he finally admitted.

An hour later after having a coffee and chatting, they said goodbye and Kay went home.

One night, Kay and his team were clubbing in a bar near the police station celebrating the bachelor party of one of the squad members. While toasting and joking, his cell phone rang. It was Jörg. He was inviting him to a presentation that he´d give in _Milch und Bar._

This was how they gradually began to get closer and maintaining a very peculiar relationship. Even though they weren´t a couple, they had occasional sex, but mostly they started to trust each other. Each time, they spent more time together. It was a mixture of camaraderie and mutual attraction, with no established rules or ties.

**Despite all these good things he was living, didn´t even remotely approach what he felt during the time he was with Marc. -He recognized with infinite nostalgia-.**

****


	6. Rebuilding

**6: Rebuilding**

  
**Marc: In the present ...**

  
The Boeing 747 landed near midnight at Terminal 1 at Munich International Airport, in the middle of an unusual storm to be mid-August. The smooth flight that the crew captain had predicted before takeoff ended with a crash landing due to the landing gear jam. Between hysterical screams of some people and a couple of stewardesses trying to reassure them, Marc got out of the plane in a hurry to the band 13 where he would pick up his luggage.

  
Immersed in his thoughts, he picked up his suitcase and headed for the exit. He lit a cigarette, gave it a couple of puffs, and threw it to the wet floor; He drove to the S-Bahn in the direction of Starnberg, as he still had a long way home.

  
**"Home," he thought. Of the options he had to rent, he had chosen the furthest from the big city. He decided he would not mind having to travel about half an hour every day to get to work. It was a furnished apartment on the sixth floor overlooking Starnberg See, surrounded by forest and with a magnificent view of the lake. At least during the days of rest, he could isolate himself from everything and go jogging into the woods.**

  
Already on the train, he chose a seat as far removed from a group of young people who laughed too loud laughs passing between them a bottle of scotch. It was very common to see these types of groups and more on a Friday night to go out partying. There were about six men between the ages of 20 and 25. But what caught his attention and made him flip again, was a look of complicity and a fleeting kiss he detected between two of them.

  
He got out of the train and walked, ten minutes later, arrived at the building where his new apartment was located, decided to climb the six floors up the stairs at a brisk pace in the hope of finishing tired enough to fall asleep and without needing to take an anxiolytic.

  
He opened the door and turned the lights on, illuminated his new apartment and he noticed a few of furniture that adorned the place. Because of this, the place looked more spacious than it actually was, since it has not more than ninety square meters. He would have a week before he came to his new job, to buy what was necessary, he thought, as he headed for the bedroom.

  
That night, unlike many others, he was able to rest. He dreamed of him, but this time, it was a hopeful dream.


	7. Collision

**7: Collision**

  
**Kay: Two weeks ago ...**

  
They were gathered inside the main building finishing the details to cover the game tonight. In a match, Bayern vs. Borussia Dortmund needed to be careful, since on some occasions the moods between the fans of both rival groups warmed.

  
They arrived three hours before the start of the game. As they descended from the patrol, Kay organized his men to guard the west side of the stadium. The game went without major setbacks, so some of the police officers took advantage to see some players from the entrance of the tunnels and even joked between them.

  
What initially began as a harmless fight between two drunken fans, ended in a pitched fight. Immediately, Kay and five of his men went to the place. As they tried to contain them and waited for reinforcements, bottles and various projectiles were flying in different directions.

  
Kay covered the right flank with the shield, while with the stick tried to break through the furious crowd. He heard a scream and realized that Alexander, one of his colleagues, was bleeding profusely from the forearm. A couple of meters away, another member of the squad -which he could not distinguish-tried to subdue a pseudo-fan who held a knife.

  
It was at that moment when he was struck from behind and Kay fell down stairs. While trying to get up, one of the attackers caught up with him and kicked him in the face.

  
The last thing Kay saw, it was a boot coming up to his head, felt the impact and then darkness

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)


	8. Shaking

**8: Shaking**

  
**Marc**

  
He showed up very early in the research unit to meet his new team and meet with the division director. Throughout the morning he was in meetings with colleagues from different areas to catch up.

  
The counternarcotics division was in the same building as the riot control unit. "Fate seems to be making fun of me," he thought.

  
As he walked to the next boardroom, he passed the teaching classrooms and his mind came up with images of the former Police Academy, where what he lived with Kay was a watershed in his life and meant rethinking everything he believed to be true until then. For many months he wondered if he was really gay or maybe bisexual. He had never been attracted to men before. Even after his breakup, no one else caught his attention. Once, at the gay bar he used to hang out with Kay, he tried to console himself with some guy but he did not succeed. Just remembering the feeling of kissing or touching another man made him indifferent and such a vacuum that he could not deal with. He really did not feel any attraction to either of them. All he knew for sure was that he had fallen in love with "that person," no matter if was either a man or a woman; what really mattered were the emotions and sensations that he lived when he was with him. He could be himself.

  
Bittersweet memories of his old life hit him with a thud in his chest. It was unbelievable that would have happened just fifteen months ago since they seemed like an eternity to him.

  
On leaving his last meeting he went to the dining room, held his tray and took his place in line. As it was still early, the cafeteria was practically empty, so he chose the first table he found and sat down to eat. As he thought about how the morning had developed, a pair of officers approached and asked if they could be accompanied by him.

  
"Welcome," they said. The first was a young redhead of medium stature with a tic in the left eye. The second, robust and would seem such a good person. They were almost finished eating when the latter commented to his colleague:  
"Finishing the shift, I'll go to the hospital to see Kay. It's been two weeks since the aggression and he still does not wake up. " Hearing that name, Marc felt as if an electric shock ran through his body. "Calm down," he forced himself, "it's a coincidence that someone in the new apartment is named as the man who changed you completely."

  
"What happened two weeks ago?" Marc asked.

  
"One of us suffered an aggression by a fan during the Bayern game, and unfortunately he is in a coma. He's a great guy and we're all very worried about him. " Answered the red-haired boy.  
"What was his name?" Marc asked.

  
"Kay ... Kay Engel." At that moment he felt the earth would open and with it, he slipped into a deep, dark abyss.  
As in slow motion he saw the film of his life 15 months ago: His roommate, a fight during training, both in the principal's office, smoking marijuana and swimming in the pool at night, the first touch of lips, their first encounter, those nights of debauchery and tenderness at the same time, music and a bath in a bar, love and heartbreak, fear and finally, anguish and an infinite solitude.

  
**"Are you okay?" They asked. "You were shocked." One of them said.**

  
"What hospital do you say he is in?" He asked, like a possessed man. "I know him, we're good friends," he lied.

  
As he mentally took note of the address, he left the tray with the rest of the food and the two officers looking surprised. He got up and ran to the exit.


	9. Encounters

**9\. Encounters**

**Marc.**

With a nervous pace, he headed for the hospital entrance. Too many emotions were contained. It seemed that a hole in the chest was opening more and more and made breathing difficult. Cold sweat ran down his spine, making him sweat copiously.

He had mixed feelings. On the one hand, after so many months of searching, he had news of him. But on the other, he could not even imagine him lying in a hospital bed.

He came to the front desk and asked for him. There he was informed that Kay was in intensive care and there were no visiting hours. In addition, he would have to ask for a special permission if he wanted to see him since he was not his relative. He decided to wait. He did not know how long he would have to be there, but all he was sure of was that he would not move until he saw him.

Many hours later, while he was sitting in the waiting room, the nurse who initially received him approached. Marc had, in the meantime, gone to speak with the hospital director to let him see "his friend."

"Official Borgmann: You can see him; officer Engel was transferred to intermediate therapy since the dangerous condition has passed; however, he does not respond to the stimuli and remains in a coma. Fifth floor, room 517. You can only stay there for a few minutes. “She explained.

As he listened to her, his heart began to beat a thousand and felt sick. He walked through the elevator and dialed number five. As he climbed, his mind was chaos.

He opened the door of the room and between wires and monitors, he saw Kay. There was the man who turned his world over.

As it often did, his mind traveled in time with incredible ease to the day he had known him. Nothing had changed. He was still as virile and handsome as he remembered. The beard of days made him look even better. Except for the mark of the attack he had suffered, it seemed that he was in deep sleep.

He sat down on the chair beside the bed and timidly touched his hand. He bent his head and gave him a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth. It had barely been a slight touch of his lips against that skin, but it had been enough to make him tremble. Stitches in the pit of his stomach touched him as he felt it.

"Kay! What happened to you? -Sob-. You do not know how many nights I've dreamed of this moment, seeing you, but not under these circumstances ... I've been in absolute despair to find you, to tell you how sorry I am. How I regret having been so cowardly and not accepting reality. _"Ich Liebe Dich,"_ he whispered in his ear.

After that confession, he began to cry. He covered his face with both hands, his body convulsing with tears. "Wake up please" ... _"Scheiße!"_ He murmured.

At that moment the door opened. A man with dark hair and eyes of the same color as his own looked at him suspiciously.  He had a scar crossing his cheek.  Marc, with one hand, wiped his nose and tried to wipe the tears that bathed his face. He got up.

Standing in front of that stranger, he noticed that they were almost of the same height. He looked away.

**"They told me at the front desk that Kay had a visitor," Jörg said. "I thought it was someone from his unit, but I do not think so, right?" He asked, staring at him.**

**Marc did not know what to answer. As he watched, Jörg pointed out: "In view of the situation, I think we should introduce ourselves properly." "My name is Jörg and I'm Kay's boyfriend.**

Marc swallowed hard. He began to feel a totally different feeling from what he felt a moment ago; something immediate, deep and painful. He felt the blood begin to run down his face and he flushed due to unfamiliar feeling. He did not know what to say, so without a word, he left the room.


	10. Desolation

**10: Desolation**

**Marc**

Almost an hour later he arrived at his apartment after leaving the hospital. The words of that guy kept repeating in his head over and over again: "... My name is Jörg and I'm Kay's boyfriend..."

"What he was expecting?"

After so many months that he took it out of his life, Kay would welcome him with open arms? Or even more, that he would remain celibate?" 

 Marc reproached himself as he looked into the mirror. As he did so, he watched his pulse beat at the base of his throat. A man like Kay would hardly do it, but have a stable relationship, it was very different. _"Scheiße!"_

How dreamer he had been. During all the times that he imagined him and dreamed him, never in all that time, it came across into his mind that Kay would turn over the page and rebuild his life.

From his mouth came a bitter laugh, he had been the only one far from getting over him, every day had sunk more and more in the obsession to find him.  He opened up the tap, washed his face, and rinsed his mouth. Slowly he went to the master bedroom and lay on his back on the bed.

 He did not know how long remained looking at the ceiling with his mind spinning until he felt a tingling in the legs that forced him to change his posture. He did not sleep all night.

Sunlight began to seep through the curtains, so he chose to get up and get ready to go to work. Leaving his feelings in a second term, it was clear that the most important thing now was Kay's prompt recovery.  "Because he had to wake up, he had to..." -Marc implored-.

With that thought guiding him, he turned to the unit.  There, thanks to one of his subordinates, he was able to know more about the attack occurred two weeks ago.

He also had an opportunity to delve deeper into Kay's life in Munich and realize that he had good colleagues who appreciated him and were appalled by what had happened. It seemed that everyone knew about his sexual preferences, nevertheless, nobody here bothered because of that.

Marc was counting the hours to finish the day and go to the hospital when suddenly the head of division came to his office to inform him that they had intercepted a cell of the criminal group they were looking for. So they had must to travel to _Hamburg_ immediately to continue the research.


	11. Meeting again

**11: Meeting again**

**Marc**

He pressed the fifth floor and waited for the elevator doors to open. He hoped not see that guy, but the necessity to ask about Kay and take care of him was stronger than anything else. He owed it to him, and he craved it. After so many months searching for him now that he had found him, he was not going to give up.

Doubtful, he opened the door but only to find the empty bed.

It had been seven days since he had seen him since the trip to Hamburg had lasted much longer than planned. During that time he could not concentrate properly, even on more than one occasion he was surprised by daydreaming. He exited the room and headed to the nurses' control center to find out about him.

Three days before, he had awakened without apparent sequelae, -the chief of nurses told him-. “Officer Engel was under observation for two more days after that, and today he has been discharged."

Marc left the hospital at a steady pace to go to the unit and investigate his address since at the hospital they refused to give it to him. At six o'clock he closed his locker and went to _Unterhaching._

It was dark when Marc got off the _S-Bahn_ and started walking down the stairs with a clear target in mind. He needed to see him and know he was fine, but most of all he needed to talk to him.

After walking for a few minutes he reached the house marked with 386 number. His hands sweated and he felt the mouth dry like a paper. A few meters before he arrived, Marc suddenly stopped his pace and sheltered behind a tree due to the front door was opened and Kay emerged from it.

Dressed in sports pants and a hooded jacket, Kay held the door. At first glance, he seemed recovered. Suddenly, behind him, the guy with whom he had met into the hospital came out.

In the distance, he watched them chatting for a few minutes and then that man hugged him. It was an affectionate hug. Kay hugged him back and kissed him. The guy turned around, got into a BMW M2 Coupé and left.

It was a simple touching of lips; more a caress accomplice than a sexual tint, but nothing prepared him for what he would feel when he saw them. It was like being hit in the stomach and running out of the air; it was difficult for him to breathe normally.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

After a few minutes, he recovered himself, he went to the door and without much thought, he rang the doorbell.

Almost immediately he heard Kay say from the inside: "What did you forget? - While opening the door. Kay's face said it all. It was clear that he never expected to see him standing outside his door.

Apparently, Jörg had not told him about their previous encounter.


	12. Denial

**12: Denial**

**Kay / Marc**

Kay couldn't look away from Marc. There he was. As manly and masculine as he remembered. He couldn't believe he was standing there in front of him. He felt as if his blood boiled and a wounding desire took hold of him. His breathing was out of control. His pulse hammered hard as Marc watched.

The stifling silence was painful. It was an overwhelming feeling that imprisoned them; An invisible loop that closed over them and from which Kay could not escape. However, he managed to control himself and closed his armor.

"What are you doing here?" He snapped in a hostile tone.

"Kay ..." It was all Marc could say. He was silent and looked down.

As the emptiness in his chest grew larger, Kay remained silent without taking his eyes off him. Mixed feelings burned him. He had a huge desire to shake him and stay that way for a long time. Recover all the lost time, but on the other hand, remembered how selfish and cowardly he had been at that time.

Marc, in turn, felt his heart go out of his chest. His gaze pierced his soul, it was intense but no matter how much he tried, he could not find that spark that had consumed him a long time ago. There was nothing left of the love that at one moment reflected in his eyes, in its place, he could only see anger and rancor. He felt desperate.

"Kay ..." he murmured hesitantly, "can I come in?" "I need to talk to you ... please."

Kay, without a word, turned away from the door and waved a hand showing the way inside.  Marc looked around. It was a big and cozy house. "Too big for one person," he thought, as a pang of jealousy trickled inside him.

"I'm glad you're recovered," he stammered. "I've been looking for you almost since you left without success. More than twice I managed to find your whereabouts but it was too late since you had left again". 

"A few weeks ago I was transferred to Munich and that's when I heard about you”. 

“That you are part of the riot control unit and that you were badly wounded in the hospital. I went to see you there and I took you by the hand", -while he said it, hesitatingly reached his hand and his fingers rubbed him-, “and I asked your pardon for how coward I was”.  -He went on -. “For being so stupid and not accepting that I vibrate with you and that I can really be me”.   -As he spoke his voice cracked into the silence-.

Kay listened and felt his soul split in two. So many nights of insomnia, so often dreaming of this moment and could not believe that he had it standing before his eyes ... "He had gone to the hospital to see him..." - He had said-.

He began to feel dizzy, either by the commotion of seeing him or by his new convalescence; so he leaned against the door frame.  At that moment, Marc came up and took him in his arms and as if life were in it, hugged him tightly. Kay didn't turn it down. They stayed like this, for a few minutes, but neither of them seemed to want to break that moment.

Gradually Marc began to feel the bulge in his groin grow from the contact of Kay´s firm torso pressed against him, and his thighs pressed together.  He felt his dry mouth and that familiar sensation that made him vibrate again in the depths of his being. At that moment he felt him too...  Kay also reacted to him. That carnal desire was still intact, it was undeniable. A groan escaped his throat.

Kay knew then that nothing had changed, those fifteen months separated seemed never have passed; feelings remained intact in him. He admitted dejectedly. The rubbing of their bodies continued to provoke the same sensations or more intense even if that was possible.

Their foreheads touched and then Marc could not resist. Staring at him, he brought his lips to him clumsily and began to kiss him. Timidly at first and with an unreasonable urgency a few seconds later; he put his tongue into his mouth and began to move it inside him. Kay answered the kiss with the same fervor, while moans of both confused each other. The rubbing of their bulging limbs against each other over their clothes gave them the most pleasurable and painful sensations they had not remembered in a long time.

Then Marc's hands slipped into Kay's underpants and molded to the firmness and thickness of his cock as he delighted in caressing it slowly. Stifling heat swept through his feverish body focused on what he felt.

Kay understood that he was going to make love to him because he could feel him in the way Marc was touching him ... "Make love to him or fucked him?" He forced to question himself.  Because Kay still loved him. He could stop it or he could let things run their course and accept what his body was begging for ... It was his choice.

He took a violent breath as Marc separated only for a moment, to look deeply into his eyes, asking permission to continue. With hunger, he kissed him again. It was a primary, elemental and passionate need.

As Kay corresponded harshly to his kiss, the image of Betinna suddenly appeared into his mind and with it, all the bitter memories he had lived since Marc left him. Slowly, taking stock of his willpower, Kay pulled away from him.

With a choked breath he said, **_"No."_** He wouldn't let hurt him again.


	13. Conviction

13: Conviction

Marc.

After saying that syllable and without saying more words, Kay opened the door and asked him to leave. He didn´t let him say anything more.

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Back in the _S-Bahn_ , Marc recalled the scene in his head again and again. He could still feel Kay's warm breath against his mouth, his breathing ragged, his pupils dilated with excitement.

As these images danced in his mind, he began to feel the pants begin to tighten in his crotch.

He was 100 percent sure that Kay was the person with whom he wanted to share everything. His joys, fears, the deepest yearnings ... In addition, from the way Kay responded to his caresses, he knew that there was still something of what they had lived long ago. Even the slightest chance he had to recover him, he would do so. So he swore he´d do whatever he could to get him back.

That night in the solitude of his house, thinking of him, he consoled himself giving himself pleasure until he fell asleep.

He returned to _Unterhaching_ to talk to him, without success.  Apparently, he was not sleeping at home. He was sure he did it to avoid him. He preferred not to be there in case he returned. 

Each time he was more and more convinced that this was so since the next times he returned the result was the same. Before leaving, he wrote him a note leaving his address and phone number asking to contact him. He threw it under his door.

Back in his apartment, a thought came to him that paralyzed him, felt as if pliers squeezed his heart. Would he have left again?

No, it was not possible, working in the same building, he had access to the information and there was nothing to corroborated this absurd fear.

He didn´t have to be a fortune teller to know where he was staying. A name came to his mind: Jörg. He didn´t know that it was worse if he was afraid of losing him one more time or knowing himself forgot in the arms of another. The pain mixed with another feeling that he couldn´t recognize made him feel sick.

Three weeks later, he was eating with some of his colleagues when he heard that Kay was fully recovered and he will be returning to his duties tomorrow.

It was a long night because of the excitement of seeing him again.


	14. Crossroads

**14: Crossroads**

**Kay.**

His mind was riotous. Ever since Marc appeared at his door he hadn´t had a moment's peace. He thought of him for a few moments, and others, too. "Was everything true that he had told him? Had he been able to look for him for so many months? And what about Betinna? What did he intend to look for? Did he expect to continue living a double life like a few months ago?"

These questions haunted him at all times. It was supposed that as long as he was incapacitated, he was destined to relax and convalesce to 100%. The reality was quite another. "How could he relax with that twist he had just given his life? A couple of months ago he had decided to move on. Focus on living and enjoying whatever he had with Jörg.

"A penny for your thoughts ..." Jörg said looking at him curiously.

He had been staying with him for several days. Partly because Jörg had asked him, claiming that it was not good that he was alone until he fully recovered. But the truth was that he had accepted because he was not prepared to have another encounter with Marc.

"I'm tired, that's all ..." he replied with a half-smile while changing without tones or the channels with the control of the TV.

All this time Jörg had been taking care of him. Accompanying him to his appointments with the doctor and supporting him in everything necessary.

Since returning from the hospital they hadn´t had sexual contact, something that Kay appreciated since he was not able to do it with Marc back invading his life. He needed to clarify his ideas and put his feelings in order. This seeming tranquility was broken through.

He couldn´t deny that he felt a physical attraction for Jörg. They had a good time together, they could talk long hours on almost any subject and they knew how to have fun. The reality is that they had become good comrades but it was not enough. Kay couldn´t deceive him or deceive himself; he knew that what he had with Jörg wasn´t at all comparable with what he had with Marc. Nothing had changed, even if he had worked hard. He had only had to see him again to destroy his determination. "Where was that tough guy he used to be?

"We need to talk," Kay said as he turned off the TV. He wanted to be honest with him. That was how they had been handled from the start. He needed to tell him what was going on and how confused he felt right now.

"I have the impression that a police officer is involved in this affair, isn´t he? Jörg said with an air of guilt.

Kay, surprised, looked at him closely. "How do you know?"

"I told you that I went to see you every day while you were hospitalized, but one time, when I came into the room, next to you was a police officer who was greatly affected by your condition." "When I asked who he was and what he was doing there, he just left." "I assumed he was someone important in your life ..." he confessed.

"I do not know why I did not tell you ..." he continued. "Maybe because deep down inside I knew he could change things between you and me." "The truth is that every day that passes I get more accustomed to this that we have." "But man, don´t distress yourself, that from the beginning we made things clear; remember that I am a free soul, "he said jokingly.”  The only difference is that by now I worry about you."

Kay thanked him for his words and told him about him ... How they met and how it ended. "Now you know it". -Whisper-. "I don´t know what's going to happen, but I want to be honest with you. It doesn´t mean I'm going to forgive him, but he stirred feelings in me”. “During these months we have always talked to the truth and this time is no exception, even though it is difficult for me to talk about all this." He finished.

Sitting on the couch, Jörg snatched his arm around his neck and began tickling him. _"Scheiße!_ ... I had begun to love him," he said. "Kay, decide what's best for you, you know you'll always count on me." He said as he turned the television back on.

Kay was grateful for his words, thought how fortunate he was to have him in his life. Tomorrow would be a challenge, as he would inevitably meet with Marc in Unity…


	15. Indifference

**15: Indifference**

**Marc.**

He had been restless all morning expecting to find him, but it was not until lunch when he saw him.

While eating with his colleagues without paying much attention to what they said, he persistently was glancing at the entrance. He felt like a nervous teenager waiting to see the love of his life. When he least expected it, Kay entered the dining room with all the members of his team. They looked happy and joked with them for having him back.

Their gazes crossed and he felt a twist in his stomach. He was dressed in cargo pants, military boots, and a polo shirt that marked the pectorals and muscles of his abdomen; he had left his beard and his eyes looked much brighter than he remembered. It was only a moment, as Kay quickly looked away, but it was enough to get him off balance.

He quickly tried to compose himself but from time to time glanced toward where he was. Kay did not look at him again. He laughed and looked quite relaxed.

He behaved quite differently from the Kay he met, the one who abstracted and shied away from the company of his colleagues. The only thing that had not changed was that sexual energy that emanated wherever he stood since he was attractive.

This last corroborated him with a policewoman who looked at him raptly, while he gifted the best of his smiles. That simple fact bothered him, "Was it possible that he was jealous of a woman, even though Kay didn´t care?"

At the end of the day, Marc was smoking at the exit of the Unit while waiting impatiently. He needed to talk to him. Kay appeared at his side but ignored him. Marc reached out and grabbed his arm. "We need to talk," he said almost like a plea.

**"We have nothing to talk about. Everything was already said, you decided it. Now I have a life without you and I ask you to respect it, "he replied, apparently without a trace of remorse.**

**"Do you have a life without me, or do you already have someone with you?" He spat him without any right. He knew it, but he could not control himself...**

Before he could respond, a black BMW appeared and without needing to see the pilot Marc knew who was driving. Kay looked at him with boredom and without a word, he went to the car, the door opened and Jörg got out.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, staring at Marc.

For a moment Marc thought of pouncing on him and punching him. Jealousy was the worst counselor. He had never felt anything so basic. Not even at the time, he was with Betinna when other men looked at her.

"Everything is right," Kay answered. "Let's move on". Both men got into the car and grinding their wheels, they left.

There he stood, stunned, staring at the road and wanting to hit the first one in front of him...

In a similar dynamic the days passed ... Kay ignored him and Marc made a great effort to conceal that it didn’t affect him. But inside, he felt miserable. In the nights of solitude in his apartment, he cursed by the course that had taken the things. His life near Kay was far from what he had imagined. He recognized it, drinking the rest of the scotch that he had in his hand.


	16. Perspective

**16: Perspective**

**Kay**

The weeks after his re-encounter had been the most difficult in months; it was not the same to remember him as to see him almost every day without speaking to him. Ignoring him whenever they saw each other was much more painful than he had imagined. He crossed a thought in his mind to ask for another transfer, but quickly dismissed the idea. "Another one in less than 24 months?" He questioned himself. Besides, deep down, knowing him nearby made him feel good, even though Marc had looked a little deteriorated lately, his beard was full of days and his eye-bags were deplorable. He was worried about seeing him like this, but he said that it was not his problem, and Betinna or Marc would fix their situation. He was convinced that it was not because of him that Marc was in that state.

He had been home for almost a month, practically ever since he rejoined to the Unit. The first day of his return, he found a paper on which was written an address and a telephone. It was Marc's asking him to contact him. He looked at it and instead of throwing it; he put it in the drawer of the dresser.

While he continued to see Jörg sporadically, they had decided by mutual agreement to put some distance between them. So, when Jörg was offered a tour of three weeks, he accepted without hesitation. "It's a good opportunity for you to put your feelings in order and what you want in your life," he had said.

Before boarding the plane that would take him to tour several cities, he said in a farewell manner: "I think that whatever we have goes beyond a simple physical attraction; I have the bad habit of saying things as I feel them and bluntly, that's why I tell you that since he came back you're not yourself. " "Regardless of what you and I have, you must decide what it is that you want in your life." "Life is a sigh and you should live it intensely." He finished, not before giving him a brief kiss.

Kay smiled sadly and watched him turn around to head for the airport controls. In spite of everything, he was right. However, he did not want to go through another disappointment, so he banished that thought and advanced to the parking lot.

There, he boarded the newly acquired Audi R8 silver and drove at full speed onto the freeway without a fixed course.


	17. Longing

**17: Longing**

**Marc / Kay**

"You're pathetic," he told himself as he looked into the mirror. He had had better days; with those dark circles because of the lack of a restful sleep and the unshaven beard, seemed ten years older.

"I think it's time to turn the page," he thought, "You cannot force him to be with you." As he repeated this as a mantra he headed for the shower. When leaving he began to shave and why not, he passed the machine over his head leaving his hair very short. When he finished he looked at himself in the mirror and decided that he did not look too bad.

It was Friday night and contrary to his wishes, he forced himself out. He needed to stop feeling sorry for himself. I would go to some bar in the center of Munich to hang out and have fun. "Although I thought I had forgotten how to do this last". -He thought mockingly-. While remembering that his birthday number 34 would arrive in a few weeks.

Walking through _Maximilianplatz_ saw a lot of movement in one of the bars: "Sinners Party" was read at the entrance. He knew it was a good place to have fun and forget about everything; however, he was not so sure he wanted to spend time there. Undecided, he entered the place.

 He went straight to the bar and asked for a beer, an hour later and a few more whiskeys, watched the show, while his subconscious mocked: "Why did you choose a gay bar if you were supposed to leave everything behind?" response, a voice surfaced in the back of his mind whispering a name: Kay ... "In such a big city, I would hardly bump into him." He mused. Sighing in annoyance, he headed for the baths. He wanted to pee.

As he made his way through the crowd, someone caught his attention. A blonde guy with his back to him, jumping and dancing near the stage. He went a little closer to see him closely, although, in fact, it was not necessary ... He knew that man perfectly.

Kay somewhat drunk, vibrated with the music. He had fun forgetting for a moment all his thoughts while watching Jörg giving his performance on stage. A night before that had returned and concluded his tour in "Sinners Party", the reason why they had remained to be there to celebrate the success of it.

At the end of the show, Jörg walked over to the table where Kay was with a couple of other friends.

"Congratulations, it was a superb performance!" Exclaimed one of them, while he raising his glass.

"He had a special dedicatory," Jörg said, looking at Kay directly. Kay, with his usual cocky smile, said, "Come on! Let’s celebrate that's what we've come to, "he said, taking him by the arm and pulling him toward the dance floor.

Both men danced very close to each other, spoke in their ears and laughed spontaneously. It was a spectacle worth seeing. Two good-looking, virile guys moving rhythmically alongside the music; their movements were synchronized and were so suggestive that anyone could imagine that they were a couple.

When the song concluded, they were going to their table while Jörg asked, "Well, what happened? Have you talked to him? "Kay shook his head and drank all the scotch he had just served. "No, I've avoided him all this time; I do not want to go through the same thing again, "he replied, as his countenance becoming serious.

"But, man, if you've been sick since he came back," he said, hugging him, shaking his hair suddenly and planting a kiss on his temple. "I do not like to see you like this."

Marc, who was a considerable distance away, could not take his eyes off them; a mixture of jealousy and an infinite anguish were taking hold of him. At last, he looked away and went to the baths. There he went directly to the sink and poured the icy water on his face, in front of the mirror he did not really see his reflection because, in his mind, he kept seeing to Kay over and over again having fun with that guy.

"I've had enough for tonight." He cursed with his fucking heartbroken. Feeling the vibration of the music to the brim and jaded of everything, he began to head towards the exit. Absorbed in his thoughts did not notice that Kay walked head-on in the opposite direction. It was not until he felt someone hitting him that he raised his head only to meet those blue eyes that had fucked his life forever.

Either because he was somewhat elated due to the alcohol or the surprise of finding him right there, that Kay, far from ignoring him, decided to confront him. "What the fuck was he doing in this bar?

"What are you doing here?" "Do you have anyone to comfort you with?" He attacked him, watching him closely. Without his careless beard and with that haircut he looked really sexy. Marc's main attraction lay in the contrast of those emerald eyes, - which had the ability to transport him to another world-, and his jaw was well defined, as it made him look even more manly.   A primitive desire began to travel to his body.


	18. Hunger

**18: Hunger**

**Marc / Kay**

Marc held his gaze for a long time without answering him; it seemed he wanted to peer into his mind. He did not think to meet him, and unless he spoke to him; He did it on the track having fun in a big way. He burned with rage and pain. He was overwhelmed by the situation, so without much thought, in his response, he shouted: "Is it me you speak to?", "Are you sure you have not made a mistake?", "You are the one who already found comfort" He snapped at him, turning around, making fun of him.

"Where have you left your whore?" He continued, blushing as he faced him.

At the same time, Kay began to feel the warmth, due to fury, running down his face. "How dare he? It was he who had decided to leave him. "

"You are jealous because I have passed from you; because I decided to redo my life once you left.” "You were so cowardly that you could not recognize what we had ... You're pathetic carrying a double life ..." Kay shouted as he held his gaze and approached threatening enough.

Marc felt the adrenaline rush through his body, he felt a pain so intense in his chest that it seemed to split in two; he could feel their fanned breath and -just inches from his mouth- he could smell Kay's breath-a mixture of mint and scotch that was beyond his senses. He could do no more ... that yearning for so long woke up as a humiliating need.

With both hands, he took him from the front of the shirt and pushed him against the door of a bathroom. At a distance, they did not separate their eyes from each other. So he kissed him. It was a hard and brutal kiss. He wanted to erase from his lips and his mind everything that was not part of it. He wanted to punish him for being with someone else, to forget him, to turn him into a shadow of what he had been...

Kay responded with the same intensity. He was hungry for him. The moment he felt his hard, demanding lips against his, he let himself go ... It was something he did not want and could not fight. He knew that afterward he would regret it and he was tired of the rage of thinking that he was still deceiving her about his true inclination. But at that moment, nothing mattered.

Kissing and stroking with such a desire, they locked themselves in the bathroom. There, they enjoyed each other as if it were the last time, only hearing the echo of their groans.

**Nothing ever prepared them for what they would live in that 1x1 space. They were indescribable sensations because it was not only something primary and physical but also a mixture of disrespect and excessive love.**

Kay unbuttoned his jeans and began stroking him, Marc responded in the same way. Both stimulated each other with the hands without ceasing to kiss, as if the life were in it.

Excited enough Kay turned Marc firmly, reloading him against the cool tile and began to caress his buttocks; He wanted to enter in him. For a moment Marc hesitated, this new determination of Kay provoked an obscure excitement; He turned around looking at him and without a word he struggled and turned him back against him; spat in the palm of his hand and lubricated him, seconds later began to make love to him. Kay felt a sharp pain that was disappearing to become an indescribable pleasure, - accepting that until today nobody had achieved what Marc made him feel. At that moment, no one of them cared about not having protection, feeling their skin to skin was something extraordinary. Marc pushed against him with force, -as if his subconscious wanted to punish him-, they both moaned, they did not care about anything else, just what was going on inside. Almost synchronized, they both ejaculated.

When they caught their breath, Kay turned to look at him and was surprised to find some tears running down Marc's cheeks. He wiped them with his thumb. After a few minutes Marc recovered himself and without saying anything else, he opened the door and left.

Alone, in that place and in spite of the alcohol, Kay recognized that this love consumed him.


	19. Overturn

**19: Overturn**

**Kay / Marc**

The insistent sound of the telephone woke him. He felt sick, with a hangover not only physical but also moral. He had betrayed himself again, since even knowing that Marc would hardly change, he had yielded to his wishes. Little by little he began to react.

As he thought about it, the phone rang again. "Hallo," he said. Silence…

"Hallo?" He repeated. Nothing ... "Marc, is that you?" He asked.

After a few seconds, he heard Jörg's voice: "No ... but I think that you answer my question of where you got into last night ..." he answered in a rather harsh tone. "We were supposed to party together and you just left without saying goodbye, but I think I have nothing to worry about ... we'll talk later, "he said as he hung up.

Kay was stunned. He has never seen Jörg behave like that before. He hadn´t even given a chance to respond… He´d talk to him some other time. -He decided-.

In the shower, as he masturbated, he rewound the scene from the night before. Needless to say, the next time they saw each other, it would be complicated. But now he didn´t want to think about it. He finished and dressed only in his underpants and went to his bedroom. Once there, he closed the curtains and the room was dim. Space looked bleak as his future. Without thinking anything else, he turned off the phone, lay down, and closed his eyes. He woke hours later with a new determination.

**Marc was free this weekend and despite the cold of October he decided to change his clothes and go running. He needed to assimilate what had happened last night. While exercising, He saw some ducks splashing in the lake and several people sitting enjoying the quite of the moment.**

Ten kilometers later, "exhausted", he returned to his apartment, showered and settled on the sofa. He called Betinna. Since he arrived in Munich he had only spoken to her a couple of times. It was no excuse not to call her and to know how Matthias was.

He didn´t know if she had forgiven him or if there was any other reason to respond beyond monosyllables as on previous occasions, but this time, she told him that his little boy had learned new words. Listening to her sharing the achievements of his son made him smile gratefully. Ten minutes later, he hung up and went to sleep. He dreamed with his tiny boy.


	20. Avidity

**20: Avidity**

**Kay / Marc**

It was Monday morning and he didn´t have the slightest desire to get up. He knew very well why. When he was on the way he remembered that Kay, among so many things, he complained about a "double life", that thought baffled him. They were not found each other during the day.

Before he left, he was smoking and looking at the forest, when he heard Kay.

"Marc we should talk." Kay had seen him a few minutes ago, and although he hesitated at first, he finally decided to approach to him. There was no need to postpone the inevitable. He had already made up his mind anyway.

He turned slowly and was surprised to see a grim look. "Tell me" he replied. Though he looked calm on the outside, he felt deeply disturbed inside.

"Not here, let's go to a place where we can talk quietly."

Marc agreed, feeling a knot in his stomach. He followed him to the Audi R8 and without asking where they were heading, he got into the car.

Inside, the atmosphere could be cut with a knife. Kay held the steering wheel tight, accelerating more and more; Marc looked ahead, not knowing what to say.

"Where are we going?" He finally asked.

Without taking his eyes off the road, Kay said, "If it's okay with you, we can go to my house, then I can approach yours, you know, I could leave you at the door, but I don´t think Betinna likes to see me." He said ironically.

Marc didn´t answer. At that moment he understood the reason for the recriminations, so he decided to wait for what Kay had to tell him, then to get him out of his error. His pulse began to accelerate again as he clenched the jaw tightly.

Ten minutes later, they were in Unterhaching. He opened the door and invited him to come in.

"Do you want something to drink?" Kay asked.

Marc shook his head. Without paying too much attention to his surroundings, he waited for Kay to speak. He felt tense and expectant.

Kay slowly approached him. Without saying more, he raised his hand to his face and with his thumb caressed his lower lip as he stared at him.

That caress carried him months ago when Kay used to touch him that way by taking control; it was one of many things that made Marc be excited. That way of showing him how much he wanted him. Whenever he took the initiative, he caressed him in that way, making him tremble. He liked that - because of their personalities - both would claim control. This kind of game of power further increased the chemistry between them.

With his eyes closed, he felt his mouth on the lips. Unlike their previous encounter, Kay took his time, savoring him slowly and deeply as Marc let himself be done. He sucked his lower lip and tucked his tongue in to taste it. It was a caress so sexual that it was enough to cram him and make him leak a moan. They separated only a moment and Marc heard Kay say: "The chemistry between us is still intact, I think the time that we were separated, far from fading became more intense, do not you think? He said with a lascivious look.

Without looking away, he continued: "Well, here you have me. You have already realized that I could not get you out of my mind, no matter how hard I have tried ... And I do not want to.

We can be together as we used to be before or just have some chance encounter. Sex between us has always been very good. " And so, in the eyes of the rest, you will remain a loving father and an exemplary husband "..." He was lowering the volume of the voice to finish the sentence in a whisper, without changing at all that hard look.

With that defiant attitude and the statement he had just made, he locked himself in his shell with determination. "Once either of us gets bored, we can go on our way and find someone else," what do you think? Kay challenged him, not looking away.

Marc did not believe what he was hearing ... All that he wanted for so many months, was coming true but not the way he had idealized it. He might be back with this man who had made him rethink the really important things in his life, but under a completely different scheme. At no point did Kay tell him about love, it was only sex. He couldn´t suppress the sadness he felt.

"I do not believe you, you told me that you loved me ... Friday in the bathroom´s bar ..." He did not finish the sentence because at that moment Kay interrupted: "Do not get confused Marc, it was just sex, very good sex if we are honest "He continued indifferently," it's true that I loved you a lot, but that's over.” "He concluded sharply."

**Marc did not know what to think, he stared at him for what seemed like an eternity.**

"So what do you say, do you accept my proposal? I believe that we will spend a very good time while it lasts. "

"All right ..." it was all he could say.

Kay nodded. "Perfect, you left me your number; I give you mine to be in touch.” And he continued," Do you want me to take you to your floor?

Marc shook his head and without saying anything else left the house. As he headed for the entrance to the S-Bahn, he told himself that he would do everything in his power to retain him. Even so, he couldn´t shake off that bittersweet taste.


	21. Setback

**21: Setback**

**Marc / Kay**

It had been a week since they agreed to have a relationship based on sex only. During the work, they spoke only for the absolutely indispensable. Kay had not called him. "Was he waiting for him to take the first step?" "Or did he pretend to have an open relationship?" "At no point did Kay tell him that they would be exclusive of each other ... if he were, he would not accept it." He told himself convinced.

That day Marc had more work of the accustomed one, when he left, the sky was already dark; meanwhile, on his way to his apartment he looked at the phone from time to time checking if was there any messages. Nothing. Forty-five minutes later, in his home, he decided to swallow the little pride he had left. It was Friday night so they could see each other. -He thought-. The third ring sent him to the mailbox. He dialed again and immediately jumped the mailbox. _"Scheiße!_ "

Hours later, he received a _WhatsApp: **"I was busy, what happened?"**_ "Oh yes, he was a moron ... First he was to answer, but he thought better of it and decided to ignore him. ”What was he thinking?" That message was enough to send him to hell. "One Friday night, he could imagine who he was busy with." _"Scheiße!" "Scheiße!_ " He cursed. So he silenced the phone and went straight to bed as a strong migraine threatened to appear.

In his home Kay looked at the phone: he had read the message but he didn´t answer... "He was such an asshole, Marc was paying him with the same coin..." -He reflected. He dialed him but Marc didn´t take the call. After three more attempts without any response, he went straight to the chest of drawers and pulled out the note Marc had left him a few weeks ago. He got into the car and headed for his house; at that moment he didn´t care if he could run into Betinna. He needed to see him.

Meanwhile as he was driving, he thought about the recent events that had upset his life. Before Marc reappeared he enjoyed spending time with Jörg, it was an easy relationship, no ties or complications, but there was no such feeling that consumed him, but at least he had some peace of mind.

He did not know what he would prefer: if that quiet life, or he´d risk being hurt and reliving the desire and anxiety of wanting to be with Marc; to feel that need of belonging when he was with him at the cost of certain suffering.

"Who did he want to cheat?" He said sadly. He could hide his true feelings about Marc, but he couldn´t fool himself. He loved him with all the strength he could. He recognized it without any doubt.

It was eleven o'clock at night when he found the address. It was all calm, the lights off. _"Scheiße!_ What was he doing there? "Before he regretted it, he rang the bell again. A few minutes later he heard Marc cursing and how he was approaching the door.

"Who could it be at this hour?" Marc complained. When he opened it and saw him standing in front of him he was shocked.


	22. Vulnerable

**22: Vulnerable**

**Kay / Marc**

"What ...?" He started to say.

"Can you go out?" "I don´t want to have an uncomfortable encounter with your wife," Kay replied.

"I'm alone, do you want to come?" Undecided Kay entered the apartment.

Once inside he offered him a beer. They went straight to the kitchen and began to drink. Unlike before, the silence between them was uncomfortable, so he decided to break it: "I thought you were busy."

Kay didn´t answer. Without another word, he approached Marc and touched his face as he looked at him fascinated, as if he had not seen him in months. "I need to be with you ... Are you sure we can be here?"

In response, Marc took his wrist and took him to the bedroom.

He turned on the light, the space was dim and he could see a large bed, next to a small bureau and a chair to one side; a pair of jeans were resting on the back of it. As Kay watched the room, he felt Marc behind him and how little by little with both hands he caressed around his chest and began unbuttoning his shirt.

Kay turned and their gazes crossed, he could see in Marc's eyes a mixture of devotion and desire at the same time. Bit by bit the clothes were removed until they were completely naked. Marc came to kiss him. Opening his mouth, Kay welcomed Marc's tongue; deepening the kiss and tilting him head for a better reach. He let out a moan of pleasure as if it were a sign of no return.

They went to the bed, Marc didn´t rush, put on top of him and began to kiss him; quickly, Kay reversed the papers and now it was he who was on top of Marc. He gave him brief kisses on the neck, down the chest and on the flat abdomen until to be between his legs. There, he began to stimulate him first with his hand and then - since he was excited enough - with his mouth. He delighted in Marc's response of pleasure.

Kay lay back on Marc enjoying this intimate caress, when he suddenly glanced to the side of the bed and could see a couple of pictures on the desk. The first one was Marc carrying his little boy. The other, one that he didn´t even know existed, was the one that pressed his chest; he never knew who took that pic, but there they were in the academy, in profile, both laughing and looking at each other. "What was going on there?", "All this time since they met again, he assumed that he was still with Betinna and from what he saw he was completely wrong ..."

Probably it was the sum of everything: that intimate caress, the discovery that Marc really loved him or watching his face of satisfaction while he between his legs kissed him from the base to the tip, while the touch of the mattress against his penis excited him more and more; but the moment he felt that Marc was ejaculating into his mouth, Kay had the most intense orgasm he'd ever felt.

Thus they spent a long time in which they met again, loving each other in silence, touching each other and making love until they fell asleep.

A sob from Marc was what woke him up. Lying on his side, Kay's hand rested on Marc's thigh.

"Hey, Marc, wake up ... it's just a dream," Kay whispered.

Marc woke up suddenly and sat up. Again there was that dream that pursued him, different circumstances and different places but invariably Kay ended up abandoning him and he was left in absolute solitude. He looked about him disoriented and saw him lying on his bed, and then remembered what had happened just a few hours earlier and calmed down.

"It was just a bad dream," Marc murmured.

"Come, come back here," Kay said as he opened his arms to cradle him.

As Marc huddled in his arms he whispered, _"Ich liebe dich,"_ and without waiting for an answer he fell asleep again.

It was the first time he had heard Marc say those words; but the emotion he felt made him take it by surprise and didn´t know what to say. He laid still listening to his own heartbeat and feeling the heat emanating from his lover's body, listening to his slow breathing. Holding him in his arms, he squeezed him even harder and kissed him softly on the temple; while a couple of tears trickled down to Marc's face.

The next days went by, going to work in the mornings and sharing together almost every afternoon. Little by little the relationship between the two changed. They used every moment to go jogging, to go to the movies and to eat or they simply stayed in bed in silence after sex; but that silence was no longer uncomfortable at all.

At no time did they talk about the subject, nor did they clarify the type of relationship they maintained, it seemed that both were afraid to ruin what they were living, as if this peculiar bond were hanging from fragile threads. But the reality is that they have never felt so complimented before. They both knew. The chemistry between them was growing if that was possible.

They understood each other perfectly, not only in bed but also outside. Many times it was not even necessary to speak; a simple glance was enough to communicate with each other.


	23. Certainty

**23: Certainty**

**Marc / Kay**

That morning they would go to the Oktoberfest, it was the last weekend before the end of this old tradition, so they had planned to spend the day there, taking advantage of their days of rest. They would drink beer and have fun in a big way. They met directly in _Hauptbahnhof_ to go to the parade with some companions of the team of Kay. It was obvious that there was something between them, but no one caused any conflict.

Generally both were quite reserved in that aspect, unless they were in some gay bar, in front of the others they didn´t show any demonstration of affection, and that day was not the exception.

Marc was sure Kay still loved him, he didn´t need to tell him to know. He was sure of it. He could feel it in every gesture and in every look not only when they had sex but also when they did anything else together. He knew he was recovering his trust and that made him feel extremely happy.

On the other side, Kay was happy, because for the first time he seemed to have something solid and durable. "That night he would talk to him, they would both be sincere and would clearly establish the kind of relationship they would maintain from now on," he decided hopefully.

There was only one issue that clouded his happiness. Jörg ... He really felt a sincere affection for him, for the time spent together and for the things that lived. But after the last call he received from him, he had distanced himself even more. He once went to find him to _Goodstuff_ to get things sorted out, but the talk didn´t go well. Jörg felt displaced even though he knew they had no formal relationship. So after listening to him, he simply congratulated him coldly and walked away. He didn´t answer the phone again.

"What do you think?" Marc asked with a smile, seeing him so serious all of a sudden.

"Not at all pussy," he replied, smiling in turn. He discarded his thoughts and began to drink his beer. "Prost!" He said, as he approached Marc and gave him a brief squeeze in the leg.

Several hours later and many more beers, they spent time with the rest of the group. They applauded and cheered Alexander who danced and sang on the stage beside the band, dressed in his typical Bavarian attire. Suddenly Kay felt someone looking at him, turned and then saw him.

Three tables aside, Jörg was with a group of friends and stared at him, but as soon as their eyes met, he got up and headed for the exit of the tent.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I have to pee," he said to Marc as he got up. He started to walk to where Jörg had left with the intention of talking to him. When he left the tent, he noticed that it had already darkened, but still the place was crowded. He was looking for him when he felt his touch on his shoulder ... he knew it was him.

"Jörg," he said in greeting. "It's good to see you, you look great." He went on, looking him in the eye. It was true; he looked as attractive as ever, with those emerald eyes and carefree smile on his face.

"I see you're with him ..." was his reply. Kay nodded and said, "Yes, it does. I feel happy except for not having my friend around. “He confessed.

Jörg looked at him, not knowing what to answer. He began hesitantly: "You're right, I've behaved like an imbecile, the truth is that even when things were clear between us I got used to you, you're a very special guy and I got more attached than I should. When I knew you had been with him, I got sick. Forgive me; my reaction has not been adequate. "

Kay smiled gratefully. "There is nothing to apologize, on the opposite; it is I who must thank life for having known us. You became someone very important to me; you were with me in one of the most complicated moments that I have lived and helped me to get ahead. "Thank you," he finished.

Jörg smiled back and said, "Come here, let me hold you." Both men hugged each other tightly; there was no need to say anything else. With that embrace they clarified all misunderstandings and could remain good comrades. Before leaving, Jörg said: "You deserve to be happy, enjoy it and you know that you can always count on me". Kay nodded with a smile. As a farewell, Jörg took him by the neck and kissed him briefly on the lips as he used to.

At that moment, Marc came out of the tent looking for him, when he saw them. Jörg took Kay by the neck and kissed him on the lips, while Kay responded to that kiss. Everything he had thought of before collapsed when he saw them together. "What a fool I'd been thinking I could get him back. He felt his eyes clouded with jealousy and pain.

"What the fuck ...!" He shouted, moving closer to where they were. "What does it mean Kay? He didn´t care about the scene he was doing and the people who were starting to look at them.

As he rebuked him, he stared at Jörg. "It's not what you think, calm down." "Let's talk…” Kay answered. But Marc didn´t hear it, at that moment he pounced on Jörg hitting him in the face. Both men fell to the ground, struggling and beating at the same time. Thanks to the athletic physique he had, Kay was able to grab Marc from the torso and pull them apart. Meanwhile, the group of curious people swirled around the place.

In seconds, the police arrived. _"Scheiße!_ ... at least I hope it's someone we know," Kay murmured.

After identifying himself with the officer and letting the officer disperse the people, Kay approached Marc, who was standing a couple of meters away, with his hands on his hip, breathing hard and staring at the ground. When he saw him arrive, he said, "I don´t want to talk to you, leave me alone," as he walked away.

Kay felt a hollow in his chest; he had never seen Marc so upset. And he was right to feel like this, who knows how he would have reacted if he had been in his shoes. Then, Jörg approached and Kay noticed that his right eyelid was swollen.

"Scheiße ... I'm sorry," Jörg murmured. "I didn´t think this would happen."

"It's not your fault". He told him to reassure him. "I'll come back and talk to him, I'll call you later." He finished


	24. Abyss

**24: Abyss**

**Marc / Kay**

As he walked to the nearest _S-bahn_ station, Marc reviewed what had happened. He felt such pissed off that he could do anything stupid. He was furious and confused. "What the fuck was he doing with him? He had believed for a moment that everything would change, that Kay still loved him. How stupid he had been ...”

With all those cobwebs entangled in his mind, he reached the apartment. He had drunk a lot of beer during the day, but it was not enough to make him feel drunk. Undecided, he went to the kitchen and opened the bottle of scotch, after that he poured a generous amount of the amber liquid.

Until a few hours ago, he was convinced that they could spend the rest of their lives together. "How could he have been so stupid? Had he been so naive as to believe that a guy like Kay could only be satisfied with him? "He thought that the things they had lived for the past few days would change their relationship, but he had been mistaken. He felt as if he had been shipwrecked and struggled to stay alive. _"Scheiße!"_ He shouted. He was completely screwed.

With this thought hovering in his head, he picked up the bottle and headed for the balcony. He didn´t know when he lost his sanity, but he didn´t really care. He didn´t like the way his life had taken these last few months, dreaming of a love that wasn´t reciprocated, an unbridled love for Kay that made him vulnerable and weak ... He couldn´t recognize himself in that man.

Looking toward the lake, Marc made a decision: "To hell with him ..." "This was the last time... Kay was not worthy of his love, so that was the way how it ended ... "He decided with a conviction he had never felt before.

Kay knew that Marc would be in his apartment, so he passed by his car and headed straight there. He had the copy of the key that Marc had given only two days earlier, because he was sure that it would be difficult to make him understand. But he had to. He would have to listen. It had been just a farewell gesture ... "He repeated to himself.

As the elevator opened the doors on the sixth floor, Kay's pulse quickened even more. He was nervous, he didn´t know how Marc would get him. His plan of sincerity had been fucked up after what had happened hours earlier.

Doubtful, he rang the bell. There was no answer. Minutes later, he opened the door and found the lights off and the apartment empty.

He turned on the light of the room and searched the rooms looking for him, but couldn´t find him. He was about to leave when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a lump on the balcony. He went there, opened the heavy glass doors, and then he saw him.

Marc was totally drunk, leaning on the concrete railing, staring blankly at Starnberg See. If he noticed his presence, he didn´t show it. He held the empty bottle in his hands and found it hard to stand. It was very cold and he was wearing only a thin shirt.

"Marc ... What are you doing here?" "Come, let's go and talk." Kay murmured.

Marc in response threw the bottle into the street and while he heard how it was shattered, he turned to look at him. "What are you doing here? I don´t remember opening you up." He staggered as he pulled a marijuana cigar from his shirt pocket.

"Shouldn´t be with your boyfriend in some bar dancing like you used to? Or better yet, fucking like animals?" "There's no need for you to come here to try to explain what doesn´t need explanation." He answered with apparent calm. "I´m the jerk for thinking that we had something real, when you made it very clear since the beginning that what would be between us would be just sex."

"I have nothing to do with him." He said in anguish. "We're just friends." "Worried about his condition, Kay came over to help him, but Marc pushed him.

"Friends… really?” Forgive me for being so obtuse of mind, but as far as I understand you two were couple before I came back to your life again. And if that kiss is a misunderstanding, then I don´t want to imagine what it would be otherwise. He answered ironically.

"Marc, listen to me; I found him and started talking; he supported me when I needed him most. We just clarified things, told him that you and I are together and he understood. He was saying goodbye to me when you came ...”

Marc continued: "I thought that what you and I had could be real and lasting that I had regained your love, but I was very naive; it's clear that you don´t settle for me alone, right?” There was no answer, because at that moment Kay's cell phone rang.

Kay looked at the phone screen and Jörg’s name appeared on it. It was the worst moment he had chosen to call him. He silenced it and put the phone in his pocket, looking at Marc.

"Are not you going to answer?" He asked. "Surely it's him ... You know? I'm not interested…". -He claimed. "You can do whatever you want, go with him or anyone else; sleep with whoever you want.   Between us there was nothing beyond sex and now not even that "- Finished.

Kay noticed that Marc's eyes were glassy, either because of how drunk he was or the restrained anger. It hurt to see him like this. At that moment Marc rushed toward him with the intention of hitting him, so Kay held him with both arms. Immediately afterwards Marc fell to his feet crying. "What have you done to me?" "What have I become?"  He sounded like a child.

"Hey, easy ..." Kay mumbled as he knelt and hugged him. "It's not just sex what we have, my intention was to talk to you ..." It felt so bad to see him cry like that because he was responsible for all that.

"I love you ..." he whispered.

The effect of so much alcohol along with the joint of marijuana made sick to Marc; with strong arches began to vomit; Kay helped him to his feet and led him to the bathroom. As he vomited again, he noticed that he peed in his pants. He was really bad ... Without a word; he turned on the tap and began to undress him. He bathed him and wrapped him in a soft dressing gown. Then, took him to the bedroom and laid him down. Marc was practically unconscious, so he didn´t realize what was happening.

Once he cleaned the mess of the living room, he returned to the bedroom and sat at the foot of the bed while watching him sleep.

He felt like shit.

 


	25. Awakening

**25: Awakening**

**Marc**

It was a long night; several times had to help Marc to get to the bathroom, finally he decided to put a bucket next to the bed to make things easier. It crossed his mind to take him to the hospital because he could become dehydrated, but a few hours later, he stabilized and fell into a deep sleep.

He had been sleeping for more than six hours, Kay was taking care of him, and when sleep overcame him, he slept for hours. He never imagined the consequences of his decision. "I just wanted to make things right with Jörg so that his life would be perfect." He thought wryly. "And what had he gotten?" Just fucking what really mattered.

Marc woke up slowly, due to a sharp pang in the head. "No wonder", -he recalled-. He had flashes of the recent events. He remembered Kay in Jörg's arms, the fight and Kay in his apartment. "Would he still be here?" He asked himself. Slowly, he sat up on the pillow, noticed that he was naked under the robe he was wearing, and a bucket beside the bed filled the Dantesque scene. The worst: his mood was on the floor.

From the living room, Kay noticed movements in the room. Marc had got up, he heard the key to the shower, and sat down to wait for him.

Fifteen minutes later Marc came out wearing only jeans, barefoot, his bare torso showing a perfect abdomen and his hair still wet. Despite the dark circles and the stern gesture looked better.

"I made you some coffee," Kay said in greeting.

Marc didn´t answer. He went straight to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. When he returned to the living room, Kay looked at him, had the wrinkled clothes of the previous day and dark circles very similar to his.

"Go away, I want to be alone." After saying that, he turned and slammed the door of the room.

"Was it possible to feel worse?" Kay thought as he left the apartment and headed to his car. All the way back home, he thought about what happened and if Marc would be able to forgive him. He was physically and mentally exhausted, so once he arrived, he went straight to the shower. With only a towel covering his waist, he returned to his bedroom; he closed the curtains and lay down trying to sleep.


	26. Jealousy

**26: Jealousy**

**One week later.**

Marc and Kay's group of friends knew that something had happened during the Oktoberfest celebration, since at work Marc ignored Kay, while Kay did everything to get his attention. That was how Alexander announced that on Friday they would go to the usual bar to celebrate his birthday and he wouldn´t accept a no for an answer.

While he was on his way, Kay thought one more time what he could do to recover what he had with Marc. He was aware that it was his fault, however, Marc's attitude annoyed him greatly, and since if they were fair, neither had they talked about the kind of relationship they wanted to keep.

**"A relationship" ... was the first time he really started thinking about it. Except for the ephemeral courtship he held with Anna in his student days, he never again had a stable relationship. They got along well, like one who gets along with her best friend, "he remembered," but no matter how hard he tried, he didn´t feel that desire that consumed him and made him do anything stupid to be with each other. They had sex a couple of times and that's when he recognized that women were not going with him. So without further explanation, he ended that farce.**

**After that experience, he began to have furtive encounters with the quiet boy that nobody spoke to. This was how he discovered his true identity and by immaturity or to prove that nothing matters, he began to date with a lot of men, but never felt the need to belong to someone.** [](https://ibb.co/fzgJbb)

 

Not even with Jörg, who although there were attraction and camaraderie, it was nothing compared to what he felt when he was with Marc.  After that brief recount decided that despite how complex a relationship could be, he preferred to have one than live an empty life and of debauchery.

When he entered the bar, a waitress approached, who took him to the table where his colleagues were waiting for him. As he walked among the tables, he was listening "I need you tonight" by INXS, one of his favorite songs.

From where he was sitting, Marc could see Kay entering the bar. He looked as handsome as ever, the black sat him pretty good. He admitted annoyingly.

Instead, Kay repeated that just because he really appreciated Alexander was there, but the reality is that he had a grey mood. After a week of what had happened, he had gone through all the stages that could exist within a fight; from guilt to impotence because of Marc's attitude. He was hoping to have a chance to talk to him. -He stated-.

"Oh, look who is coming," said Alexander as they shook hands in greeting. "We thought you were going to pass from us." Kay laughed and began to greet the rest, but when he got to where Marc was and wished to greet him, he left him with his hand outstretched and only nodded; he turned to talk to the girl who accompanied Kay.

"Can you get me something to drink, dear?" He nodded at the young woman.

She turned to look at him and asked, "What do you want to drink, handsome?" - Showing perfect teeth.

"A _Paulaner,_ please," he answered as he glanced at Kay. Needless to say, that gesture struck him with pride.

Thus they passed the next two hours, between jokes and anecdotes of the group. Every time the girl went to see if everything was in order, she took the opportunity to stare at Marc.

That a beautiful woman flirted openly with him pleased him. And even more when he glanced at Kay's reaction. That the situation was invested this time for a change, it was amusing. So he decided to continue with that game.

"What the fuck was he doing?" Kay wondered as he watched Marc flirting with her. They spoke very close to each other and she touched his arm; he seemed to like it. The worst was when after a few minutes he invited her to dance.

Kay watched them with a serious countenance. "It´s supposed that she was there to serve drinks, not to flirt with the customers..." He was grumpy. "Seeing Marc holding the woman in his arms caused him even physical discomfort. He was jealous of her, how he looked at her and smiled at her. That feeling he had never experienced and he didn´t like it at all...

When the song was over, Marc returned to the table where everyone but Kay cheered him by raising the jars of beer and toasting for him. "Prost!" They cried and laughed. He sipped his drink and went to the toilets. Kay followed him.

He was in the urinal when Kay approached him. "Marc we need to talk."

"I think it's a bit late for that, don´t you think? Marc said as he pulled up his zipper and headed for the sink. He washed his hands as he looked at Kay through the mirror. "Curious," he thought, the satisfaction he felt before from Kay's reaction to the waitress, vanished as he stood in front of him; on the opposite, being close to him produced a mixture of courage and sadness at the same time.

He walked to the exit and Kay blocked his way, grabbed his wrist to hold him, "please ..." He continued. "Marc, these days without you have been very difficult ... I miss you." Marc let go while saying, "Don´t... this situation is very tired." Saying that he went to the table. Alone in the bathroom looking into the mirror saw his face defeated and feeling helpless, he struck the mirror with his fist; immediately the blood began to sprout copiously...

 _"Scheiße!"_ He exclaimed as he realized what he had done. He wrapped some paper around his hand and headed for the exit.


	27. Truce

**27: Truce**

It was already dawn when Marc began to say goodbye to the group.

"Are you sure you don´t want me to drop you off?" One of his companions offered him.

"No thanks, I'll ask for a taxi," he said.

He was about to leave when the young woman with whom he had been flirting all night approached. "Are you leaving so soon?" She asked, staring at him. "Yes, I'm leaving," he replied, smiling. "Give me your number and I'll call you, what do you think?" In response, she took the pen with which she made the orders and wrote down her phone in his arm and said, "I'll be waiting for your call; by the way I am Katherina ". After saying that, she gave a brief kiss on his lips. "Marc," he said as he watched her go to another table.

As he waited outside the bar, he saw Kay leaving with his left hand rolled up in paper and blood dripping from it; he was heading to his car.

Seeing him like this, he couldn´t ignore that. "What happened to you?" He asked as he took his hand.

"It's nothing, just a bad blow," he said, turning away from him.

"Are you crazy? You have a deep cut; you must go to the hospital to get cured. "Come on I'll take you, you cannot drive like that. Where's your car? "He asked worriedly.

Kay smiled faintly and pointed to it, it was parked a block away. They both got up and while Marc was driving to the hospital he was glancing at Kay. Neither of them spoke. Kay looked pale but didn´t complain.

They had to give him ten stitches and antibiotics to minimize the risk of infection. After paying the account, they went to the car. Marc was serious; so much had happened in such a short time that he felt physically exhausted.

"Thanks for bringing me Marc, you didn´t have to do this, but I appreciate it; Come on, I'll take you to your apartment, "he proposed looking at him.

"You know you can´t drive; I'll take you to your house and from there I'll take a taxi.” He answered without changing his countenance. Without waiting for an answer, he climbed into the car and waited for Kay to come in.

They made the journey to Unterhaching in silence, due to when Kay wanted to speak to him, Marc replied: "I do this because you are badly wounded, but nothing has changed." When they arrived they got out of the car and Kay looked at him for a long time.

Breaking the moment, Marc looked away and began to walk towards the _S-Bahn_ station. At that time there were no trains, but he wanted to get away from Kay as soon as possible. "Arriving at the station I would ask for a taxi," he told himself.

He didn´t take ten steps when Kay was at his side. "You can´t walk like that, it's getting very cold." "Let's go to my house and then you can wait for the taxi to arrive or take my car and then return it to me." -He proposed-.

"Kay was right," he thought. Unwilling to discuss further, he followed him in silence. Inside, Kay went into the kitchen to pour him a scotch while Marc spoke to ask for the taxi; it would take about forty-five minutes to arrive ... "Scheiße! -He murmured-.

He sat in the living room to wait and took advantage to look around him. A few minutes later Kay came and sat down opposite him. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked. Marc shook his head as he stood up. "I want to go home". At the moment of uttering that phrase, the phone rang, the second ring came in, and then Jörg's voice began to be heard: "Kay, are you there? I'm dialing to your cell phone but it sending me directly to the mailbox ... I´m calling you to know how you are, please return my call, okay? I want to see you ... "After that, the communication was cut off.

What the fuck! He really had very bad luck, Jörg had not called after what happened and just chose that moment to do it ... Marc's face said it all.

**"Marc ... it's not what it looks like ..." Kay insisted.**

**With a smile of disgust, Marc answered: "Are you serious? Leave it ... you don´t need to explain me anything...**

**"Listen, listen to me," Kay replied, while his hand gripping Marc's arm. Marc jerked off and went to the bathroom.**

Kay stood in the middle of the room, he didn’t know what to do or say, the only thing that was clear was that the possibility of fixing things between them was getting more and more distant.


	28. Breathing

**28: Breathing**

**Marc**

"Fuck!" He hissed for the third time that day. Everyone who remembered Kay kissing the DJ felt like someone was kicking his balls. To mitigate his discomfort, he decided to call Katherina - the waitress she had met a week ago - they agreed to go out for drinks and meet on Thursday, as it was their day off.

Inside he was convinced that he was not making the best decision about his love life, but the reality was that if he didn´t, he would go crazy. "It would be ideal to have the formula to forget and heal a fucking heart ..." He thought bitterly as he remembered Jörg's call. "Would they be together again?" He heard a little voice inside.

Ten minutes before ten o'clock, he was walking on _Grafinger Str._ because they agreed to meet in _Schlagergarten,_ \- according to Katherina, it had a very good atmosphere and on Thursdays, there was Karaoke night. Regretfully, he turned away with the intention of leaving when he heard his name being shouted. "Damn!" He thought as he turned to her. Without the work clothes, she looked much better, Marc decided as he watched from head to toe. She was a very pretty woman.

"Are you having second thoughts about our date?" She asked jokingly as a greeting.

"How could I, with you as my companion?" Smiling, Marc replied, as they walked toward the entrance.

At midnight and after a lot of shots of tequila his mood improved substantially. "He was having a better time than he expected." "He thought about it as he watched her sing at the top of her lungs, no matter how out of tune she was ... she was definitely a lot of fun.

"I had a good time," Marc confirmed when he left her at the door of her house.

**"I had a good time too; do you want to come in?" Katherina replied.**

**"Thanks, but it’s better not." He smiled a little. He decided that it was not a good idea to start something that he didn´t know if he wanted to finish. -**

"Okay," she agreed. Even so, she walked slowly to him and kissed him. He hadn´t had other lips than Kay's since he had had sex with a couple of women, but they never kissed him. It was a pleasant sensation so he decided to continue with that kiss feeling her soft lips and her warm breath against him.

Once they agreed to meet again, Marc climbed into the taxi and headed home. Contrary to the custom of the past few days, his mood had improved. Smiling, he leaned back in the seat.


	29. Hope

**29: Hope**

**Kay**

Because of the strong situations he had lived through his life, he was accustomed not to be weak in front of others; and in general terms, he did quite well. But due to recent events, he felt miserable. He was sitting in the waiting room and he was waiting for his turn to take off their stitches, as he reconsidered it.

He had really fucked it, hitting the glass only showed a complete lack of control of the temper that characterized him; and of course the boss of the division wasn´t at all pleased with what had happened, for without a hand he could do practically nothing; reason why he had sent him home to recover. _"Scheiße!_ He hissed meanwhile he got up to go to the doctor´s office.

Not going to the Unit also meant not being able to see Marc or know how he was since he kept not answering the calls every time he tried to get in touch with him.

At that moment the beep of a message rang, he checked his phone and could see that it was Jörg making jokes about his visit to the doctor. He had seen him a couple of times, and it seemed there had never been a break between them. Jörg continued to maintain his excellent sense of humor and tried by all means to cheer Kay, but in the end when he saw that all his attempts were in vain, seemed to give up to his attempt. Kay thanked him since he didn´t feel like pretending he felt good since it was not like that at all.

When he left the hospital without the sutures and with a lot of recommendations from the doctor to rehabilitate the hand, he received a call from Alexander.

"Kay, how are you?"

"Fine thanks. I'm getting out to the doctor´s office, "he said in turn.

"Perfect, are you ready to break another mirror?" He teased. "I'm calling because we're planning a surprise party for Marc; His birthday is next weekend and we thought you'd like to be there.” What do you say, can we count on you?"

WTF... He had completely forgotten it…

After a long silence on the other side of the line, Alexander asked, "Kay, are you still there?"

 "Yes, I´m here ... sure, you can count on me." "What do you need me to help you with?"

"Nothing, everything is ready, we will do it in my house; I talked to Marc and invited him to have a few beers ... He cannot imagine it.” He finished with a laugh.

When he cut off the call, he felt like a jab in his stomach. He was nervous because he would see him and it would be a good opportunity to settle things between them. He said excitedly.

That Saturday morning had gone running earlier than usual since he hadn´t been able to sleep because of the excitement of seeing him; when he returned to his house to take a shower, it was just beginning to dawn. "I had a lot of things to do, including picking a suitable gift for Marc."

Two hours later he was going to _Inhorgenta_ \- an exhibition of jewels with the signatures of the most prestigious designers. He walked for a long time without finding anything he liked; when suddenly looking at a dresser he saw it. As soon as he did, he knew that was the gift he was looking for.

It was a leather bracelet with a link in the form of infinity in platinum attached to it; asked the clerk to show it to him and while watching it closely, the salesman said: "we can printing what you want in it ..."

Forty minutes later, he left the place with the bracelet inside a velvet box and the initials M & K engraved on the back part. "Perfect." Snorting with the result, he climbed into the car.


	30. Twist

**30: Twist**

**Kay**

Standing in the doorway, he waited someone opened it.  "Calm down, you seem like a teenager," he scolded himself as he felt the emotion in the pit of his stomach.

It was Alexander who opened it and invited him in. "Kay! It´s good to see you! Please, come in. What do you want to drink? "And he continued," Marc is not coming yet. "

Inside, there were many people, fellows of the unit almost in their entirety; he knew almost everyone. He went to the kitchen counter, where the drinks were being served. He ordered a dark beer and leaned into the counter to look at the people. He was nervous, he hoped Marc would like his gift, but above all he hoped they would reconcile each other.

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Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and he heard Alexander saying, "It's him, turn off the lights ... I'm going to open it."

"Surprise!" The majority of those shouted in unison, while Kay leaned against the bar, watching Marc's reaction. "He didn´t expect it;” -he said to himself, looking at his discomfort.- “He would never change ... that´s the way Marc was, he didn´t like that kind of celebration, he was rather a reserved type who enjoyed solitude and avoided being the center of attention." -He concluded with a smile-.

"Thanks guys, what a pleasant surprise!" Marc was saying as he greeted them, shaking hands and patting them on the back. As he approached the bar for a beer, he saw him. Kay stared at him with an expression he couldn´t decipher. As soon as their eyes met, Marc felt a twinge in his stomach. Nothing had changed; he continued to feel the same sensations whenever he saw him. He recognized a pang of excitement in his crotch.

When he reached the bar and took a beer, Kay approached him and said without taking his eyes off him: "Happy birthday Marc ..."

"Thank you," he said grimly.

"Can we talk?" Noticing his hesitation, he continued, "Please?"

Marc nodded and then followed him into one of the rooms.

They entered a dimly lit room, apparently it was Alexander's studio, as there were several self-defense books and other similar items stacked on a desk, next to them was a computer and next to a pair of armchairs on a fluffy rug . It was really a cozy space. Kay closed the door and asked him to sit down.

Both, though for different reasons, were nervous, the two were aware of it.

"Marc ..." Kay was saying when he heard the beep of a message. Marc looked at his phone and read a message from Katherina, proposing to see him. Without thinking carefully about what he was doing, he sent his location with a message that said: "It's my birthday and they had a surprise party for me, are you coming?" He sent the message and put the phone away. He looked back at Kay, who was watching him closely.

"Well ... what's wrong?" Marc said uncomfortably.

"I have something for you," he said hesitantly, pulling the velvet box from the trouser bag and giving it to him

Marc didn´t know why, but he remembered the time when Kay handed the key of his apartment many months ago. Looking at him questioningly, he took the box and opened it. Inside was a leather bracelet with an infinity symbol attached to it ... he took it and when he examined it he noticed with his thumb an engraved border on the back part, he turned it over and looked at the initials M & K engraved. "It was a piece of very good taste, but what really surprised him was that Kay had taken the time to do something like that; that little detail added to everything that had happened between them, it caused a feeling of loss with which it was difficult to deal to him ... "- Accepted sadly.

He didn´t know how long he stared at the bracelet thinking about so many things, until Kay pulled him out of his thoughts by asking him, "So ... do you like it?

"I like it," he admitted. "But I cannot accept it." He told him that, and he returned the bracelet.

"Why not? Kay insisted nervously. "It's your gift, I bought it especially for you ... please, do not reject it". He took it by the hand and tried to put it on. Marc looked at him as he buttoned the bracelet around his wrist.

Marc didn´t know what to think or how to react; being close to him caused him incredible sensations. On the one hand he still believed that he had betrayed him, but on the other hand, seeing him like that, nervous and with a longing in his eyes, made him hesitate ... maybe it was true of what Kay had told him.

"Agree…” Marc said, looking at him for a long time. "But this doesn´t change things between us." He continued with a hard sight.

"Marc, please ... these days without you, have been shit. We cannot go on like this. I love you, forgive me ... I never meant to hurt you. “Kay kept his hand on his arm.

"No Please; I don´t want to talk about this anymore.” Marc asked in a low voice; due to his determination was wavering.

At that moment, Alexander knocked on the door and opened it. "Marc, here you are ... there is a young woman at the entrance asking for you ..."

Kay's countenance suddenly became serious; Marc got up and left the room.

"What the fuck?" Kay hissed as he rose with his heart in a fist.

Before going to the main room he entered the bathroom; there he looked at himself in the mirror and water poured into his face. "Nothing was resulting as he had planned." He thought, while looking his reflection.

When he came out of the bathroom and headed towards the living room he heard a woman's laugh, looking for where the sound came from, Kay found the girl in the bar with a drink in her hand and laughing at something Marc was saying in her ear. They were very close to each other and she touched his arm with too much confidence.

At that moment jealousy took hold of Kay and he began to walk directly towards them, without thinking of the consequences.

 


	31. Showdown

**31: Showdown**

**Kay / Marc**

"Hello, I'm Kay." He heard himself say as he greeted the woman.

"Hello! Katherina ... “-She answered him with a smile, shaking her hand. -”Are you a friend of Marc's? She asked, still smiling at him.

"I could say, yes ... we're good friends, isn´t, Marc?" Kay challenged him, staring at him.

"We work together on the Unit, Kay is in the Riot Control Unit" - He confirmed in response. "What the hell was going on with Kay?" He asked, holding his gaze.

"Marc is a bit reserved, the truth is that we have been friends since a long time; we were in Düsseldorf, where we passed many things together. Right, Marc? "Kay continued with a restrained rage.

Katherina could feel the tension between the two men, but at that moment Alexander interrupted them: "Everyone! Let's toast to Marc ... " -After that, he lifted his glass. -”Prost!" They shouted in unison.

Taking advantage of the situation and seeing that Alexander was approaching with Katherina, Marc said to them: "Can you excuse us for a moment, please?" Saying that, he looked at Kay and beckoned him to follow him as he headed for the room where they were a moment ago; he slammed the door shut behind them.

"Can you tell me what the fuck are you playing?" Marc stared at him coldly.

"What are you doing with her?" He challenged him in response. "Are you going to have sex?" Kay continued pushing him against the wall.

Marc annoyed, shouted: "I don´t need to follow your game" "Nor why give you explanations; our relationship ended even before it started; you decided it when you cheated on me.”

And he went on: "If you don´t want things to end up much worse between us, I ask you to stop whatever you're doing ..." And without waiting for an answer, he whipped the door and left Kay impotent in the middle of the room.

After that confrontation Kay couldn´t be more than an hour at the party, watching as Marc and that woman laughed and flirted openly, so after say goodbye to Alexander, he left the party.

Kay got into the Audi and drove to _Planegg_ , with no speed limits on the highway and in a car like that, exceeded 160 km per hour easily; he didn´t care about anything, he felt so empty and hurt that he just wanted to stop feeling. He didn´t know why, but he needed to see Jörg.

Twenty minutes later, he was in front of his entrance hoping to find him at home. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps approaching the door.

"Kay, are you okay?" Jörg told him as he watched him pale and defeated.

"No the truth is no.  Can I come in? -Answered-.

"Don´t ask, man, of course."

After telling him everything that happened, he felt a little calmer. "I don´t know what else to do, it seems that everything is definitely fucked up ..." - He finished saying.

Jörg stared at him for a long moment with a fixed thought in his mind. "I´ll do it." He told himself. He hated to see Kay in that state.

"What do you think?" Kay asked.

Shaking his head, he said, "Nothing, tomorrow will be another day ... do you want to go out or what do you want to do?"

They spent the rest of the night watching movies while Jörg tried to cheer him up. This was almost impossible.

On Sunday morning they went out to breakfast and then they went home.

On Monday at noon, Jörg was already at the police station looking for Marc.

Sitting in front of the computer, Marc was working on a report he was to present about a criminal case.   Suddenly someone knocked on his door and the attendant informed him that there was a man outside looking for him.

"That´s ok," he replied.

A few seconds later Jörg entered into his office.

"You ... what are you doing here?"

"I decided to come and talk to you because I care about Kay."

"What do I have to do with it?" "If you don´t know it yet, he and I have nothing." "So you both can continue do whatever you want without risk that nobody bother you ..." -He answered.

"Yes it´s no doubt that you are an asshole ..." He told at him.

"Take care of your words ... I don´t think it's the best place to insult me like this" "Here or outside I can put you back in your place." He threatened.

"I just want you to know, that Kay loves you and he is having a really bad time." "If you care, you will do something to fix it, because if not, I assure you that I will do my best to be with him and to achieve that he definitely forget you." Saying that, he turned around and left.

Marc froze, not knowing what to think. Maybe he had made a mistake after all.

Leaning back on the couch, Marc thought about the course that was taking his life. Never before had he been as confused as now. On the one hand, things with Katherina had not progressed, since she had realized that something happened between him and Kay.

"Marc, I really like you; but after what happened at your party, I realized that there are inconclusive things between Kay and you; it is evident that there is a very strong feeling between both of you; it seems to me that you must solve it before you want to go ahead with any other relationship.”  -Saying this, she looked sympathetically-.  "If you want we can continue to go out, the truth is that I have a lot of fun with you, besides it is always nice to go out with someone so good looking." She had told him laughing.

On the other hand, he kept thinking about his encounter with Jörg; because of what he said, Kay and he were not together; however - according to his words - Jörg had the intention of taking advantage of his breakup to conquer him.

Regarding Kay, after what happened at the party didn´t return to look for him, even when they crossed a couple of times at work, he didn´t even look at him.

Marc felt himself between the sword and the wall.

As he thought about all this, he kept stroking the leather bracelet Kay had given him on his birthday. He didn´t know why, but he didn´t want to take it away, it was a way to feel him close. Suddenly, he felt a pain in the testicles that reminded him that since the last time, he had had relations with Kay, he had hardly touched; the reality was that he didn´t have the mood to do it, "he agreed reluctantly.

Finally he got up and changed his clothes, put on sneakers and went running. It was the best escape he had ever found to mitigate the pain.


	32. Mission

**32: Mission**

**Marc / Kay**

The next day Marc was on his way to the boardroom; all the leaders of each department had a monthly meeting, in which they reviewed the priorities of the Unit and the most important tasks that they had to attend.

Waiting for the Chief of Police, the rest of the team was drinking coffee and exchanging banters between them. Kay was sitting in front of him but didn´t see him; his gaze was fixed on his mug with the lost gaze. "What would he be thinking?" Marc wondered as he glanced at him.

Five minutes later they started. During the first half hour the meeting was held without major setbacks; reviewing the results of the last month and some pending tasks; however, things changed when they were notified that they would have to travel to Hamburg because of a special mission; one of the leaders of the drug gang had been captured in that city and required Marc to travel there with the head of the Riot Control Unit, Kay.

Both looked at each other for a few seconds and then looked away. Their flight was leaving that night. As soon as the meeting was over, Kay got up and left without looking back.

It was eight o'clock when Kay arrived at the airport. He had enough time to document and drinks a coffee. "It would be a difficult week not only because of traveling with Marc but also for the work itself." He acknowledged as he picked up the boarding pass.

He sat down at the restaurant table closest to the gate and ordered a coffee. While he waited for the time to board, he saw people hurrying along.

Marc knew that the flight was full when he wanted to change his seat since he was assigned to the window and hated it, but he consoled himself thinking that it was only an hour with fifteen minutes of flight.

When they called to aboard, Marc went to the line and entered the aircraft; hadn´t seen Kay in the gate, which was strange because according to the itineraries that sent them was on the same flight as him.

Calmly Kay finished the rest of the coffee and headed for the living room; saw that the last passengers were boarding and took his place behind them. He was the last person to aboard; "Well ... he had not met Marc, at least he would have another hour before he saw him," he thought.

Inside the plane, he was looking for his seat when he saw him. There was his vacant seat and next to the window was Marc. "Pfff... Really?" "Did the assistant buy us the flight together?" Kay thought as he sat down.

"Hi." Marc greeted him.

"Hi," Kay said as he tightened his seat belt.

Once they took off and having passed the twenty thousand feet, Kay took out his laptop and began to check the files that had been sent to them related to that case. He was reading the reports when he spotted Marc lying with his eyes closed, leaning against the back of the seat; he thought he was asleep when he noticed that with one hand he touched the bracelet he had given him. He felt a kind of satisfaction that he had not only preserved it but also wore it. That meant something, he was sure.

All the way from the airport to the hotel both remained silent. Kay was staring out the window and Marc staring straight ahead. When they arrived at The Madison - the Hotel they had been assigned - they went directly to the front desk to check in.

"You go first," Marc said, pointing to the counter.

Kay didn´t answer him, went ahead and spoke directly to the young woman at the reception. "Hello, I have a reservation, my name is Kay Engel."

"Good evening Mr. Engel, allow me a second please"; "Here, I have your reservation: it's for five nights and Mr. Borgmann is with you, isn't it?"

"Yes, he will also stay, but in a moment he will do his registration," Kay answered.

"No, I mean the reservation we have with your name is for two people in a double room and your companion is Mr. Marc Borgmann." -She corrected-.

At that moment, Marc approached the counter as he had heard the conversation. Kay looked at him quickly, and replied to the young woman:

"It must be an error; we need two single rooms ".

"I'm sorry Mr. Engel, but the hotel is 100% capacity and your reservation was made by Mr. Alexander Schmidt this morning; he assured us that you only required a room and the reservation is already paid.” -She finished politely-.

"That son of a bitch ..." Marc murmured, looking at Kay.

"This would be harder than he had imagined," Kay thought as he signed the register. "He'd talk to Alexander when he got back to Munich." -Stated-.

They headed silently up the elevator each carrying their luggage; they were tired from the trip but the expectation of how things would develop between them.

Kay slid the card through the door lock and it opened showing a small but tasteful room; In the middle, there were two beds attached to each other, with a bureau on each side, a desk and a red sofa that complemented the decor.

"It seemed like a joke," Marc thought as he looked at the two tiny beds. "At this hour there is not much we can do but tomorrow we can fix this situation," he said as he looked at him expecting to see his reaction.

Kay looked at him and raised both eyebrows twisting his mouth at the same time. "Yes, you can do it yourself tomorrow; it doesn´t bother me, at the end, it's not like we've never been in this situation ...

In response, Marc looked at him with an angry face and Kay finished: "calm down, I won't  rape you"; saying this he went into the bathroom and opened the shower.

Marc felt moody and nervous at the same time. He had to sleep because the next day they had to be very early in the offices. So he decided to go down to the bar to have a beer and relax.

When Kay got out of the shower, he dressed only in underpants and left the bathroom; Marc was not there. Though he tried not to prove it, he was nervous about the situation; "If I had planned it, it wouldn´t have worked out so well," he thought jokingly.

Trying to relax, he lay down on the bed, turned on the television, and started looking for something to entertain. He found an old Hollywood movie channel; an hour later he was watching The Lost Boys, "one of his favorite movies," when he heard the door open. Marc went straight to the bathroom and closed the door softly. A few seconds later, he heard the water flowing from the shower.

Marc went out to bathe, dressed with underpants, his hair still wet and some drops still slid down his torso. He saw Kay lying on two pillows, very focused on watching television; without saying anything, lay on his back on the bed that was unoccupied very close to him. The space was so small that he could feel the heat emanating from his body.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, breaking the tension between them.

"The lost boys, have you seen it?" Kay answered.

"No ..." he said, shaking his head.

"It's one of the 80's icon vampire movies," "it's one of my favorites," he confessed.

Without saying more, both continued to watch the movie. When it finished, Marc said smiling, "I never imagined you like that kind of movies"; "I liked it". He conceded.

Kay smiled back, imagining that this might be their life together; sharing something as simple as that. He felt a pang of sadness so big that he just said, "Good night, Marc, rest." And turning his back, he tried to fall asleep.

Marc unknowingly had similar feelings than Kay felt. Twenty minutes later he could hear Kay's slow breathing, a sign that he had fallen asleep; taking advantage of the situation he was looking at him for a long time. "He had a perfect face," he told himself as he studied him. Without a frown, he looked even younger; straight nose and perfectly delineated lips. "Scheiße, how easy was to fall in love with you," he whispered wistfully, watching him sleep.

He looked at the clock and decided it was time to go to sleep, so he set the alarm, switched off the light from the lamp and settled on the bed.

He felt the water caressed his naked body, while swimming in the pool; the temperature was perfect; he began to feel the need to breathe but for some strange reason couldn´t rise to the surface, so he tried to accelerate the armful to reach the other edge; the pressure in his lungs from lack of oxygen was increasing as well as the anxiety he felt for not being able to breathe ... He woke up.

Disoriented, he stood still; for a moment he didn´t know where he was but slowly began to remember and it was then when he noticed the heaviness of an arm on his side clinging to his torso. Marc had him cuddling with him; he could feel his quite breathing in his neck.

Slowly he began to feel his penis tighten with excitement. Carefully, he tried to pull away from his embrace, but Marc woke up. Even though it was late, the light from outside lanterns filtered through the window, which allowed them to look each other face to face trying to understand what was happening; meanwhile only the sound of the cicadas through the semi-open window was heard.

Marc didn´t know what it was, whether the situation sui generis they were living or simply stop fighting against what was inevitable. He loved him and finally recognized that Kay felt the same way about him.

Slowly he brought his hand to Kay's face and began to stroke it with the back of his hand first and then with his thumb; it seemed as if he wanted to memorize each of his features.

Kay felt his heart beating rapidly and his excitement growing more and more. Without thinking too much, he brought his lips to his mouth and began to kiss him. Slowly Marc kissed him back and closed his eyes. He slid one of his hands to touch his hair and pulled it. He sucked his lower lip. When he stopped, his breath came out irregularly from his chest. Kay groaned in protest.

Marc couldn´t control the urge to kiss him, first with soft kisses on his neck and then licking his torso until he reached his nipples. He helped him turn, smiling at those sleepy, drunken half-closed eyes. Kay was on the bed with his legs spread apart. Marc got up and grabbed his ankles by pulling him to the edge of the bed; stripped him naked.

He bent his knees and wrapped his arms around Kay's legs and lubricated it with his own saliva. Seconds later he buried himself in it with a single movement. Kay gasped. Marc gasped. He was very tight, but he welcomed him slowly until the testicles. Marc stayed like this for a while to be able to control himself and not ejaculate; he began to move with strong and rough movements. He stepped inside him, smashing their own bodies and clinging more firmly to his legs. He noticed Kay breathing with difficulty as he masturbated; sign that he was about to cum. But he didn´t want him to come yet. Not yet. Marc moaned at the pressure that surrounded him. Kay squeezed him like a fist; He squeezed it and sucked it as if he wanted to have every drop of semen. At that moment Marc could no longer with all the sensations that enfold him and exploded; immediately after a soft moan, Kay did it too.

Once they both caught their breath they stared at each other for a long time; Marc hugged him tightly, tightening against him. He was sure he would never want to part with him again. Kay, in turn, snuggled into his embrace: "Marc, _Ich Liebe Dich_ , I really cannot be without you," he whispered. Marc stroked his back with both hands and then lifted them up to his head to hug him with all the love he could. "I'm not going anywhere," he confessed.


	33. Certainty

**33: Certainty**

**Kay / Marc**

The next morning, they had a hard time getting up since they had slept very few hours the night before. After that first reencounter, they dedicated themselves to sincerely clarifying misunderstandings. They both felt a little cautious about being together again, it seemed no shadow that obscured their relationship. Faithful to their peculiar way of being did not talk too much, just enough to confess their feelings for each other.

After they left the command relatively early, they went to drink a couple of beers in a nearby bar before arriving at the hotel. There, sitting opposite each other, they shared glances of complicity as they watched the people pass by. Again that silence between them was too comfortable; the simple fact of being next to each other was enough to feel complemented.

That week was a decisive in their lives. During the day they worked side by side with the police members of that city in order to resolve the case and have sufficient arguments to go to trial against those criminals; but at night they took advantage of that time to enjoy themselves, after so many lost months.

They came back to Munich on Friday evening; Marc was feeling a bit anxious, perhaps return to reality after a week that seemed like the best of his dreams. He had not yet told Kay that Jörg had looked for him; He was hoping for the best time to do so.

That weekend Jörg had invited Kay to a concert at a bar in the center of Munich; He needed to talk to Marc about it, because he didn´t want to go through another situation like the last one.

They arrived at the Munich airport and went to the parking lot as Kay had left his car there. Once inside, Kay asked smiling, "Your house or mine? – While he started the engine.

"Wherever you want, I don´t care; while we are together, it doesn´t matter the place, "he replied timidly.

"My house is closer" - was his answer, while at full speed was heading there.

During the road they hardly spoke because each one was thinking in their current situation. "This weekend promised only good things," Marc thought. Kay parked the car and was about to get off when Marc grabbed his arm and said, "This time is forever, right?"

Kay smiled as he looked at him and replied, "Forever."

They got out of the car and entered the house, leaving their luggage in the hall, Kay approached Marc and took him by the neck and said: "This past week has been by far the best I've lived and I'm sure it's just the beginning of a life together ".

Saying that, he approached him slowly but still looking into his eyes and kissed him. It was a tender kiss, almost chaste, that left Marc wanting more.

"Do you want to have dinner?" Kay-

"I'm not very hungry, I'd rather have a bath," he said.

"I think that's a good idea," Kay said as they walked up the stairs.

Marc was bathing when he heard the door open, he had soap on his face and while he was in the stream of water to rinse, felt Kay behind him began to soak his torso. There in the shower, they began to caress, without haste, knowing that they had all the time in the world to enjoy the moment.

When they got out of the shower, they went directly to Kay's bedroom. It was a spacious room with a beige laminate floor and a brown carpet that matched perfectly with the King Size bed, which in the center of the room was dressed in a white comforter; on the opposite side there was an armchair on each side to match the rest of the decoration and to complete the picture a large window covered a whole wall from the ceiling to the floor showing a spectacular view into the forest.

Kay slumped onto the soft bed and waved a hand at Marc to follow. This one from a couple of meters of distance threw himself towards the bed and as if they were two teen agers began to throw the pillows while they laughed out loud. Anyone who saw them like that would never imagine that they were two tough guys working at the police by day. They didn´t care, they were happy.

After five minutes of that game and exhausted trying to catch their breath they lay back; It was then Kay took over Marc's lips and began to kiss him, drawing a series of kisses from the corners of his lips to his jaw until he reached the neck.

As he kissed him, Marc closed his eyes, enjoying the caress; Kay suddenly stopped, which made Marc open his eyes; "Look at me," he ordered. Kay got to his knees on the mattress at Marc's face and clumsily pulled the semi-erect penis out of the truss.

"Suck," he said. Make me come, Marc. I want your mouth around me.

Kay threw his head back, buried his fingers in hair´s Marc, and then pushed him against his growing erection. The tip bounced against his lips, but then he moved and forced him to open his lips as he advanced inside his throat.

He was deep inside, pressing and rubbing against his tongue again and again. Kay was behaving much more intensely than usual, and that made Marc very excited. As he continued to give his pleasure, he looked into his eyes and with the hands caressed her buttocks. He slowed the pace and began to suck slowly and without haste.

"The orgasm he was going to feel wasn´t going to be just any other; Marc was going to show him how much he loved him." Marc moved his hand up and down in tune with his mouth. He squeezed and massaged from the base to the tip, and let the glans rubs against his lips before taking it back into his throat.

"Marc, it's amazing what you´re doing to me." Kay moved his hips against his lips and the hot stream of cum that came out filled his mouth. Marc didn´t stop sucking it, he wanted it whole; gave him all his love and attention as he sucked in slow movements, giving up the frenzied pace of before. He licked it from the tip to the testicles; while doing this, Marc looked into his eyes as Kay had asked.

Kay held him in his arms and held him tightly to his chest as his body gasped at the relief Marc had given him.

"I cannot be without you Marc," Kay whispered. Marc stroked his back with his hands and hugged him with devotion.

Twenty minutes later, Kay recovered with a fixed thought in his mind. He wanted to make him his own -never before had it happened- but he wanted Marc to feel how pleasant and pleasurable it could be. He opened the bureau drawer and took out a lubricant, putting a generous amount in his hand; without a word, approached him and looked directly into his eyes, as if to ask his approval. Marc looked at him, his pulse racing. He wanted to try; he wanted to feel Kay inside him. He kissed him in response.

Kay began to stroke the penis, while with the other hand began to slowly move a finger inside his aperture, pushing gently while caressing him again and again to gain little by little more depth. Marc folded his fingers and clenched his fists. He closed his eyes and let out a soft moan from his lips. Marc let out a gasp as he inserted a second finger. Kay immediately caressed him and massaged his buttocks and back to calm him. Seconds later, he drew his fingers and stood against him; little by little he sank himself in Marc until he fully got it.

"Shhh, that's it. Breathe evenly. Don´t fight against me, breathe... He felt Marc panting and gave him a moment to recover, and then Kay began to move. The sensations that this caused to Kay were indescribable, Marc was tight, and he could feel the heat that surrounded him.   After sinking into him a few times, he struck him harder and sank deep inside. Kay looked down and watched as his cock disappeared inside Marc and then reappeared. When suddenly he heard Marc moaning and seeing him as he came, Kay began to explode too; the orgasm began to form, his testicles tightened until he felt himself exploding inside him.

Kay felt like he was flying. No one had ever made him feel so good. He couldn´t even explain it. Marc was simply provoking that. He was his drug; his addiction. One he had no intention of overcoming. He loved him like he never thought he could.

Marc was breathing heavily; he tried to catch his breath; he had had one of the most intense orgasms of his life; watching Kay, he knew that he had found everything he needed.

Kay came over and asked, "Is everything okay?" At the same time he gave him a brief kiss and cradled him in his arms. _"Ich liebe dich"._ He concluded. Marc didn´t say anything, just smiled and settled into Kay's arms.

They both fell into a deep and pleasant sleep.


	34. Promise

**~~~~34: Promise**

**Marc / Kay**

The next morning, they woke up almost half a day with a voracious hunger. "Do you want me to make you breakfast?" He asked Marc as he fumbled for the ingredients in the refrigerator.

"Do you know how to cook?" He laughed.

"Do you doubt it?  You're going to make me change my mind, "he teased.

After breakfast, Kay sat in the couch to read for a while; meanwhile Marc was on the phone talking to Betinna. They agreed that Marc could visit Matthias the following weekend; he couldn´t believe it, after so many months he would finally see his son. He felt happy even though he tried not to fear that something would break that perfect bubble he was in.

Suddenly an idea crossed his mind. He walked to the room where Kay sat on the couch reading comfortably; when he noticed that he was entering the room, Kay left the reading for a moment and motioned for him to sit down beside him. Marc leaned back on his lap and Kay continued to read as he stroked his head.  They spent a good time when Marc suddenly said: "I'm leaving but, I´ll see you later, won´t I? Or do you have something better to do? He asked him jokingly.

Then Kay remembered Jörg's invitation. "Marc, are we together right?"

"Yes, why do you ask? As he said this, he sat up on the couch.

"I just want to be sure of your feelings about me; but most importantly I want you to know that you are the most important thing in my life; that I love you and that I want to have a relationship with you.”  He finished staring at his expression.

Marc in response kissed him quickly; "It's a deal," he said, smiling.

Kay smiled at his response, but suddenly getting serious said: "Marc, tonight Jörg invited me to a bar where he will play and I want you to accompany me as my partner." "What do you say?" He asked, aware of his reaction.

Marc suddenly became serious. "That guy is interested in you; Do you know that he came to the Unity to tell me?” He asked.

"What ...?" It was all he could say; he never imagined that Jörg would do such a thing.

"Last week he came to tell me that if I didn´t do something, he would fight for you ..." "And just remembering it makes me feel sick ...”  He answered sullenly.

"You're jealous ..." He confirmed as he smiled.

"Yes I am; just imagining you with someone else make me feel bad, "he confessed.

Kay changed his face and, showing himself serious, said: "You have me completely; in body and soul". "Between Jörg and me there was never anything remotely close to what you and I have ... you don´t have to doubt it ... for me it's a friend; nothing else". He concluded.

After a moment's thought he replied, "Okay ... let's go. I want that bastard to see that you and I are together. "

"All right ..." Kay agreed.

"Well, I have to go," Marc said as he got up.

Kay looked at him strangely and asked, "And can you tell where are you going on a Saturday?"

"See you at night," he said in response.

After his search on the internet, Marc knew where to turn. So an hour later, he arrived at _Inhorgenta_. He entered the shop where the clerk was already waiting for him; there he gave him a bracelet just like the one he wore. Marc asked that on the back engrave the following sentence: "Breathe evenly; K  & M ". He paid and left the place.

Kay was anxious; he was leaning on the bar while he had a beer and watched people dance. Marc had asked him to send the location of the place since he would arrive directly. "It was half an hour late," Kay thought as he looked at his watch again. Hours before, he'd talked to Jörg and told him what had happened between Marc and him. Even when he noticed a slight disappointment in his eyes, he finally wished him wholeheartedly to be happy. They hugged hard and Kay left.

With all these thoughts hovering in his mind, he ordered another beer. He reflected on the recent events and said that everything would turn out well; however, he felt certain insecurity. He dialed the cell phone and sent it directly to the mailbox. "What if Marc had regretted it?" "It was almost an hour ago and there was no sign of appearing." He had never experienced this before, and feeling vulnerable brought him some discomfort.

As he thought about it, a guy came up and greeted him; he immediately realized what the subject's intentions were, so he decided to ignore it openly. Even so, the stranger was still at his side, trying to talk to him. As he answered the question he had just asked, he saw Marc approaching them with a serious face. 

Marc stepped between the stranger and Kay. Without saying a word, he approached Kay and, as if marking his territory, gave him a brief kiss on the lips as he took him by the neck. The guy looking at them turned and walked away.

That action gave Kay the certainty he needed; this facet of Marc had not seen it before; he never thought how jealous he could become, let alone make such affectionate demonstrations without caring about the people around them. Laughing Kay said, "You see what happens when you leave me alone?

"How funny," he replied.

They enjoyed the music and the atmosphere, while they danced and laughed. Almost at the end, Jörg approached them. "Let's make peace," he said, extending his hand to Marc. For a few seconds Marc didn´t respond, so the moment tensed between the three; but moments later, he returned the greeting.

About four in the morning, they arrived at Kay's house; while he showered, Marc took advantage of the moment and placed the velvet box on the pillow.

When he came out of the bathroom he saw Marc very focused watching the television. At bedtime, he saw the box.

" What is it?" He asked.

"Open it," he replied.

When Kay opened the box and saw a bracelet identical to the one he had given him, he was speechless. He just stared at the bracelet, not knowing what to say.

"Well?" Marc asked. Do you like it? "Look on the back," he continued.

Kay read the sentence next to the initials and smiled. He felt the pulse of a thousand. Without saying a word he approached Marc and stretching his arm, he gestured for it to be buckled.

They were not alliances, however the meaning was the same and both knew it.

 


	35. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to all people in my country who are suffering due to the earthquake. My condolences to all of them. #FuerzaMexico #mexicoestadepie

35: Discovery

Kay / Marc

It had been a year since they decided to share a life together. Many things had happened in that time, "Marc remind as he watched Kay and Matthias.

He came home from work and saw that Kay was lying on his back on the couch, and Matthias, his two-year-old son, lying on Kay's torso was also sleeping peacefully. He took out his cell phone and took a picture because he wanted to keep that memory. On the floor of the room was a whole collection of toys; it was a sign that they had spent all afternoon playing and tiredness had overcome them.

The relationship that Kay formed with Matthias was incredible. The boy adored him and Kay melted every time he came to visit. Marc felt very fortunate to be able to share these kinds of memories with his son. After a while, he and Bettina had agreed to maintain a friendly relationship because of their son; and now the relationship was warm enough to leave her son a weekend every month. She had finally accepted his relationship with Kay; on the other hand, Bettina had met a good guy, she got married and looked happy.

He decided not to wake them up because the next day Kay had to go to work very early; Marc went straight to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Once he was ready, he returned to the living room and tenderly stroked his son's hair. Kay woke up and smiled at him.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Good, it was a heavy day but I'm finally at home."

"It’s good to hear that; we played all afternoon until Matt fell asleep, "he told him.

"Come on, I made dinner." -Marc smiled at the same time".

Kay tenderly spoke to Matthias and the boy slowly woke up. When he saw his father, he threw himself into his arms. Marc hugged him tightly and filled him with countless kisses.

The three of them were at the dinner table and Matt sitting in his special little seat; he was eating with Kay's help. He loved to feed him and play with him at the same time. Marc watched them both while he laughed since the boy was all messed up due to the meal. After dinner, they bathed him, put on his pajamas, and Marc laid him on his bed.

He returned to the room and lay down beside Kay as he read. After a while, Kay left his reading and looked at Marc. _"Ich Liebe Dich,"_ Kay whispered to him as he approached Marc.

" _Ich Liebe Dich mehr_ ," Marc replied, kissing him tenderly on the lips. "Let's watch a movie, shall we?" He asked.

Kay nodded as he said, wrestling him, "Okay, but now it's up to me to pick it."

Both were very careful not to have intercourse when Matthias was with them. They never discussed it, but both preferred to abstain when the child was at home. In the middle of the film, they heard a few steps approaching. Kay got up and saw Matthias in the hallway.

"Hello champion, what are you doing here eh?" He said tenderly as he lifted him in his arms. He returned with him to the bed and handed him to his father. The tiny boy lay down between them and fell asleep. They finished watching the movie and fell asleep too.

On Sunday afternoon they were on their way to Gräfelfing, to hand over Matthias - since Bettina had moved there. The ride was relatively short, about 25 minutes, so while Marc was driving Kay played with the boy in the backseat.

When they arrived at Bettina’s house, her husband Bernard opened the door. "Hi, Bettina is upstairs; now I'll let you know that Matty has arrived. Do you want to come and drink a beer? "He asked them cordially.

Marc looked at Kay and he nodded. "All right, thank you, Bernard," Marc said as they entered. They went straight to the kitchen and Bernard offered them a beer. The three men chatted about the last game of Bayern when Bettina arrived. She was 5 months pregnant and looked radiant.

"Hello," she greeted them with a smile as she took his little boy in her arms and kissed him.

"Hello," Marc said as he approached and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. "You look very good," he said as he twisted his son's hair.

"Hello Kay," Betinna said. Kay walked over to her and kissed her temple.

After a while they said goodbye. Kay approached Matthias and hugged him tightly as he gave him a loving kiss on the head; he changed his face when he was with the child, he couldn´t hide it; the boy was his weakness.

All the way back Marc had noticed Kay very quiet. In that year they had been living together, most of the time it had been incredibly good. At first, it was just a matter of adapting to each other but overall they got along pretty well. The times they had had fights, it was usually out of jealousy. More on Marc's part, he had to admit it, as the magnetism that Kay radiated made that other guys look for him and Kay never did much to get rid of them; He seemed to enjoy Marc´s jealous. It was a game he liked to play.

When they got home, Kay went straight to the kitchen and opened a beer. He went out into the garden and sat on the porch of the entrance.

Kay felt strange, he had some days with a thought fixed in the mind and that couldn´t be removed. As he thought about it, he watched the sunset; Marc sat down beside him and began to drink his beer.

"Is everything all right?" Marc asked, stroking his leg.

 "Perfectly," Kay answered.

So they stayed for a few more minutes; in silence, they drank their respective beers.

"Come on, let's go inside; it’s already refreshing, "Marc said as he got up.

"I'll go in a few minutes," Kay said, staring up at the horizon.

Without saying more, he entered the house. "What happened with Kay?" Marc wondered by making a count of the weekend to try to remember if something was wrong, as Kay seemed annoying and Marc didn´t know why.

Kay was still thinking about his own life. "I have to talk to Marc," he thought as he searched his head for the best way to approach the subject.

"I won´t do it today; I don´t even know how to start so I'll wait for the best time to talk to him.” Kay decided, rising from the porch.

Once inside, he went to the bedroom; saw Marc already lying down watching a television program. He went into the bathroom; there he undressed and went to bathe. He felt tired and his mind unhinged. He wanted to rest and stop thinking about whether or not he was making the best decision.

He stepped out of the shower, put on boxers and entered the bedroom. Marc looked at him warily. _"Scheiße!"_ It was so transparent and Marc knew it so well that he had realized something was up with him. "I would talk to Marc in the next few days, today he really didn´t feel good to touch a delicate subject," he decided nervously.

He lay down beside him, opened the drawer, and took out the book he had been reading; as he started to read, he noticed Marc looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

Marc turned to him and without saying anything began to caress his chin, Kay continued reading without paying much attention. Then Marc decided that he would reclaim his attention with a more intimate caress, so he brought his hand inside Kay's boxers and began to stimulate him.

After a few minutes, Kay left the reading and looked at Marc. He approached him and gave him a brief kiss; again took the book and continued reading. "What´s going on?" Marc asked in a more surly tone than he intended. "What the hell was going on with Kay ...?"

"Nothing, I just feel tired. That's all ... "He answered.

"What the fuck ...!" Marc thought annoyed as he took his hand out of Kay's boxers. It was the first time that something like this happened between them and he didn´t know how to take it. So without saying anything else, he turned his back on him and continued to watch the television.

"Hey, don´t get mad ... it's just that I'm really tired," Kay explained as he placed a brief kiss on his shoulder.

"It's okay," he replied annoyed without turning. "Goodnight".

The next two days went by with similar dynamics. Kay appeared to behave normal, but his mind was definitely somewhere else, and that made Marc a mixture of anguish and annoyance at the same time.

**On the third day, at the end of the workday, Marc was waiting for Kay, when he saw him on the side of the main building, talking to Emma, a companion of the unit.**

They were both very close to each other, and they seemed to be arguing about some delicate subject, she was speaking without looking into his eyes. Suddenly he saw Kay take her both hands and told her something; he made her smile and kisses her on the temple. She turned and walked away, while Kay smiled at her, following the gaze.

Marc felt like he was kicked in the ass. "What the fuck did that mean?" He swallowed with a mixture of jealousy and fear. His tongue was numb with irrational fear. "It was not possible that there was something between the two of them," he said to himself.

He turned and went to the car to wait there. Five minutes later, Kay got into the car without mentioning anything Marc had just witnessed. "Sorry, I was late. Were you waiting for me? "He asked nervously. Marc shook his head and said, "A little while longer, but nothing happens; let's go home".

They made their way back in silence. As Kay drove on the road, Marc felt increasingly annoyed. "What the hell was going on here?" He asked himself without wanting to really know.

When they got home, Marc got out of the car without waiting for Kay. Once inside he decided that he would go running to see if that would improve his mood; went up to the room and put on sports clothes. When he went downstairs with his car keys in his hand, he noticed Kay watching him.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm going to run," he said.

"Okay, we'll see you later," he said, nodding as he lit a cigar and pulled a beer from the refrigerator. He went straight to the living room and sat down on the couch.

Marc looked at him with a puzzled expression but didn´t answer; he just turned and slammed the door. It was the first time that they would not go running together. It was something they always shared and even though he intended to do it alone, he had expected Kay to tell him he would accompany him but didn´t even hint at it. Definitely, something that happened to him but he wouldn´t be the one that would look for him. Kay's attitude upset him.

Kay noticed that Marc was upset, and he knew that he was right. His last-days attitude was not the best and he knew it, but the reality was that he had never been in a situation like that before and he was driving very badly. As he drank his last beer, he told himself that he would talk to Marc when he returned.

Kay was waiting in the living room to talk to him. He felt nervous; he didn´t know what position Marc would take when he told him what he had been planning. It was taking longer than usual; generally, he´d run 10 km, so it should not take more than an hour and a half to be back but it had been two hours since he left and still didn´t return.

Twenty minutes later, he heard the car parked and immediately saw him enter. He wore the hood of his sweatshirt and was drenched in sweat.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Normal," he said shortly as he headed upstairs to shower.

"Marc, can we talk?" He heard him hesitantly

It was then that Marc exploded. "Now you want to talk?" "Aren´t you tired yet?" He reproached him, staring at him.

"Marc, I'm sorry. I know that the attitude I've had these days has been disastrous, I admit it ... "Please excuse me ... can we talk? He asked again, waiting for his answer.

When Marc looked at him, he knew that something serious was going on, he had never seen Kay hesitating and had a hunch that nothing good would come of this talk.

"Tell me, I hear you". He answered with a hollow in his stomach.

"You know that from the first time I met Matthias I felt a very special connection with him; I love your son, I love spending time with him and I'm excited to see the small progresses every time he visits us." -As Kay spoke, he saw Marc's face of surprise-.

"I don´t know what this is about," Marc said sincerely.

"The thing is that it isn´t enough for me ..." "I have thought a lot these last days and I have decided that I want to be a father." "I don´t know how are you going to take it since we never talk about it, I even know it's something I never thought I'd want but the fact of living with Matt made me realize that I really want to have a child."


	36. Dilemma

**36: Dilemma**

**Kay / Marc**

Marc didn´t know what to answer; Kay's confession left him speechless. After a few minutes he was able to react.

"Let's talk about it, Kay." He said. "For a moment I thought you would tell me that you wanted to break up ..." He finished in a whisper.

"What do you say?" Kay looked at him, not believing what he was hearing. "Never ... I'm clear that I love you and that I want to be with you, Marc." "I know that my behavior hasn´t been good enough, but it was because I didn´t know how to tell you, but even more because I didn´t know how you were going to react ..." he concluded, approaching him.

Both men hugged each other tightly. Marc felt a great relief at knowing himself loved; however, Kay's desire to be a father was not yet clear. So he began to bombard him with a series of questions:

"Are you sure?", "Have you thought about when and how you want to do it?", "A surrogate mother ...?"

Kay stared at him before replying, "It wouldn´t be like this; and that's what I want to talk to you about.” "You know Emma and I have forged a good friendship since a few months; she is single and she has the desire to be a mother, so when I talked to her, she proposed to me; I think she could be the mother of my son.” He concluded, looking at him impatiently.

"Marc? What do you think? "Kay urged him back, as Marc stiffened.

"Emma, really?” It was all he could say. He didn´t like that at all.

 Despite knowing perfectly well that Kay didn´t like women at all, he knew, from a good source that Emma was always attracted by Kay. Once, he walked behind her and a friend of hers, when he heard Emma saying, "I assure you that he's gay because he doesn´t know me ... if he did, he would change his mind ..." - while both women laughed and entering to the dressing rooms. At the time it seemed funny, but today after what Kay had revealed this idea seemed unflattering.

Slowly he got up and headed upstairs. "Can we talk later? I want to bathe. "And without saying anything else he went up.

"It didn´t make sense; He understood somehow that Kay wanted to have a child, but include Emma in this made it difficult to understand.”

Kay sat in the living room and covered his face with both hands as he thought about what had just happened. "I had to admit that he had taken it better than he had imagined; but when he explained that he had thought of Emma, Marc had changed his countenance completely.” He thought oddly. He knew Marc didn´t really liked Emma, but he didn´t understand his reaction.

Half an hour later, Kay went into the bedroom, the lights were off, but thanks to the light that filtered through the window, he could see the silhouette of Marc lying on his back. Without speaking, Kay lay down beside him. "Marc, what do you think?" He whispered in his ear.

Even though Kay knew that Marc was awake, he didn´t answer; insisting again he approached him by leaning on one elbow and began to give him brief kisses on his temple. "Marc ..." he said his name as he continued to cover him with soft kisses to his lips. "Marc..." he repeated laughing again and trying to make him smile without success.

As he ignored him, Kay grabbed his hand and carried him to his hard crotch; "Marc ... aren't you going to answer me?" -He asked playfully-. Marc turned to look at him and smiled even though he didn´t want to. "Kay had the ability to make him smile," he admitted reluctantly.

Kay continued with his game and carefully separated his thighs, then lowered the underpants to leave his naked sex within reach of his caresses. He ran a finger over the glans and heard him moan. Kay lowered his head as he smiled and Marc's body tensed, anticipating that first touch.

It was like receiving an electric shock when Kay's tongue finally passed through his glans until he covered him with kisses; his whole body shook in response to his touch. It didn´t matter if they had relationships every month or every three days, the sensations that Kay awakened to him were always just as intense.

Kay played with that sensitive spot over and over again, moving in circles around him and sucking it gently. The desire that Marc felt spread like fire to the other parts of his body. Whenever Kay's tongue caressed him, he made him trembled, brought him closer to the climax until he couldn´t gasp for air.

Suddenly Kay moved and began to leave a moist trail with his tongue until it rose to his lips, where he kissed him with an unrestrained hunger. "Your taste is so fucking addictive that I could taste you like that all night long," he said with a small grunt. Marc, by way of protest, could only emit a few docile gasps.

As Kay sucked his penis again with more dedication, Marc exploded and collapsed completely. The palms of his hands gave in and suddenly Marc found himself lying on his back against the mattress. Then Kay stood over him with a dangerously seductive expression on his face.

He unbuttoned his pants, and placed both Marc's legs on his shoulders to draw him closer to him, pulled out his penis and began to lubricate it with his own fluids, gradually introduced himself into him; softly and slowly at first until he got as deep inside as possible. Even in the gloom, he could feel Marc staring at him, moaning as he lunged at him.

Hearing Marc gasping, he knew that an orgasm was beginning to form again, he withdrew and put his hand around his cock; Kay began to masturbate until he ejaculated on him. His eyes were closed and he could feel his face with the same signs of tension and rigidity that had invaded Marc almost all over his body like an expression of agony. But then he opened them and they glowed with satisfaction. Semen glowed in the light that filtered through the window. Kay sighed as the last spurt came from his erect penis and slowly receded just a step to get up. He returned a few seconds later with a damp cloth and carefully wiped the fluids from Marc's skin. When he finished, he leaned forward and hugged him.

So they stayed, still and hugging each other. "Never doubt how much I love you," Kay whispered into his ear, as he didn´t stop hugging him.

Marc didn´t have the strength to answer him, so he just hugged him and kissed him on the neck. His love for Kay consumed him completely. In a few minutes they both fell asleep.

The light began to seep through the window and Kay woke up. He looked at his left side and saw Marc; in the center of his back he could see that tattoo in the form of a heart in flames that he liked so much; he got closer and kissed him right there. He let him sleep as he got up and dressed. He went downstairs and began to prepare breakfast; almost an hour later he heard Marc enter the kitchen. He had already bathed and was dressed in his police uniform. "He looked fucking attractive," Kay admitted as he walked up to him.

"Morning sleepyhead! I think you overslept, didn´t you?"  -He kissed him quickly on the lips-.

"It´s your fault," he said, trying to be serious, but he couldn´t. "I have to go, I'm late for the station."

"That's why I went down to prepared breakfast; eat something quick before you go, "Kay said.

Marc looked at him and nodded; even after a year, Kay still had those kinds of details and Marc valued them a lot. While they were having breakfast he watched Kay read the newspaper. Despite being able to do it on the IPad, Kay preferred to have it on paper. He always said that reading was one of his greatest hobbies and he had to do it like old people, that is, in a newspaper or a real book and not an electronic one. In spite of being quite innovative in many ways, everything that had relation with the reading preferred to do it like the people of the old guard.

They finished breakfast and Marc said goodbye with a light kiss. "See you at night ..." "What will you do on your day off, pussy?" He said using that affectionate appellation they used to use.

"I agreed to go for lunch with Emma," he replied, watching his reaction. At that moment Kay noticed as Marc stiffened at his response.

Trying to hide his displeasure, he nodded. "See you" -when he turned around he took the car keys and left.

Kay sat at the table, finishing the tea and thinking that they would have to talk about it.

For the rest of the day Marc couldn´t concentrate on his work as he should, since he couldn´t get the subject of Kay's paternity out of his mind; thus, he decided to send Kay a WhatsApp. He didn´t know why, but he felt threatened by that woman.

Sitting at the table at Sophia's - one of his favorite restaurants - he waited for Emma to arrive. They had agreed to meet to talk about the possibility having a baby; when he heard the beep of his phone, he took it out and began to read: "I love you pussy, thank you for a wonderful night." Kay smiled, and just as he was about to answer the message, he felt hands that covered his eyes and heard a voice that said to him: "hello handsome, guess who I am ..."

Kay got up from the table to greet her, and they sat down to chat. The waiter arrived and offered something to drink while Emma kept talking. "That was her, like a whirlwind," Kay thought, as he laughed at the occurrences she told him. The next two hours while Emma was talking, Kay listened and laughed. He really had a good time with that woman. Although it was true that he was not at all attracted physically by her, there was something in her way that pleased him enough. He saw her as a funny girl and a possible future mother for his baby.

"Well?" "Have you talked to Marc at last?" She asked anxiously.

"Yes, I did and he supports me in my decision to be a father," he replied with a smile.

"Well, I'm glad that he supports you; then, shall we?” She asked excitedly.

Kay smiled ... "The reality was that while Marc supported him with the idea of being a father, he was not at all pleased when he mentioned Emma's name." He thought without answering.

 "Kay? Will we do it?” -Insisted-.

"Yes, I want to. In truth, I wish with all my heart to have a son, "he confessed.

"Perfect!" - She smiled and half-jokingly said: "I cannot wait to start practicing ..."

Kay looked at her earnestly. "It's a joke, isn´t it?"

Changing her face, she replied: "The truth is that I have thought about it and about insemination I don´t think it's a good idea ..." "you wouldn´t be cheating Marc with me, since I am neither a competition nor a relationship." "Don´t answer anything now, just think on it ... please," she finished looking at him.

Kay felt the blood go up in his face, he never thought she'd come up with something like that. Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn´t have been able to answer Emma. She had simply left him speechless.

Quickly she got up and gave him a brief kiss, then left.

He left the restaurant and went to the car. Before he start the engine, he checked his phone and remembered Marc's message ... with the chat, he had forgotten to answer; so he decided to dial him, but after three rings he sent it straight to the mailbox. _"Scheiße! ..._ I hope he hasn´t bothered," he thought as he drove home.

Marc was looking at the phone ... Kay had seen the message but hadn´t answered. In that moment, Kay called him but he wasn´t in the mood to talk to him. "I need to control these irrational jealousies," he said as he remembered Emma's words. "He didn´t like the way things were going," he decided.


	37. Catharsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Val for such great ideas to complement this love story!

**37: Catharsis**

**Kay / Marc**

He left work when Alexander found him in the hall. "Hello, Marc, how's it going?" He asked.

"Good, thank you," Marc said, shaking his hand.

"Actually, you don´t look very well, my friend ... would you like to drink a few beers and tell me what's wrong with you?" -

The relationship with Alexander had grown even stronger since he served as Cupid a year ago by reserving the room in Hamburg. He was a good friend and occasionally took advantage of some free weekend to join his teammates including Anne-Alexander's girlfriend- there, they prepared a roast and shared good times together.

"All right, come on," Marc agreed, "thinking he didn´t want to meet Kay at home yet.

They got to the bar and ordered a couple of beers; while they were attended, Alexander asked him: "Well, what is it, why are you looking like shit?

After telling him briefly what happened to Kay, he concluded by saying: "... the truth is that I feel hurt, do you understand what I'm saying? I feel that this important decision should have been taken together, since even though Kay would be the biological father, I would be the father too; we would make a family and it seems that Kay doesn´t see it like this ... I feel that he is leaving me aside.

"I understand you perfectly," Alexander agreed.

"Besides, why the fuck does Kay let himself be influenced by Emma? I don´t know if he didn´t realize it, but it is obvious that she is attracted to him, and the fact of impinging on something so important would mean that he would be bound to her forever ... "Marc finished with a look of fury on his face -.

"Marc, you should talk to Kay and tell him how you feel; both of you make a great couple, I knew it from the first time I saw you, and these kinds of situations are the ones that must learn to get by if you want your relationship to last ... Not always is going to be happiness and in this type of circumstances is where understanding and empathy must prevail, "Alexander advised.

"Yes, I know you're right; but he has fucked me with this situation ... Today he saw her and I don´t know what they agreed ... "" It's not that I feel jealous ... well maybe a little bit, I have to admit it; although I'm sure Kay doesn´t feel any kind of attraction towards her, but it bothers me anyway ... "

At that moment, his cell phone rang. It was the third time in the last two hours. He knew it was him, because all the previous calls he had been diverted. Letting go of the impulse, he again diverted the call. "Fuck you!" He thought.

"I have to pee," he said to Alexander as he got up.

Kay at home looked like a caged lion; he went from one place to another without knowing what to do. He was worried about Marc so he decided to send him a message: "Marc, why don´t you answer? Is everything okay? He sent it and waited.

When he came out of the bathroom, he heard the WhatsApp beep; he read it, but decided not to answer.  He felt really hurt and angry. He returned to the table and continued to chat with Alexander, not only about his problem but about other unimportant issues. It was what he needed, he thought, to relax for a while and try to calm himself. He'd talk to Kay later.

 _"Scheiße!"_ Kay cursed when he saw that Marc had read the message but hadn´t answered. He went into the kitchen, took a beer out of the refrigerator, and leaned against the kitchen counter as he thought of Marc and at the same time recapitulated the conversation he had had with Emma that afternoon. He had to talk to her; because her proposal had not the slightest chance of being.

It was 2 in the morning when he heard a car parked in the doorway; by this time Kay was screwed up; looked out the window and saw Marc getting out of a taxi wobble drunk. "WTF ...!" He hissed as he opened the door. "Who had he been with?" It was the first time Marc had arrived under such conditions and Kay's jealousy didn´t please him at all.

Marc entered the house and ignoring Kay completely went straight to the refrigerator; He got out a beer and started drinking. Kay followed him and rebuked him: "What's wrong with you, huh? Why didn´t you take my calls? You’re so bad you couldn´t even drive ... where did you leave the car and with whom have you been? Kay kept bombarding him with questions; he felt very upset.

"Hey, easy," Marc answered. "Why are you asking me so many questions?" "I went around ... having fun and drinking a few beers; since you were so busy that you couldn´t answer my messages, I decided that I could have fun too ... ". And without giving him an opportunity to respond, he headed for the guests room.

Kay stood in the middle of the kitchen, unable to believe the Marc´s attitud. "Scheiße!" He cursed. Since he did not want to make things worse, he went straight to the room and noticed that Marc was not there, slammed the door and lay down.

He was extremely annoyed ... "When had things become such that bad?" Kay wondered. An hour later the tiredness overcame him.

That night he dreamed of a bar. He was leaning on the bar watching people when something caught their attention. He began to walk towards a couple who was kissing in the middle of the track since one of them seemed terribly familiar; when he got there, he saw that it was Marc who kissed a guy, looked at him as if he didn´t know him. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asked as he pushed him over his chest with both hands. Marc just looked at him and laughed ...

At that moment he woke up ... His forehead was beaded in sweat, and tears streamed down his face. It had been a dream so real that he still woke up feeling as if the heart were going to get out of his chest. He stood up and turned on the tap of the cold water, rinsing his face. "Damn!" That dream had been so real that he was frightened by the deep feelings that awakened in him. "He had never felt as attached to anyone as he was with Marc." He admitted, lying down again trying to sleep.

It was almost noon when he woke; his head was hammering so hard he didn´t even want to open his eyes. _"Scheiße!"_ He had drunk a lot and today he was paying the consequences. After ten minutes at last he got up and went to bathe. He went down to the kitchen and saw Kay sitting down for coffee. He had a face that said everything; "He's upset," he thought. "Good, because I feel the same way." Without speaking, he poured himself a coffee and left the house. He sat on the porch of the front door while he drank his coffee and thought of everything that had happened. He knew that his attitude might be somewhat immature, but the reality was that he didn´t know how to handle it.

Ten minutes later, he heard the door opened behind him, and in a few seconds he saw Kay sit beside him. They both stood there without speaking for what seemed like an eternity. Until Kay broke the silence.

"Marc, we should talk." He said quietly,

"I agree," Marc said.

"I don´t like the direction our relationship is taking in the wake of this parenting issue." "I thought you said you would support me, but your attitude has proven the opposite."

Marc listened to him and was silent ... then he turned to look at him and said: "When Matthias was born it was one of the happiest moments of my life and now that I can see him and live with him I understand how a child changes your life forever "; "Of course I support you, I would love nothing more than to form a family with you and raise your son who would also be mine; just as you've grown fond of Matt, I'm sure I would have the same feelings for that little one, that's why I'd like you to include me in such an important decision. " "The truth is that I feel excluded in this whole matter ..." he finished, waiting for his reaction.

After a few minutes, Kay said: "You're right, I haven´t been able to handle this situation correctly; and seeing it from your perspective now I understand your reaction.” "Help me to do well; I'm also excited about forming a family with you and even if this son won´t be of your blood, I know you would take care of him the same way as you take care of Matt. "

Marc heard him nodded; "Thank you for understanding how I feel; and talking about Emma, it's not that I have anything against her, but I don´t think it's the best decision".  "If we want to have a child and be part of our family, having her biological mother close would involve not only explanations for him but also legal issues that we would have to touch since I suppose she would want to be part of his life." Have you thought about it? "He asked.

Kay was silent for a moment, remembering the conversation he had had with Emma; he didn´t want to confess Emma´s proposal because he wouldn’t want to make matters worse between them. So he just managed to say: "I agree, I think I was rushed making that decision without thinking about the consequences that could lead." "I think the best choice is would be just as you suggested, finding a surrogate mother." He finished at the same time he held his hand.

Marc felt a deep relief. He didn´t think that Kay would have accepted the subject so easily, but it seemed that way and that made him very happy. "Let's do it; when do you want to begin all the procedures that are required. What do you think?-. He asked as he smiled openly.

"I Agree". "I have to talk to Emma to explain the situation." He said to him.


	38. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done!

**38: Chaos**

**Marc / Kay**

After a while, they entered the house. "Marc, after everything that has happened, I completely forgot that this weekend we will have the roast beef, remember?" "And we haven´t bought anything yet ..."

Marc smiled and replied, "I had forgotten it too ... let's go to the supermarket to buy all the things that we will need". "Do you want to...?"

A few hours later they came home with everything they needed. When they finished packing everything in the proper place, Kay proposed, "Let's run pussy."

"Mmmm ... Don´t please, I'm exhausted! Between the hangover and the unveiled, I´m beat; let’s go tomorrow. “Marc said, showing him his best smile, laying down on the sofa.

Kay looked at him and felt like his heart sink. He loved this man with such force that the fact there was the possibility of raising a child, filled him with dreams and hope. He didn´t even conceive the idea of being away from him. "All right, let's stay like veggies all afternoon." As he said this, he lay on the couch, resting his head on Marc's legs.

Marc smiled and began to caress his temple tenderly as he said, "What have you done to me?" "When I´m with you like this, nothing else matters; you make me feel alive, "he confessed.

Kay smiled and said, "Believe me, it's mutual; you have made me change the perspective I had on life, being with you makes me want to be a better person and I am excited to think that we can raise our son. " "And speaking of that, I'll take advantage of the weekend get-together to talk to Emma about it."

Marc smiled and laid a tender kiss on Kay's forehead; in a few minutes the tiredness overcame him and began to snore. Kay took his book and spent the rest of the afternoon reading huddled in his lap.

That Saturday morning they prepared everything to tidy the house and wait for their guests; were about twenty so it had been a rather heavy task. At some point, he took the chance to call his parents.

After a few months, they had finally accepted his lifestyle. "The family union had always been one of the most important pillars since he was a child and now that he had communication with his parents made everything perfect." Marc reflected after hanging up with them.

All he had to do was persuade Kay to try to settle the relationship with his own parents; at some point, he shared how his life was once he confessed to them his sexual inclination. Like Marc's parents, Kay's family was very closed in that regard and they never accepted that their son was gay. They distanced themselves and they had years of not speaking, and that, even if Kay didn´t recognize it, deeply hurt him. "In the near future, he´d encourage Kay to look for his family." He told himself as he went into the kitchen to meet him.

Little by little the house was filled with guests, among them Katherina, the young woman with whom he had forged a good friendship after all. Marc had taken the opportunity to invite her and meet her new boyfriend since this was apparently the chosen one.

After a while, Emma arrived; although he didn´t want to, Marc was a little nervous to see her there knowing that Kay would tell her that he had changed his mind about the pregnancy. He had no idea what her reaction would be.

**In the garden, Alexander was drinking a beer while in an apron he took care of the grill. "I'm almost an expert in cooking as I am with the gun," he joked. "I see you happy Borgmann and that makes me happy," he said to Marc, while he kept him company.**

"I am," he confessed. "I followed your advice and we spoke at length; in the end, it will be a surrogate mother who will help us have our son.”

"I feel so excited for you, the truth is that I didn´t like Emma was the mother, I think she is an unstable woman." And he continued, "And how did she take it?"

"Kay hasn´t told her anything yet; he will take the opportunity to speak with her today. ” Marc confessed.

In the living room, Kay was talking and laughing with the members of his team. He felt calm even though he knew he should talk to Emma; he hoped she would take well. As he thought about it, he heard the bell ring, so he got up and went to the door; laying on the frame was Jörg with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a young man like a rock-star was with him; it seemed he was dating him and looked happy. Both men melted into a brotherly embrace. As a result of the reconciliation with Marc they just met a few times, however, when they met, like this occasion, they took advantage of catching up and enjoying their companionship. The relationship with Marc wasn´t the best, nevertheless, when they saw each other, they greeted cordially.

Soon Emma approached him, "Hello handsome," she said as she kissed him on the cheek very close to the corner of his lips; she was drinking tequila. "Did you think about my proposal?" As she spoke, she sat on the arm of the couch very close to Kay.

"Emma," Kay said in greeting. He felt a little uneasy because he could figure it out was not the first tequila she took; he watched her carefully and could see her eyes glistening because of the alcohol. "Can we talk about it?" He asked, getting up from the chair and leading her toward the kitchen.

"Why so mysterious? Do you want to start now? "She asked, approaching him.

"Emma, listen to me," Kay replied, a little annoyed, pushing her away with both arms. "I think it's not a good idea to keep drinking," he advised.

"Don´t be boring, Kay," she said, pouting as if she were a little girl.

"What I want to tell you it´s important ... I talked to Marc and decided that the best thing for everyone is to use a surrogate mother." "For the sake of the future baby, it would not be convenient to know that his biological mother was close and not living with him ..." "Anyway, I thank you for considering it, but it would not be fair for you either." He finished staring at her to see her reaction.

She changed her face in a second. Of being happy and witty, now she looked serious and very annoying. "But why did you change your mind?" "Did Marc forbid you?" She challenged him. Or did he get jealous when you told him we would do it without an insemination? "She asked him, raising his voice.

"Emma, don´t ... you're acting like an immature woman," Kay told her, scolding her.

Without saying anything else, but with a murderous look, she turned and went out into the kitchen. Kay watched her walk away as he hoped that once she had calmed down, she could begin to understand. _"So ein Mist!_ The truth was that he felt like shit because of for her. "He acknowledged as he poured himself a glass of whiskey and took it with one sip.

The party went on and everything seemed to go smoothly. Marc was looking his friends having a good time and joking between them. At some point in the afternoon, he noticed that Kay was drinking too much, so he approached him and said, _"Meine Liebe_ , calm down, if you keep drinking like that, you're going to finish all the alcohol in the party." "Are you ok?"

"I´m ok, it's just that I felt a little bad for Emma; she didn´t take very well my decision" Kay confessed.

"I get it, but it's no reason to drink so much, don´t you think?" He advised.

"I´m not drinking because of that, I'm having a good time, that's all pussy," Kay answered, kissing him briefly.

Not caring about the people around him, Marc grabbed his chin and returned the kiss deepening that caress, then move away, as Alexander called from the other end of the room. On the way, he collided with Emma, who was quickly leaving the bathroom, apparently without looking where she walked. "Emma, I'm sorry I didn´t see you leave," he said apologetically.

She looked at him and didn´t answer anything, smiling at him, she walked away. "It had been a weird encounter," Marc thought as he reached where Alexander was waiting for him to play the darts with other companions. "Despite her smile, something in her eyes didn´t like him."

"Hey! Borgmann is your turn ... "Alexander yelled, taking him out of his thoughts.

In the evening Katherina seized the sound and connected a karaoke; from then people wouldn´t stop singing, drinking and having fun.

After Alexander´s turn, Marc watched as Kay approached and appropriated the microphone; he asked Kat for a song; after a few seconds, "What you need" from INXS - one of his favorite songs - began to play.

As Kay sang, he kept looking at him. Some friends were singing with Kay, while Marc smiled, feeling the color rise in his face. "It's been a long time since I've seen Kay so happy," Marc thought as he kept his eyes on him. He looked fucking attractive.

When the song was over, Kay came up to him and said, "I sing well, don´t I?" As he laughed. "Come, let's dance pussy ..." He took his hand and pulled him to where other couples were dancing. It felt good dancing with Kay in another place that wasn´t a gay bar, surrounded by friends with no one to bother.

When they finished dancing, they sat next to Kat, Marc hugged her affectionately and began to chat with her; after a while, Kay got up to go to the kitchen. "Shall I get you something to drink?" He asked. They thanked him and Kay walked away. A few seconds later Marc noticed Emma following.

The party continued and after a while, some guests began to say goodbye. It had been about an hour and he hadn´t seen Kay.   He decided to look for him; on his way he found Jörg- "Hello Marc, very good party thank you for inviting us," he said as he raised his beer in gratitude.

"You have nothing to thank, Kay was glad to see you," he answered truthfully. "By the way, I'm looking for him, haven´t you seen him?" He asked.

"It's been a while since I saw him, he was in the kitchen having a drink and talking with a girl." He said.

"Emma ..." Marc said. "Thanks, I'll go get him." Marc entered the kitchen but there was no one there, only found a couple of drinks half-taken. He began to feel uneasy, it was strange that he was not there; where could he have gone? He left there and began to walk the house, looking in the living room, the bathroom and the rest of the rooms without success. He thought of Emma and her attitude hours before, but he quickly shook off that absurd idea of the head. Kay wouldn´t touch her not even with a finger.

He continued on his way up to the top floor, where he started to open doors but he didn´t find him either. "He'll probably be in the garden," Marc thought, reassuring himself. Turning around to go down the stairs, he heard moans coming from his room. "No. No... It couldn´t be. “However, unable to leave without seeing who was on the other side of the door he opened it slowly and was breathless to find what he never wanted to see.

Inside the room, on the bed, Kay was there. And sitting on top of him laid Emma. The impression of seeing that scene left him in shock. The man he trusted was there and she was caressing his torso as they gasped due to the pleasure.

Marc couldn´t look away, watching how Emma brought her mouth to Kay's and kissed him. She devoured him urgently, passionately, while Marc watched as she moved her hips over Kay and he trembled under her movements.

He clenched his fists and his breathing began to accelerate. At that moment nausea seized him and he was aware of how the tears ran down his face because of the great disappointment he was suffering.

Neither of them noticed his presence and Marc wasn´t in a position to make a scene with the rest of the guests still at the house. Stunned, he ran down the stairs, still not believing what he had just witnessed. He couldn´t believe that Kay had betrayed him at his house, in his bed, and with a woman.

"How had it happened? Why had Kay done something like that?" He couldn´t understand...

Blocked by frustration and anger, he watched his friends having fun around him, while Marc just wanted to get out of there. He headed for the garden to take a breath and think, like an automaton, while his heart beat like crazy.

Standing in the middle of the garden, not knowing what to do or even thinking, he heard Jörg say to him;

"What's happening to you?"

Without answering him, he turned and started walking toward the door. He needed to get out of there. Then he noticed that Jörg was holding him by the arm and stopped him.

"What's the matter with you?" "You look very upset, is everything okay with Kay?"

Marc only could say: "He is fucking in our room with Emma ..."


	39. Crisis

**39: Crisis**

**Kay / Marc**

"What do you say ...?" "It cannot be ..." He heard an unbelieving Jörg.

"If you doubt it, you can go up and make sure ..." - he answered dejectedly and then said: "Son of a bitch!" "I cannot believe he did this to me..." Marc's mouth was dry and his tongue felt like it was paper. He didn´t know what feeling was the one that prevailed, whether the anger or the big pain he felt.

"Marc, calm down. I know Kay and I´m completely sure about two things: women don´t fit with Kay at all and second he loves you deeply; I'm sure there must be an explanation. "

"How do you pretend to calm me down?" "Have you ever been fucked like this?" "I don´t want to hear from him again." After a few minutes, he said, "Do me a favor."

"I hear you…"

"Can you stay to say goodbye to the rest of the guests? I cannot stay another minute in this house."

"Don´t go anywhere right now ..." - advised Jörg.

At that moment Alexander appeared with his girlfriend. "Borgmann, here you are ... we are leaving, but I wanted to thank you and Kay for your hospitality ..." When he finished the sentence he saw a disengaged Marc´s face.  "Is everything okay, is there any problem?" He asked.

Jörg looked at Marc and he could only reply: "Alex, can you take me to a hotel that may be in your way? I don´t want to drive now."

"A hotel? What did I miss?" He asked in surprise.

"I'll explain on the way, let's go." And without saying anything else he headed for the exit.

Despite Alexander's insistence that he spend the night at his house, Marc didn´t agree. He wanted to be alone; vent and not talk to anyone. He felt defrauded; in an instant, everything they had built over these months had fucked up. When they arrived at the Pullman, Marc got out of the car, not without first thanking Alexander, while he looked at him affected by what Marc had just told him.

As he climbed the elevator, Kay's images with Emma appeared in his mind again and again. _"Du bist ein Scheiß!"_ He shouted once inside the room. He could not sleep, no matter how hard he tried, he could only roll around in bed; until finally decided to release all the contained feelings and broke down to cry; alone in the hotel room, without anyone listening, he ventured to sleep.

At Unterhaching, Jörg said goodbye the last guest, when he saw Emma coming down from the top floor. She looked at him and without a word, she came out of the house with a malicious smile. He remembered the talk he had with Marc and how he was devastated. Despite not being friends, he felt bad for him because he knew what he was going through. "I still didn´t understand why Kay would have done something like that; he talked to him, he knew him very well and knew that loyalty was something Kay valued a lot, so he didn´t understand his action.

Without thinking twice, he went up into the room and there, lying on the bed, found him deeply asleep. "Kay, wake up! Kay! He yelled as he shook him. Nothing ... no matter how hard he tried, Kay didn´t react. At some point as he moved him again, Kay tried to open his eyes but seconds later fell into a deep sleep. "Was he too drunk? Even if he did, nothing justifies his actions," he decided.

He went down the stairs and explained the situation to Rob; "I'm going to stay here, can you take the car and can I see you tomorrow?" The young rocker man nodded and left. Tired, Jörg went to the guest bedroom and laid down to bed.

The next morning a strong migraine woke him up. He reached for Marc, but only felt the empty space beside him. He got up slowly trying to remember how he got there but didn´t get it, and the headache was so strong that it prevented him from opening his eyes. _"Scheiße!"_ He hissed.

The last thing he remembered was being in the kitchen pouring a few drinks for Marc and Kat when Emma approached him. She had asked for forgiveness because of her behavior and had offered him a drink; they toast for his happiness and for his next paternity. After that, his mind was blank and he couldn´t remember anything else. He went into the bathroom and turned on the water tap, once he had bathed, dressed and went downstairs in search of Marc. He hoped that he wouldn´t be annoyed at having left him alone by dismissing his friends. When he entered the kitchen, he stopped short when he saw Jörg sitting down drinking coffee.

"Did you finally wake up?" He asked with a strange look.

"Jörg, what are you doing here? And where is Marc?" He asked, feeling a shiver.

"Marc is not here. And if I'm here, it's because I really want you asshole, but after what you did last night ... I cannot recognize you, Kay ...”

"What did I do last night? What are you talking about?" "And why Marc is not here, where did he go?" As he spoke, he felt more and more desperate. "The last thing I remember is Emma apologizing for her behavior and from there I no longer remember. What's going on, Jörg? "

"You really don´t remember anything, do you?"

 _"Scheiße!_ No! "He shouted.

"So what happened is that you fucked him up ... you slept with Emma and Marc saw both of you," he said looking at his reaction.

"What are you saying…?"

"Kay, how could you not remember? I can only tell you that Marc was desolate and asked Alexander to take him to a hotel ... He said he didn´t want to know anything about you, "he concluded.

Kay dropped into the nearest chair and put his hands to the head. "It couldn´t be true what he was hearing, it must be a nightmare that he would soon wake up," he pleaded.

"Jörg, I swear I don´t remember anything you're telling me; Emma had to put me something in the drink because I swear I would never have done anything like that in my five senses. " "I need to find Marc ...”

Jörg looked at him and knew he was telling the truth. "Kay calms down ... if what you believe turns out to be true we can take legal action against her; let’s get a blood sample now.

Kay had no head at all. He was desperate; he just knew he needed to see Marc. _"Nein!_ I need to find Marc."

"If you want to have the slightest chance that Marc will listen to you, you must have proof of what you say, so don´t argue and let´s go to the hospital."

Kay knew that Jörg was right, so without any further argument they got into the car and went to the hospital; Jörg drove while Kay leaned in the passenger seat, trying to remember the events of the previous night without success.

Once they were registered they were passed to a cubicle; there a doctor in his white coat began to question him. "According to the report you filled out, you indicate that you think you were drugged, is that correct?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, it is. I only remember talking to that woman when she offered me a drink; after that my mind is blank ...”

Once Kay finished explaining what happened, he informed him that they would do the relevant toxicological tests and that he should return in a couple of days to get a quick HIV test since if he had had relations with that woman and didn´t remember anything, they probably wouldn´t have used protection either. Half an hour later, Jörg and Kay were on their way to the parking lot.

Once in the car, Kay called Alexander. At the second ring, he answered in a tone that made it clear that his call was not pleasant: "Kay, what do you want?"

"Alex, where's Marc? I need to talk to him ... _Bitte._ "

Once convinced him, he gave the address. Kay turned to Jörg and said, "Thank you for helping me and for believing in me; now I need to find Marc.”

"Sure, remember you can always count on me." He gave him a big hug.

He left him in his house and hurried off to the Pullman; he thought about what he would say to Marc when he saw him. It was about noon when he parked the car. He had not dialed it because he knew he wouldn´t take the call, so he decided to go straight to the front desk.

There, a young woman received him. "Hi, I'm looking for Marc Borgmann, he's staying with you."

"Allow me a moment, sir, I will call him ... who do you say you are looking for?"

"Alexander Schmidt," he lied, his stomach churning.

After a few seconds, she hung up the receiver. "Sorry, he doesn´t answer."

"Could you please try again? It's important, "Kay said, feeling more nervous every minute.

She did so and after a few seconds, he heard that she said: "Mr. Borgmann, good afternoon. Here at the reception desk, Mr. Alexander Schmidt is looking for you ... "... right ... I understand, allow me a moment.” As she spoke, she tapped the receiver and said to Kay," Mr. Borgmann says he is not feeling well, he says that he will look for you later ... “she finished.

Kay lowered his voice and said, "Tell him it's important, that I need to see him."

"Mr. Borgmann, I'm sorry, but Mr. Schmidt insists it's important." After listening to his answer, the woman said, "Okay," and hung up.

Kay looked at her anxiously when he heard: "Mr. Borgmann says if you can please go up since he is not in a position to come down now."

"Of course," he replied.

"Room 1703 seventh floor," said the young woman, smiling.

As Kay climbed the elevator, he felt his heart rate racing and an unpleasant sensation in his stomach. Standing in front of the door, he took a deep breath trying to mitigate the nerves. He knocked the door three times and waited.

On the other side, there was the sound of footsteps approaching the door.

When Marc opened the door and saw Kay standing in front of him he felt the heat slowly raise in his face due to the fury.

"What are you doing here?! He snapped, looking at him with subdued anger.

"Marc ... please listen to me ... M _eine Liebe_ ," Kay begged.

You're a son of a bitch! "He shouted as he grabbed him by the shirt and threw him against the wall without Kay doing anything to defend himself. He was about to hit him but he let go and said:

"You hurt me in so many ways ... Get out, our relationship is over" - and taking off his bracelet he threw it.

"Marc, you have to listen to me ... _bitte_ ... I love you ...

"Shut up ... I saw how much you love me; fucking with that woman in our house.” At this moment I hate you ... I hate you for my whole being.

"Don´t say that ..." he whispered shakily. "Listen to me, what happened has an explanation."

"Get out ... I don´t want to hear you." He answered sharply.

"Emma drugged me, she poured something into the drink, because it's the last thing I remember ... this morning when I woke up and Jörg told me what happened, I couldn´t believe it, I do not remember anything that happened ... I swear." He said in a whisper.

He went on, "I went to the hospital to take some toxicology tests and I'll have to come back in a couple of days ..." - at that point, he was unsure of continuing.

For a moment Marc looked at him, listening intently.

"... I have to go back to get an HIV test because given the events the doctor thinks we should rule out that possibility ..." he confessed, staring at him.

Marc felt a chill after hearing him ... When he thought that nothing could be worse, Kay's confession made him trembled. "Is it possible that Kay was telling the truth?" He considered for a moment.

"Go away. At this moment the last thing I want is to see or talk to you; I don´t care if what you say is true or not. I know what I saw…"

Kay saw the resolution in his gaze and knew that nothing he said would make Marc change his mind, at least, at that moment. So he finally said, "I'll leave you to calm down and think about what I said, but we need to talk." "I love you and I won´t stop until I convince you that what I say is true." And turning around, he left the room with his heart broken.

Marc looked at Kay's broad back in defeated posture, and as he left he felt the most miserable man on the face of the earth. He heard the "click" of the door closing and leaned against the wall slowly slid to sit on the carpet, put his fingers to his hair and began to sob. He knew they should talk, but now he didn´t feel able to hold a conversation with Kay without wanting to hit him. Even when he was telling the truth and didn´t remember anything that happened, he couldn´t get out of his mind the image of Kay enjoying that woman.

The rage consumed him, he had given himself in body and soul to Kay thinking until a few hours that he was reciprocated, but now he didn´t know if they could overcome this. That image spinning in his head was totally blinded.

Kay made his way back like an automaton, didn´t know when he arrived; he got out of the Audi and entered the house. He felt a sad mood without Marc there, so he went straight to the guest room and lay down on the bed. He didn´t want to go into his bedroom, without Marc at home and thinking that he had betrayed him even though he didn´t want to ... But if he was sure of anything, he would do everything in his power to fix this disaster; and once he had the toxicological results, he´d do to removed Emma from her position as a minimum. He sighed, tears streaming down his cheeks; he didn´t know how much time passed until the dream overcame him. It was an uneasy dream, but when he woke he looked at the clock on the phone and saw that he had slept all afternoon. The house was dark and from the windows, he could see that the night had fallen. Suddenly he heard the front door open, so his heart began to beat rapidly; no one else had the keys to the house more than Marc. With that thought, he ran down the stairs and then saw him.

He looked scruffy, his clothes wrinkled, and his eye circles as narrow as his own.

"Marc ... you came back." He said in a whisper. "I'm so sorry to have caused you this pain ... but I swear ..."

"Don´t you swear anymore ... I know what I saw."

"It was not me ... my mind was not there, I don´t even remember anything about what happened. You have to believe that of my own free will I would never do something like this ... all I know is that ...”

"You don´t know anything Kay ... you may be telling the truth, but even then you cannot imagine what I felt when I saw you with her. And more because until recently you wanted her as your son's mother ...”

"Marc, forgive me ... _Bitte_ ," Kay begged him.

Marc looked at him furiously, hissing, "How would you feel if I make you the same? I'd look up to whom ..." He did not finish the sentence, as Kay interrupted him abruptly. "Do not say it, don´t even think about it! He shouted, losing his temper.

As Marc felt hurt, he continued: "It would be fair, wouldn´t it? Let me find some man or woman and I let you see us ... "He knew that what he said was only to hurt him because he would hardly dare to do so. He wanted to hurt him, as he had hurt him.

"No ..." Kay murmured, gritting his teeth. "I'd go crazy ..." he confessed, trying to hug him.

"Enough ...!" He yelled as he pushed him hard. Kay couldn´t resist, and he fell down, covering his face.

"Get up ..." Although on the outside sounded indifferent, inside he felt devastated; devastated by himself and to see Kay in that situation. "I only came for some things, but in the next few days I will come to pick up the rest of my belongings since I will go and look for a place to live ..."

Kay felt an irrational fear. Never before he had seen Marc like that, determined to end everything they had; he got up slowly and looked at him in a whisper, "Marc, you cannot be serious ... you cannot leave me." -He begged-.

Marc did not know what to do ... making a decision at the time would only complicate matters. He felt sick imagining a life without Kay, but the anger didn´t allow him to think clearly.

"Let's talk later, at this point I cannot even be in one room with you ..." he confessed as he headed upstairs and began to throw some things into his suitcase, while Kay watched him from the doorway.

Kay couldn´t speak anymore. He felt desolate as he watched Marc climb into Alexander's car - who was waiting for him outside - and noticed as the car left.


	40. Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost... do you really want a happy ending or not?

**40: Wounds**

**Kay**

It had been two weeks since Marc had taken his things out of the house and gone. Two weeks in which Kay wandered like a sleepwalker looking at the empty spaces in the closet and in his life. He hadn´t been able to talk to him even though he tried repeatedly, every time his call had the same fate: the voicemail.

It was Saturday morning and Kay lay on the sofa in the TV room, the house was in complete silence, and only a soft light began to seep through the bedroom window. In his hands was the bracelet that Marc had thrown at the hotel that day, and as he played with it, turning his fingers around, he remembered all the pleasant moments they had lived through that year. Not only did he miss Marc, he also missed being able to spend time with Matthias, that little boy had stolen his heart and not being able to see him caused him great sadness. He looked emaciated because he had lost weight, he had grown the beard, and deep circles under his eyes complete the transformation. From memory he dialed Marc's number just to listen to the familiar voicemail recording; He expected to hear the "beep" to record a message more like he had done in the last ten attempts when he heard a _ **"Sorry but this box mail is full, it isn´t possible to leave a message."**_ Then he threw the cell phone at the carpet and closed his eyes as tears trickled down his cheeks.

Unlike the first time Marc left his life, he didn´t feel able to move on; he didn´t have the strength or the will to do anything. His life during those two weeks was to go to work and return to a disorderly and sad house, just as he felt. Nor had he seen it in the Unit, which seemed strange to him, but after did some questions he knew that he had changed shifts with his direct colleagues just the opposites he had so he would not have to meet.

"The only redeemable thing that happened in those days was the HIV test results since they had been negative, while the toxicological tests, as he had assumed, were positive. Emma had drugged him and although it would be complicated to prove it would do the possible thing so that it received her deserved. She had ruined his life and such that thing wouldn´t stay that way. “He sighed decisively.

**Marc**

Gräfelfing, Saturday nine in the morning.

As he drank coffee, he waited in the kitchen for Betinna to finish packing his little boy's suitcase. That weekend would happen with Matty which gave him something of happiness among so many negative things that overshadowed his life right now.

Two days ago, he had telephoned Jörg since he needed to know the results of Kay's HIV test. Whether or not they were together now, he could not stand for something bad to happen to him. He was able to breathe in relief when Jörg clarified that the tests had been negative, while the toxicological test was conclusive: Kay had been drugged. At last he could see that Kay had told him the truth, but even so each time he thought of him the scene of Emma's image on top of Kay and his face of satisfaction prevented him from turning the page.

The sound of a few steps and the cry of "daddy", returned him to reality. Matthias entered the kitchen followed by Bettina, who carried the things that Marc would take. "Hello champion!" He greeted him as he lifted him in his arms and placed a series of kisses on his neck, which made the little boy not stop laughing. Seeing his son grow up gave him immense tenderness.

"Thanks Bettina, see you tomorrow," he said goodbye giving a brief kiss on the forehead.

"Marc, are you sure you're okay? Because it doesn´t look ... "Betinna replied looking at him questioningly.

"Yes, everything is fine ..." he replied in turn; he wasn´t going to use her as a cloth of tears, that was clear.

"Mmm… And where is Kay? Why didn´t he come? "She questioned, pushing him for an answer. Since long time ago, she had forgiven him and she wanted him to be happy with the direction he had decided to give his life. But she knew Marc so well, she knew something was wrong and she was almost certain that it was because of Kay; the truth is that she felt sorry to see Marc in that mood.

"Bettina ... not now, _bitte_ " Marc asked, looking at her for a long time.

"Ok Marc ... I just hope you can solve whatever it is that has you like this." "Watch Matty and see you tomorrow," she said as she touched his bulging abdomen.

Marc took the diaper and with his little one in his arms left the house. Once he settled him in the baby seat, he got into the car and left. Half an hour later he arrived at the apartment he had rented. Although the place was small, it was well lit and gave a welcoming impression; he had chosen it that way, small and furnished, since nothing more than his clothes had been taken from his house. "From his house ..." he thought automatically feeling a vacuum in his chest. Even if it wasn´t Kay's fault, he felt a deep wound he couldn´t ignore. During these days he had done everything possible to not see him, however, Kay kept dialing him and leaving him voice messages, which he hadn´t heard but hadn´t erased either.

"Do you want to go to the park?" He asked his son trying to imitate a smile.

"Yesh ... parrk, parkk" cried the little one, when suddenly he ran to the only room that the apartment had: "Kaay! Kaay ...! "

The boy looked for him between the room and the kitchen of the apartment and when he couldn´t find him, he began to pout, approached his father and asked: "Kaay ... daddy?"

Seeing his son's reaction made Marc break his heart ... "Kay is not here Matty," was all he could say.

The child began to cry, "I want to play with Kaay."

"Matty ... let's play now and later Kay will come," he lied to his son and the little one began to calm down.

Already in the park they were playing a good while until the boy got tired; Marc spread the blanket he had taken on the grass and leaned back to look at the foliage of the trees. As he stroked his cheek and tickled him, his phone began ringing; it was Alexander talking to see how he was going. As they spoke, Matthias was playing with the hair´s Marc, and without his realizing it, he snatched the phone from him and pressed as many buttons as he could. When Marc took it off he saw that he had hung up the call; when he started to dial to Alex, his phone started to ring: "Alex, sorry but Matty took my phone and accidentally hung up ..." he explained.

"Marc ... do not hang up, please," Kay's voice he heard.

"Kay ..." it was all he could say; it had taken him by surprise to hear his voice. At that moment, listening to Kay's name, Matthias looked closely at his father and began to say, "Kaay? Kaay, daddy? "

"Yes, it's Kay." he replied.

Kay listened to the conversation between Marc and little Matt so he was quick to say, "Can I talk to him, please?"

Marc didn´t answer, gave the phone to his son. "Kay wants to talk to you, Matt."

The little boy lit his face, took the device to his ear and said: "Kaay! Hallo, Kaay "

"Hello Matt," Kay said with a lump in his throat. He knew that if Marc had responded, it had been by mistake, but he was grateful for the confusion, because in addition to talking to him, he could greet the child. "How are you champion? I miss you ... "he said.

"Kaay, will you come and play with me?" The little boy asked.

"Of course I do ... I want to play with you" - he replied in turn.

He listened as the child laughed with emotion as he felt a deep sadness. Seconds later he heard Marc's voice: "Kay we'll talk later ..."

"Marc, don´t...  Don´t hang me. Let me see Matt, I miss him a lot, "he begged.

After a long silence he heard him say, "Okay, he misses you too." Once he gave him the address he hung up. He felt anxious, never expected something like that to happen. "To see Kay was exclusively because of Matt," he told himself convinced.

As he wrote down the address on a piece of paper, he felt a great excitement not only for the chance to see Matthias but also because he could talk to Marc. He got up from the sofa where he had been lying for the last three hours and went to bathe. Once he got dressed he gave a quick look at his reflection and he had to admit how bad he looked. He looked at his watch to see how much time had passed since the call, got into his car and headed there with his heart in a fist.

Marc kept spinning around in the small space in the living room. He was extremely restless and nervous. The fatigue had overcome his son, who leaned on the couch was placidly asleep.

Twenty-five minutes later, he heard the bell ring. He froze for a few seconds, feeling a hollow in his stomach but soon after he reacted and slowly headed for the front door. He opened it to meet Kay. He looked bad; he had dark circles around his eyes, his beard had grown and he had lost weight; yet the deep blue of his eyes still drew him like a magnet.

"Hello ... Marc," he heard him say.

In response, he nodded and stepped aside to let him pass. Kay entered into the apartment; the living room space was very small so the closeness with Marc was tangible. He looked at Matt asleep on the sofa and looked back to where Marc was standing, staring at him.

"The dream beat him," Marc told him.

I'll wait for him to wake up ... thanks for letting me see him. I miss him a lot, "he confessed. Kay stood still not knowing what to do or what to say; he didn´t want to start arguing with Marc. He knew that he was standing on a tightrope and that he could fall at any moment.

On the other hand, Marc had mixed feelings. Seeing him like this, made him uneasy, since he didn´t enjoy watching him suffer at all. However, he still couldn´t take away those images that caused him so much rage. What he was experiencing, he could describe it as a bittersweet feeling because even though he missed him in his bed and in his life, remembering him with her lowered his libido automatically. It was then that he recognized the possessiveness and jealousy that he could feel since he began his relationship with Kay.

Slowly Kay was closing the space between them almost until they brushed and without saying anything he kissed him. It was a shy caress at first, almost afraid that at any moment he would feel Marc's rejection; but it didn´t happen, on the opposite, when he felt Kay's lips on his mouth, without thinking about anything, Marc began to kiss him, roughly, eager for that mouth; he seemed to want to erase the memory of those other lips that had kissed him; he licked over Kay's lips and gradually made that caress deeper, so a groan escaped Kay's throat. They kept kissing for a few minutes, until again the images of that night came to him like a bucket of cold water. Violently, Marc pulled him away. Both of them were breathing hard and Kay's gaze was one of absolute discomfiture.

"No ..." it was all Marc could say.


	41. Transition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone still reading.. I´m sorry!!!  
> Because when I think I'm going to finish another idea crosses my mind ... This is the penultimate chapter ... I hope! :)

**41: Transition**

**Marc / Kay**

"Marc ..." Kay whispered while staring at him.

"I can´t ..." Marc replied, looking away. "I know what happened wasn´t because you wanted to, but I can´t forget the scene I witnessed." "I think what we had was sublime and I won´t deny that I felt devastated when I saw you with her, but at this moment I´m not sure about my feelings." He confessed.

At that moment, Kay thought that what he was feeling could be compared to someone who had been sentenced to death walking through the gibbet. Never in all this time, he had seen Marc as determined to finish things as he was now. Even today, two weeks after what happened, the panorama was gray, despite he had time to calm down and think things a bit more closely, his attitude hadn´t changed. It was true that they had fought before, but Marc had never doubted his feelings for Kay. He felt so bad that it was hard to breathe; because the love he felt for him had grown more and more without him realizing it; he didn´t conceive a life without Marc and without the family he had already dreamed to be...

Without saying a word, he dropped into a nearby chair and couldn´t help himself began to sob like a small child. He felt helpless, with no one to worry about him; he had years of not feeling this sensation, the last time had been when his parents rejected him for who he was and since then, he hadn´t experienced a similar jolt.

Marc looked at him, not knowing what to say. He felt bad for causing this suffering to Kay.

At that moment, Matthias woke up; He stood up from the sofa and looked at Kay. "Kaay!" He said in his sleepy little voice. He got up and walked over him as he looked at him in surprise. "Are you crying? Do you feel bad?" He asked curiously.

Kay wiped his tears with both hands and took a deep breath; he smiled and hugged the boy tightly, feeling even more miserable inside.

"No ... it's just that I'm very happy to see you champion," he said as he kissed him all over the face.

Marc, from where he was standing, watched the tender scene with a twinge of guilt.

At that moment he got up and told the boy: "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be coming back; go figure out what do you want to play, okay?” Matt's face lit up and he started looking for his toys in the suitcase his mother had prepared for him.

Marc looked at his son and could see how pleased he was to have Kay by his side. He felt really bad looking at Kay like that, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forgive him. He didn't know if it was because everything was very recent or if he had really stopped loving him.

Kay went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror; he looked worse than a few hours ago -if that was possible- while washing his face he recalled Marc's words. He wanted to leave, to be in the solitude of his house to be able to vent, but couldn't miss the opportunity to spend time with Matt, since he didn't know when would it be the next time ... "if there was a next time," he thought sadly.

He got out of the bathroom and went to the living room, there without looking at Marc, went directly with the child and began to play with his friction carts. "Daddy, come and play with us," said the boy, looking at his father. Marc came over, smiled at his little boy and sat down on the living room floor. It was a very uncomfortable time for both of them, but the boy didn't notice; he laughed and threw himself into Kay's arms; At times Kay would forget about the situation and enjoy Matt. After a while, when Matthias got bored, he got up and said to them: "movieee, Nemo ... I want to watch Nemo", as he ran to the room and he climbed up to the King Size bed.

Marc got up and put the film on, while Kay picked up the carts and stored them in the suitcase; When he had finished, he entered the room and said, "I'm going little champion, behave yourself well." He walked over and placed a kiss on the top of his head. As an answer, Matty hugged him and said, "Nooo ... come with me" - turning him to sit on the bed.-

Both men looked at each other and Kay replied, "Your dad will stay with you, I have to go to work," he lied. The little boy started pouting, saying, "Nooo, staay with me."

At that moment, as he looked Marc to watch his reaction, Kay replied, "Okay, I'll stay with you watching the movie until you fall asleep, and then I'll go to work, agree?" He asked, smiling at the little boy. The boy nodded and said, "Yess, come, Kaay, lie down with meee," as he stepped aside to give a space.

Kay laid down beside him and began to watch the movie, while the boy laughed Kay watched him closely. He wanted to record all possible expressions in his mind, just in case, it was a long time before he could see him again.

Marc was preparing dinner, and as time passed, he felt more and more confused. He had mixed feelings since his son was very attached to Kay and it hurt because of the situation they were living in. But on the other hand, even though he knew Kay had been drugged, he blamed him for allowing Emma to interfere in their life.

Once dinner was ready, he entered the room and found Kay soundly asleep; besides him, Matt was watching the television. When he saw his father enter, he raised his little index finger and held it to his lips saying "shhh". "Kaay is sleeping dad, don't wake him up, he's tired." His little boy told him. Then he jumped out of bed and took Marc by the hand as he led him into the kitchen.

When they finished dinner, Marc dressed up his little boy in Buzz Lightyear pajamas, helped him brush his teeth, and headed to the bedroom. On the bed, Kay was lying in fetal position snoring gently; by the deep shadows under his eyes, Marc knew he hadn't slept much in the last few days. So he decided to put his son in the middle while he laid down at the other end, just as they used to do when Matty refused to go to his own bed. He decided not to wake him, while an infinite nostalgia invaded his soul.

Suddenly he awoke, disoriented. For a moment he didn't remember where he was until he felt a little hand lying on his torso; he turned his eyes and saw Matthias sleeping peacefully. Beside him, Marc watched him. "Sorry, I fell asleep; I couldn’t sleep well,” he confessed.” I'm leaving, thank you for allowing me to spend time with your son." -As he said this, he began to sit up on the mattress.-

"It's already dawn ... I don´t think it's a good idea to go now; stay here and in the morning then you´ll go ... "-Marc suggested.-

Kay was so tired physically and emotionally that he just nodded and closed his eyes again to fall into a deep sleep.

On the opposite, Marc couldn´t sleep; thanks to the moon's reflection, which filtered through the open curtains, he watched Kay sleep. It hurt in his soul all that was happening and when he really understood what his life would be like without Kay, he knew that love was still intact. It was his wounded pride that kept him from forgetting things.

The smell of coffee woke him up. Kay looked at his watch and saw that it was after ten in the morning; he had slept more than thirteen hours. He got up and went into the bathroom, washed his face and gargled with a mouthwash. When he went out he went into the kitchen and looked at Marc giving Matthias breakfast. "I think I had a late sleep," he said apologetically. "I'm leaving ... thanks again".

"Have a cup of coffee," he said as he poured some into his mug. Kay nodded and sat down in front of him. The next half-hour they had breakfast in silence as Matty painted a coloring book.

When they were done, Kay came over and kissed him. "Now I have to go to work champion; behave well" -he turned around and showing a dejected countenance-" Marc ... I don´t know what else to say, I really hope we can overcome this test and get back together."

Marc was undecided, so he decided to be honest with him. "I need time Kay ... I need to think things and see if I can assimilate everything that has happened."

As he listened, he turned his gaze to Marc to see his expression, he wanted to make sure he hadn't heard anything wrong. When he looked at him, he knew there was still a breath of hope to recover what they used to have. "Take the time you need, I'll be waiting for you," -he assured him without hesitation.-

 **Running over the tartan court, Marc was thinking of Kay; it had been five days since he had been home, and the feeling of emptiness he felt couldn't be taken away with anything; Kay hadn't looked for** him and **had given him the space he had asked for.**

It was Saturday night and Alexander had invited him to a meeting at his house; the odds of finding Kay were high so he was not sure if it was a good idea for him to go. He missed him, he couldn't deny it, but he didn't feel the urge to see him.

He ran back and showered. He put on some pants and leaned back on the bed, looked for the remote control when he opened the bureau drawer and found his bracelet; the one that he had thrown at Kay and that the meaning it had was sort of an alliance. At some point, Kay had left it there. He slammed the drawer's door and changed his mind, and then decided to change his clothes. "I will go to Alex's house".

He rang the doorbell and a few seconds later Alexander opened the door. "How nice that you decided to come to Marc! Come on, what do you want to drink? "-He asked while patting Marc's back.-

As he followed Alexander into the kitchen, he greeted some of his colleagues. After a while he sat on the bar, where people were drinking beer and talking; Marc told him that Kay had been at his house last weekend and that they had agreed to give themselves time.

"I'm glad to hear that, after knowing what Emma did, I feel sorry for Kay and for you. You have a solid relationship and I'd like to see you overcome this test" -he said as he slammed his beer against Marc's.-" By the way, do you know that she is no longer in Unity? After what she did she fled like a coward; requested her transfer to another city ".- He finished.- Marc analyzed what Alexander had just told him. "Too bad, there were a few things I would have liked to tell her," -he thought wryly.-

After a while, the doorbell rang again. From where they were they could see the entrance. Someone opened and Kay appeared; although he still looked as thin as the last time, his beard was trimmed and the dark circles were gone; dressed in jeans and wearing a black leather jacket, he looked extremely attractive.

Marc began to feel anxious, he didn't know what attitude to take. He saw Kay greet the people and noticed how he was walking to the kitchen, when he looked up, their eyes met and Kay's expression softened. "Hallo Alex," -said in a very friendly way-, then he turned towards Marc and asked- "How are you doing mate?" -While looking for a bracelet that he couldn't find on his wrist.

"Good," he said dryly. At that moment, Alex told them: "I'll let you guys alone so you can talk, I'll be with the rest of the guests" - he said smiling and then walked away.-

To break the silence, Marc said: "I knew Emma asked for a transfer ..."

"That's right, I won´t leave it like that anyway. I'll see what I can do about it ..." -Kay informed him and then said hesitantly-," There's a racing car show that opens tomorrow, would you like to join me? "

-Marc looked at him for a long time and finally said-, "All right, let's go."

The night passed between jokes and good talks. Marc spent most of his time with Alex and other colleagues and didn't speak to Kay again. On the other hand, Kay didn't approach either because he didn't want to pressure him, but from time to time looking for him; once, their gazes met and both knew that not only the attraction remained intact, but also the feelings.

Kay hadn't been able to sleep, it seemed that Marc was changing his mind and both could share the next day together. He was thrilled. He had risen very early, and while he was having coffee, he waited until eight o'clock to dial him. "I just wish he hadn't changed his mind".

The insistent sound of the phone woke him up; gropingly began to look for the cell phone, as he pressed the green button to take the call and took the phone to his ear, before he could say anything, he recognized that voice he knew so well: "Hello Marc, are you ready?" -he said in a hesitant tone -.

Marc felt a pang of desire as he felt an erection beginning to form. -Still sleepy, he asked- "What time is it?"

"it´s Eight o'clock in the morning ..." -Kay answered rather uneasily.-

"Pfff ... it´s Sunday. Why so early? -"He asked.-

When they lived together, it was always a pain to get Marc up early on Sundays. According to him, it was the only day he could sleep longer, while Kay, not caring about his complaints, pressed him to run before dawn.

"It's not so early ... it's just that I thought we could go to breakfast before going to the exhibition" - he confessed diminishing the tone of his voice.-

By now Marc had woken up completely, and lying on his back, he secretly enjoyed listening to a hesitant Kay. He wanted to see him, wanted to see that his feelings for him were still intact because if it did, he would only have to learn to forgive and work with the negative feelings that came when he remembered that woman.

"Okay, I'm going to take a shower" -he said.-

Kay smiled, "Perfect, I'll come by in half an hour."

He was finishing to shave when he heard the doorbell; looked at his watch, raised both eyebrows. It had been just half an hour since they had hung up. He went to the door and opened it. There was Kay, wearing a green v-neck t-shirt that made his eyes look like that, a pair of cargo pants and mountain boots completing the outfit.

"Ok, let me put the clothes on. Do you want a coffee?" -he asked- 

"No thanks. I already had one in the morning" -replied nervously-. He felt as if he were on a first date; he felt a twist in his stomach when he saw Marc only with a towel around his waist, some drops of water still slipping down his torso and he had shaving cream on his beard.

"Wait for me, I won´t be late," -Marc said, heading to his room.-

Kay chose a restaurant called _Leib & Seele_, located very close to the English Garden, where they ate breakfast and then went to the expo.

They had a good time admiring the cars and prototypes that were there. When they finished the tour, they went to eat at a _Biergarten_ where Kay ordered two Spaten, Marc, hearing it, could only smile for that little detail, since he knew it was his favorite beer. In that mood they spent the rest of the afternoon, although it was true that there was no physical contact between them, they laughed and shared as if nothing had happened before.

Before dark, they arrived at Marc's apartment, where Kay parked his car in front of the entrance of the building and suddenly they both took a serious attitude. Breaking the silence, he heard Kay say, "Thank you for this day," as he looked at him with that smile he loved so much. Marc smiled weakly as he opened the car door and left.

After this date, there were some others; they started seeing each other almost every weekend, whether alone or with Matt if he was visiting. Slowly the tension disappeared between them and it almost looked the same as it did before. They laughed and chatted with trivialities to deeper things, but neither of them spoke about the separation, nor were there any physical signs of affection between them. It seemed that both of them turned around because they didn't know how to face it.

It had been almost two months since Marc had left the house, and though they often saw each other, it was not quite what Kay wanted. Since the last time he kissed him and Marc refused, he hadn't tried again. That night they were going to a gay bar with Jörg and other friends so he felt a little nervous; it was the first time they had come to this kind of place after they broke up. While he thought about all the things that were happening, he parked the car in front of the apartment building where Marc lived.

He climbed the steps two at a time until he reached the third floor, he hardly ever occupied the elevator; He knocked the door and waited for it to open. After a few minutes without a reply, he insisted. Nothing. It seemed strange to him because they agreed to meet at ten sharp, and his car was outside; he looked at his watch and saw that it marked 10:15 pm, so he decided to call him. After three rings he heard Marc said "Hello, are you there? I'm coming, I'll see you in a minute" - while cutting off the communication.-

Kay, surprised, peered out the window into the street and saw a car parked behind his; Marc went down and opened the door of the copilot, he could see a man burly coming down from the vehicle, he couldn't recognize who that was. Both of them approached and after speaking for a moment, they melted into a hug as Marc stroked the back of the head, seconds later the guy got into the driver's seat and started the car at full speed. "What the fuck!" -Kay thought, feeling the blood slowly rise in his head.- "Who was that guy? Why did they hug?" -Was it possible Marc was dating someone else?" All these questions crossed his mind, feeling more and more helpless since he couldn't claim anything. Not now.-

At that moment the elevator's doors opened and Marc stepped out of it. He looked at Kay in dismay and said, "Sorry, were you waiting much time?"

Kay shook his head, trying to keep his composure. "No, I just got here," -he said seriously.- "Where were you if I could know?"

 "I had to leave," -was all he answered.- "If you wait for me ten minutes, I'll take a shower and then we can go," -he said, looking at him closely.-

Kay could only nod as he followed him inside. Sitting in the living room as he listened to the water tap open, he thought, "Why did he have to bathe?" _"Scheiße!"_  -He said quietly.- At the same time, his mind was chaos and a thousand stupid ideas crossed his mind.

Fifteen minutes later, Marc left the room, smelling like a mixture of soap and lotion. Kay stared at him, trying to figure out what was happening unsuccessfully  "Are we leaving?" -Marc asked, walking toward the door.-

Kay closed the door and cornered him against the door. Without a word, he stared at him and then began to kiss him. He kissed him with a mixture of hunger and fury, he wanted to let him know through that kiss that they belonged together and that despite being in limbo regarding their relationship, he was there, ready to give him everything he could need.

He took him unprepared, never thought to kiss him and while he answered the kiss, he could feel the change of attitude in Kay, it wasn't a weak or fearful kiss, it was a kiss that corroborated the brutal chemistry that existed between them and if they didn't stop, it would be the previous step to finish in bed. But no. He wasn't ready for that. -he thought as he pulled him apart.-

Breathing heavily, they looked at each other. Marc was the first to speak, just to say, "Shall we go?" And then, he opened the door and headed to the elevator.


	42. Debacle

**42: Debacle**

**Kay / Marc**

It had been ten minutes on the way to the bar, and so far neither of them had said a single word; the only thing that could be heard, was the radio.

Kay drove at high speed staring at the road, his mind was spinning like a whirlwind thinking of recent events; "Even before seeing Marc getting off that car everything seemed to walk more or less well, but when Marc decided not to answer his question, he didn´t expect anything good." Kay looked annoyed. At that moment he felt a great impotence, because there had been two months since he had tried by all means to save their relationship, he had no real power towards him. He felt bound by his hands, unable to claim or ask anything; and that kiss, the product of jealousy only made him feel even more disturbed; Kay needed Marc desperately and he didn´t seem to feel the same way.

Marc was absorbed in his thoughts. Even though Kay was over 140 km / hr., he felt calm. In those past couple of months Marc had very clear that his feelings for Kay remained intact but he wasn't prepared to return with him, yet. There was still a hint of anger at what had happened.

As he thought about it, a beep sounded; he took the phone out of his pocket and saw that the message was from Max, Bettina's brother, he told him that he had returned with her and that everything was going well. Two hours earlier they had met in the hospital since Bettina was in labor and Bernard, -her husband-, was out of town. They were with Bettina to keep her company and after a while, Max offered to take him home. They had always got along well and even now that they no longer had any family relationship, their dealings with him were sincere. As he thought about it, he noticed that Kay was very quiet. Marc knew him so well; he knew something was annoying him. "Was it because I was late?" Marc thought when he heard Kay ask him:

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" He wanted to know.

"It's just that I see you're texting with someone ..." Kay said in a sharper tone than he pretended.

At that moment, Marc understood. Kay was jealous...! Of course ... now it all made sense, since he arrived he noticed he was annoyed and that kiss was a way to tell him that he wanted to mark his territory. It was funny ... during their relationship it was always he who jeered and the one who felt insecure when other men tried to approach Kay.

He didn't know if it was immaturity or if it was the anger he still felt because Kay had fucked Emma and that prevented him from forgiving Kay, but decided to continue with that game.

"Everything is fine, much more than good, I would say," Marc replied watching Kay to see his reaction.

Kay pursed his lips as he clutched his hands tightly to the steering wheel; he nodded and turned the music’s volume up. The rest of the journey didn't speak to him again.

It was nearly eleven o'clock when they left the car at the valet parking spot; Kay got out of the car and without waiting for Marc, walked directly towards the entrance. A few meters back, Marc followed, feeling a little sad for prolonging the bad time.

He approached Kay and said, "Shall we go in?"

Kay looked at him, and said, "Let's go"; both entered the place. Once inside Kay went ahead and walked directly to the bar, ordered a beer while he leaned on the bar looking towards the clue. He didn't know how to decipher what he felt, the only thing he was certain was that he felt overwhelmed. He had a great desire to shout at Marc and complain about his attitude; He wanted to erase that stupid smile of which he wasn't responsible ... But he could do nothing about it, because unfortunately there was nothing between them. That feeling of emptiness was becoming more and more familiar and he abhorred it.

Marc came to his side and asked for a scotch, and then began to drink, after a while he said: "Come on, let's look for Jörg", while walking lost among couples that crammed the clue.

 _"Scheiße!"_ Kay hissed, walking behind him.

"Marc! You finally came..." Jörg said greeting. "Where did you leave Kay? Did you two make things right?" He wanted to know.

 _"Nein_... that's what we are doing," he said with a half-smile.

Marc sat down on one of the empty seats, watching Kay approach to the table. He saw him greet Jörg and the young man who accompanied him that night. A few minutes later, Kay sat down on the bench opposite him, and turning his back, he watched the performance that had just begun.

As the night passed and Kay's attitude didn't improve, Marc began to feel annoyed. "Changing the roles caused Marc some satisfaction and even more after what he had to witness, whether or not Kay's fault." Thinking about it, he finished another drink of scotch. He was starting to feel a little dizzy, but he didn't care. He wanted to drink.

At some point he approached Kay and said, "Do you want us to leave? Because it seems like you're not having a good time ...”

Kay looked at him and didn't know what to say, as every second passed he felt more and more pissed, but wouldn't give Marc the pleasure of recognizing it. "No, I'm fine ..." he replied. "Do you want to dance?" He asked, challenging him with his look.

"Come on ... it has been a long time since we did it," Marc replied and walked to the clue.

There they began to dance, Kay's movements were perfect and sensual, while his gaze was hard; Marc watched him drift over the music. Seeing Kay move like this reminded him of those nights of passion in which they gave themselves to each other completely. The chemistry that existed between them was superior to anything else he had felt before, and it seemed that it intensified as time passed.

After a couple of songs, they returned to the table; there, Marc poured himself another glass of scotch and drank it all. Kay, looking at him with a faint gesture, reproached him: "If you keep drinking like that, I'll have to take you out carrying ..."

"What is your problem, Kay?" Marc said, as he poured himself another drink. Hardly Marc lost control of his temper, but between the alcohol and the negative feelings that still remained in him, he had exploded.

Marc got up and went to the baths; he felt rather dizzy, but above all Kay's attitude was sick; he wanted to remind him that everything they were living was his fault. Kay had been responsible for his separation, so he was the least likely to question anything.

As he didn't want to argue again, he left the bathroom and went directly to the bar, there he asked for a glass of water and while he waited for it, a good-looking blond guy approached to him saying: "What are you drinking?"

"I only want water now," Marc said, looking at that guy closely.

"Water will be ..." and addressing the bartender shouted: "Hey! Water for my friend!  While his fingers brushed Marc's arm.

Marc lowered his gaze to where the guy stroked him, then looked up again, raising both eyebrows, but did nothing to stop him. The man, realizing it, drew his face only a few millimeters from Marc's, closing the space between them with a touch of lips.

Seeing that it was taking too long, Kay got up and started looking for him among the people; in the distance he saw him leaned on the bar and next to him a guy stroked his wrist. He started to accelerate his pace, when he saw the guy begin to kiss him and Marc kissed back.

At that moment, anger blinded him. When he reached them Kay grabbed the man by the arm and pulled him away violently. "What the fuck?" He shouted at Marc, as he averted his gaze to confront the other man. The guy was walking straight for Kay when someone else got in his way. It was Jörg, who had seen everything that had happened and had arrived just in time. He took the man from his jacket and said, "You better get lost, if you don't want you to get in trouble ..." The guy looked at them and cursed, he turned and walked away.

Jörg looked at Kay, while Marc tried to stand.

"Kay, come on. I'll head you to the car, "Jörg said, grabbing Marc from the waistband of his trousers and almost carrying him out.

Kay turned and headed to the exit. He didn´t know what feeling was the one that prevailed in him at that moment, he wanted to beat Marc but it contained. He wouldn't make a scene in that place.

Once Jörg helped Marc into the car, he closed the door and circled the vehicle to get to where Kay was. Kay was leaning against the door and his face was pale.

"Kay, calm down ... Marc is extremely drunk, he can barely stand." "I understand that you are upset, but now is not the time to confront him." When Jörg finished, Kay still had the same countenance and lost look.

"I'll call you later," was his reply as he climbed into the car.

Once inside he looked at Marc, who, despite of being drunk, knew perfectly well what had happened. Marc had let himself be carried away by the courage he had, and deep down he wanted to make Kay feel something of what he had experienced when he saw him with Emma. But he felt terrible; once he felt the stranger's lips on him, Marc knew he had made a terrible mistake.

"Kay ... I'm sorry," he whispered. "I got carried away by the rage I had ..." - he didn't finish, since Kay hissed: "I don't want to hear you ..." and skidding the car, he sped off into Marc's apartment.


	43. Undeniable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I hope you can enjoy it like I did.

**43: Undeniable**

**Kay / Marc**

The time it took for them to get to Marc's apartment was two times longer than usual because he drove extremely fast. He wanted to get there as soon as possible to leave him and return home. For a moment, while they were in the bar, he thought to leave him there, but when he saw Marc under those conditions he knew he couldn't do it; although he knew that Jörg wouldn´t allow Marc to do another stupidity that he might regret, he wouldn’t have felt reassured to leave him drunk and alone in that place.

The course of that night had grown worse; first, watching Marc arrive in a car that wasn't his, and caring goodbye to that stranger;  then witnessing that nasty scene in the bar. Although he knew that it didn't compare with what Marc lived when Emma and he had sex.

Kay couldn't control the anger and jealousy he felt when he remembered Marc kissing that stranger. Kay wanted to believe that Marc's behavior was due to the resentment he still felt against him, but at this point he wasn't sure if Marc still loved him with the same intensity as before. People said that love couldn't disappear from one day to another, but by remembering what Kay had experienced in the last two months it was not clear what to think. He felt traveling in an emotional roller coaster.

It was close to four in the morning when Kay parked the car in front of the building where Marc lived; once he turned off the engine, he took off his seat belt and turned to face Marc. He was drunk, resting his head against the window.

"Marc! He shouted at him, shaking him.

Marc tried to sit up but he couldn't.

_"So ein Mist!"_ Kay hit the steering wheel while he trying again to wake up Marc in vain. When he accepted that Marc wouldn't move, he opened the door of the Audi and circled it to open the passenger's door; there he unbuckled the seat belt and shook him to wake him up.

It took about fifteen minutes for them to walk up to their apartment. As he could, Kay pulled the keys from Marc's jacket and opened the door, carried him to his bed and dropped him on the soft mattress. Kay took off Marc's boots and began to undress him. Once he finished, Kay laid Marc on his side to avoid the risk that he might puke; after that Kay exited the room.

Although he wanted to get out of there, he couldn't leave Marc in that situation, so after smoking a cigar on the balcony, he went back into the apartment and lay back on the sofa. He didn't know how many minutes passed, until finally the dream overcame him.

The next morning Marc awoke with a severe headache and a death hangover. He opened the bottle of Tylenol and swallowed two tablets to relieve the pain; he tried to remember how he had gotten to his house but didn't succeed. What he could remember was that kiss with that stranger and Kay's face as he separated them. While he was taking a shower, he thought about the repercussions of the previous night; he knew that his acting hadn't been right, but he wasn't sure how to approach that with Kay. Strictly speaking, he hadn't cheating on him, since there was nothing between them; spite and alcohol were a bad combination and as a result his behavior had exceeded the limits. Thinking of all this, Marc left his room and what was his surprise to find Kay on the sofa. Here was the answer to how he had come to his house ... " _Scheiße!"_ He murmured. Sitting in the adjoining chair, he watched him sleep as he thought he would hardly tire of admiring those almost perfect features. It was about twenty minutes before Kay moved and began to open his eyes, staring at him.

Kay felt someone watching him, so he woke up. When he managed to focus, he saw Marc staring at him. He felt contracted because of the discomfort of the sofa; he sat up and began massaging his neck with one hand while he decided what to do.

"Kay ..." - said Marc very low.

Kay looked at him to hear what he had to say, but Marc remained silent.

"Yes? I hear you, what do you have to tell me? "Kay spoke defiantly. Seeing that the seconds passed and Marc didn't respond, Kay exploded.

"Since you don't want to talk, I'll do it for you Marc and I'll tell you exactly how I feel and what I think about what you did last night." Kay said in a tone that made his discomfort clear.

"During these two months I have tried by all means to redeem myself and to have your forgiveness, and I thought I was accomplishing it until yesterday. I want to believe that what you did was the product of spite and alcohol and not because there are no such feelings that you said you have for me. Kay said, staring at him.

"Kay ... no ..." said Marc, but was interrupted by Kay.

"No ... let me finish," he interrupted dryly as he continued, "I understand that I am not in a position to demand or question you, since you made it very clear that you were not ready yet; but even when I told you to take the time you needed because I would be here, today I tell you that I have changed my mind.” "After last night, I'm not interested in following this kind of test to see how far I stand. If you don't love me anymore then tell me and I promise that I won't look for you again, but if it is not, then overcome once and for all what happened with Emma and move on "; "It's your choice ... I prefer white or black, but not half inks," he concluded, waiting for his reaction.

Marc knew that Kay was right, he couldn't continue to prolong this situation, it wasn't healthy for either of them, but even knowing it, he was silent.

Seeing that Marc didn't respond, he whispered, "I understand ..." and saying this he got up and started walking towards the door.

At that moment, Marc got up and before Kay left, he slammed the door.

"No, wait ... don't go" - asked Marc looking at him sadly. "You're right, Kay. What happened last night has no justification. It isn't the way to fix things and I know that I acted immature, I wanted to punish you for what happened; I wanted you to feel a little of what I felt when I saw you with her, but far from achieving it, I only managed to betray myself and feel unhappy. "He confessed hesitantly.

"Marc, I love you. For me you are the best and most important thing that has happened to me in life and I would really like ... "- he didn't finish, because at that moment Marc hugged him and said:" I love you too... "Kay approached him and closing the space between them began to kiss him while his eyes filled with tears.

Marc responded avidly to that kiss feeling a deep emotion, and although he tried to contain himself couldn't do it since a pair of tears escaped and began to slip by his cheeks.

Their kisses had the salty taste of tears that mingled with each other, prolonging that moment that they would remember all their life.

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Marc took his hand and led him to the bedroom. There they began to undress until they were completely naked; Kay's hands stroked Marc's torso as Marc placed brief kisses on his neck.

They felt so aroused that any touch could make them explode at any moment. Kay lay on his back on the mattress while Marc watched him.

Marc took a deep breath and, coming to Kay, began to lubricate him with his own saliva, and then he placed on top of Kay and encourages the entrance of his body with the tip of his penis while he fixed his hands on either side of his head.

"Guide me," he said to Kay in a hoarse voice. "Wrap me in your hand and put me inside, **_meine liebe_**." "This time I want to do it slowly," he confessed.

Marc noticed Kay's reaction when he heard him say **_"my love."_** Never before he had used some appellation because he thought it cheesy, but at that moment it was born of his soul to call Kay like that.

Kay felt that he could explode at any moment, so he slowly wrapped his hand around Marc's thickness and began to caress him the full length of it, at the same time he placed him just inside his anus. Kay's heart beat a thousand, he felt like a teenager in his first encounter; anxious, excited and about to lose control.

On the other hand Marc, bit his lips in an effort to relax and enjoy every moment to the maximum; I wanted this occasion to be special. -He confessed-.

"Make love to me," Kay whispered. I'm ready, Marc. Come inside, I need you.

Immediately, Marc pushed his hips forward making sure he wasn't too rough for Kay to accommodate him with relative ease. He was incredibly narrower than he remembered, but little by little he opened up to him, enveloping him in a host of sensations he didn't think he could describe.

Marc leaned back and then slid his hands beneath Kay's bottom so he could grab him and place him so that he could get into it much more deeply. He looked down at the image of his cock sliding in and out of Kay, then slid his hands from behind to Kay's legs to wrap them around his body so he could open him much more to gain full access to Kay. As he listened to Kay's gasps mingling with his, he asked, trying to lengthen his control:

"How long do you need?"

"I'm ready," Kay whispered. "But I want you to ..."

"What do you want? Tell me ... "Marc asked in a whisper.

"I want you to kiss me," Kay asked.

Marc came down, resting his forearms, so that his face was just above Kay's with their mouths almost touching. He began to kiss him slowly at first to go deeper into the kiss but suddenly he felt he couldn't take it anymore ... It was the sum of everything: a long abstinence, an incredible reconciliation, confessed love, forgiveness...

"Kay, are you ready?" He asked, panting as he parted his lips from his.

"I'm about to come, Marc; I've been waiting for too long.” Kay confessed, looking at him without losing sight of each of his gestures.

"Once I continue, I won't be able to stop, and I want to make sure that we end up together," Marc confessed, smiling, as he left Kay enjoying the sensual sliding of his flesh against his, then sinking back into Kay. Little by little Marc was increasing the speed and to do it with more strength. Marc had a long time not feeling something as sublime as what he was experiencing right now. He loved this man, more than he could bear.

The moans escaped both, losing all notions of time and space, while an agonizing pleasure consumed them. Almost before he finished, Marc pushed him so hard that the bed creaked; it seemed that he wanted to make Kay remember this moment forever; that feeling of possessiveness that Marc had never experienced before, now overflowed completely, wanting Kay to know that he belonged to him in soul and body.

Necessity ran through Kay from head to toe. Hardly, the orgasm grew in his crotch, concentrating first on his testicles, and then ejaculating forcefully into the space between them.

"Marc ..." Kay whispered almost with a groan.

Looking at him with intensity, Marc said, "You're mine Kay; only mine".

Marc's words strengthened his orgasm so he began to move uncontrollably. It had been a total and complete agony of time away from Marc. He was completely sated and satisfied.

Marc in turn, dropped on Kay as he was not able to continue bearing his own weight. Marc gasped for oxygen, and with trembling hands he caressed Kay's face. After a while, they stood still, enjoying the sensations of their sweaty bodies. Minutes later, Marc kissed him with love and Kay responded with the same intensity.

"This time it was different ..." - confessed Kay showing a cocky smile.

"It was **_meine liebe_** ..." - said Marc smiling and cuddling in the bed with Kay in his arms, as they both fell into a deep sleep.


	44. Sublime

44: **Sublime**

**Marc / Kay**

Marc was the first to wake up because his arm was numb from Kay's weight. Slowly, he released Kay from his embrace but remained motionless watching him sleep. He felt satisfied and calm. He had a long time not feeling this way. Since they had separated, he constantly felt a feeling of emptiness that he couldn't beat.

The cold awoke him. Kay couldn't feel the heat emanating from Marc's body that made him open his eyes. In front of him, Marc watched him with a look he would never forget. He was always aware of the chemistry between them, but what had happened hours earlier far surpassed any previous encounter. Although the sexual relations between them were magnificent, Marc hadn't yet shown that sweetness and consideration that completely crammed him. He loved him as he had never thought; he was clear that Marc was the man of his life.

"Hello, sleepyhead," Marc said in greeting.

Kay smiled and coming closer to him, he touched his lips slowly. "Hello pussy," he said, showing that cocky smile that characterized him.

Suddenly, Kay remembered the man who Marc had hugged outside his apartment and changed his expression, asking, "By the way, who was the man who yesterday brought you? Because you were very gentle with him"

"Of course, Kay had seen them ... that's why last night's attitude," Marc thought, smiling mischievously. "Are you jealous?" He asked mockingly.

"It isn't funny, who is he then?" Kay answered seriously.

"Calm down...  is Max, Bettina's brother. We met yesterday at the hospital, because her baby was born and Max offered to bring me home”. -He confessed, smiling.

Kay smiled relieved and said, "Of course I wasn't jealous ... well, just a little bit." And he continued: "Marc, you know that I love you and I couldn't bear to separate from you again." He admitted timidly.

Marc smiled openly and in turn confessed, "You're lucky that I'm madly in love with you and believe me, when I tell you that I have no eyes for anyone other than you, pussy."

Kay closed the space between them and looking into his eyes, he kissed him. He felt grateful and extremely happy.

After a while of exchanging caresses, Kay stepped aside and said, "Let's get up, because if not, we'll stay in bed all afternoon and we won't be able to visit Bettina; we should go and give her a gift, don't you think?"

"Yes, she will please to see you." "Come on, let's go ..." he suggested.

"I think it’s okay, now what I want is to eat something... let's go to a restaurant and from there we'll go to the hospital."

They arrived at the hospital a couple of hours later; Kay had insisted on buying a huge teddy for the baby, but at the end Marc was able to dissuade him. Either way he bought a friction patrol to give it to Matthias the next time he saw him. Marc could see how excited Kay was about getting to know the baby, which reminded him of Kay's desire to become a father; but he let that thought pass. "It wasn't a good time to think about it." -He decided-.

They knocked on the door of the room and Bernard appeared with a smile from ear to ear. He had had to leave for an emergency issue because his job and had lost the birth of his first-born, but as soon as he knew about it, he took the first flight to be with them.

"Thanks Marc, I know that Max and you accompanied Bettina." He shook hands with him.

Marc and Kay approached the bed where Bettina was resting and beside her was a tiny baby sleeping. Kay's face said it all; he was excited to stare at the little one.

"Bettina: congratulations! Kay said giving him a brief kiss on the forehead, while Marc watched them smiling a few feet behind.

"Kay! It's good to see you... I don't know what happened between you and Marc these weeks, but Marc was intractable ... "- she confessed smiling.

Marc just rolled his eyes and walked over to them. "Bettina, you couldn't keep it to yourself, could you? He asked her, stroking her affectionately. And what about Matty? He asked.

"Matt is with Frank and Claudia," Bettina explained. "They picked up Matt from yesterday and they are staying in our house, surely it will be nice to see them if you can come by and say hello."

Since Marc had moved to Munich he hadn't spoken to Frank. He was a good friend and it would be happy to see him. "It's a good idea, thank you for letting me know," Marc thanked.

They had a good time with the couple and when the baby woke up, Kay wanted to hold the little baby; he was so entranced that he paid no attention to anyone else. Marc didn't go unnoticed by that action.

They left the hospital and when Marc got to the car, Kay asked him to drive because he was tired. He sat down on the seat and reclined it.

"Don't you mind if I fall asleep for a moment?"

"Not at all, rest; I'll wake you up when we get there." Marc answered.

When he parked the car in front of his apartment, Kay was snoring softly. Marc took off his seat belt and moved Kay gently. "Hey, we arrived."

Kay woke up and seeing where they were, he turned to Marc and said, "I thought we were going home; I haven't changed my clothes since yesterday ...”

At that moment, Marc tensed, but the change was so imperceptible that Kay didn't notice. "You can wear my clothes or wear nothing ..." he answered with a laugh.

"Okay," Kay smiled as they got out of the car and headed into the building.

The next morning Kay got up very early to go running. He tried to convince Marc to accompany him but it was in vain. Lying face down, Marc put the pillow over his head as he said to Kay: "It's Sunday ... let me sleep a little more."

Kay didn't insist; he sat down on the edge of the bed and laid a soft kiss on Marc's temple, then put on the shoes he had taken from Marc's closet; while he did, he remembered the bracelet he'd left on the desk weeks ago. He looked out of the corner of his eye at Marc who was still asleep and then, opened the drawer; in a corner was a bracelet identical to the one he wore. He took it in his fingers and put it in the pocket of his pants as he left the room.

He was already on the third lap to the circuit, running at a brisk pace while doing a count of the last months. After the storm it seemed that fate was smiling to them and everything was back to normal. He thought gratefully.

He was already walking back to the apartment when his phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and Marc's bracelet fell to the floor as he picked it up, looked at the screen to see who was calling, and read: Emma.

"How dare she call him, after what she had done?" He asked, puzzled as he answered.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

 ** _"Kay ... I know you must be very upset about what I did ..."_** he heard the woman on the other side of the line.

"Do you think so?" Kay answered sarcastically.

 ** _"I wouldn't call you, if it weren't important ... I know what I did was wrong and that you may not be interested to know, but I think I have the duty to tell you ... I'm pregnant ..."_ ** she finished in a whisper.

Kay froze. He heard a sharp whistle and felt his pulse quicken. "What are you saying?! _Du bist ein Wichser!_ "He shouted.

 ** _"When you get to calm down, we'll talk."_** After that, she hung up.

It seemed that he had been stuck on the pavement, didn't know what to think or what to do after that news. At that moment, he remembered Marc and the blood froze him.


	45. Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone still reading... I want to apologize, because I know there are many mistakes in this chapter. :(

**45: Test**

**Kay / Marc**

He didn't know how long he stood outside the building. Only in his mind could hear Emma's words again and again. "I'm pregnant," she had assured.

"How was it possible that something like this happened? It seemed that it had taken more time to declare that everything would go well so that everything would collapse immediately." "Now what? How would I tell Marc? And what was worse, how would he take it?" His mind was a whirlwind of questions, all of these without any response.

The sound of the phone took him out of his trance. Kay felt his stomach twitch at the thought that it might be Emma again. He picked up the phone, -which he still held in his hands, and saw that it was Marc.

 _"Gott!"_ He hissed, feeling a hollow in his stomach as he answered the call.

"Kay? Why do you take so long, pussy? He heard loving Marc saying: "I felt bad for not accompanying you, so I made you breakfast ... Are you coming?" He asked quietly.

"Marc ... yes, I'm already coming". He pointed, hanging out the phone.

Like a somnambulist entered the elevator, upon reaching the door, he took a deep breath for a moment, his hands trembling open. Not even the smell of coffee and pancakes could whet his appetite. He felt fear gripped in his throat and he didn't know how to act.

Marc was in the kitchen wearing a cooking apron. He smiled, but when he saw Kay enter the kitchen, he knew something wasn't right. He knew him perfectly and had that look of when something worried him. "What's the matter?" He wanted to know.

Kay only managed to shake his head and smile. "Nothing, why do you ask?"

"Because I know you, and I see something worries you ..." Marc insisted.

"It's nothing, I remembered a pending issue of the work that I have to solve" he lied.

"If you say so ..." "Come on, sit down and have breakfast" He pointed, not quite convinced.

They had breakfast in silence because no matter how much Marc tried to talk to Kay, he only managed to get a couple of monosyllables. When they were finished, Kay began to lift the dishes from the table, while saying: "I have to pick up now, because you've made breakfast ..."

Raising his eyebrows in astonishment, Marc mocked, "How long are you here so helpful? Is that really you?  Kay?" He teased.

Kay just smiled and shaking his head began to wash the dishes. Marc came up to him and hugging him from behind began a series of kisses from the temple to the neck, making him tremble with his incipient beard. "Okay, I'm not going to object ... but I can stay here to keep you company ... if you want ..."

Kay tried to suppress his laughter, and when he could no longer bear that torment, he took a glass and filled it with water, and then threw it to Marc.

 _"Zum Kuckuck!"_ shouted Marc as he laughed and wet Kay too. They both got caught up in a game that ended with the kitchen soaking wet and the two struggling on the floor. Marc straddled Kay, breathing hard because of the laughter and the struggle. Once both could control, Marc weakened a moment when the desire prevailed of him; Kay didn't go unnoticed because underneath him he could feel Marc's erection growing against his body.

Forgetting for a moment the problem that was coming, Kay took Marc from the neck and began to kiss him. He wanted to show him how much he needed him. Suddenly he made a turn to place himself on Marc, and opening the buttons of his shirt began to cover Marc's torso with kisses. It was a way of momentarily forgetting what was hurting him since he couldn't confess what was happening. At least not now.

"Wow, wow, wow ..." "If you continue to kiss me like that, we'll end up in bed and I won't let you go ..." Marc said even more excitedly.

Neither of them bothered to be drenched on the cold tile, all that mattered was to continue with that game; they had spent a lot of time in abstinence and one encounter wasn't enough to feel satiated one of the other. Kay paused for a moment and looked at Marc with an infinite tenderness; he got up and helped him, leading him into the room.

Once in the bedroom Kay undressed and slowly began to do the same with Marc, when he wanted to incorporate, Kay stopped him and asked: "Let me make you feel how much I love you and how much I need you." Marc obeyed and lay still on the bed, watching as Kay stripped the rest of his clothes until he was completely naked.

Once Kay finished with that task, he delighted looking at Marc from head to toe; it seemed as if within him he feared that once he had confessed to Marc what had happened, he would end up moving away from him, so he desperately needed to hoard all possible memories. The only thing he could say was: "Marc, don't ever leave me ... _bitte"_.

Marc couldn't keep his eyes on him due to the emotion-filled him since the way Kay had spoken to him. He could feel the love that Kay felt, but there was something else about him that he couldn't decipher. He looked at him and thought he saw a hint of sadness on Kay's face ... "Why do you tell me that? I will never leave you ... I promise," he answered hoarsely.

Kay smiled faintly, then opened the desk drawer and took out the lubricant, leaving it to one side, while with both hands began to caress Marc's bottom. A feeling of possession filled him, he wanted Marc to surrender to him and accept that he was his own, just as Kay had done before. Because of this though, the excitement pierced Kay fiercely to make his limb began to grow.

Without saying anything else, Kay slipped his fingers over Marc's glans, checking how ablaze he was. He opened the bottle and lubricated his fingers, slowly sinking into Marc, as he watched his reaction. Marc moaned with pleasure, while he reflexively squeezed his buttocks. Kay started to kiss him and then asked him: "Don't squeeze ... relax and let me in". His flesh was soft and little by little he was more than ready to receive him, but even so, Kay restrained himself, wanted to prolong his pleasure.

Marc moaned at Kay's sensations, moving against his fingers and looking for them with eagerness when Kay finally pulled them back. He caressed him more deeply, assessing the smooth walls and looking for that spot where he knew Marc would explode when he found it, he heard Marc scream. Kay, smiling with lust, knew Marc was more than ready, and he was dying to be inside.

Gripping his penis with one hand, he lubricated himself and slowly inserted into Marc, inch by inch, until both were vibrating in need. When he was completely inside him, Marc let out a ragged snort that Kay felt deep in his soul. He felt the need to bring him to that uncertainty that filled his mind. Marc was the only person with whom Kay wanted to share everything, he wanted him to know what was troubling him, and he wished with all his heart that Marc would support him.

Kay leaned forward to cover him with his body as he continued to sink into him. He withdrew slowly to get into him again; he wasn't ready to leave his narrow heat. Not yet. He rammed him over and over again, trying to control the emotions that burned him in order not to lose control, but he was so tightly attached to his cock that he knew he couldn't take much more.

"Is it too much?" Kay whispered.

"Don't ... don't stop," Marc said.

His hips banged against Marc's body. Marc's panting rang in his ears, mingling with him. At the same time, both exploded. The scream he let go, ran through the room as Marc's body bobbed around his. Kay closed his eyes and pushed himself to the side of him as he breathed hard from the effort.

He had never felt this way before. Each encounter was better than the last. They lay side by side, who knows for how long. "You're my whole life, Marc," he murmured. "You're my drug and I need you completely to be happy..." Kay confessed quietly.

Marc felt full and completely exhausted; He turned to Kay and looked longingly at those blue eyes that had captivated him from the first time, he confessed: _"Ich Liebe Dich von Ganzem Herzen."_

They spent all day lounging in front of the TV. Marc slept sometimes, while Kay had his mind in chaos. It was already dark, and Kay watched Marc sleep. He had never been so afraid of losing him as he was now, he needed to talk to him and tell him what he was living even when an irrational fear stopped him.

Marc woke up, but he was so tired that he didn't move; he enjoyed the feel of the sheets against his skin and the warmth emanating from Kay's body. At that moment, he heard Kay's voice telling him how much he loved him. It seemed to him a very sweet gesture when suddenly he heard something else: "Marc, I hope you can understand me ... I would go crazy if I lost you ..." After that confession, his blood froze. Kay was definitely hiding something from him and from what he understood it was serious. He decided to wait, but Kay didn't speak anymore, only felt him caress his back. They spent the night struggling with their own demons.

The next morning, Marc sat on the bed; still thinking about the words Kay had told him when he thought he was asleep. Minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Kay came out with a towel at his waist. He had showered and looked at Marc and said, "Good morning, did you sleep well?"

Marc looked at him, trying to peer into his mind, without success. "I've slept like a dormouse," he said with reserve.

"Yes, I heard you snore; don't you see my eye bags?" Kay asked, trying to tease. "Lend me some clothes, I'm going to go home for my uniform and from there I'll go to Unity," he warned.

Actually, what Kay wanted to do was try to sort out his thoughts. He had to talk to Marc as soon as possible, but he didn't know how. Slowly Marc rose and before entering the bathroom he said: "Sure, take whatever you need; I'll see you later in Unity." He was about to close the shower door, when Kay approached him, unable to hide the sadness in his eyes, he gave a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'll see you in a while, pussy" - and walking to the door, he left.

Marc was astonished; something had definitely happened to him, but Kay seemed to have no intention of being honest with him. The uneasiness he began to feel caused him great anguish. _"Scheiße! Was passiert jetzt?_ ". He murmured as he entered the shower.

All afternoon Marc was in a bad mood. Kay had left him thinking a thousand stupid things; "What could be so bad for Kay to think he could abandon him?" He speculated in annoyance. The fact of resuming their relationship like this, it caused nervousness to him, since although it was clear that he loved him, the fact that Kay hid things to him made him feel like sailing to the drift.

And on the other hand, there was also the fact that he didn't want to return to live in his house. Thinking about sleeping in the same bed where he had seen Emma having relations with Kay made him nauseous, but he hadn't wanted to address the issue yet.

Kay had been sitting in his office for a long time, dealing with the problem. He felt himself between the sword and the wall; once he managed to assimilate the news, he weighed his options. On the one hand, imagining that he would be a father filled him with joy; it was something bigger than him -even if Emma was the mother- he felt such emotion that he didn't know how to describe it. But on the other hand, explaining to Marc what he had just discovered, made him paralyzed because he didn't know how he would react.

At mealtime, Marc sent WhatsApp to Kay asking if they would eat together. Almost immediately he received the reply. He told him that he had a lot of work and he would reach him later.

"What the fuck was going on?" Marc complained mentally as he played with the plate of food while listening to the rest of his teammates discussing Bayern's past game. At that moment he felt the touch on his shoulder and without turning he knew it was Kay.

Kay sat down next to Marc and, looking at him, he noticed that Marc was annoyed, so his mind began to make thousands of conjectures, including thinking that Emma had spoken to him. "It couldn't be," Kay thought, his forehead beaded with perspiration. Anyway, he knew he had to tell him. If Marc found out about someone other than him, he would feel cheated and if there was any chance he understood, he would be losing it with his omission.

They finished eating and each returned to their activities. By the end of the day, Kay was smoking and waiting for Marc. He felt nervous but hoped he would support him in the decision he had made. From the time he knew, he studied all the possible alternatives and came to the conclusion of doing everything possible to be a father to that son who wasn't to blame for anything.

He thought of all this when he saw Marc going to his car so that before he arrived he intercepted him. "Marc, can we talk?" He said nervously.

Marc looked at him and knew Kay was going to tell him what was going on. "Let's talk," he agreed.

"Can we go home and talk calmly?" He asked.

At that moment, Marc was waging an inner battle, although he wanted to talk to Kay and know what was going on, he didn't know if he would be able to return to that house. After a few seconds of meditating, he admitted that the love he felt for Kay, was stronger than the memory of Emma with him.

"Okay, I'll see you there." He stepped up and got into his car.

Kay made his way home with his heart pounding. Once again, he saw an uncertain future and that caused him great anxiety. When he got home, he saw Marc's red BMW already parked. He got out and approached the vehicle. Marc was still inside.

Marc was anxious, he didn´t know if it was because to listen what Kay wanted to say or to be outside that house again. It was true that they had lived many good things, but what had happened tarnished all those memories.

As he thought about it, he glanced in the rearview mirror at Kay as he approached the car. Seconds later, he tapped the window with his knuckles. Marc lowered the glass and heard Kay ask, "What are you doing here? You still have your key, right? Why didn't you wait for me inside? "

Without answering, Marc got out of the car and together walked for the door. Once inside, Marc went straight to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator took a beer. "Ok, what's going on?" He asked.

Kay looked down and, without thinking, said, "Yesterday I received a call from Emma telling me that she is pregnant ..." As Kay confessed, he kept watching him for his reaction.

Marc was stunned. From everything he imagined, it never crossed his mind to hear such news.

"Tell me what you think Marc ... please." "I need to know that you will be with me by supporting this decision ..." Kay asked.

"What decision? Have you already had one? "He asked earnestly.

"Yeah, I already did Marc ... you know we talked about studying the option of a surrogate mother, but I can’t close my eyes and pretend like this is not happening. I couldn't leave my son to drift ... "Kay confessed. "I really hope you understand me and support me because I couldn't do it without you ..." he concluded.

Marc didn't know what to think ... The news had crammed him ... He sat in the nearest chair and began to size the consequences and how this would change their lives from now on ...

After several minutes of silence, Marc looked at him and said: "Kay, I don't know what to tell you ..." "I was hoping you would tell me anything but this." "Have you thought about how this situation will change our lives?" "And what about her?  Has she decided to have the baby?" "What role will you play in all this?" - One after another, Marc bombed him of questions-.

"Marc, I don't know ... I haven't talked to her after she gave me the news, I just thought about how I'd tell you and what your reaction would be." Kay answered.

To Kay's surprise, Marc looked at him and confessed: "It's true that none of this was planned and that just thinking about having to deal with that woman makes me sick." "But I also have clear what it means for you to have a child and no matter what happened, I will support you." "I don't want you to go through all this alone." And he went on: "And you know why? Because I love you…"

Kay couldn't believe what Marc was saying. He was so afraid of a negative reaction that hearing him speak like that had moved him deeply. With glassy eyes, he hugged him deeply and said in his ear, "Thank you ... you really have no idea how your words comfort me."

At that moment, he took out the bracelet he had been saving and looking at Marc asked: "Would you do me the favor of using it again ... It means a lot to me"

Marc looked at the bracelet, then at Kay. He knew there would be complicated months, but he didn't care. As long as they were together, everything would go well. He lifted his wrist and looking at Kay, said, "Put it on me, please ..."


	46. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little one...

**46: Revelation**

**Kay / Marc**

It had only been a week since he'd confessed to Marc about Emma's pregnancy. Although Marc gave him unconditional support, Kay felt that something wasn't right. Even though it was true that as soon as he told him, all the accumulated stress had dissipated as if by magic; there was something in Marc's attitude that he couldn't decipher.

With Marc being there, Kay phoned Emma and both agreed to see each other the next weekend with the intention of talking and reaching an agreement that would benefit both. Everything seemed to go smoothly but ... there was something in between ... Whenever Kay suggested that they spend the day at his house; Marc put some excuse not to do it. At first, it passed unnoticed for him, but later it became more evident his refusal.

It was Friday afternoon, and while Kay was doing the paperwork for the week, he was thinking about that situation. Once he finished the task, he went to the counter narcotics department to look for Marc; he found him sitting with his back to the door, massaging his head with both hands. He knocked and without waiting for an answer, he entered the room.

"Do you feel bad?" Kay asked.

"Hello ... I have a headache ... that's all," Marc said with a grin.

"The good news is that it's time to go out and we have free all weekend; I invite you to dinner."

Marc smiled and took his jacket, and then he got up. "Sounds good to me, I'm starving."

They both went to the parking lot where Marc's car was left; just as the previous days both had made the drive to the unit in a single car, since Kay had been sleeping in the Marc's department. In fact Kay already had a good amount of clothes and personal stuffs in the apartment; it seemed that he had moved there.

"Do you want me to drive?" Kay asked.

"Please do it, so I can sleep for a while before we get to the restaurant." He warned.

As soon as Marc sat into the seat, he fell soundly asleep, so without thinking twice, Kay took advantage of the situation to go directly to his house. There he would make supper and he'd discard the idea that had settled in his mind.

About twenty minutes later, Kay came to Unterhaching and parked the car right in front of the shade of a poplar. He turned to Marc and moved him slightly. "Marc, we're here, wake up".

Marc opened his eyes and immediately recognized where they were. He began to feel nervous, but trying to hide it, he asked: "What do we do in your house?"

"We will dine at home, and then we will lie down like veggies to watch movies, won't you?" As Kay asked him, he kept track of Marc’s reaction.

Marc only nodded and got out of the car. Once inside, they went to the kitchen and there, Kay proposed him: "What do you think if you go to rest, while I prepare dinner? At the drawer I have ibuprofen, for your headache. "

"Are you sure? Don't you want me to help you?"

"Not actually. Go up and rest, when I'm ready, I'll call you. "And saying this, he began to pull things out of the cupboard.

Marc slowly climbed the stairs and when he reached the second floor he looked at that bedroom which a few months ago was the best place in that house. He no longer felt part of that home. Standing there he remembered the moment he opened the door and saw Emma on top of Kay. With that image, he closed the door again and headed for the guests room. Marc knew he had to get over it, but something inside him wouldn't let him do it.

He was lying on the bed, trying to deal with that headache, however a few minutes later he fell asleep. He dreamed with a blonde baby, suddenly a movement of the bed made him wake up. He opened his eyes slowly and saw Kay leaning against him. "Hello _meine liebe_ , why did you fall asleep here? Kay asked, and without waiting for an answer, said, "Dinner is ready. Are we going down?

They had roast beef with mashed potatoes and red wine. The truth is that Kay was an excellent cook. At some point Kay confided that when he lived with his parents, he liked to help his mother cook; with her, Kay had learned some recipes. While Marc savored the meat, he thought of that anecdote that Kay shared with him and remembered that before his break up, he intended to contact Kay's parents.

"What do you think? I don't do it wrong, do I? Kay sipped the wine.

"Not at all ... You should do it more often," Marc suggested, smiling.

Once they finished eating, Kay began to put the dishes in the dishwasher, while Marc cleared the table.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Kay told him as he walk into the bedroom.

Marc followed Kay uncertainly. He had to talk to Kay and tell him how he felt, but he wasn't sure how to do it after his decision to support Kay with the baby's theme.

Once in the bedroom, Kay approached Marc and began to kiss him. He wanted him. He felt happy about being together again and with a hopeful future ahead. As Kay kissed him, he began to stroke him, but he noticed that Marc wasn't aroused. Kay stopped and stared at him and then asked, "What's the matter? Don't you feel like it?"

As much as Marc had longed for him, he couldn't forget; so to think about having sex in the same bed where Emma had had sex with Kay lowered his libido to the point of not achieving an erection.

"I can’t ... I'm sorry," he confessed.

Kay was stunned. "I don't get it... what can't you?" He asked worriedly.

"I can't be here, in this room. As much as I try, I can't forget the image of that woman with you ... "he said quietly.

At that moment, Kay understood everything. "How could he have been so stupid not to notice?" That's why Marc's excuses for not going home...

"Marc, forgive me ..." he begged. "I never thought that you were dealing with this ... why didn't you tell me before?" He asked.

"I didn't want to make you feel bad ... so many things have already happened. And besides, I have already forgiven you, but as much as I want to erase that image, I can't do it; and being here, in this room reminds me constantly ... "- confessed.

Kay hugged him tightly and asked, "What do you want to do?" But before Marc answered, Kay said," Do you want us to look for another house, one where we start again? "

Marc was surprised by his proposal. "Are you serious?" He asked incredulously.

"Of course; we can look for a house together, what do you think? A house with a larger garden where Matt and the new baby can play; a house where we both feel good. Our home ... "he finished with a loving smile.

Marc didn't know what to answer. Kay's proposal filled him with emotion, not only because Emma's shadow wouldn't exist anymore, but also it would be the beginning of a new life together. "All right, let's do it," he said in a whisper.

Kay smiled and said, "Come on, let's get out of here. For now, while we find that place, we can live in your apartment ... of course, if you accept me there, "he said with a cocky smile.

Marc started to laugh, saying, "What do you say? The apartment is full of your belongings...”

Kay smiled as he said, "Anyway, I'll pack a suitcase with everything I'll need."

Marc came over and kissed him with love. "Hurry up ... I'll wait you downstairs."


	47. Adjustments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Val for your support with this love story !!!

**47: Adjustments**

**Marc / Kay**

That night, both of them were resting in Marc's apartment and watching movies that Kay had proposed. At times Kay was concentrating on the story, but he couldn't focus on the whole movie since he felt the nervousness for the next encounter he would have with Emma. They had agreed to see each other Saturday morning, so Marc and Kay would go to _Gauting,_ where Emma was living, to talk about the baby.

Marc was also anxious; he didn't know how he would react when he'd see her again. He still felt a huge rage at the way she had acted, but he knew that he should stay calm for the sake of Kay and the baby.

About midnight the movie ended and while they were brushing their teeth Kay asked Marc: "Is everything okay for tomorrow?"

Marc nodded, "Yeah, what about you? How do you feel?"

"Do you want to know the truth? I feel nervous ... I hope everything goes well."

"That's how it will be, you'll see. Now let's go to the bed." As Marc spoke, he placed a brief kiss on Kay's cheek.

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

At eight o'clock in the morning, Kay was making coffee while Marc finished dressing. "Marc, are you ready? It's getting late ..." Kay shouted from the kitchen.

Marc came out of the room in denim pants and a black turtle-neck sweater, which made him look very attractive. "Calm down, we have enough time; we'll see her until ten o'clock."

Kay nodded, smiling, and coming closer to Marc, he breathed into his scent; Kay liked to smell Marc when he came out from having a shower since the mixture of soap and lotion made him irresistible to Kay's eyes. He began to gently bite Marc's lower lip, while saying: "Today you are more handsome than usual," He had confessed to a hoarse voice.

Marc blushed; each time Kay complimented him, he turned red like a tomato. Marc was trying to keep his eyes on Kay, while, at the same time, he thought the day would never come when he would get tired of him. Kay was like a magnet that inevitably attracted to him.

Marc drove to the spot where Kay had stayed with Emma. Both were nervous for different reasons so they spoke very little during the journey. When they reached the small cafeteria she hadn't yet arrived. They chose a table near the window and asked for a coffee. Kay looked at the clock every five minutes. It was almost ten-thirty in the morning and there were no signs of her.

 _"Scheiße!_ What if she doesn't come? "Kay asked with a look of uneasiness.

"She will come... otherwise, why would she warn you?" Marc told him, pressing Kay’s leg in support.

Ten minutes later, with no sign of Emma, Kay dialed her.  Immediately the voicemail came in. He felt more and more uneasy; it was about to re-dial when Marc said, "She's here, see?" At the time he nodded.

Kay followed Marc's gaze and saw Emma getting out of a car on the other side of the sidewalk. Neither of them could distinguish the driver since as soon as she got down, the man started the engine and left.

 "Hello ..." she said so lightly, they both looked at her with a serious face. "Sorry, I was late." She declared without caring at all.

She sat down and looked at Kay. "I thought you'd come alone."

Marc heard her and clenched his fists under the table. He wasn't going to have an argument with that woman. "She wasn't worth it," he said to himself, trying to calm down.

Kay looked at her and gathered all his willpower to not answer her improperly, he said, "Marc is my boyfriend Emma. And he will be with me throughout this process." "What you did was very mean, and if I'm here it's because that baby is not to blame for anything." He concluded, looking at her with a serious face.

Apparently, Emma didn't expect that reaction from Kay, as she immediately changed her mind, and, repenting, replied, "You're right, Kay. Excuse me both. What I did was wrong, I know. But I want to correct my mistake and make things right" she concluded.

Marc was watching her without saying a word, but deep down he didn't believe in her repentance. For him, she was still the same unprincipled woman who had drugged Kay to take advantage of the situation. Kay, meanwhile, managed to sketch a faint smile as he said, "Okay, Emma, let's leave that behind. What are your plans for your pregnancy? "Kay insisted.

"Of course having the baby and then we'll see ..." she answered sharply.

"How is that?" Kay said looking at her severely.

"Well ... that is, of course, if you want, we could agree to the adoption. If I'm honest, I don't know what it is that I'll finally decide since now I have a boyfriend and he doesn't want to take care of a baby that is not his ..." she finished.

Every second that passed, Marc wanted to strangle her. She was a harpy to the full extent of the word, and Marc could see that Emma was taking advantage of Kay's longing to be a father, to behave that way.

Marc knew that Kay was doing his best to contain himself. Marc knew Kay so well, he could see how frustrated he was with everything that was happening.

"Okay Emma, if you don't want the baby I can take care of him. I will support you in everything that you need economically and morally until the baby is born, then we can see the procedures for adoption and thus you will be able to resume your life. "Do you agree?" Kay asked, eager to hear the answer.

Emma was silent for a moment, seemed to weigh her options. For Kay and Marc, the wait seemed eternal, until finally, she conceded: "Let's do it," she agreed with a smile. A few minutes later, she got up from the table and before she left, she turned to Kay and said, "I hope as long as the baby arrives, you'll follow your word and support me in whatever I need."

Once Emma walked out the door, they both looked at each other and Marc let out a frustrated sigh. "This woman doesn't have any scruples, Kay," Marc said, looking in Kay's eyes for some sign of concern.

Kay agreed with Marc. Emma's attitude was one of total detachment to the baby. Apparently, she had no intention of raising him, and although this was finally a good thing for Kay, he felt very sorry for his baby.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Marc suggested, leaving a couple of bills on the table, and then both left the room.

On the way back, Kay was silent. He couldn't believe it would have been so easy to convince her to leave the baby. "What if she finally changed her mind?" He thought taciturnly.

Marc knew what Kay was feeling, so without a word he released a hand from the steering wheel to get Kay. Both clasped hands and Marc began to stroke Kay's hand with his thumb.

The sound of the phone brought them both out of their thoughts. Marc pressed a button on the board and seconds later the voice of Bettina was heard on the speaker. "Hello Marc, how are you?"

"Hello Bettina, I'm fine, and you?"

"Everything is great, thanks for asking. Our baby is growing up so fast, and Bernard is crazy about him." She acknowledged contentedly. "I'm calling you because Matthias has been very restless since the baby arrived and a while ago he told me that he wants to spend the weekend with you; I know that today you don't have to pick him up, but if you have no other plans ..." She didn't finish speaking because at that moment Kay interrupted her:" Hello Bettina if you want we can go through Matty in a couple of hours ... " After saying that, he looked at Marc.

Marc smiled. There was no doubt that the paternal vein was making a dent in Kay. "Who would say that the man who a couple of years before was living in bars and parties, today he was dying to spend a weekend playing with a small child?"

"Yeah, we can go through Matt without a problem, Bettina," Marc said.

"Perfect! I'll prepare the suitcase then ... I'll see you both in a little while. "

They arrived before the promised time and while Kay put Matthias in his baby seat, Marc said goodbye to them. "See you tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

"Sure, have fun. See you tomorrow, Matty, "and giving a kiss to her son, she walked into the house.

In the apartment, Kay was playing with Matthias, while Marc watched the television. An hour later, the child fell asleep.

"What do you think?" Marc wanted to know.

"I don't know for sure". "I'm worried Emma will change her mind," Kay confessed.

"Everything will be all right, Kay. Be confident, "Marc said as he stroked his son's hair.

In the afternoon, Matt was taken for ice cream and to play in the park. The boy ran on the lawn and Marc kept him close. Kay was sitting on the blanket they had taken and looking at Matty, he was thinking that at one time he could be playing with his own son.

After a while father and son approached Kay and sitting next to him, Marc began to chat with Kay. They were having a great time together, Marc and Kay talked about a job issue when the little boy said: _Kaaay, ¿can we plaaay?_

Kay and Marc were still engaged in the conversation and didn't pay attention to the little one, so Matthias raised his voice and said, _"Kaaay ... Daddy ... Daad ... can we play?"_ While with his little hand he pulled Kay's arm.

Listening to the boy, Kay and Marc turned to him and Marc asked, "What do you want to play Matt?"

The boy, looking at Marc and smiling, said, _"Nooo dad, I already played with you ... now I want to play with my other dad ..."_ \- and looking at Kay asked: _"Kaaaay can we plaay?"_

The emotion that seized them was intense. Marc knew that the connection between Kay and his son was great, but he never thought how the little boy visualized that relationship. On the other hand, Kay couldn't believe what the little boy had told him. He felt overwhelmed and more than happy; he never thought that the little boy also saw him as a father. Realizing the emotion, he asked in a hoarse voice: "Sure my love, what do you want to play?" Kay asked him attentively to his answer.

The little boy's face brightened and pulling Kay to stand up, he said: "I want to see the ducks, take me to the ducks Kaay."

Kay and Marc looked at each other; the words were not necessary at that moment. They only shared a knowing look meanwhile Kay stood up.

As Kay took Matthias by the hand and they walked towards the lake, Marc smiled seeing the two great loves of his life walking together.


	48. Struggle

**48\. Struggle**

**Marc / Kay**

  
A month later, Marc and Kay were in front of their new home, located in the same place where Marc began to live when he arrived at Munich. It was a beautiful large two floored Victorian House overlooking Starnberg See, with an amazing garden. They were joyful because of the day before they had signed the leasing contract for at least a year, and with the option to acquire the house in the future. Happiness was felt in the environment; it seemed like everything was going well. However, Emma's pregnancy still meant a problem due to the fact that she hadn't decided what she wanted to do.  
During that month, Kay phone her almost every day and two times he had to visit her because, according to Emma, she felt indisposed. However, Marc felt a little bit awkward for the attention that Kay provided her since he believed that woman didn't deserve it. However, he didn't mention anything to Kay since he could see how excited he was.  
Two more months passed in a similar dynamic; despite the fact that things were going well between them, the fact that Kay had to go to see her constantly, decrease the time to share between them; Marc was trying not to feel anger, but he couldn't do it. Deep down, he was jealous of seeing Kay more and more involved with Emma even though he knew there was no emotional bond to her, Marc couldn't shake off that feeling.  
It was Saturday at noon and Kay would go and see her. He told that he'd come back early to do something together. "I'll be back early, pussy," he said as he hurried to the door. Marc only nodded and continued to read a report of the work. Once alone, the nostalgia was invading him little by little; He had time not to feel this way, so he tried to get rid of that feeling deciding do something special for Kay on his return.  
He left the reading on the desk and turning on the laptop began to look for recipes. He'd prepare a romantic dinner and surprise Kay with his culinary skills. "I couldn't really cook a couple of eggs, but there was nothing the Internet couldn't solve," he thought in a funny mood-. Marc wrote all the ingredients in a piece of paper, once he finished, he took the car keys and headed to the supermarket.  
Two hours later, he returned with several bags and hurriedly entered the kitchen. Once he had unpacked the stuff, he put on an apron, pulled out his iPhone and chose his favorite playlist, getting down to business. He spent the whole afternoon trying to follow the recipe; while he was in tears because of the onion he was stinging. "Scheiße! I'd have bought the food already made" - he complained while trying to follow the recipe. A while later, he put the stew into the oven and sat exhausted on the table, opening a frozen Spaten from the refrigerator.  
Already recovered from such arduous work, he put a bottle of wine in the fridge and began to set the table with the new dishes and wide candles in the center. "Perfect!" He complimented himself mentally as the oven began to dismiss an exquisite scent. "It was not so difficult, after all," and grinning from ear to ear, he turned off the oven. Everything was ready, so he looked at his watch, Marc started up the stairs two at a time. Kay would soon arrive and Marc wanted to receive him already dressed to delight in his face of surprise. He went into the bathroom, opened the shower, and went to bathe. Twenty minutes later, Marc was ready. He had put on the shirt that Kay had given him a few months before and also he was wearing the perfume that Kay liked so much. He opened another beer and he sat on the couch waiting for him.  
Almost an hour later, and a little anxious, Marc called him. After three rings he heard Emma's voice. _"Hallo,_ Marc, how's it going?" As soon as Marc heard her voice, he tensed immediately.  
"Emma ... where's Kay?" He asked without warning.  
Kay fell asleep keeping me company and I didn't want to wake him ... "- she suggested in a tone that annoyed Marc too much.  
Impatiently, Marc replied, "I want to talk to him."  
He heard only a snort of annoyance on the other side of the line and seconds later Marc heard, "Kay, handsome ... Marc is calling you on the phone."  
By this time, Marc was about to lose his grip. "Scheiße!, Scheiße!" He hissed.  
He heard Kay's husky voice because of the dream: _"Hallo?_ "  
"Kay ... have you seen what time it is?" He asked in a serious tone.  
"Marc ... I fell asleep ... sorry" -he heard Kay's apologize. "I'm going home ... I'll see you soon, okay?"  
Marc took a deep breath before answering, "All right, drive carefully." And saying this he hung up.  
He was annoyed, but he tried to collect all the calmness he was capable of since he wasn't going to allow that bitch spoiled his plan. He looked at his watch; it was close to eight o'clock at night, so Kay would be arriving in just under an hour. Sitting in front of the TV he continued to drink his beer.  
When his clock struck ten-thirty his patience had vanished; he went to the kitchen, opened the oven and took out a cold dinner and tossed it in the garbage basket.  
He turned off the lights and returned to the living room; as he settled into the chair, he thought of how stupid he'd been trying to surprise Kay. "Well, the surprised one was you big jerk," he scolded himself, trying to control the mixture of rage and pain he felt.  
Fifteen minutes later, he saw the lights of Kay's car illuminating the house as he parked. Then he heard Kay opening the door and turning on the lights.  
When he opened the door and saw the house turned off, for a moment he thought that Marc was already asleep, but what was his surprise to see Marc sitting on the couch. He watched him with a face that couldn't hide how upset he was. "Scheiße!" Kay murmured as he made his way to where Marc was.  
"Marc forgive me ... It's just that Emma started feeling bad and she asked me not to leave until her friend came to keep her company." Kay apologized in a distressed tone.  
Marc said nothing. He just looked at him and grimacing, he went to the kitchen and opened another beer. Kay followed him a few steps back when he saw the table with candles that never were lit and a smell of food coming from the trash can, he felt really bad.  
"Scheiße! What did I miss? "Kay asked, already knowing the answer in advance.  
"Nothing ... You didn't miss anything," Marc replied annoyed.  
"Marc ... I didn't know ... Bitte" Kay told him as he tried to hug Marc.  
Marc released his embrace with a gentle push as he said, "You know? Forget it ... since that woman returned to our lives, you have lost the compass of what really matters. “And he continued: "You don't realize that taking advantage of her pregnancy, she is manipulating you, and the worst thing is that there are still three months away ... I don't know if I can follow the step "- he concluded raising his voice.  
Kay didn't understand Marc's attitude. He was supposed to support him and in his eyes, he wasn't doing it. "Marc, I think it's not that bad," he replied a little annoyed. "You have to understand that you're talking about my son, and if I spend time with her, it's for the baby, that's all."  
Marc looked at him and left the half-bottle on the table. "Forget it; I'm not going to argue with you." Having said that, he put on his jacket and took the car keys and slammed the door.

 


	49. Disagreement

**49: Disagreement**

**Kay**

He felt divided. He could only hear the creaking of the car's tires, and there was nothing he could do to stop him.

It didn't matter the circumstances of how his son had been conceived; since he knew he would be a father, nothing else mattered. His greatest longing was becoming reality and it hurt in his soul that the man he had chosen as his partner didn't understand the importance of it.

It was true that he felt terribly sorry for not having arrived in time as he had promised, and more so, seeing what Marc had prepared for him, but if something had happened to his baby because of him, he wouldn't have forgiven himself.

Kay opened the fridge and saw a bottle of red wine that Marc had left hours before. He opened it and poured himself a drink while he thought about him. He knew that despite supporting him with the decision to be a father, Marc hadn't forgiven what Emma had done; and although Kay continued to condemn Emma´s behavior, seeing her pregnant and carrying her son in the entrails gave him a certain tenderness that he couldn't deny.

It wasn't long before his baby is born and the recent changes in the law they could exercise their right to adopt the baby as she had proposed. Though he didn't want to admit it openly, he had an irrational fear of Emma changing her mind. Maybe that's why he'd been looking for her for the last few months.

That night it would be useless to try to talk to Marc, so he would wait for him to calm down to talk to him, and then be able to explain his feelings. He wished that Marc could understand him and the things between them would return to normal.

**Marc**

He left the car in the valet parking and entered the place. There he ordered a beer and settled in a chair near the bar. He was very pissed; no matter how he tried to understand Kay, he couldn't; and Kay's behavior took him out of control. Apparently, Kay didn't accept that Emma was manipulating him and the worst thing is that it was still three months before the baby was born. He only hoped that once the time came, she would keep her word and gives Kay the baby for adoption; otherwise, he saw an unpromising future.

While he was thinking through the recent events, he felt someone patting his back; when he turned to look, he saw that it was Jörg. With his typical carefree smile, he looked at Marc with a question mark.

"Marc, what are you doing here? And where is Kay? "He asked as they clapped each other's hands.

"Jörg, how are you?"

"You know, living the crazy life ... I'll play here tonight," he said with a laugh.

"Sounds good ... then I'll stay to see your performance" -Marc smiled in turn.

"I Agree! And where’s Kay? He asked again.

"Kay? I don't know ... he's probably in the house or maybe he's come back with Emma ... "-he commented sarcastically.

"Oh, oh ... trouble in paradise?"

Rare in him, but at that moment Marc felt the need to vent and, although sparingly, he told Jörg what had happened.

"I don't know ... maybe I'm exaggerating, but I swear you, that every time I hear Emma's name, my stomach turns. She's a bad person, but Kay doesn't want to know. “He finished as he swallowed his beer.

Jörg looked at him and advised him, "I can understand your annoyance, but unfortunately it's not something you can change. As long as the baby is not born and both begin with the adoption process, you will have to bend your hands and support Kay as much as possible ... don't you think? "

Marc looked at him and knew Jörg was right Marc nodding, he hit his beer with his. "What can I tell you? I think you're right, but tonight I don't want to think about it anymore. "

"Well, you're in the best place to forget your problems at least for a while... come, join me at my table, I'm with some friends; there we can talk while I start playing ".

Marc got up and followed Jörg. He wanted to have a good time and forget everything.

For the next few hours, Marc and Jörg spent chatting and drinking. Once Jörg's performance ended, he came to the table with a bottle of champagne and the party went on.

About three in the morning, Marc came out of the bathroom when he saw that he had several calls and messages from Kay asking him where he was. He didn't know if it was because of alcohol or that he was actually having a good time, but he decided to ignore all of them. When he returned to the table, one of his favorite songs began to play, so without even thinking twice he went to the center of the dance floor; minutes later, Jörg came to his side and began to dance. "Life is curious," thought Marc as he moved to the rhythm of the music. "If someone had told him a few months ago that he would be dancing with Jörg in a bar, he would never have believed it ..." While it was true that they were not friends, they had learned how to iron out rough edges and get along because of Kay.

It was almost dawn when they left the place. As they both had drunk, a friend of Jörg offered to drive. "Well, where are we going?" The young man asked.

"We could go to your house and then we'll ask for a taxi. Or if you want to, we could go to my house and you can sleep there". Jörg suggested to Marc.

"I don't think that's a good idea; after arguing with Kay, if I don't come back, things will get worse between us... "- He confessed.

"Let's go to your house then ..." Jörg conceded in a mocking tone.

Twenty minutes later, they parked in the garage. As they got out of the car, Marc said, "Let's wait inside until your taxi arrives."

**Kay / Marc**

He opened the door of the house and the three entered the kitchen, there was Kay drinking tea. When their eyes met Marc knew how upset Kay was. "Good ... now you know how I felt," Marc thought wryly.

Raising his eyebrows, Kay looked at them. "The party was good, wasn't it?" He asked sarcastically.

"Kay ... hello, dude," Jörg grinned. "The truth is that we had a good time; you would have gone ...”

"Yes, I think it will be another time ... I'm going to sleep now;" -he told them as he ignored Marc-.

As Kay went away, Marc and Jörg looked at each other. Seconds later they both laughed out loud. Alcohol made them behave like a couple of teenagers.

"We better go ... I think someone will sleep in the tub today," Jörg said as he laughed again.

A few minutes later the taxi arrived, Marc and Jörg said goodbye warmly and then Jörg and the young guy departed. The house was completely silent when Marc entered the room. Kay was lying down but Marc knew that Kay wasn't asleep, so he lay on one side and nearing Kay he put his arm around his waist. He hoped they could reconcile since he hated being angry. Kay didn't react to his embrace but tensed his body in response. Marc approached him a little more and whispered, " _Meine Liebe_ , are you mad? ... Mmm?" Meanwhile, Marc brushed his lips over Kay’s neck.

Kay wasn't annoyed, he was furious ... Not only because of Marc's attitude toward Emma´s pregnancy, but also because of having left all night and not taking the calls. "Yes I am, so let me sleep." He answered him curtly.

Again, Marc tried to change Kay's mood, using the same words Kay had told him a few hours ago: "Kay, come on ... it's not that bad."

At that moment, Kay exploded and turning to Marc he snapped, "What are you saying? You know, Marc? You're behaving in a very immature way ... First of all, you have an absurd jealousy because I spend time with Emma and secondly, you spent all night long outside and you didn't answer me a single message. I just want you to know that I won't give in to your childish whims ...”

Marc sat up on the mattress and said, "Yes? Childish whims?, Do you think so? Is it immature to be angry when you didn't arrive at the time you promised? "Marc shouted furiously.

"Look, Marc, I'm not in the mood to keep arguing with you ... I haven't slept because I waited for you, so let me sleep, we'll talk later ..." And saying this, he turned his back.

Now it was Marc who was furious, so he took his pillow, got up from the bed and whipped the door, and said, "Well, we'll see if I want to talk later." Once in the hall, Marc went into the guest's room and trying to revenge his courage, struck that door too.

Kay heard the other door rumble and only nodded in disapproval. Marc was behaving like a teenager.

About midday Marc woke up disoriented, turned to embrace Kay and he only found an empty space in the bed. _"Scheiße!"_ He hissed, remembering the fight they had last night. He got up sadly and went to bathe. When he went down to the kitchen, everything was picked up; the table was clean and there was no sign of Kay.

He leaned back against one of the sofas when he noticed a book on the coffee table. He sat up to take it and settled back down. It was a book for first-time parents explaining step by step the process of pregnancy; as well as relaxation techniques and psycho-prophylactic exercises. _"Scheiße!_ That's too much... is Kay going to accompany her to prophylactic courses? "He looked annoyed as he put the book back on the table.

A while later, Marc was dozing on the couch when he heard the door open and Kay walked in wearing sports clothes. He had gone to do exercise. They both looked at each other, but neither of them felt the urge to speak, so Marc got up and took the car keys and he got out of the house.

 


	50. Emptiness

**50: Emptiness**

**Marc / Kay**

It had been nearly two weeks since the fight and the things between them were in the same mood.  At some point, they tried to speak but ended up arguing again because of neither of them wanted to concede a bit. According to Marc, he had reasons to feel relegated, due to the few days off that they had, Kay, occupied them to spend a large part of them with Emma, something that Marc caused him to resent. "That harpy took advantage of her pregnancy to spend time with Kay." Marc was sure of it. She rejoiced with the man he loved, and Marc couldn't ignore it.

On the other hand, Kay believed that he was doing the right thing for his son and Marc didn't support him, that issue made him feel empty.

During those days, they hardly spoke and the climate between them was tense. Each of them was immersed in their beliefs while reflexing their problems separately. Kay went from work to his home and took advantage of his free time to call Emma and see how she felt, since unfortunately in the last checkup, the doctor told Emma that the pregnancy had been complicated and she had to pass most of the time resting because of the high risk. Kay still remembered how worried she was when she'd given him the news, since she'd also broke up with the man she'd been dating, and that had made her depressed even more.

 _"Fluch!"_ Kay cursed as he thought of everything he was living; the situation of Emma's pregnancy and on the other hand the attitude that Marc was taking didn't help at all since he had begun to leave almost every night arriving at home drunk. Although he was very upset about this attitude, he still wanted him more than before, longing for him in his bed and in his life.

Marc felt devastated as they had never spent so much time arguing; Kay had a cold approach with him and the fact that he couldn't make love to Kay made him feel loneliness. Even when both concurred on the same schedule to go to work, each one went in his own car to avoid spending time together. During those days, Marc began to leave the house, to try to forget the problems that afflicting him and without intending it, he began to spend more time with Jörg since they concurred in the same bar. Although they had fun and had a good time, when Marc reached the loneliness of his bed he longed to feel the warmth of Kay at his side.

That Friday, Kay finished his shift early; he left the division and headed home. He was hoping to talk to Marc since he had had the day off and Kay wanted to fix their problems once and for all; there were many days of ignoring each other and he didn't want to spend another weekend like that.

Forty minutes later Kay came home but didn't find him. He dialed Marc and after three rings, Kay heard his call diverted to the voicemail. Kay felt very depressed. "How was it possible that their relationship had turned 180 degrees in the blink of an eye? At what point had Marc become a complete stranger?" Kay recalled regretfully. He went upstairs to the bedroom where Marc had been sleeping all these days and sat on the bed. On the mattress was the shirt that Marc had worn the day before, Kay took it and carried it to the face, he aspired to its aroma; smelled of Marc. Soap, that perfume that made him crazy and his own scent were the essence. "Hell, how I miss you; I never thought that the joy I felt when I knew I was going to have a child would be tarnished by your absence”. Kay lay back on the bed hugging the shirt and began to sob; he needed to vent.

With the gaze lost, Marc was drinking scotch sitting on the bar table. A few minutes earlier, Kay had called him, but getting carried away by the accumulated rage, he diverted the call. "To hell with you and that woman ..." he thought bitterly. But still acting that way, deep down he felt helpless as he missed the caresses of Kay and all the moments of perfect harmony together. Marc came out of his reverie when he heard Jörg's deep voice. "Again here? I'm starting to worry dude... "

Marc looked at him as he smiled sadly. "What can I tell you? The things between Kay and me, far from improving are getting worse day by day ... I don't know if we can overcome this. “Marc confessed, melancholically.

"I feel bad to see you like this... I wanted to talk to Kay but he was busy; He said he'd call me back and he didn't do it". Jörg confided in turn.

There was not much else to say, so they both looked at each other and clinked their glasses as they continued to watch the show.

 

Kay fell asleep crying, so when his phone rang, he woke up immediately. He answered, thinking that it was Marc who was calling when he heard Emma's voice. "Kay, could you come and see me? I know it's late, but I don't feel very well and I'm afraid that something might happen to our baby ... "she concluded in a whisper.

"Calm down, everything will be fine. I'm going over there, "Kay said as he got up.

He made the journey to _Gauting_ in less time than usual. He parked the car and rang Emma's doorbell. A few seconds later, she opened it with a smile. "Hello handsome, you arrived soon; thanks for coming, but I feel better". "Come on, I'll invite you a cup of tea... because I want to tell you that today the doctor could see the baby's sex ... "Emma confessed.

Kay was thrilled ... For a moment he forgot his own problems and, looking at her, asked, "Tell me, what's it going to be?"

"A boy... he's going to be a beautiful blue-eyed blonde boy like his father and if you want we can name him like you," she said, smiling.

"Really?" Kay couldn't manage the emotion; he was so happy to hear the news, that without thinking, he took her in his arms and lifted her in the air.

Taking advantage of Kay's happiness, Emma hugged him and made the attempt to kiss him. At that moment, Kay pulled her apart and, turning serious, said, "Don't get confused, Emma, there's nothing between you and me; I ask you not to do it again." “The only thing that unites us is this baby that you carry in the womb, which is not to blame for anything." He concluded firmly.

"Sure, excuse me, Kay ... I don't know what happened to me; it was the emotion of the moment and seeing you so happy, "she said, showing herself ashamed.

Kay softened his face and nodded. "Okay."

Once they clarified the point, they spent some more time chatting about the baby, while she told him about the prophylactic courses; At that moment she noticed Kay was sad and scattered, and taking advantage of it, she asked: "Is everything all right Kay? "I feel you are pensive" "Is everything okay between Marc and you?"

Kay nodded. "Everything is perfect," he lied. He wasn't going to confess to her at all.

Emma looked at him and nodded. Even if Kay didn't accept it, she believed that the relationship between Kay and Marc was fractured and she wanted to take advantage of it. She was still infatuated with Kay and wanted by all means to get his attention.

"I'm happy that things are going well between you and Marc, that our baby's issue hasn't affected your relationship in the slightest. However, I've been thinking about the future of our little Kay ..." She said the name on purpose. "I don't know if Marc really wants to take care of the baby while I'm his mother ... even more, I don't know if he's the right person to raise him ..." she challenged him.

Immediately after hearing her, Kay began to feel annoyed. She had no right to meddle in that way in his relationship. "Emma, don't. No more ..." "I don't want to hear you talk about Marc like that; you don't know him at all,” Kay demanded.

"You're right Kay, don't bother, please ... I just try to make our son have the best future possible; that's all. But forget what I told you ..." She asked looking at him with an annoyed face.

A few hours later, Kay said goodbye to Emma. He had promised that the next day he would accompany her to the first prophylactic session. As Kay left, Emma smirked.

On the way back, Kay thought of Emma's words. "Would it be possible for her to be right?" "That Marc could reject her baby for being the mother?" "No ... he said to himself.” Marc wasn't like that. Marc had shown that he loved him and told him that he would support him with his son. These days apart, they were due to the closeness he had with Emma, but once his baby was born everything would return to normal, "Kay told himself convinced.

Kay parked the car and entered the house. There was no sign of Marc. Thus, he went straight up into the bedroom and went to bed. Several hours later, unable to sleep, he heard Marc arrived. His door was open, but the lights were off, so he heard Marc climb the stairs erratically because of the alcohol. When Marc reached the corridor, instead of going to the room where he was sleeping, Kay saw his silhouette standing in the doorway watching him. Kay didn't move; Kay pretended to be asleep since he wanted to see Marc's reaction. After several minutes Marc had reloaded on the threshold, he turned around and went to the other bedroom. Kay was disappointed but he knew it wasn't a good idea to confront Marc since he was drunk.

The next morning, Kay got up early as he'd accompany Emma to the first psycho-prophylactic session. He went down to the kitchen for breakfast and was surprised to see Marc sitting at the table drinking coffee. The appetite that Kay had, it disappeared immediately upon seeing him.

"Hello ..." Kay said looking at him.

"Hello ..." Marc said in turn.

"Marc we need to talk ..."

"I agree ... let's talk,”

"Is it okay if we do it this afternoon?" Kay asked.

"And why not now?" He challenged.

Kay grimaced almost imperceptibly, as he answered; "Now I have to go out ..."

Marc looked at him and began to laugh bitterly as he said, "Let me guess ... You're in a hurry because you have to go to see her, right?"

Kay looked at him sheepishly and said, "That's right ..."

Marc got up and coming out of the kitchen, said, "You know Kay?  It isn't weird to hear you... anyway... it will be another time then; you have made it clear that our relationship is no longer your priority ... "

Kay stared at Marc as he walked away. He didn't know what to do, since every day it seemed that their differences became more and more irreconcilable and that caused him great pity.

Between excess alcohol, sleeplessness, and lack of exercise, Marc looked like shit. He really wanted to be able to reconcile with Kay, but that possibility was more and more distant. It was becoming increasingly difficult to find in this man the one who had always put him before anything else; he could no longer find the warmth in those blue eyes he loved so much and the pain that made him realize it was so intense that he couldn't breathe. "He urgently needed a friend to talk to him, but unfortunately, he had no one for it. Alexander was the only one, who could advise him, but he had been living in Berlin since three months ago, because of a mission and talk to him by phone was not an option". -Marc admitted wistfully as he stepped into the shower-.

As he felt the water running through his body, he cracked. Marc began to cry like a little boy, nevertheless, as much as he tried, he couldn't contain himself, he slowly dropped on the tiles of the bathroom and hugging his legs, he let off himself steam. The drops of water that ran down his face mingled with his own tears. He didn't know how long he was there, only until the water began to cool, Marc got up and stepped out of the shower. He dressed with the first thing he found and closing the blinds to leave the room to dark he threw himself on the bed.


	51. Pause

  1. Pause



Jörg

That Saturday Jörg had gotten up late because the night before, like many other nights, he had unveiled.

He felt weird. He didn't really know how to explain it but something was going on with him since he began to frequent Marc. Little by little, they became more acquainted and the situation changed. From being the undesirable Kay's boyfriend to become an interesting guy. Now he understood why Kay had fallen in love with him. In addition to the physical issue, there was something about Marc that caught his attention, but he knew full well that he was moving into quicksand. His code didn't allow him to even think about it. Kay was his friend and he'd never betray him that way.

Marc / Kay

An hour later and calmer, Marc stood up. That Saturday he had to go through Matthias and despite feeling physically fatal, being able to spend the weekend with his little boy made him feel slightly better.

Once he picked him up, they both headed to a hamburger restaurant. There Matt ate chips and was playing for a long time. On the way back, the boy fell asleep, not without asking for Kay.

When they got home, Marc noticed that Kay had already arrived since his car was parked in the garage. They entered the house and the child began to run for him. _"Kaaay!_ Where are you daddy?"

Since the communication between Marc and him was nil, Kay didn't know that Matt would be at home that weekend, so when he heard the boy looking for him, he left the studio and found him in the kitchen.

"Hi, champion! How are you? "He asked as he lifted him into his arms.

"Hi, daddy ... I missed you..." The boy responded as he covered Kay's face with his hands. "Do we play?"

Kay's heart was aching every time he heard Matthias call him Daddy. He loved the child with all his soul and he hated to think that there was the slightest possibility of not seeing him. "Sure, let's play my love," Kay answered as he looked at Marc, who was watching them from the kitchen doorway. "How about if you go upstairs and pick up your toys? In a moment I'll go with you, "Kay proposed to the boy, who immediately nodded and releasing his embrace ran up the stairs.

Kay turned to Marc and asked, "Why didn't you tell me that Matty would be here this weekend?"

"As if you cared ..." Marc replied coldly.

"Marc, let's make a truce ... _bitte._ " "Even though it is only while Matthias is here." "I'm not going to tell you how much I care about your son because I have proved it with facts. I know that you're talking like that because you're angry, but I don't want him to realize that we have troubles.

Marc looked at him and only nodded. Kay shook his head in disapproval and went upstairs looking for Matty.

They spent the afternoon playing and watching movies when it was time to sleep, Marc put the little boy in his room and went to the guest's room. Kay tried to focus on the book he had chosen but his mind was a whirlwind of all emotions since during the afternoon while playing with Matthias both left aside the quarrels and returned to live as the family they were. Even at some point, his fingers brushed against Marc's and the spark went on. He could see Marc's pupils dilate because of the desire, and Kay immediately reacted by feeling the excitement prey on him.

After about fifteen minutes, Kay heard a few steps down the corridor and seconds later he could see the figure of Matthias at the foot of the bed. "Daddy ... _Kaaay,_ I can't sleep ... can I sleep with you?" The little boy asked.

Kay put the book on the dresser and spread his arms. "Come here champion," Kay answered, embracing him. The boy lay down next to him when he suddenly asked, "And my dad, Kay? Where is he?"

Kay looked at him and replied with a smile: "Matty your dad shouldn't be late; let’s do something, wait for me here and I'm going to look for your dad, okay?”

The boy nodded and Kay got out of bed and headed for the other room. The door was closed, so he gently knocked on the door and without waiting for a reply he entered. Lying on his back, with both hands on the back of his neck, Marc was staring at the ceiling when he heard the door open. He turned his face and saw Kay entering the room dressed only in trousers and showing his perfect abdomen.

Marc didn't say anything because at that moment he felt a wave of desire begin to cover him. He missed Kay the unspeakable way and seeing him standing in front of him made his mouth dry.

Kay, in turn, looked at him and gathered up all his willpower not to throw himself at him, instead of he said, "Marc, Matthias is in the room; he can't sleep and he's asking for you.”

Marc looked at him and nodded. Kay followed him a few steps back. When they entered the room, Marc saw the face of happiness of his son, who he was sitting in the middle of the bed playing with the TV control. When he raised his little face and looked at them, he began to laugh. "You already arrived! Daddy, where were you? You left us me and _Kaay_ alone. "

Marc looked at his son and said, "Come on tiny, let Kay sleep. Would you like to sleep over with me tonight?"

The boy looked at him with a look of surprise, shaking his head saying: " _Nooo_ ... you come to sleep with us." At the same time, he patted the mattress with his hand.

Marc looked at Kay and he nodded saying: "Yes, Marc, lie down with us," as he lay down beside the boy.

Marc looked at them and smiled at his little boy, agreed. During the course of the night, Matthias moved and settled at the foot of the bed. Kay and Marc slept soundly, in fact, for a long time; neither of them had managed to get a peaceful sleep. At some point, Marc moved and feeling the warmth of Kay, instinctively embraced him. The moment Kay felt Marc's body glued to his, he woke up.

Slowly he turned and could see Marc hugging him tightly; it seemed as if he never wanted to let him go. "You don't know how much I miss you," Kay whispered, looking at him. A few minutes later he fell into a restful sleep.


	52. Bubble

**52: Bubble**

**Marc / Kay**

That weekend was a welcome respite for both; thanks to the family life with Matthias, Marc and Kay managed to leave aside the reproaches and returned to experience that feeling of well-being being side by side although neither of them accepted it openly.

On Monday morning, Kay was having breakfast when Marc entered the kitchen.

"Good morning," Kay said.

"Hello," answered Marc, while having a coffee.

"Do you want breakfast?" Kay asked with a half-smile.

"No ... thanks, it's getting late," Marc said.

Kay nodded and said, "I'm leaving, too. Do you want us to go together? "

Marc looked at him then. In his police uniform, he looked extremely manly.   Marc missed him so much that he couldn't resist one more second so that approaching only a few inches from his face took Kay from the waist and slowly was closing the space between them. A touch of the lips was enough to awaken all the numbing sensations. A hoarse sound came from Kay, which provoked in Marc a feeling that ignited his desire.

Marc began to kiss him with unrestrained fury as if he tried to subdue him even if it was only that way; Kay felt how every fiber of his body vibrated in front of Marc. Both needed each other and finally, they lost control. At that moment Marc grabbed Kay with both hands and raised him on the kitchen counter. The sound of the plates crashing against the floor only succeeded in fanning the excitement of both. They caressed each other as if life depended on it, their tongues moved and clashed sensuously between them and their lips arched and molded against the other. It was a passionate kiss, wet and full of all those emotions that hadn't been said. Kay could see Marc's arousal over his trousers, as he struggled to unbutton it to free his penis and caress it; when he succeeded, Kay could watch Marc's cock in all its fascination. Kay began to stimulate him while Marc did the same with Kay; sliding his hand inside his pants Marc could feel Kay's arousal. _"Gott ...!_ He needed Kay like he'd never needed anything before ... "Marc thought, overwhelmed with desire as he pulled out a swollen, erect penis sawing it shoot up.

Kay gasped with a sigh when Marc caressed his rigid cock with his fingers staring into Kay's face of satisfaction; slowly Marc leaning forward and brought his mouth to savor him. As soon as Kay felt Marc's wet mouth sucking, he closed his eyes and gripped him firmly at the back of his neck. Suddenly he felt Marc separate, ending that pleasant sensation so that he opened his eyes to look at him.

Marc's emerald eyes were clouded because of the lust, and when their gazes met, he spoke in a husky voice of desire: "I don't want you to close your eyes, Kay ... I want you to look at me while I give you pleasure."

Just hearing his request made Kay almost explode; they had been many days of abstinence. Marc came down again and began to stimulate Kay of the way he knew how. Marc's warm breath on his cock in conjunction with that already skilled tongue managed to draw a moan of pleasure. _"Scheiße! Ich vermisse Dich!_ " -Kay thought as he tried not to succumb to his touch-.

"Don't close your eyes," Marc ordered, stopping again. His gaze met Kay's and Marc could see the need for him. Although both knew that nothing was solved yet, the need to have sex was bigger. "They'd fix their problems later," Kay thought, getting carried away by Marc's caresses. Kay took him by the head and pulled him closer to his erection.

"Give me pleasure then ... to the bottom," Kay answered.

Everything was lust and ardor. Marc's tongue traced expert caresses around his glans; Kay pressed his fingers to the back of Marc's neck and massaged and stroked him to encourage him not to stop.

Marc slid his mouth down his length, covering him until he reached his throat. The pleasure was intense, almost unbearable and incredibly exquisite. Between each caress, Marc stared at Kay as he wanted to see how he was delighting himself. Kay's pupils were dilated, and his open mouth let out small gasps. Marc had him wrapped around his wrists and he could feel Kay's pulse racing against his fingers. Marc smiled at his reaction.

Knowing that if he extended that pleasure, they would end up in bed and they didn't have time for it, he decided to suck harder as Kay exploded into his mouth. Marc could feel the surrender of Kay's warm semen to the back of his throat.

When he was finally over, Kay felt his legs tremble, so he was grateful to be sitting on the kitchen counter because if he was stood he wouldn't be able to stay stand. They both looked at each other and then Kay stroked him but Marc wouldn't allow him.

Marc looked at him and in a whisper said: "It's getting late and we have to go to work. It will be another time ... "And looking at him as if he wanted to erase all the problems that afflicted them, he asked" Did you like it? "

In response, Kay cupped Marc's face in his hands and kissed him tenderly. They both smiled and enlisted to go to the unit.

Kay was driving, and Marc sitting next to him, remembered what had happened just a little while ago; neither of them spoke; it seemed that they didn't want to break that fragile bubble of happiness that had enveloped them even if only was for a moment ...


	53. Covenant

**53: Covenant**

**Kay / Marc**

This day the monthly interdisciplinary meeting was held; There, the heads of each area provided a detailed report of the most significant events that occurred during the period. Sitting around the conference table and listening to the head of the unit, Marc was trying to concentrate but no matter how hard he tried his mind returned again and again to the encounter he had held with Kay a few hours before. He felt how the trousers became tighten at the crotch level, as a result of his growing erection due to the memories of Kay's face transformed by desire and his hoarse moans of pleasure.

The certainty that he was responsible for these reactions caused him a deep satisfaction. Despite the problems they had, Marc knew Kay belonged to him and that fact Emma couldn't change it.  He needed to let off steam already; constantly Marc was looking at the clock counting the hours to return home and finish what they had left unfinished.

Seated in front of him, Kay watched him. He knew Marc so well that he realized exactly how on fire he was. Kay could see it in his eyes, in how the nostrils relaxed and how he opened his lips to close them again. He was anxious and Kay knew why. Their eyes met and both were certain of what would happen later.

Kay wanted to remedy the conflicts between them because he hated living like that. All these days of tension had only served to further fuel the need he had about Marc. Both were highly sexual and it was a fact that the attraction they shared intensified even more with the passage of time.

**A few minutes later it was Kay's turn; He would expose the report of his area when he looked up and met those green eyes that he loved so much; remembering the image of Marc between his thighs made him lost the thread of his thoughts; he had to stop a moment to resume his presentation. Marc didn't take away his sight from him, aware of how much he provoked Kay. He squinted his eyes and smiled.**

An hour later, the meeting ended. One by one, the heads of each department went out until only the two of them remained there.

"Good presentation ..." Marc said approaching Kay.

Kay smiled slightly and said: "Yes, well ... I got a little distracted"

"Really? I didn't notice ... "he answered with a loud laugh.

"Ha ha ha ... You're so funny ..." -Kay answered, laughing too. "Do you have anything else to do?" Kay asked.

"Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow ... Shall we go?" He asked, trying not to show any emotion.

Kay nodded and they both went to the car.

"You have to drive," Kay told him.

"It seems good to me, let's go ..." -Marc answered-.

Marc was driving and Kay in the passenger seat was looking for music in his playlist; He chose "What's Up" from 4 Non-Blondes, while humming it, he remembered their sexual encounter of that morning. The fact that Marc had started the caresses after two months of discussions meant a lot to him.

When they got home, Marc went up to change his uniform, while Kay entered the kitchen; on the floor, the broken dishes were still there as a result of that moment of passion. Kay started sweeping and picking up the dump when Marc appeared.

"Wow ... I think things got out of control this morning, isn't it?" He asked, watching how Kay picked up everything.

"Yeah, something like that ... it wouldn't hurt if you helped me," he replied with a smile as he passed the dustpan.

During the next few minutes, both of them were dedicated to the task of fixing that disaster. Once they were finished, Marc opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer and asked Kay, "Do you want one?"

Kay nodded, leaning back at the counter where he had enjoyed Marc's caresses hours before. Marc immediately opened it and leaning on it too, while he took a big sip of his beer. They were silent for a while. It seemed that neither of them wanted to break the harmony that reigned in the environment.

That's when Marc started talking. "I know that these last two months have been complicated for both and you probably think I haven't supported you as I should ..."

Kay was listening attentively. He wanted to understand Marc's position, so he kept silence encouraging him to continue.

"It's just that it frustrates me not to have 100% of your attention; maybe I'm selfish and immature, but I can’t conceive sharing you with that woman ...”

"Marc ..." Kay said, but Marc interrupted him.

"Let me finish, please," Marc requested. Kay looked at him and said, "Okay, tell me how you feel."

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Kay ... sometimes I don't even understand myself, but the truth is that I'm afraid that she'll change her mind and decide to stay in your life ..." "And yes, as I told you a moment ago, I'm selfish, but I'd like to be your priority. " He finished looking down.

"Marc ... What can I tell you that you don't know?" Kay asked as he moved to stand in front of him and with his hand lifted his chin.

"You are the person that I love and with whom I would like to grow old and that won't change because of my son, or much less because of her; on the opposite, the fact that I'm going to be a father, is something that will complement the incredible family that we are today, do you understand me? "He asked, staring at him.

Marc was fighting an inner battle; He was trying to figure it out, but he still felt the doubt that Emma would change her mind and that Kay already knew. "Tell me something, what will happen if she decides not to renounce her baby?"

Kay looked at him and being honest with Marc, he said: "I really don't know, Marc ... I hope that for the good of all it won't be like that".

That response left him worse than he felt before.

"Come on, let's not talk more about something we have no certainty about; until today she hasn't told me anything about it, so let's wait ... don't you think?

Marc could only nod, as he followed Kay up the stairs.

"Can we try not to argue anymore and try to take us as before?" Kay asked, waiting for Marc's response.

"All right," Marc replied with a half-smile.

"Then let's start by going back to sleep together ..." Kay proposed with that cocky smile which characterized him.

Marc smiled and entered the room. The necessity to have sex disappeared but instead a different feeling invaded him.  Despite having spoken with Kay and agreeing not to fight anymore, he was feeling depressed; Marc lying down on the bed, turned off the light and turning his back he begged Kay: "Hug me, I need to feel you by my side ..."

Kay lay down and hugged Marc tenderly, while he whispered in his ear: "Everything will be fine ... I promise you."


	54. Games

**54: Games**

**Marc / Kay**

The week passed without major complications, on the opposite, they took advantage of the time to catch up on everything they had stopped sharing during the period they didn't talk to. Even though Emma had called Kay a couple of times, Marc remained calm and aloof.

On Friday they would go to _Gauting_ ; Kay had asked Marc to accompany him to meet his baby on the 4D ultrasound the doctor would practice to Emma. At first, Marc resisted, since he didn't want to see her or deal with her, but seeing Kay so excited, he couldn't refuse.

On Thursday afternoon when Marc finished his shift, he went looking for Kay to his office. They had returned to the faithful habit of going in a single car to work and Marc wanted to know if Kay would like to go to the club to swim. They hadn't done it for a long time and especially that day Marc wanted to do it. When he arrived, he could see through the window that Kay was on the phone so he turned to go back to his office, but Kay saw him, beckoned him to enter. Marc hesitated for a moment because if he was talking to Emma he didn't want to be present. He came in and noticed that he was talking to his Berlin counterpart so he decided to sit in front of him. While Marc listened to him, he observed every detail of Kay's features. The straight nose, perfectly trimmed beard, the frown of when he was concentrating on some task and those penetrating blue eyes topped a perfect face. Marc loved watching him when he was working, as he transformed into someone else. Kay had so many facets that Marc was fascinated to observe him in each one of them. It was amazing how tender and loving he could be in his personal life in contrast to the hard, cold man he became when he was at work. Marc was proud to be his couple because regardless of being a virile and extremely sexy man, his ability and intelligence attracted him like a magnet.

When Kay hung up, he looked at Marc and showing that cocky smile that characterized him, he asked: "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? "

"For nothing in particular ... it's just that I enjoy watching you when you're working, that's all," Marc answered without breaking eye contact.

Suddenly, Kay got up and sat on the edge of the desk very close to Marc, and pretending to interrogate him as if he were a detainee, Kay asked: "That's true? How much do you like me, Officer Borgmann? Tell me ..." As he spoke, Kay was closing the space between them. He didn´t care that they were at work or that someone could enter; whenever he could play like that with Marc he did it because seeing him blush, made Kay turn-on. It was something that despite the time Marc couldn't control and being the cause of his nervousness caused Kay great satisfaction. One of the things he enjoyed the most was that they both had a similar profile and the two somehow exercised control over each other. That change of roles became part of the salt and pepper in their relationship.

A few inches from each other, they looked without blinking. Marc tried to follow the game when Kay bringing his lips close to Marc's, spoke against his mouth: "You drive me crazy and you know it, don't you Officer Borgmann?"

Marc started laughing as he moved away from Kay. The truth was that playing like that during work made him nervous, whereas Kay didn't care at all.

Kay continued with the game, and said, "Are you mocking the authority?" Would you like to be handcuffed ... eh?

Marc let out a big laugh as he got up from his chair. Only Kay could come up with these follies. "What do you think if we continue this game at home?" He proposed.

"I can't wait to do it," he agreed, smiling as he kept his laptop and put on his jacket.

"But before going home, I feel like going to the club to swim. What do you think? Do you want to go?"

Kay didn't feel like it very much, but he knew it was one of the things that Marc enjoyed the most, so to please him, he accepted. When they arrived at the club, they went directly to the locker room, where they changed and took a shower before entering the pool. **Marc was an expert swimmer and from an almost perfect dive he entered the pool and began to take long armfuls swimming through all pool long. Kay, on the other hand, floated on his back enjoying the sensation of lightness that this provided. He was like this, for several minutes until he felt strong hands coming from the bottom of the pool, taking him from the waist and taking him to the bottom.**

They played like this for a long time until they got tired, then left the pool to shower and left the club. It was near eight o'clock at night when they took the highway; Marc drove with one hand to the steering wheel while with the other he caressed the neck of his lover.

"Lover ... a lot of emotions contained within only five letters" Marc thought as he lowered his arm and took Kay's hand. Without speaking, Kay raised their clasped hands and took Marc's to his lips, placing a delicate kiss on the back of Marc's hand.

He felt happy; problems with Marc seemed to have been solved and the next day they would know their baby through ultrasound. "I don't need anything else," Kay thought, thanking the life.


	55. Lust

**55: Lust**

**Marc / Kay**

"Do we have dinner at home or do you prefer to go somewhere?" Marc asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"What do you crave?" Kay answered, looking at his profile while Marc drove.

"I crave you ..." he answered with a laugh.

"Later ..." Kay promised with a look that said it all.

When they arrived at _Dinnerhopping_ the place was practically full; they chose a table on the terrace and Kay ordered a bottle of white wine.

"Why a bottle of wine, if I can know?" Marc asked, surprised.

"For the pleasure of being together, just for that" "Prost!" Kay told him as he raised his glass.

Marc smiled and raised the glass in turn. The dinner passed between laughter and good talk; when it was the dessert time, Kay said: "I prefer to eat the dessert at home, don't you think?"

Marc just smiled and raised his hand looking for the waiter. "Let's ask for the bill, then."

**As the waiter arrived, Marc's cell phone started ringing; he took it out of his jacket bag and saw that it was Jörg who was calling. Jörg talked to him to say hello and ask if things were better between Kay and him. They chatted for a few minutes and then hung up.**

**While Marc was talking to Jörg, Kay listened but something in the tone of the call disturbed him. He knew Jörg, and he was aware that he would never betray him that way; however, he didn't like it when he called him. Kay knew that while they were estranged Marc had been going out to bars with Jörg so a slight twinge of jealousy invaded him.**

"Why did he call you?" Kay asked.

"He just wanted to know how I feel and if you and I had already fixed things since he hasn't seen me at the bar anymore." He answered in turn.

"Mmm," Kay answered, nodding.

"What ... what's wrong?"

"Nothing ... it's just strange that he calls you more than he calls to me. That's it, "he said seriously.” “It seems like both of you became good friends, right?"

"Yes, the truth is that he is a nice guy. I was able to know him and I like him, "Marc said as he signed the voucher for the account.

Both got up and went to the car. Kay didn't say anything more; He connected his phone and started looking for music.

"You know? I've been thinking that we could take vacations, what do you think? "Marc asked when they entered the house.

"Vacations? When?" Kay said strangely.

"Sure, it wouldn't be now. I know. But it could be once the baby is born and he'll able to travel; I'd like to go to the beach, "Marc replied looking at him.

Kay looked at him for a moment, as if trying to weigh his proposal; seconds later he said: "It would be the first time we would do it, but I don't know... with such a small baby ..."

"You're right, it's nonsense. Forget it, it will be later. "He answered calmly.

"Hey pussy, I never said it was silly ... we can evaluate it once this whole baby theme comes to an end. Don't you think? "As Kay spoke, he approached Marc and stroked him in the temple.

"Sure ..." -Responded Marc giving him a brief kiss on the lips-.

Marc was brushing his teeth, thinking about Kay's reaction. "How inopportune your proposal, Borgmann..." he hissed, looking at himself in the mirror.

Suddenly, Kay leaned out the door and showed him a pair of handcuffs, saying with a sexy smile: "I'm waiting for you ... don't you think I've forgotten."

Marc raised his eyebrows in a sign of skepticism: "Are you being serious?"

"Surprised or afraid of?" Kay answered smiling.

"No ... I'm just not sure I like this ..." he confessed.

Kay approached him and, opening his mouth, ran his tongue over Marc's lips. "Trust me ... you'll like it"

Marc looked at him and noticed how turn on Kay was. That intense look said it all and little by little his body was responding with a powerful erection. Kay pulled him gently and gave him a shove by throwing him on the bed. There, he climbed astride him and began to undress him. Once it was over he began to strip off his clothes until the last garment slipped down his shoulders; Kay smiled looking at him for a long time. Marc raised his head looking at his lips and Kay gave them gladly. They kissed for a long time, savoring each other until Kay broke that caress when he whispered: "I'm dying to feel you again."

Marc smiled at him. Seeing Kay like that, he knew he was willing to do whatever Kay asked for. And taking him by the neck, he murmured as he nibbled at his lips: "Next time, I'll order that chocolate dessert and I'll anoint you with it."

"What I said: you drive me crazy," Kay whispered.

Seconds later, he took the handcuffs that lay next to them on the bed and with a mischievous look showed them to him. He took him from his wrist and, putting it near the headboard, handcuffed him; then he did the same with the other hand.

Marc could see Kay's lustful gaze, while he felt how his chest vibrated at the unknown; He trusted Kay fully, but still felt a hint of anxiety about what was going to happen.

Kay put his mouth on Marc's chest and began to kiss him very slowly. Marc writhed with pleasure as he pulled out soft moans. Little by little, he went down to concentrate on his hard erection. When he was between his thighs, he began to trace soft strokes with his tongue, from the glans to the testicles. "You taste delicious ..." Kay said as he continued with his expert caresses. He wanted to show him how much he loved him and how much he liked him, and because of that, he continued with that game. There came a moment where Marc couldn't take it anymore; those slow caresses only made his agony last, so he whispered with a moan: "Kay, don't stop, keep doing it ... I beg you"

Kay smiled, loved being in control and seeing how Marc retreated with pleasure under his touch; and tied to the headboard without being able to move him excited him even more. Marc was all for him.

Kay's mouth went back to his cock, and Marc arched to feel it more deeply. With the open legs, he gasped when he feels how Kay gently bit his thigh and after a few wet kisses, returned to his penis again. He began to suck it hard, which made Marc shout and try to get away from the handcuffs, while his legs trembled; He was about to explode when he felt the absence of those caresses. He opened his eyes and murmured with a hoarse voice of desire: "No Kay ... don't stop _bitte_ ".

Kay was aware Marc's reactions and knew that he was almost to come, but decided that it wasn't the moment yet, thus he stopped while with a lascivious smile he watched him carefully.

"What's up, Officer Borgmann?" He asked playfully.

"Kay ... _bitte_ " -it was the only thing that Marc was able to say.

"Please what?" Kay continued playing.

"Kay, now ... take me off the handcuffs, _bitte_."

"It's not the time yet ... that's how I want to have you," Kay continued.

Marc closed his eyes in a sign of surrender; he knew Kay would continue with that game until he wanted to, thus, there was no point in continuing to insist.

Kay bringing his mouth close to Marc's, and muttered before kissing him: "Taste your taste."

Marc, ablaze by what Kay was telling him, did so while with gentle movements bite Kay's lower lip. Hypnotized by Marc's response, Kay gasped and looking at him asked, "Do you like this game?"

"Yes" - Marc answered more hoarsely.

"I told you to trust me," Kay said, kissing him again. "Do you want more _Meine Liebe_?"

"Yes," Marc pleaded, as he imagined again between his legs.

"How far are you willing?"

"Everything you want to do," he mused, tremendously ablaze. It was incredible what Kay could be done with him; reduce him to pure desire...

Upon hearing him confess that, Kay had to make a huge effort not to lose control. He raised his head and looked at him. Marc's cheeks were flushed and his eyes shining with desire. "Are you nervous?"

Marc shook his head, trying to catch Kay's mouth with his. "No ... don't move," Kay ordered seriously. "If you do, I'll stop again, I just want to listen to you, I want your moans to let me know how much you enjoy what I do, all right?" Kay concluded morbidly.

Marc was fascinated with everything Kay was saying; He never thought how exciting a couple of handcuffs could become in Kay's hands. He loved that man with the same intensity that excited him, maddened by the situation.

At that time, Kay took the lubricant from the drawer and began to caress the full length of Marc´s cock, after doing the same with him, Kay sat astride and began to put it on himself little by little to be to the bottom. He started to move as he stared at Marc.

Marc felt him and asked Kay not to stop. He wanted to move, but then Kay stopped. "No ... enjoy, stay still until you explode inside me," Kay whispered hoarsely.

Marc did so. Marc tried to stay calm enjoying that narrowness. Kay drove him crazy; He closed his eyes when he felt the orgasm growing inside him, as he trembled on the bed. Kay, in turn, arched over him while masturbating and exploding too.

Exhausted by the effort, he let himself fall on Marc's torso. A moment later, he unbuckled the handcuffs of Marc's wrists and leaned back into his lap. Marc, already released, embraced him and began to caress slowly on Kay's back while whispering all kinds of affectionate words until the dream overcame them.


	56. Betrayal

**56: Betrayal**

**Marc / Kay**

The next morning, a soft snore woke him up. He turned his head and looked at Marc who lay on his side sleeping peacefully. Kay watched fascinated him while smiling remembered the so pleasant episode of the previous night. The only salvageable thing about their fights were those incredible encounters; the last always far surpassed the previous one. With Marc he had found his soulmate, there was no doubt about it.

Despite the wine and the exhaustive exercise he had done a day before, he hadn't slept much because of the excitement he felt to see his baby on the ultrasound. He got up to make coffee, letting Marc rest for a while longer.

An hour later, Marc went down to the kitchen. He wore jeans and a green shirt that highlighted the color of his eyes even more.

"Good morning, Officer Engel," he said jokingly.

"You're in a very good mood, aren't you Officer Borgmann? - Kay answered keeping the game -.

Marc smiled and approaching Kay whispered: "You don't stop surprising me, did you know?"

"I think the same about you... pussy"

Marc let out a laugh while he poured himself a coffee.

Half an hour later they left to _Gauting_. Kay had phoned Emma very early to confirm that the appointment was still standing, and he took the opportunity to inform her that Marc would accompany him, thus, he expected a good behavior from her regarding Marc. He only heard a "yes" said reluctantly and without saying more she hung up. He resented Emma's attitude that had towards Marc, and because of that Kay believed all that effort soon would end.

When they arrived at Emma's house, Marc parked the car and, turning to Kay, said: "Ready to meet him?"

"Thanks, Marc, really. You know what it means to me and the fact that you are here by my side makes me very happy. "

Marc nodded and kissed him on the temple. "Ok, go for her; I'll be waiting for you here in the car.”

Kay smiled and left the BMW with a hasty step. He rang the bell and waited. After a few minutes that seemed eternal, he saw Emma open the door.

As soon as she saw him and realized that Marc was only a few meters inside the car, she rushed into his arms as if they were lovers. "Hi, handsome! Are you ready to meet little Kay? "She asked with a higher voice than necessary; it seemed as if she wanted everyone to know.

"Emma ... hallo" -said Kay taking her by the arms to separate her from him-.

Marc from where he was watched the scene feeling a huge desire to strangle her in the figurative sense. "Are you kidding me..." he thought grudgingly while looking for an ad-hoc song with his mood.

Fortunately, when they got into the car, Kay remained in the passenger seat, but not before helping her to put on her seatbelt. "Ah ... you here ... it's true; Kay told me you would come, "Emma said reluctantly.

Marc looked at her and without answering; he engine the car's motor and headed to the hospital. Once they arrived, they sat down to wait for their turn. To avoid listening to Emma's chatter, Marc opted to put on headphones and turn up the volume to the music; only because he loved Kay he was making a great effort to tolerate her. While they waited, Marc looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was huge ... it seemed that she was going to give birth at any moment ... but for his misfortune, there were still two and a half months left for it. "It seemed funny to keep the account almost in detail; It was as if he were a prisoner counting the days to obtain his freedom ", he thought amused.

A few minutes later, an elderly nurse asked them to come to the doctor's office. There, a young physician greeted them animatedly. After the rigorous questions about her physical state, he made her put on her robe and lay down on the examination table. Turning to Marc and Kay he asked them: "Who of both of you will go with her?"

For a few seconds, both looked at each other without knowing what to answer. However, almost immediately, Kay responded. "Both, doctor." The physician without any more questions, made them pass.

"Alright young lady, are you ready to know your baby in 4D? -The doctor asked her while he was doing the ultrasound.

Kay was sitting next to her, watching the screen in astonishment when Emma, holding his hand, stated: "It will be a healthy and beautiful baby, isn't it, doctor?"

Marc looked at Kay and knew how excited he was; his eyes were glassy, trying to control the tears of happiness without even noticing what Emma was doing; He could feel Kay's emotion and even himself softened when he saw the baby.

Before concluding the study, the doctor said: "Everything seems to be perfect, the heart rate is normal and the baby is almost completely formed for the 36 weeks of pregnancy you are carrying; I'll see you next week, to determine if it will be a natural birth or cesarean.”

Kay was still gawking at the image; Emma took him by the hand and took it to her bulging abdomen.

"Hey handsome, feel how the baby moves, I think he will be a footballer" -she laughed-. Kay laughed with her as he helped her up.

"That's all Emma, you can get dressed and I'll see you in a moment to give you the final recommendations" - concluded the doctor, going to his desk-.

At that moment Marc stood still with his eyes fixed on Emma. His mind began to spin a thousand times per hour, while Kay looked at her enraptured. Finally, he reacted and going to the door he said to Kay: "I'll wait for you in the car, I don't feel well ..."

Kay looked at Marc worriedly and approaching him asked: "What's wrong Marc?"

"It's nothing, it was just dizziness, but now I feel better."

"Are you sure?

"I tell you it's nothing, Kay ..."

Emma approached interrupting Marc: "He told you he has nothing Kay, come with me" - while taking his arm and took him to the doctor's office -.

Marc didn't wait for Kay's response; he turned around and headed for the elevator. His head was spinning, he felt disgusted and wanting to vomit. When he got to the car took the wheel with both hands and hit it. "36 weeks ... the doctor had said," Marc repeated loudly. "36 weeks is the last month of pregnancy ..." -he knew it perfectly since he had lived with Betinna at the time-.

He didn't know what to do ... "That bitch was cheating on him ... How she could be so mean ...? If she was 36 weeks pregnant then that baby couldn't be Kay's." _"Scheiße!"_ Marc screamed. He felt immediate relief, but at the same time, a deep grief washed over him for Kay. "How would he take it?" He thought uneasily.

A few minutes later he saw them moving towards the car. Kay was radiant with happiness while helping her with her bag. _"Du Bist Scheiße!"_ Marc hissed as he watched her with contained anger.

On the way to Emma's house, Marc didn't speak a word. He just listened to the whole string of lies that she told Kay, while Kay looked at her happily. When Kay said goodbye to her, he ran back to the BMW, where Marc was already waiting for him.

He got into the car and looking at Marc said: "Did you see how clear the baby was? He's perfect ... Marc. "

Marc looked at him and smiled sadly. "Arriving at the house he would talk to him" -he thought-.

During the journey, Kay was enthralled; He put his favorite playlist and sang aloud. Marc felt so bad for him, but it was necessary to disabuse him.

When they got home, Marc went straight to the kitchen and, taking a glass, poured himself a drink of scotch. Kay reached him seconds later when he saw that in one gulp Marc took all the content.

"Wow, wow ... Don't you think it's too early to drink?" Kay asked questioningly.

He knew it had been difficult for Marc to manage Emma and certainly she hadn't done anything easier either, but it was not a reason for him to behave that way.

"Marc ... What's wrong? Are you upset about something? "He questioned approaching him.

Marc looked at him and said: "Kay, we must talk; please sit"

"You're starting to make me nervous, what's the matter with you?"

"Kay ..." he began to talk as he sat beside him and took him by the arm.

"What's up? I know there is something that is bothering you; if it's because of Emma's attitude, I understand you, but please don't be upset ... "he asked.

"It's not that... Don't you realize that she is using you?" He challenged.

"Are you going to start with the same issue again Marc?" Kay replied with a bored face.

"Kay ... that baby she's waiting for is not yours" -he released him as he watched him closely to see his reactions-.

Kay paled. "What the fuck was Marc saying?  He couldn't believe it. He really didn't understand... "

"What the fuck are you saying?" Kay yelled as he let go of his hand.

"Kay ... listen to me," Marc asked.

"I have nothing to listen to ... It seems that far from cheering for me, you are only looking for pretexts to fight. But, you know? I'm done". -he snapped furiously as he got up and left the house slamming the door.

Of all the reactions he expected from Kay, the one he had just witnessed was the last one Marc imagined. He hadn't even given him the opportunity to explain to him" -he thought grimly-.

Pouring another glass of whiskey, he sat down in the living room to wait for him.


	57. Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little one...

**57: Lies**

**Kay**

He was driving on the highway without knowing where to go.   In his mind, Marc’s statement spun over and over again: “that son she is waiting for is not yours… is not yours, Kay”.

Suddenly, he accelerated and whirled in the next exit to Gauting; he had to talk to Emma.  What Marc had said was a complete stupidity, he was sure.  He didn’t understand why Marc had pointed out such a thing like that.   “It couldn’t be true” –Kay begged aloud-.

Kay didn’t notice when he arrived at Emma’s house since he wasn’t conscious of the road; his mind spun like a whirlwind.  “What if Marc’s words are true?” –Kay thought with the fear instilled into his throat-.   While he hugged the steering wheel with both arms and laying down his head on it, he decided what to do.

After a while, Kay got out of the car and noticed the temperature had descended considerably, a few minutes later he started to shiver due to he hadn’t wear appropriate clothes.

It was almost ten o’clock at night and the lights were turned off at that time.  Nevertheless, without caring to wake her up, he knocked the door repeatedly.   After a while, he could hear tired paces coming up of the door.   Emma opened, and her face said it at all; she never expected to see him standing in front of her. 

Kay looked at her carefully: she couldn't walk like a normal person due to pregnancy; her feet were swollen, and her face reflected concern. However, he had to recognize she was still a very attractive woman even for him.

“Kay? Is it everything ok?” –She asked while closing the space between them she hugged him-.  “You’re shaking”. –Emma asserted-.

Unlike other times, Kay didn’t avoid her.  He felt helpless, without anything else to hold on.   Again, problems with Marc were making differences between them.  Lately, for some any reason, there were more disgusting moments than the good ones and the feasibility of Marc’s suggest was true made him feel even more miserable.

“Emma… Can I come in?” –He asked with an empty look-.

“Of course, this is your home.  Please come in and tell me what’s going on. –She begged.

Once inside, Kay sat down on the couch and before speaking anything he looked at her intensely.  “I need once and for all you be completely honest with me…” –He demanded-.

Emma looked at him questioningly at the same time she was revolving in her seat nervously.  “What’s going on?” –She wanted to know-.

“This baby you’re waiting for, it’s mine?”  -Kay released at the time-.

Emma paled.  In that moment she knew Marc had discovered the truth and he had told Kay.  She had disparaged Marc’s acuity thus, breathing evenly and made herself offended, revolved the question: “How is it possible you be able to doubt?  I’m really sorry because of the way things happened between us; however, never ever I’d play with something such important for us.  “Why are you asking me this?” –She sentenced-.

Kay looked down his sight.  Suddenly, looking at her caressed her abdomen, he realized how stupid he was.   It didn't matter how everything started, the reality was both had had sexual intercourses and clearly in front of him was the consequence of that.  “Why Marc made him hesitate from something evident and who anyone could look at this situation was irrefutable?” –Kay thought without raising his sigh-.

“Kay? Look at me…” –Emma ordered taking by his chin-.

Kay raised his sight and hesitantly started talking: “I need you answer me… Marc told me…”

He couldn’t finish speaking.   At that time, Emma interrupting him, she asserted: “I knew it…  The fact he intruded in this whole thing made you doubt.  I told you last time you came here, that he didn’t want my child and he’s doing everything he can to change your mind.   It is your son and I’m not going to allow he said the opposite”.   “Marc is not the man he pretends to be Kay; He doesn’t want to support in your desire to be a father”. –She finished with circumspect face-.

When Kay noticed the decision in her face, she gave him all the security that he needed.  Getting closer to her Kay hugged her tightly after gave her a soft kiss in the bulgy abdomen.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Emma.   I’m ashamed because distrusted you; I don’t know what’s happening with Marc, but I’m clear who my priority is; so, you don’t need to be worried about anything”.  –When Kay concluded, he got up and heading to the door, said: “I’m going… Please forgive me for waking you up.  I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you and my baby are”.

Emma observed him calmly and nodding told Kay: “All right Kay, but please never ever doubt about your son because I won’t allow he suffered because of your insecurities”. – After saying that, she hugged him tightly-.   Kay gave back the caress snuggling in Emma’s neck hole; he needed desperately someone who embraced him.

After closing the door, Emma watched how he headed to his Audi and she smiled triumphantly.

Kay was driving more quiet and calm when he realized the necessity to talk to Marc and this time he’d have a decisive conversation with him.   Marc had to understand once and for all that there weren’t such as minimum opportunity to make him choose between him and his son.  Kay was convinced of that.   If he had to choose, Kay had made his choice.

 

 


	58. Hopelessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Val for your great contribution...

**58: Hopelessness**

**Marc**

“Certainly patience it wasn’t one of his skills” –Marc accepted as he looked again his watch for umpteenth time-.  There had passed two hours since Kay had left the house like a possessed starting the car at full speed without giving him the opportunity to explain what he had discovered.

He perfectly knew it wouldn't be easy the things that would come next. He’d have to be very cautious with Kay, since only one hour before he had certainty he was the father of this baby.  All these months had been very hard for both of them due to the fact their relationship was tested many times.  Whereas Kay would have to listen to him, he’d explain the reasons for his doubts and Kay would have to believe him.  He was ready to unmask that bitch.

It would be useless to call him since after the fifth call Kay had turned off his cellphone; Marc knew it because all the calls after the fifth attempt went to the mailbox directly. He was starting to worry since the weather was becoming worse minute after minute; temperature was decreasing drastically and the first snowflakes had begun to fall.

Without waiting one more minute, on a start of despair, Marc put on his jacket and taking the keys got out of the house. 

He’d go look for him and knowing how Kay was; the best place to do it was Emma’s house.  Deep down he wished Kay did so and once and for all he noticed that Emma was cheating on him. He was worried about Kay’s response to such news.

If she confessed the truth, Marc wouldn’t know what Kay’s reaction would be like;  He didn’t even want to imagine it; snow and speed were not a good mix, and he was certain Kay would unburden all his worries by driving his Audi at full speed.

**_“Scheiße!_ I must have looked for a better way to say it…” –He recriminated himself while taking the steering wheel with much more strength than necessary-. When the snow started to increase, Marc became more nervous and he whispered: “God please don’t allow that anything bad happens to him!”**

When he arrived at the neighborhood, where she lived, he could only see the lights off and not a single track of Kay.  “Damn it…” –he hissed while making a “u” turn.  “Perhaps, we bump into each other or maybe Kay is already at home”.  –He thought worriedly while he drove into the highway that would lead him to Starnberg See-.

One hour later, he arrived only to notice that the house was empty.  “Where would Kay be at that time?” –He thought overwhelmed while calling Jörg-. “Probably Kay would be with him”.

When Marc heard Jörg’s voice greeting him carefree, he knew Kay wasn’t with him.  “Hi, Marc! What a nice surprise! Are you both coming tonight?” –He asked funny.

“Jörg, I’m calling you to know if you have talked to Kay…”

“No… Why, what’s going on?” –He asked intrigued-.

“We had a discussion a while ago and he got out of the house very pissed off, he turned off his cell and I can’t find him” –he summarized desperately-. 

"And now, what happened?"

"It's a sensitive issue that I wouldn't like to tell you by phone, what I want now is finding Kay ..." He concluded worried.

"Look, Marc, I don't know what the reason for your fight was this time, but give him time to calm down. I know that sometimes he can be visceral, so I recommend you to calm down and wait to talk to him ... If he hasn't arrived early tomorrow, then we'll look for him, are you agree? "-he spoke trying to calm him.

While Marc listened he began to calm down. Jörg was right. "Yes, I think I'll follow your advice ..." He conceded a little bit worried.

"Where are you now?" Jörg inquired.

"Coming home…"

"Do you want me to go to your home to keeping you company while Kay comes back?"

"Don't you have a presentation tonight?" Marc asked.

"You haven't seen the clock, have you? It's almost three in the morning ... I already had my presentation, so without a problem, I can go to your house. What are the friends for?"

"Thank you". He concluded with a smile that looked more like a grimace.

When he hung up, he sat in the living room with a bottle of scotch on one side and stayed to wait.

After a while he heard the unmistakable sound of a BMW engine, -it was Jörg-, thus he went to the entrance and opened the door before Jörg knocked it. The snow had already covered much of the asphalt and still didn't stop falling.

When Jörg approached the entrance he could see the face of concern of Marc. He looked dejected and seeing him like this brought sorrow. They greeted each other with a hug, while Jörg, trying to soften the tension, said: "Calm down Marc, everything will be fine; now invite me a drink to warm up because it's making a freaking cold"

They sat in the living room facing each other and while Marc was pouring him a glass of scotch, he began to tell him what had happened. He told him what he discovered during the ultrasound and how he'd realized Emma's lie.

"The worst of all is that Kay didn't give me the opportunity to explain him, you know? He went like crazy and I'm afraid he can do something stupid; you know how Kay handles the problems and with this weather... “ He didn't finish the sentence since at that moment Jörg got up from where he was and sat next to him very close to him.

"What can I tell you? It's complicated, but Kay is a very intelligent man; probably now he is blinded by all the lies that Emma has made him believe, but once he analyzes the situation, he'll have to accept it, no matter how painful it is for him. Finally, if he doesn't believe you, you can suggest a DNA test. "

Marc watched him intently as he tried to process what Jörg was telling him; a DNA test would be the last resource, but he hoped that they didn't have to go to that extreme. He really wished Kay would notice sooner.

"Hey ... don't worry anymore. Everything has a solution in this life, "he said trying to comfort him.

**Jörg**

While talking to Marc, without thinking, he raised his hand and began to stroke his hair; no matter how strong or rough Marc was, love made him seem vulnerable and helpless and without being able to avoid it caused Jörg a great tenderness. Marc raised his face and in gratitude smiled at him. It was a sincere smile. It was amazing how close they had become in the wake of disagreements with Kay.

Jörg had realized a few weeks ago that this particular relationship was changing. Things started to change with Kay, because their calls were more sporadic and with whom he maintained more contact was with Marc. He felt much attached to him. Suddenly, he felt fear because of this unknown feeling that Marc woke up in him. That sense of comfort caused him mixed feelings since Kay was his friend and he couldn't afford to feel anything other than a simple friendship.

But the reality was that Marc gave him stability that he had never experienced before.

Breaking the moment, Jörg got up and went to the bathroom. While washing his hands, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. The deep scar that ran down his cheek was a reminder of why he had decided to be a free soul, without prejudices or ties. Until recently, he declared that he enjoyed what he was doing with great intensity, without the need to get involved romantically with anyone.

Almost ten years ago, when he was just beginning his pilgrimage as a DJ, he had fallen in love like a crazy, and nobody was more important than Leonard. It was two years of his life that he shared with him. At that time he swore that their love was indestructible and they could even form a family together. But one night when he returned earlier than planned, all his dreams and projects came down. There was his lover wallowing in his own bed with a complete stranger. What happened next wasn't worth remembering, because, by itself, the scar reminded him every day.

It was curious that after that relationship he'd never again become romantically involved with anyone until he met Kay; and now, it was Marc who provoked emotions that he didn't want to feel. Leaving those thoughts aside, he wiped his hands and left the bathroom.

When he arrived at the room Marc wasn't there; he noticed that the door was ajar, so he went to see it. It had stopped snowing but the landscape that the snow had left was superb. It was already dawning and the first rays of the sun mixed among the trees and filtered in the clarity of the lake. The view was overwhelming. They both admired that beauty immersed in their own thoughts.

Suddenly, Jörg looked at Marc appreciating him in profile. He did it as if he wanted to keep every detail for him. He had an unusual face, clean skin without any scar that clouded his appeal; the chin square and well defined, the nose straight. Those green emerald eyes were very similar to his. He had a magnetism he couldn't deny; maybe at first glance, it wasn't so obvious, only who was close to him could notice it. The image of the hard and apparently reserved man contrasted with the romantic, dreamy and sexual man he was.

At that moment he felt envious of Kay. Only for a moment would he have liked to feel those lips against his; be the object of that love that Marc lavished; He was something stronger than him. He wanted to change his life and have something true, something that was only for him. He knew that Marc was responsible for that change since he had the virtue of bringing out the purest of each person.

Immersed in his thoughts, Jörg didn't realize at what moment Marc turned to him and watched him.

"What's wrong?" Marc asked curiously.

"Nothing ... I was just thinking" -Jörg answered in turn-

"What...?"

Jörg lowered his eyes for a moment and then landed on Marc's look when he asked:

"Are you sure this is what you want in your life?"

"What are you talking about?"

"To be suffering almost all the time ..." Jörg challenged.

"I don't understand where you want to get to Jörg"

"I don't know ... but maybe living with Kay doesn't make you all right".

Marc looked at him incredulously: "What are you saying? I don't get it".

"I don't know Marc, don't listen to me, but lately, Kay and you have had many problems and for one reason or another are almost always separated. Don't you tire?"

Marc, annoyed at his words, refuted: "I don't know why you are telling me this; you know that despite everything we love each other and we have ups and downs like others."

"Maybe you're right; I'm not anyone to point but, is it worth so much suffering? Have you ever thought you could be with someone who gives you more stability? "And he finished saying," Look, Kay is my friend and you know there was something between us in the past, but trying to be impartial I think Kay is being very unfair to you at this time. "

Marc looked at him and throwing his shoulders back, he said: "I am sure that we will be able to overcome this doldrums in which we have fallen because what he and I have is real ... never in my whole life, I've felt as intimate with anyone as with Kay; the chemistry that exists between us is unique, you know? "Marc confessed in a whisper.

"I believe you Marc, but it's not that you've had another relationship with a man, right? I'm just saying that you have no point of comparison, all this is new to you because it was with Kay that you discovered your identity, and maybe that doesn't allow you to realize that despite the sexual attraction and love you feel for him It probably won't be enough ... "

Marc was silent. He didn't know what to answer; he never imagined that Jörg would make him question something that for him was completely immovable.

Finally, Jörg looking at him with affection added: "Sometimes life presents us with many paths, we only need to choose the best one for us, even if this implies pain and suffering in the beginning". - Saying this, he turned and went to the interior of the house and said: "let's go I'm freezing. And you don't listen to me, alcohol makes me talk more. "

Marc looked at him and without replying anything else followed him inside. However, it was true that some of the things that Jörg had said had penetrated him deeply.


	59. Tiredness

**59: Tiredness**

**Kay**

He was driving at a moderate speed since the snowstorm hadn't stopped and the car didn't have the right tires.

"In any case, I'm not in a hurry to get there," he decided tiredly. "Lately, his relationship with Marc was to discuss one day and the other either, always for the same thing; as much as he tried to be empathetic with him, Marc's attitude took him off balance, "he thought morosely, drifting towards Sinners Party bar.

Even though he was conscious that he must talk to Marc and settle things clear, at that time he hadn't have the slightest intention of getting home to start arguing with him.

He parked the car and at a fast pace enter the bar because without a suitable jacket the cold penetrated until his bones. He briefly greeted a couple of acquaintances who were smoking near the entrance and went on his way.

Inside, to get warm, he ordered a glass of scotch and leaned on the bar watching the people around him. It was all laughter, music, and alcohol. "This is what I needed.  The best place to forget a little bit my concerns" -confirmed, as he drained his drink.

He looked for a place near to the bartender sitting down and drinking quietly, bringing his ideas in order. After two more drinks, he got up to piss and as he made his way through the crowd he dodged those intentional touches he knew so well.

Since a long time ago he didn't go out alone to bars and the approving looks that he provoked didn't go unnoticed for him.

 He knew he was attractive; nevertheless, he didn't have the slightest interest in engaging in conversation with anyone. Half an hour later, back at his table, a guy approached trying to make him talk. "Hi, I'll buy you a drink ..." -he proposed.

Kay turned to look at him, he wasn't generally discourteous and had a big fang to manage guys like him, but at this time he wasn't in the mood for it.  Thus, he answered with a stern expression: "Nein ..." -At the same time, he was turning his back to that guy.

"Come on, I just want to talk ..." the stranger insisted.

"I'm not interested ..." -and saying this, he raised his glass to finish the contents.

The young man looked at him with a pity face and then he left him alone. Kay looking at his watch decided that he had had enough, after paying the bill he headed to the exit.

It had stopped snowing and it was already dawning when Kay arrived at his home.  He realized that it had been stupid to drive like this in such conditions because although he didn't get drunk, he felt somewhat dizzy.

Thinking about the former discussion with Marc, he saw a BMW M2 Coupé parked in front of the entrance of his house. "Scheiße!" He hissed annoyed. "Are you kidding me?" He asked aloud, as he got out of the car.

"What the fuck was Jörg doing there?" Kay thought as he opened the door. He felt extremely irritable and the fact that Jörg was in his home, made felt him even worse. Surprised, he entered and saw them asleep on the armchair side by side, his patience was exhausted. At that moment irrational jealousy blinded him; an accumulation of negative emotions overflowed him.

"Sorry if I bother you two ..." -he declared as Marc and Jörg woke up.

"Kay ... you finally arrived, I was worried about you," Marc said, studying his appearance.

"Yes, I can see it" -he said dryly-.

Jörg, who knew Kay so well, knew that he was trying to contain himself, but he wasn't able to hide the anger on his face, so he decided to leave them alone. "Kay, it's good that you appeared, we were really worried about you".  Kay turned to Jörg and nodding said: "Thanks, ****_friend_  but as you can see, I'm better than well; now if you excuse me, I'm going to sleep "-telling that he went up to the stairs-.

While Marc watched him go up the steps he was certain that nothing good was coming. When he disappeared from his vision's field, he looked back at Jörg who was watching him with a serious face.

"I'm leaving I hope you two can talk calmly," while he hugged him and patted him on the back.

"Thank you very much for coming," Marc replied with a defeated attitude.

"Hears! Don't put yourself so you haven't done anything wrong; find the best moment to talk to Kay and solve your problems once and for all, "he advised taking him by the shoulder.

Marc nodded not very convinced due to he knew Kay and he could be very visceral when he wanted to.


	60. Misunderstanding

**60: Misunderstanding**

**Kay / Marc**

Kay was sitting on the floor at bed's foot with both hands holding his head. He knew he shouldn't have drunk because in the mood he was in, it had only helped to depress him more. Despite having talked with Emma and solving the baby issue, he felt unhappy. In his mind, he had clear what his priority should be, however, his heart seemed to disagree. He loved Marc and he knew that it was reciprocal, but from a few months to the date the constant fights over the same issue were wearing away from their coexistence.

On the other hand, he couldn't deny that reconciliations were more than burning but Kay knew that it wasn't enough in a relationship. "If I thought otherwise, it would be like wanting to cover the sun with a finger" -he acknowledged distressed-. "As long as Marc didn't accept once and for all that he was the father of that son and this fact would completely change their dynamic, Kay saw a very unpromising future."

While he was recapping the problems of his life and not caring where he was, he took from his pocket a cigarette of marijuana he had been given at the bar and lit it. He had a long time not to smoke it but at that moment Kay felt he needed it. As he inhaled the first puff, he remembered the last time he smoked it: it had been with Jörg after a concert where they had both had fun in a big way; On that occasion they had drunk, danced and smoked everything they wanted and at the end of the night they finished the party in bed until they were satisfied with each other.

"Jörg ..." he said loudly while making a face. Never in all his life had he felt as jealous as he was now; he didn't know if it was because in the past he never had someone at his side that really cared or because he saw Jörg as a real threat. Whatever it was, seeing him near Marc was almost the same as feeling a kick in the testicles, since deep down he knew how sweet, sexy and fun Jörg could be and Marc's coming to discover it, made him irrationally afraid.

When Marc entered the room he was surprised to smell that unmistakable scent, not only because it had a long time that Kay didn't smoke, but because he knew him and knew that when he did it was because he wasn't feeling well psychically.

Immersed in his thoughts, he didn't notice Marc watching him from the doorway. He only noticed it when Marc was sitting on the ground next to him. Kay looked at him briefly and returned his gaze to the ground. Thus, they stayed for a few minutes: silent and fighting each one with their own demons. Without speaking, Marc briefly brushed his chin with the back of his hand, then gently removed the cigarette from his fingers and sucked in a mouthful of cannabis. Kay let himself be done without even looking at him. "In spite of everything that was happening, the feel of his skin rubbing against him provoked the most exquisite sensations," Kay admitted dejectedly.

"Kay ..." Marc whispered without taking off his eyes of him.

"Not now ..." he whispered in turn.

Marc was silent. He knew there was no point in forcing a conversation that would end badly, so without further ado, he got up and went to bathe. When he came out of the bathroom, Kay laid reclining on the bed with his clothes on and snoring softly. Marc stood for a moment looking at him without knowing what to do. "Had he talked to Emma and it could be possible she had told him the truth? That's why he hadn't wanted to talk? "Marc was thinking, racking his brains trying to explore all possibilities.” Most likely that's why he looked so sad ... he was so excited about the idea of being a father that discovering the opposite had devastated him ..." - Marc thought feeling sorry for him.

He approached Kay and carefully removed his boots and then covered him with a blanket. In order to sleep even for a couple of hours, the curtains were drawn and closing the door the room was left in darkness; then, he lay down next to him. "I'd give him space and time he needed to discuss the matter; now more than ever I should support him.” Marc thought a little more calmly while trying to fall asleep.

Several hours later, Marc woke up. When he turned, he noticed that he was alone in the room. He took his phone from the bedside table and, focusing his eyes, looked at the time: it was twelve o'clock. _"Scheiße!"_ He growled getting up. Putting on a shirt, he went down the steps slowly; Kay probably would be in the studio a little quieter and he could talk to him. When he reached the ground floor there were no signs of Kay; he searched the entire house just to confirm his absence.

"What now?" Marc asked as he sat down on the kitchen counter. He picked up the phone and dialed it. He was surprised to hear Kay's voice on the second ring. "What do you want, Marc?" He answered harshly.

"Kay, we must talk; I understand how you should feel but ... "He didn't finish speaking because at that moment Kay interrupted him:" No, you have no idea how I feel "-and saying this he cut the communication.

Kay had gotten up a couple of hours earlier and, changing his clothes had run. He was going for the second round of the circuit when it melted. The excesses of the previous night were taking their toll, so he decided to sit in a clearing of the forest where the view of Lake Starnberg was sublime. After cutting the call, he recriminated himself. He was handling the problem between them very badly; In spite of feeling hurt by Marc's doubts towards his son, it was not the way to confront him, since the only thing he was doing was to further distance the possibility of reconciliation.

An hour later, he got up and headed home. He would talk to him and establish his position, waiting for Marc to accept it.

Lying on the futon in the television room he watched videos until the dream again beat him. The phone bell woke him and taking the call he heard the deep voice of Jörg: "How are you, Marc? Could you talk to Kay? "He asked honestly.

" _Nein leider nicht_ ... it seems to me that he spoke with her because I noticed him very sad" - Marc- confided to Jörg.

"And what are you going to do?"

"I hope to talk to him today; now he's not here, he came out before I woke up so I'm waiting for him ...”

"I hope you two can fix things Marc, I don't like looking you bad ..." Jörg told him.

At that moment Kay was returning home; upon entering and not seeing Marc he went up to look for him because he needed to settle once and for all their misunderstandings with Marc. The door of the TV room was open so he could hear Marc's voice talking to someone. The moment he was about to enter, he heard Jörg's name; At that point, a feeling that he didn't identify paralyzed him. He stood still struggling with his emotions when he heard:

"Do you know Jörg? I've been thinking what you told me about being with someone who gives me more stability ... "He didn't finish the sentence because at that moment, feeling observed Marc turned around only to find a pair of icy blue eyes that looked at him bewildered.

Their eyes met for a few moments before Kay left and down the stairs.

"Jörg, I'll call you later; Kay is here ... "-saying this, he hung up and hurried down to reach him.


	61. Fury

**61: Fury**

**Kay / Marc**

As he went down the stairs, he felt how the fury was taking over him. "I knew it…! He knew that these recurring encounters into the bars, the calls and the closeness to Jörg were not a coincidence; his greatest fear was coming true and in his head, Marc's words echoed over and over again. "Jörg had offered stability and Marc was considering it? _Was zum Teufel!_ "He hissed in anger.

At that moment the anger blinded him ... he felt unable to calm down because apart from the anger, there was another feeling emerging: disappointment. After all they had lived, he thought that Marc wouldn't be able to turn his back on him ... Until a few days ago he'd have put his hands in the fire for him since, stupidly, he believed that his love was much more solid, but when he heard him talk to Jörg, he realized how wrong he was.

Unable to imagine what was going through Kay's mind, Marc walked down the steps as he thought of the right words to comfort him. He knew it would be complicated, but he would be there for him as long as he could get over it soon. When he reached the floor below, he saw Kay sitting on the sofa staring at him. The coldness he noticed in those blue eyes frightened him.

In seconds, he began to feel a chill running down his back. It looked as if Kay wanted to kill him, so he cautiously moved toward him.

"Kay, can we talk?" Marc asked, vacillating without thinking that his passive attitude was understood by Kay as an act of repentance.

Kay looked at him and Marc could not hold his gaze, turned his face away; "Is he cheating on me?" He thought paranoid. He was trying to control himself, so by clenching his fists on either side, he got up and breathed deeply, muttered: "I hear you ..."

Marc didn't know how to start, hesitantly he said: "Kay, I understand that you must feel devastated for what happened ... but I want you to know that I'm here to support you ..."

Kay listened without understanding what he was talking about until he finally caught.  That was the straw that broke the camel's back and without being able to contain the anger that he felt, he responded raising the voice: "What are you talking about? According to you, why should I feel so bad, huh? "He concluded advancing to him to the point of rubbing the foreheads against each other.

Marc looked at him and taking two steps back he replied: "On Emma's deception, of course ..."

"Do you continue with that stupidity?" He answered shouting. "I want you to understand once and for all that Emma's son is mine." "Do you get it? It doesn't matter how it was, but she and I had sex and the result is my son, even though it's hard for you to understand ... I don't want to hear you say the opposite again; Don't make me choose because it's a fact that you will lose ... "

Marc was livid ... he couldn't believe that Kay still thought the same regarding that baby and the attitude he was taking began to desperate him: "But Kay you need to understand ...! Didn't you hear what the doctor said? "He screamed in exasperation.

"I don't want to hear you, what do you not understand?"

Marc, losing his patience, reproached him: "What's the matter with you, eh? Are you so stupid or so blind to not realize what is obvious? "Or have you already liked playing mom and dad?" He asked hurtfully.

When Kay heard that, lost control and as if Marc was a criminal, taking him from the lapel submitted him; Kay pushed Marc hard against the wall while holding him firmly by the throat with one hand and with the other he held his right fist, pressing his body hard against Marc's. Kay wanted to hurt him. His eyes were glazed and showing his teeth as he spoke, hissed in a hoarse voice due to jealousy:

"Is this an excuse to break up and you can have the opportunity to be with Jörg? Isn't that, huh? Are you two, making fun of me? "He shouted at him.

Then, Marc reacted and pushing him hard he was able to let go of his embrace. "Stop it! What the fuck!? Listen ... Are you crazy Kay? "

"Between Jörg and I, there's nothing ... What are you saying?" Marc asked in astonishment, not believing what was happening.

"I'm not stupid, I know Jörg perfectly! I've seen both of you ... and a moment ago I heard what you were saying, "he shouted angrily.

Marc reacted. "Of course ... Kay had arrived just when he was telling Jörg about stability but he hadn't finished the idea ..." he thought wounded. Everything was getting out of control; far and away from solving things, they were getting worse.

"You're categorically wrong Kay, things are not as you think ... Not with Jörg, nor with Emma "-he finished by challenging him-.

Kay felt a mixture of anger and spite. Rage to continue listening to Marc talks about his son and not give him the support that Marc had promised, and on the other hand, he felt hate to imagine that something was happening between Marc and Jörg.

Suddenly, as if he had lost the fight, Kay lowered his arms and breathing deeply, he sentenced: "I reached my limit. We're done."

Marc remained static; he didn't believe what he was listening to, so he asked, "Are you serious?"

"I had never spoken as seriously as at this moment; I can't live with someone who doesn't accept my son and who is fooling around with someone else." And saying this, Kay turned his back on Marc as he made his way to the top floor.

Marc felt as if he was beginning to float, he didn't feel the ground around him and dizzy, he leaned against the wall watching Kay move away. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tell him how wrong he was, to reproach him for how stupid he was to think that way and not realize that he just wanted to help; He wanted to tell Kay so many things ...

But at the end he didn't say anything; He didn't have the strength to do it, so he mechanically left the house. "He didn't know what he had done wrong. Where was the mistake? At what point had things been distorted to that point? The only thing he tried was to protect the love of his life. He had loved that baby as much as Kay, but he couldn't let Emma want to cheat on him like that. "

From the window of their room, Kay watched Marc walk at a slow pace with his eyes fixed on the pavement. As Kay watched him walk away, a hole in his chest was opening more and more causing unimaginable pain; leaning against the cold glass let out a sob and tears began to slide down his cheeks. He remained motionless until he lost sight of him; his fingers slipped between the tears that wet the glass. He felt like dying inside.

Marc walked on the sidewalk like an aimless automaton, trying to process everything that had just happened. He didn't know when he reached the shore of Lake Starnberg, but it was true that he didn't care either. Marc sat down on the grass and looked back. From where he was, he could see his house on top of the hill. He pulled out his cell phone thinking about calling Jörg; He wanted to vent and tell him everything that had happened but when the screen was unlocked, he watched with infinite nostalgia the photo that had as wallpaper: in it was Kay asleep on his back on a sofa and Matt -his little son- was asleep peacefully on Kay's torso. He remembered perfectly the day he had photographed them, they had been living together for a year and he was coming back from work when he found them, he wanted to immortalize that moment.

Looking at the picture, Marc collapsed; He could no longer contain his despair and covering his face with both hands let out a sob. He knew there was no one around, so giving free rein to his emotions, he stopped fighting and he let go the sorrow.


	62. Sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can enjoy this chapter as much as I did...  
> Thanks again for your comments & kudos :)

**62: Sorrow**

**Marc**

Marc came back home when it started to dark.  He’d unburdened enough to feel a little bit calmer; nevertheless, sorrow still provoked him the sensation to have a big hole in his chest.

Outside was Kay’s car; however, when Marc opened the door, there were no lights. “For sure he went out to jog” –He thought relieved not to found him on his path-.  Marc turned on hall’s lights, and he did the same in the living room and the kitchen since the darkness made him feel worst.  When he reached into his bedroom, he was able to visualize Kay sat on the bed in complete darkness.  He turned on the lights and both looked at each other. 

Kay’s expression said everything: he looked same or even worse devastated than him; however when their gazes met automatically Kay changed his expression and getting up took a suitcase that was near to his feet.

“You came…” –Kay pointed-.  “I just wanted to tell you that you don’t need to leave.  If you want to you can stay here and pay house’s bills, I’m going to look for another place”. –He assured showing an inexpressive face as if he was a poker player.

Marc looked at him.  Despite how bad he felt because of all what was happening, he decided not to show beaten in front of him.  “He doesn’t deserve it” –He thought wounded-.  Marc was so tired to fight against him and to demonstrated him how wrong he was, that he only could say: “No problem, I’ll take care of the house” –and without waiting for an answer, he went out from the room -.  He felt hurt in the deepest, so when he heard Kay’s paces headed to downstairs he didn’t do anything to prevent him from leaving.

Next morning, Marc had a hard time getting up due to the night before he couldn’t sleep thinking how easy had been for Kay to aside him from his life no matter the reasons to do it.

At the moment Mac arrived at the unit, he went straight to his office and closed the door.  He didn’t want to see anybody, especially Kay.  He knew if he did so, he’d get down right there and he’d ask him to rethink about all absurd decision. So, to avoid that painful situation he stood there all day long.

The afternoon went between paperwork and meetings which helped him to forget for a moment his personal issues.  When he looked the clock, this marked time to go home, but as he knew nobody was waiting for him at home, he decided to stay working for a while.

The sound of the phone brought him out of his musings, when he picked up, heard Jörg’s profound voice: “Marc, I’ve been thinking of you all day long, how things are going?”

Making a grin of sadness, he responded: “They can’t be worst; Kay and I broke up” –Marc declared with a choppy voice.-

“ _Scheiße!_ What are you saying?

“I’m saying that we haven’t been able to fix our differences; Kay stills think that Emma’s baby it’s him and… well… you can imagine the rest” –Marc ended with a whisper, not before deciding it wasn’t worth to tell him about jealous scene Kay performed because of his friendship with Jörg-.

“I can’t believe the way Kay is influenced by Emma… As a matter of fact, I called him before but he didn’t take my call… I imagine he doesn’t want to speak with anyone” –Jörg pointed ashamed.

 _“If you knew”_ – Marc thought, at the same time he turned off his computer.  He had had enough for this day-.  “Jörg, can we talk later? I really don’t feel good today” –He recognized-.

“Marc, I really hope things can be fixed; nevertheless is not good for you be alone…” “Do you want me to pass by and go out to dinner? –He offered-.

“ _Nein…Danke_ but tonight I’m definitely not in the mood.  It will be another time” –He said hanging the phone.-

Almost at ten pm, he parked his car in the garage.  He entered his house and turned on all the lights; he felt alone.  He headed directly into the kitchen and opening the fridge started to take the ingredients to make a sandwich.  Sitting on the kitchen’s counter, accompanied his dinner with a beer while he remembered with infinite nostalgia the last time he had Kay sat exactly there.

Friday morning, -same as the previous days-, Marc went straight to his office.  Certainly, he hadn’t a lot of work due to all week he left the office until he finished the pending’s work.  He was looking forward to finishing the office’s hours to arrive a messy house and lock himself up all weekend.

Bettina and Bernard had gone out of the city to spend the weekend with Matthias and other friends, so passing the day with his son was not an option.  While he lamented for it, his phone started ringing –and for his surprise-, he heard his mom’s voice, greeting him affectionately and asking when he’d go visit them.  Marc whispered before assure her that he had a lot of work but he’d go in a couple of months.

Once they hung up, he remained quiet for a few minutes thinking about the reencounter with his parents had gone.   Thanks to the family bond they had, his parents accepted the decision of him living with Kay. At the beginning, it had been uncomfortable, but little by little things tended to be almost like they were before. What was true about this, only a few times they had gathered, and Kay hadn’t been present.  “It would be until Christmas when they would gather for the first time” – he remembered sadly. - “Well… get over it Borgmann, because it seems that’s not going to happen” –he recognized nostalgically.

Kay hadn’t called him, nor had he seen him in the unit thanks to his choice to stay locked up in his office.  The only track of him was watching Kay’s car parked every morning.  It seemed Kay was going earlier than usual, but all nights when Marc left the building only his own car was parked in the space designated to the heads of each division.

On the other hand, Jörg had phoned him almost every day during a week, but all times Marc had refused to see him since he still didn’t feel like talking or seeing anyone.  That Friday was not the exception; while he archiving some documents, his cell phone started ringing. Unlike the first times, when he thought maybe could be Kay and his heart started beating, he took it off from his jacket knowing in advance that it would be Jörg.  “I wasn’t wrong”- he thought with a touch of sadness; he missed Kay the unspeakable, however, his silence seemed to indicate he wasn’t reciprocal.

“Jörg…” –he said to him in greeting -.

“Hey! Marc, How you doing man? Are you already in a better mood?” –Marc heard a cheerful Jörg-.

“Jörg had the faculty to bring him a smile, even in the worst circumstances” –Marc recognized as he answered with a smile: “Not really, but thanks for asking”.

He heard a snort of exasperation from the other side of the line before saying: “Too bad Marc… and the worst is that you’re doing nothing different to make it change, isn’t it?”

Marc didn’t contradict him and again giving him thanks rejected his offer to gather for dinner.  When he arrived at his home, he didn’t surprise at all to see Jörg sitting on the porch of the house. He knew him well and he knew despite his denials, sooner or later Jörg would look for him.

I let you on purpose alone all these days you could lick your wounds… but the time is over my friend, and it’s time at least you try to feel a little better”- Jörg told him in a greeting.-

Marc thanked in silence the perseverance of his friend and trying to smile he shook his hand.

Jörg, smile at the time, hugging him strongly.  It was a fraternal hug, to make him feel he wasn’t alone.  At the same time he hugged him, Jörg ran his hand down Marc's neck just for a moment and then he released him.  When they entered the kitchen, Jörg looked at Marc affirming: “This seems a battle camp”. “Certainly order isn’t one of your strengths, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I know… doing the house cleaning is one of my tasks for this weekend” -he acknowledged with annoyance -.

“Let’s do something, I’m going to talk to the lady who helps me clean my studio and I’ll ask her to help you clean up, what do you think?"

Marc wasn't so sure that a stranger entered his house, however, when he saw the column of dirty junk, he accepted immediately. "Gut ... you've convinced me."

"Well, the issue of cleanliness has been solved, let's go to dinner ... I'm starving and certainly we can't do it here," he said, glancing at the messy kitchen.

Due to Jörg's insistence, he finally agreed to accompany him. "We're going in my car and once we're finished, I'll bring you back, hermit" -he joked, getting into the BMW.

After twenty minutes in the car, Marc asked uneasily: "Can I know where we are going? We couldn't have chosen any of the restaurants that are on the shore of Lake Starnberg?

Smiling Jörg replied: "Of course not. We'll go to one of my favorite places, I'm sure you'll love it”

In response, Marc could only raise his shoulders in resignation. When something excited Jörg it was hard to make him change his mind.

They parked the car on _Johann-Fichte-Straße_ and about two hundred meters Marc could see the place. At the entrance, there were some gargoyle statues and with red letters could read: _TANTRIS_. It was a too formal restaurant for Jörg's style and the diners were almost couples.

"Are you sure it's here? Marc asked jokingly.

"Why do you doubt it? The food is excellent and the service and atmosphere the best. It's just what you need to forget a little about your problems ... Trust me, my friend. "Jörg smiled.

"Jörg hadn't been wrong," Marc thought as he savored his saucer. The food was amazing and the service the best. While savoring the red wine Sommelier had recommended, he was grateful that Jörg was with him.

On more than one occasion he made him laugh out loud at the occurrences he told since the conversation with him was always entertaining and made time fly by.

" _Danke_ ..." -said Marc-.

"Why? To get you out of the cave where you are literally living hermit? "He replied with a smile.

When Marc heard it, he laughed, when suddenly he noticed that someone was touching his shoulder and Jörg's expression became serious.

When he turned to see who could be, his face contracted when he saw a smiling Emma looking at them curiously. And three steps behind her, and without even noticing their presence, Kay was approaching.


	63. Loneliness

**63: Loneliness**

**Kay: _one week before_**

**Kay looked for the last time the lightened house before to get up in the Audi.  From he was stood, he can see Marc’s silhouette walking through the room.  Deep down, he had the certainty to be committing the worst mistake in his life.**

  
He was aware that this rapture could cost him to lose Marc definitely, letting the free path to Jörg to conquer him, -if he didn’t achieve it yet-.  But all suspicions about that possible cheat, in conjunction with his wound pride, they prevented him from turning back.

Exhaling a whisper, he got up into the car and started at full speed. _“Scheiße!”_ –He muttered already regretted feeling the fear in the stomach, while he took the freeway which would take it to Gauting.

He was in the middle of the way when without any advice he ran over from the path.  He stopped the car and turn off the engine.  He rubbed his face with both hands hugging the steering wheel he laid down on it.  “What was he doing?” –He thought desperate-.

He was very aware he needed to grab something because if not, he would turn crazy.  Because of that, and without thinking, he had decided to look for Emma to be closer to his baby.  “But at that time of the night, she would be asleep and he had to work the next day". -He considered anguished-.

“Shit!” –He shouted-, and without contained for one more minute, he started to cry.  Parked in the middle of nowhere, he was looking the dark way thinking that this was how his future was glimpsed. He only wished his baby was born and Emma could fulfill her word to give him to him.  It was the only idea that would maintain him with the strong enough not to commit a stupidity.

After a few minutes and more calm, he switched on the car to head to the center of Munich.  He’d look for a hotel to stay that night due to he couldn’t come back to his house after all recriminations that he had told to Marc.  He should have thought with more calm the situation, before ending their relationship.

That night he felt fatal; No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't avoid that feeling deep pain in his chest that began at the precise moment of saying those words: "I reached my limit. We're done. " Therefore, almost all night was in vigil tossing and turning in bed, trying to discern at what point everything had gone to hell. It seemed that life was laughing at him and that for one reason or another he couldn't be fully happy. With that thought in mind, he began to go back in time, remembering the moments that had marked him deeply.

"Throughout his life, he had only been able to enjoy flashes of happiness." He thought dejectedly. Once he discovered his sexual identity and had the courage to recognize it, the difficulties began. First, his own parents who never accepted him, so he decided to get out of his house and never having contact with them again. He rarely talked about them or how he felt the fact of not having them around, but the reality was that he weighed a lot. And on the other hand, having to deal with obtuse-minded people, who criticized his preferences was something that had had to overcome over the years and more in the work environment in which he was lived, where "in theory", all of them had to be toughs men and heterosexuals.

Throughout the years, he never maintained a steady relationship until he met Marc. Before him, his life was basically to go out with any guy that seemed attractive, but beyond sex, there was no complicity that made him want to stay more than a month with any of them.

On the other hand, he remembered perfectly the first time he had seen Marc. He had already arrived at the Academy a couple of weeks ago and had settled in his room; there, he enjoyed the solitude, since he didn't have to share a room with anyone until Brandt -his superior- informed him that he would have a new partner.

That Sunday afternoon, he ironed his uniform for the next day and settled on the bunk to start reading "The Perfume" by Patrick Süskind. Immersed in the reading, he barely noticed when the door opened and an attractive man with green eyes and almost his height, entered the room. When their eyes met, he immediately felt a twinge of desire that he quickly dismissed. They greeted each other briefly and Marc introduced himself, after that he started to accommodated his kinds of stuff. He was a man of few words, but there was something in Marc that inevitably attracted him since the beginning.

"Marc ..." Kay said evoking his memory. With Marc he had lived many things; more good than bad things, since Marc was the cause of the most bitter loneliness he lived, when he left him for the first time; but, he also could experience the deepest happiness once they decided to live together and share their greatest desires.

That first year living together was the most wonderful of his entire existence. And not only because they understood each other perfectly, but because they shared many things together; sex with Marc was by far the best he had experienced, but also discovering the tenderness that hid in that facade of a hard man, made him fall madly in love with him. For the first time, he was not lonely, he knew that he cared about someone and that whatever happened Marc would be there for him. It was true that as in all relationships, they had fights but always had the certainty that this love was forever.

"At what point did things begin to fucked up?" Kay asked himself again and again. Today more than ever, he was not so sure that both were able to overcome this ordeal, and that caused an infinite sadness, not only because of the possibility that the differences that today had become irreconcilable, but also because if this breakup was definitive, he couldn't live with Matthias anymore. He loved that little boy as if he were his son and the thought of not seeing him again broke his heart.

When he remembered everything he had lived with Marc, a name appeared in his mind: Jörg. Regardless of how, given the circumstances, he had become closer to Marc, he would always be grateful for the support he showed him when he was in a coma at the hospital.

"Shit! What if he had exaggerated about Jörg? "With a cool head, he began to reflect on what had happened. "What if jealousy had blinded him and there was no romantic feeling from Jörg to Marc?" he knew him well and now he wasn't so sure Jörg would be able to betray him.  The reality was that he didn't know what to think anymore, because of the fact that Marc had let him go without fighting for him, made him feel hurt.

Even after declaring that everything was over between them, he waited for him on the pretext of the house, wishing Marc would stop him, tell him that he loved him and that he understood. But none of that happened, he let him go so easily, it made him think that Marc had tired of him. "What if Marc was the one who started having different feelings for Jörg?"

He didn't know at what moment the dream overcame him, but all those doubts continued to torment him exceedingly. The next morning, sleepless and with his mind revolt, he went to work. The days were eternal; basically his routine consisted of arriving at the unit very early and taking refuge at work, later returning to the hotel or going to visit Emma. On more than a couple of occasions he was about to call Marc but every time he regretted it at the last moment. "What was he going to say? What if he didn't understand how important the birth of his son was? There was nothing that hadn't been said before and that could fix the situation between both of them. "Kay thought sadly".

The first two days, he didn't see Marc in the unit which seemed strange to him, but on the other hand, he was grateful because he didn't know how he would react when he saw him. By Wednesday, it was clear that Marc was avoiding him since he didn't appear in the dining room and had canceled his attendance at one of the meetings they had scheduled together; instead, he had sent one of his subordinates to attend to it.

On Thursday, tried to catch up him, but his efforts were vain, so resigned once his turn ended, he got in the car and left. On the way back, without explaining why, he deviated towards the exit to Starnberg, only to stop the car a few meters from his house and to miss the life he was leaving behind. Sitting behind the wheel, he looked towards the house and felt his heart shrink.

He remembered when they came to live there a few months before; it had been the beginning of a wonderful dream, where they would both share their lives.  Kay lamented silently. It was about half an hour parked at a considerable distance when he saw the red BMW approaching.

For his peace of mind, Marc came home alone. He parked the car and descended from it. Kay could see that his bodily expressions showed sadness, he was drooping and walking at a slow pace; Marc didn't notice his presence. He entered the house and later Kay could see how one by one, the lights were turning on. He remembered with nostalgia, that Marc hated the darkness and always went around the house turning on lights. He used to joke about it, implying that he was a "pussy", to which Marc only laughed and said that he and dark were not good companions.

He stayed a few more minutes, looking at what until a few days ago had been his home, not daring to do anything else. The reality was that he had only brought with him what fit in the suitcase, but there were still many things of him in the house. "Would it be the perfect excuse to call him?" He thought, almost immediately dismissing the idea.

He engined the car and left. That day had been to go to see Emma and the deviation had made him late to their appointment; so increasing the speed took the road to Gauting. When he arrived and knocked on the doorbell, he heard hurried footsteps approaching; when Emma opened the door, her face was such an annoyance that she couldn't or didn't want to hide it.

"Why so late?" she said by way of greeting.

"Yeah, well ... I had to stay longer in the unit and that's why I was late" -said Kay justifying himself-.

"Do you know that there are some devices called telephones? It's the least I expect from you. If you know you're not going to arrive at the promised time, it's your obligation to warn me so I don't have to wait for you ... "Emma reproached him.

"Wow, wow, wow ... calm down. It's not that bad "- Kay said a little annoyed-.

"What...? I remind you that I'm the mother of your son ... "she said, challenging him.

Kay took a deep breath, trying to calm down. She was really taking him off balance. The repentant and understanding woman that had been these months, had disappeared and in its place could only see a complaining and intolerant woman; she was changing her attitude radically. Since this wasn't the first situation in which she behaved like that.

Two days before, she had reproached him for not going to see her at the time she called him since she felt "indisposed". Even though he explained that he was in the middle of a meeting, and that going out he would go to see her, she didn't understand it. He had to endure about five minutes of recriminations before hanging up. Returning to take a breath and avoiding having a confrontation that could affect his baby, Kay just nodded and apologized.

"You're right, Emma. I should have called you; it will not happen again, excuse me "-he finished, although he felt annoyed inside.

Emma looked at him and grimacing as if she were a spoiled child, she replied: "It's okay ... I forgive you Kay; as long as you take me to dinner "

Kay didn't know what it was: if the problems he had with Marc or the bad attitude that Emma was showing, but each time he felt less tolerant. He longed for the moment when his son be born so he could take care of him and not have to see Emma again.

"Okay, let's go to dinner ... where do you want to go?" Kay asked.

"There is a place that I really want to go, which I have been recommended, but it is in Munich, so it could be tomorrow, Friday, to have time to enjoy the place and talk about our future" "What do you think? Of course, unless Marc doesn't give you permission ..." she finished without hiding her sarcasm.

Kay looked at her trying not to explode. "Be careful, Emma." She didn't have to know the problems he had with Marc so, holding his gaze, Kay said: "What time do you want you to pick you up?"

The woman smiling, answered: "At seven o'clock, do you agree?"

Kay nodding said: "At seven, it will be." "I'm leaving, to let you rest, tomorrow we'll see each other".

"But you just arrived! Stay even for a while, so I can tell you what the doctor told me," she insisted.

After an hour, he went out assuring her for the umpteenth time, that he would arrive punctually for her. He had made a great effort to follow the thread of the conversation since his mind was elsewhere. He was thinking of Marc.

The next day, he left the Unit to arrive on time for her, once they got in the car, he asked: "And what is that place you want to go to?"

"It's called Tantris, it's international food but the atmosphere is the best," she answered excitedly.

"I´ve been there," Kay replied, remembering the last time he had been there. It was Jörg's favorite restaurant and when they were dating he took it there a couple of times.

"What's up? Is it worth it?

"Yes, it's a good place and the food is very good"

"Well, there's nothing more to say, let's go!"

An hour later, they arrived at the restaurant. They left the car in the valet parking since Emma complained about not being able to walk too much because lately her feet were swollen. Almost when entering the restaurant, Emma remembered that she had forgotten her cell phone in the car.

"Go inside, I'll look for the cell phone and then I'll come with you," Kay told her.

She did so and while the Hostess was taking her to the table, Kay returned to the car over the phone. A few minutes later, he returned with the cell phone when he saw her from behind talking to someone. As she covered the visibility, he couldn't distinguish who she was with. It was not until he came close when he saw them.

In that instant, he felt the blood rise in his face. There, in Jörg's favorite restaurant, Jörg and Marc were having dinner. While Emma was talking to them, Kay noticed Jörg taking Marc's forearm with too much familiarity, leaving his hand resting on him.

"What the fuck !? He murmured stunned, feeling a void growing as he walked toward them.

When he reached the table, he looked at Marc. It was only for a moment since Marc immediately broke the eye contact; however, it was enough to make him feel a twitch in his stomach.           

"Kay, handsome ... look who's here. Why didn't you tell me that Marc would come with a friend to have dinner with us? Although it seems they were very hungry because they have already begun to eat ... Or is it that you didn't know either? And she continued enjoying the situation: "Upss ... looking your face it seems that you had no idea, right? It seems to me that Marc and you will have a lot to talk about after this, right? "Saying the last sentence, she turned to look at Marc, who was pale with his eyes fixed on the table.

Jörg, realizing what Emma was doing, intervened with the purpose of dissipating a little the tension that was being generated there. "Kay, buddy, it's nice to see you! He said greeting.

Kay wanted to pounce on him and hit him, but he held back. He didn't plan to make a scene in front of Emma, so with the best of his smiles, he said: "What's up man? I am also happy to see you. I knew both of you would meet, only not here.   When he finished saying the phrase, he turned to Emma and said," Come on, let's go to our table, the hostess is waiting for us ".

**Emma**

She smiled from ear to ear, knowing that something strange was happening there, although Kay tried to hide it. She knew it when she saw the uncomfortable face that Marc put on when he saw her. And when Kay approached them, she could realize that Kay didn't like to find his "lover" next to that manly man. "Perfect ... things couldn't be going better." "If everything goes as I think, I'll soon have Kay eating from my hand ..." she thought to herself.

Emma turned slowly to the table where both men looked uncomfortable and with her best smile told them: "Nice to meet you Jörg, we don't bother you anymore ... Kay and I go to our table" - and without saying more, took Kay's arm and pulled him gently.

With a murderous look, Kay looked at them. First to Jörg and then to Marc, who didn't hold his gaze and left without first making a gentle movement with the head.


	64. Surprised

**64\. Surprised**

**Kay / Marc**

**_"Scheiße! Ernsthaft?_ Of all restaurants in Munich, did they have to come right to this one? "Marc murmured as he glanced at Kay as he walking to the assigned table located just a few meters from theirs.**

"What can I tell you?" Jörg answered with a shrug. "It was a very uncomfortable moment ... but apparently, that woman doesn't know about the problems that you and Kay are going through ... Did you notice that Kay tried to hide it? He looks tense, even from here, I can see them and his face says it all, nothing good is happening ...”

"Jörg... Enough. Don't look at them," Marc asked, feeling increasingly nervous. "I want to go anywhere but not here; Jörg, ask for the bill, please."

"Marc, calm down ... they can't see me and it's not that I'm looking them all the time. It seems to me that you must calm down, you are very upset and it's not good to demonstrate in front of her how this affects you. Don't let Kay see it..." - He advised-. “Why don't we ask for a digestive instead of leaving as fugitives?" He asked trying to distract him a little.

"You're right, but I prefer something stronger" -he answered with a grimace-.

"Ask what you want ... you're here to relax and you're not going to drive... so, ¿what do you want to drink?"

Marc nodded, raising his hand to the waiter. This one approached and Marc said to him: "a Buchanan's Master on the rocks, please..." When the waiter asked Jörg what he wanted to drink, he asked for a coffee.

"Come on! A coffee… really?" Marc asked with a serious face.

"Okay friend, forget the coffee and bring me another scotch to toast with my friend," he said to the waiter, who nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

A whiskey became several more, which made Marc feel tipsy. "I propose something to you Jörg, drink with me, leave the car here and we'll return by taxi ..."

Jörg looked at him and agreed. It felt so good to be able to spend time with him that he didn't care about the looks Kay gave them. After all, they were not doing anything wrong and Marc looked much more relaxed.

"You know..." Marc told him at that moment. "Kay was the one who decided to end our relationship, without caring about my feelings." "It's amazing how easily he lets himself be manipulated by that woman ... but I'm sure he will sooner or later realize the truth..." -he concluded as he hit his glass against Jörg's.

"I hope so ... The woman is a harpy, it was evident how she enjoyed meeting us here; For a moment I thought about confronting her, but I realized that it isn't my role to interfere in this problem," Jörg confessed while he sipped his drink.

Marc only nodded and in one sip he drained the last drink from his glass. "I don't want to get home now. Let's go from here and go to a club; I want to dance and forget for a moment about everything ... "Marc suggested with a smile.

"Your wishes are orders to me..." -Jörg answered laughing as he called the waiter to ask for the bill.

Since they sat down, Emma didn't stop talking; first praising the place for having left-handed cutlery - which Kay could use them- and admire their vast wine list even though she couldn't drink because of her pregnancy. Then she took advantage of the situation to ask Kay if everything was fine between him and Marc. "Kay, are you okay? It seems to me that you didn't know Marc would be here having dinner with this attractive guy ... "she prompted.

Kay was making a titanic effort not to answer her not to get involved in his affairs and also not to get up from the table to confront both of them. He knew that it was his blame for Marc being with Jörg at that moment. "Emma, leave it ... Of course, I knew that Marc would meet with Jörg, only I didn't know they would be here ..." he lied. "Jörg is a good friend and sometimes we frequent him". He concluded the matter.

"Okay, I believe you. You don't have to convince me otherwise ... I only asked you because it seemed due to your face that you wanted to go to blows against them”. She challenged. "I just want to remind you that I'm sorry for what I did and that you can trust me." She replied with an innocent look.

"Thank you, but there's nothing to tell ..." he replied sullenly.

**The rest of the evening was martyrdom for Kay. He tried to pay attention to Emma but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop looking askance at the table where those two were. Marc had his back to him, so he couldn't see his face, however, he saw how Jörg made him laugh because he heard that laughter that he enjoyed so much and that caused him a jealousy that was burning him inside, accepting that lately Marc didn't enjoy like that when he was with him.**

On the other hand, he realized every time the waiter brought them something to drink. Each time, Marc was seen more relaxed, even as if Marc had forgotten that he was a few meters away from them.

 _"So ein Mist!"_ Kay thought when he saw them were clearly affected by alcohol.

"Do you want us to share a dessert?" Emma asked with a look of innocence, pulling him out of his musings.

"No thanks, but if you want to, ask for something for you ..." Kay answered.

"No, I think I'm already satisfied ... besides if I keep eating like that, I'm going to fat more." "It's better to leave, Kay. I feel tired and I'd like to rest ", she suggested, realizing that Marc and the other man were doing the same.

Once the waiter left the bill, Marc took out his wallet to pay, but Jörg stopped him. "None of that ... I invited you to dinner. Do you remember? "He said as he handed the credit card to the waiter and signed the voucher. Marc looked at him and thanking him, he proposed: "Okay, pay the bill, but from here we go to a bar and I'll invite you. Are we agreed? "Jörg nodded smiling and saying:" Let's get out of here; the taxi must already be outside waiting for us. "

While Kay paid the bill he was waiting for Emma to come back from the bathroom, looking desperately toward the exit. When Emma returned, he helped her put on her coat and they both left the restaurant. Kay went to the valet parking to ask for his car and caught a glimpse of Jörg and Marc getting into a taxi, leaving Jörg's BMW parked there.

He felt overwhelmed; clearly what he needed was to get out of that place immediately, leave Emma at her home and look for Marc. "He had committed a huge stupidity and should talk to Marc to try to fix things between them." He thought decided, as he opened the door to Emma and in turn surrounded the car to get away from there.


	65. Perspectives

**65: Perspectives**

**Emma / Marc / Kay / Jörg**

Once he got to Emma's house, he turned to the passenger seat, where she slept soundly. "She's definitely huge," Kay thought as he watched the bulging abdomen where his son was growing.

"Emma ..." he said as he moved her delicately. "Emma ..." -it wasn't until the second time he called her, that she woke up disoriented.

"We're here; I'll help you so you can get off, wait inside please, "Kay told her as he walked around the car to help her out.

Once Emma opened the door of her house, she invited him in, but Kay shook his head saying: "Thank you, but I must go; I'll call you tomorrow". And without giving her an opportunity to reply, he hurried away.

**Emma**

She watched with a stern expression as Kay started the car and left at full speed, leaving her alone in the doorway. Showing a gesture of annoyance, she turned around and headed inside.

Her house was only one floor, so it was relatively easier to move from one place to another because of her condition since in this last month it was difficult to move easily.

Once she got to her room, she began to undress to put on her pajamas; When she went to the bathroom, she passed in front of the mirror and stopped there for a moment to see her silhouette reflected; It was strange to realize how her body had become deformed at this point in her pregnancy, not only because of the bulging abdomen, but also because of her swollen feet, and even, her face looked different. "Who had said that pregnant women looked radiant?" She thought with a hint of sadness, remembering how distant she was from the sexy woman she once was.

With her fingers, she began to follow the lines of the stretch marks that crossed all over her abdomen while admiring the swell of her breasts, -they had grown considerably in the last weeks-, and a dark line that crossed her abdomen vertically, they completed her transformation.

She was afraid. It was a tangible fear for all the things that were hanging by a thread since a few months ago. It was funny to think that before she knew she was pregnant, she had made plans to have a child with Kay when he suggested that being a father was one of his most desired dreams.

Since she saw him for the first time, he had impressed her. He was a very manly and charming guy. Even when weeks later she heard the rumor that he was gay, she didn't believe it. It didn't seem so at all, and she absurdly thought that there could be something more than just a friendship. He was always nice and flirtatious with her, so that probably confused her thinking that she could change him. She was obsessed with him. She had always managed to attract any man and Kay was not going to be the exception. He was a challenge that she had set out to overcome.

But all her plans were ruined when she found out she was pregnant. A few weeks before, she had gone a party and she had drunk too much; there she met a couple of guys and she had sex with them. It was not the first time she had a threesome, but it was the first time that due to alcohol, she had unprotected sex. As a result, a baby was growing in her guts.

But when Kay confessed her that he and Marc had decided to look for a surrogate mother, she went crazy. She was not going to let Marc's plans ruined her life, and for that reason, she had decided to drug Kay. It was a lie that she felt repentant; at any cost, she had to get Kay to take care of her son and once the baby was born, she would tell him that she couldn't give him up for adoption. Thus, Kay would have to accept it and spend more time with her because of the baby.

With a little help, if she managed to complete her pregnancy, she could very well make Kay believe that the birth of her son had been several weeks ahead since this was something very common in first-time mothers. "Everything has to go according to the plan ..." She whispered for the umpteenth time, still looking at herself in the mirror.

**Marc**

He and Jörg were in the taxi on their way to _"Sinners"_ -one of the clubs he liked the most. Thanks to the effect of alcohol, he felt relaxed and really was enjoying the moment. He avoided thinking about the previous encounter he had with Kay and that woman.

When they arrived, they paid to the driver and went to the club. There was a huge line to enter, so Marc took out a cigar and lit it; he had barely given it a couple of puffs, when Jörg told him: "Come on, let's get in there, it's getting cold."

"Aha ... Don't you see that bunch of people who are waiting for getting in?" Marc replied while still smoking.

"Do you forget who you are with? We don't need to wait, come on now buddy... "

As Jörg predicted, when they approached the entrance, a corpulent man who guarded the entrance saw them and greeting him with a pat opened the door. "Jörg, I didn't know you will have a presentation tonight," he told him.

"I won't have it... we have come as spectators Will" -he answered in turn-.

"Very well, enjoy then" -the man replied, while he let them pass.

Once inside, they went straight to the bar; the place was crowded as always and the music was the best. "A group of people dancing, music at full volume, lights, and alcohol, made him feel the adrenaline in its purest state" agreed Marc, moving to the rhythm of the music.

Jörg asked for two tequila shots and giving Marc one, he shouted: "Let's forget everything, until the last drop Marc!"

Both men hit their cups and drank all the content in one gulp. Marc winced as he felt the liquid scrape his throat and both men laughed amused.

"What is this, tequila?" Marc asked, still laughing.

"What else could we drink?" Jörg answered, amused.

Marc nodded approving that statement and turned to look at the dancers. At that moment Jörg stopped laughing and changing his expression looked Marc from head to toe. It felt so good to be able to be with him that he slowly approached him and taking him by the waist told Marc: "it's time to really have fun."

When he felt his caress, Marc turned to look at him and nodded and let himself go. In the middle of the crowd, Jörg led him to the center of the dance floor; while they were dodging people, Jörg took the opportunity to take him by the hand and Marc let him do it. Once they were close to the stage, Jörg put his mouth to Marc's ear and rubbing it with his lips said: "come on, teach me how you move, _schön_ ".

Upon hearing that appellative, Marc lowered his eyes and timidly replied: "I'm not an expert, but if you insist ..." -and let himself be carried away by the alcohol running through his veins, and he began to dance.

The timing was perfect, the sum of the music and the company of Jörg managed to forget him for a moment of his problems and completely uninhibited kept dancing. He began to move with sensual movements to the rhythm of the music, while Jörg watched him feeling a strong desire.

Thanks to the darkness of the place, no one could notice how his pupils dilated as he watched Marc move that way, and how little by little he began to feel his body reacting to him. Due to the agglomeration, Marc rubbed him with his body and his hands, provoking endless pleasurable sensations in Jörg.

When the music changed intensity, Marc approached him and something told to Jörg, that he couldn't understand, but what he did notice was Marc's warm breath mixed with the scent of alcohol. He went crazy of desire. They continued dancing for a while longer and taking advantage of the situation, Jörg stroked Marc's arms and brushed his waist while sweating moving to the beat of the music.

They were both drunk enough not to care about anything other than having fun and having a good time. Marc just wanted to try to leave everything behind and enjoy the moment. He could still remember what Jörg had mentioned in the taxi on his way to the club: "Kay knew the place, because on a couple of times before you came back, I took him there," he had said. "Of course, he never took me there, but he did it with her ..." he repeated wounded.

Jörg was still dancing without breaking eye contact with Marc. As he watched him move, he wanted to take him by the hand and drag him into the bathroom. He longed to feel those lips against his, wanted to caress him and discover his body; He wanted Marc completely. His body ached due to desire. But still drunk, he had some sanity and knew he couldn't do it. Thus, breathing resignedly, he approached Marc and said: "Come on, let's go for a beer, I'm so thirsty.

Stood at the counter, they drank their beers when Jörg wanted to immortalize that moment. He pulled out his phone and, hugging Marc, he picked up his cell phone to get a selfie. Making funny faces they took the photo and without thinking about the consequences, Jörg uploaded it to his Instagram account. He felt happy.

**Kay**

When he arrived at Starnberg and saw the house with the lights turned off and Marc's car in the doorway, he felt helpless. _"Fick!"_ He growled, hitting the steering wheel with his fist. "Where can they be?" - He thought annoyed.

He took his phone to dial Marc but it was useless, after several attempts, his call was diverted to the voicemail. At that time, he saw that there was a status update on Jörg's Instagram. He decided to open it and when he looked at the picture he froze. There were Jörg and Marc holding each other grimacing. With the hashtags **_#fridaynight #drinking #myfavoritepartner #happytogether #peep_** and ** _#sinnersparty,_** both looked happy. He stayed a few minutes watching the photo trying to calm down. Never, in all his life he had felt as jealous and sad as at that moment.

Without caring about anything, he started the car and headed there. When he reached the center of the city, he parked his car on _Maximilians Platz_ and walked for the entrance. Despite the people waiting to enter, Kay went straight to the entrance and waved to Bill, who let him pass. " _Hallo_ Kay, I hadn't seen you for a while! Jörg is here with a friend," the security man told him.

"Don't tell me ..." Kay answered entering the club. As he made his way through the crowd, he repeated again and again how stupid he had been when he had decided to break up with Marc, giving Jörg all opportunities to win him over. "He hadn't been wrong ... if at any time he had doubted it, today he was clear about the intentions of "his friend"." He thought with a hint of bitterness.

As he approached them, Jörg saw Kay. Immediately he changed his face and getting up from the chair he waited for him. Kay came to Jörg and without a word pushed him against the wall that was a few meters away. He took it by the throat while with the other hand, he immobilized him. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Gritting his teeth, he yelled at him to make himself heard over the music.

Kay was breathing rapidly, looking for an answer in Jörg's eyes. Jörg, trying to get away from Kay, looked at him without answering. It looked like a power struggle when Kay, overwhelmed with fury, raised his fist to hit him. At that moment, Marc, who had already noticed what had happened, took Kay from behind and separated him from Jörg before he managed to punch him.

Kay turned only to see the angry expression with which Marc was looking at him. Trying to get out of his embrace, to finish what he had started against Jörg, he was also struggling with Marc. "Maybe it was the adrenaline rush of the moment, but seeing Kay subduing Jörg made him react despite how dizzy he felt." Marc reflected as he held him tightly.

With one arm, he hugged his torso trying to immobilize Kay, while dragging him away from Jörg. At that moment, two security men approached them and subjected Kay to escort him to the exit. Marc followed them. Outside, the cold hit Kay like a gust, forcing him to react. "What was he doing?" Kay questioned, breathing hard, due to the struggle. Never before, he had personified a scene like that; he was a quiet man who wasn't inclined to solve his problems with blows, but at that moment he felt overwhelmed.

When Kay could recover, he saw Marc approaching, with a murderous gaze, but before Marc could say anything, Kay rebuked him: "You forgot me so easily, eh!? Not even a week and you're with Jörg? How do you do it huh? Or you have been with him before we broke up? "He finished screaming without caring about the curious people who looked around.

Marc approached him, almost brushing his nose against his. Far from answering the string of stupid things that Kay had said, with a very quiet voice and grinding his teeth, he asked in turn, "How do I do it, Kay? Do you mean how can I accept the fact that you left me for not believing in me ?, Do you want to know how I manage to get up every morning knowing how easy it was for you, abandon everything we have built ?, Tell me again, how selfish I am for not accepting that baby?  Who is the one, who turned the page so fast now? Answer me! Don't stay quiet!

Marc finished, holding his gaze. Kay was silent. He was surprised to see Marc's reaction so he didn't know what to answer. He felt lost.

At that moment, Jörg walked towards them. When Marc heard footsteps approaching, he turned and, recognizing Jörg, returned his gaze to Kay, saying, "I'm not going to allow you this kind of scenes, Kay. I'm not that man anymore. The one who was unconditional to you, even when you were unfair to me. I have changed...; you have changed me in all possible ways. Jörg and I are only friends and you won't spoil it with your jealousy without meaning.  You have no right ".

And he continued: "You lost that right the moment you broke up with me and left me, to go with her. Go back to your dream life, since the one you had with me wasn't enough for you. I'm the man you have left behind." And without waiting for an answer, Marc left Kay there and went to meet Jörg.

Kay felt desperate. He knew that Marc was right about many of the things he had told him; however, he had never seen him so cold and distant. He totally was fucked. He just stood there, looking at how Marc was going to meet Jörg.

**Jörg**

Taking a firm step, Marc left Kay and started walking towards Jörg. When he reached his side, Marc looked at him and asked if he was okay. Jörg could only nod. "Marc, are you okay?" He asked trying to read his face.

"Nein ... let's get out of here," he said, as he stopped a taxi that passed through the street.

Half an hour later, the taxi arrived at _Planegg_ , where Jörg's studio was located. They got out of the car and Marc, addressing the driver, asked him to wait.

" _Danke schön_ , Jörg," Marc said as he patted his back.

In response, Jörg answered the hug saying, "Why don't you stay at my house? It's late…"

Marc looked at him and thinking that Kay could go look for him at home, he accepted. "Okay ... thanks."

He turned to the taxi driver, paid the ride, and both of them walked through the door.

Once inside, Marc was to the guest room. He took a bath trying to remove the weight of the day and rest while he thought about what happened.

When he came out to bathe, he heard Jörg knock on the door. "Come in ..." Marc answered.

When Jörg came in and saw Marc with only a towel around his waist, he felt nervous. It was a very strange behavior in him since he had never felt so nervous because of someone else.

"Here, I brought you a blanket," he said, as he laid it on the bed. "Get some rest, Marc. I'll see you tomorrow" -and after saying that, he closed the door behind him.

Once in his room, he undressed and lay on the bed, recapitulating the events of that night, but mainly the discussion that Marc had had with Kay outside the bar. Hearing how Marc defended him against Kay made him smile.

"What are you doing to me, Marc Borgmann?" He said loudly. "Could it be the beginning of something deeper between the two of us? And Kay, what would happen to him?"

A series of questions pursued him, preventing him from falling asleep. He took out his phone and looked at the photo they had made together hours earlier. With his fingers, Jörg touched the screen, zooming in on Marc's face. He smiled. With his index finger, he touched Marc's mouth admiring it. At that moment, he remembered Marc only with the robe covering his waist. "He had a perfect body" -he thought as he began to have an erection -.

"I think you could make me want to settle down, Marc."

Then, a different feeling began to overtake him. A feeling that had been hiding somewhere inside him for many years.  Since he had suffered that disappointment, he had sworn never to fall in love again and be a free soul. But the reality was that every time he spent time with Marc, this feeling became more solid. At the point, of thinking about settling down, leaving aside the life of excesses that he carried and wanting to have something stable with him.

Marc made him want to be a better man, to have a steady life, to stop traveling, to be happy. He understood it now and knew why.

He had never felt the need to change, not even when he met Kay. At that time, Kay was for him a pure passion, a very attractive man, with penetrating blue eyes and a body like a god, who exhaled freedom. And both had enjoyed it. It was true that over time they had grown fond, to the point of thinking that he loved Kay, but now he was certain that this feeling was no love.

He was very clear that despite being separated, Kay and Marc loved each other. He couldn't ignore that fact, but when Kay decided to break up with Marc, gave him the opportunity to try.

He was always loyal to Kay, always tried to understand him even when Kay left him to go with Marc; He always respected his friendship, but now it was time to stop thinking about others and start thinking a little more about him. "Why should he always consider Kay's wishes, if Kay left him to follow his own heart?" He asked himself, certain that he was doing the right thing.

He switched off the light, silenced the phone and closed his eyes. That night he dreamed a life next to Marc.


	66. Choices

**66: Choices**

**Kay / Marc / Jörg**

**Kay**

Like an imbecile, with his gaze, followed the taxi that Marc and Jörg got in. The cold penetrated his bones, but it was what he least cared about; He was disconsolate because far from settled things with Marc, he had made it worse. He didn't know how to fix it; He didn't know if Marc's attitude was due to the break-up or for the fact of having Jörg in his life. Either option offered almost no chance of reconciliation. He could understand how upset Marc was, however, the way Marc had defended Jörg had left him speechless. With a slow and crestfallen step, he returned to his car and stomping the accelerator as a bolide heading to the hotel.

Once he arrived at the hotel, instead of going straight to his room, he stopped his way to the bar. Sitting at the bar, he ordered a scotch and started drinking. After the third drink, he decided to ask the bartender to leave the bottle. As if he wanted to punish himself, he pulled out his phone and looked at the picture of Marc hugging Jörg. He tried to read his look; He didn't know if it was because of how drunk he was, but he thought he saw an empty look behind that smile.

The bartender left the bottle on the bar while asking: "lovesickness?"

Kay looked at him with those intense blue eyes that reflected a deep sadness and nodded with a broken grimace. He wanted to get drunk to see if he could stop feeling that oppression in his chest that tormented him.

Near four in the morning, staggering, he went up to his room. The pain far from lessening, he felt it on the skin. As he arrived, he dropped on the bed while stroking the bracelet that Marc had given to him. It was as if with those caresses, he wanted to exorcise everything bad that was happening to him, and, by magic, Marc returned to him. He didn't know how long he had been looking at the bracelet until an uneasy sleep overcame him.

It was Matthias's birthday party, the child ran between the tables all over the garden, laughing and screaming with other children of the same age; a large tent was arranged in the center of the garden and housed several tables with white tablecloths. Kay was sitting on a shore, which allowed him to have a complete view of everything that was happening. At a table near where he was, he saw Bettina chatting with another woman he didn't recognize and at her side, Bernard, her husband took care of his son who had already begun to take his first steps. Beside them, there were Marc's parents chatting with their son.

From where he was sitting he could see Marc looking at him. Dressed in jeans and a green shirt, he looked extremely attractive and that color of clothes made his eyes stand out even more. Matty came running to where Marc was and hugged him tightly; Marc returned the hug while stroking Matthias's hair and both were laughing; Kay could see the love reflected in Marc's eyes. Suddenly, both father and son turned towards him. Marc looked at him and smiled at him; the feeling of that look flooded him with happiness.

"Play with your dad" -he heard Marc say to Matty without stopping looking at him. He was happy. The boy looked at him and began to run towards him with both arms open while shouting: " _daddy_ , _daddy_!"

Kay opened his arms to hug him, nevertheless, when Matty reached his side, he ignored Kay, and running shouted: " _Daddy let's play_!"

Kay followed the boy's path trying to understand what was happening when he saw him. A few meters behind him was Jörg, who was holding Matthias in his arms as the boy laughed and tried to kiss him; Marc looked at them smiling. It was not him he smiled at a few seconds before; it was Jörg ... who in turn was looking fondly at Marc while holding his son in his arms...

He woke up startled, his heart pounding and the unmistakable taste of fear in his mouth. He got up and went straight to the bathroom, with shaking hands, turned on the water tap. He rinsed his face and drank a few sips of cold water while looking at his reflection in the mirror. The dream had been so real that it had left him terrified.

**Marc**

He was awakened by the smell of coffee and burned hotcakes. For a few seconds, he felt confused since he didn't recognize the sheets that covered him. Little by little he was remembering the events of the previous night: the dinner, Kay arriving with Emma to the restaurant, Jörg and him dancing in the club and Kay threatening Jörg.

He knew that he had been hard with Kay for everything he had said; but the sum of everything that happened in the previous days, such as his abandonment, seeing him with her and Kay's behavior in the bar had made him explode.

Trying to be strong, and minimize the feelings that caused him to be away from Kay, he got up, brushed his teeth and left the room. When he entered the kitchen, he saw smoke rising from the stove and Jörg wearing an apron juggling the hotcake he was cooking. If he was bad, cooking, Jörg was even worse. When he saw him, Marc couldn't stop laughing.

"Are you having fun?" Jörg said.

Marc approached him and taking the shovel, he said: "Come on, stand aside and let me ... it seems that never in your entire life you have cooked an egg"

Jörg thanked him with a gesture, gladly handed him the kitchen utensil. "What are you talking about? I do it every day "-he answered without being able to contain the laughter -.

They had breakfast between jokes and laughter and when they finished, both cleaned up the kitchen; while Marc washed the dishes, Jörg kept them in the cupboard.

Suddenly, Marc was silent; he felt strange. Something as simple as that task reminded him of his relationship with Kay. It seemed unimportant, but it contained an intimacy that he longed for deeply. Jörg realized that something was wrong with him as it seemed as if Marc's switch had been turned off.

"Everything is okay Marc? He asked.

"Yeah ... it's just that I remembered Kay, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to feel bad... it's normal, it's only been a few days since he left, so you don't have to apologize," Jörg said, showing empathy.

"Yes, I know you're right, however, I don't want to talk about that ..."

Jörg looked at him and changing his expression said: "I propose you something. I have a presentation in Salzburg tonight ... join me. So it helps that you get a little distracted, we would return tomorrow at noon." "What do you say? Are you in?" He asked, unable to hide his nervousness to know his answer.

Marc looked at him and said: "I don't know ... Austria? ... I don't feel like going out and I don't think it's a good company ..."

"Are you kidding me? ..." Come on; say yes ... "insisted the man.

Marc thought as he watched Jörg. He was enjoying the time with Jörg, he was an amusing guy and that was better than staying the rest of the weekend at home, regretting not having Kay by his side ... "Ok ... let's go". He replied smiling.

"This is how it is spoken," Jörg told him without being able to hide his happy face knowing that they would spend the rest of the weekend together.

Once they finished cleaning up the kitchen, Jörg told him: "wait for me I'll pack my suitcase and in fifteen minutes I'll return to you".

Marc nodded and while he waited for him, he devoted himself to admire the collection of vinyl records that Jörg had on the shelves. Twenty minutes later, they took a taxi that would take them to pick up the car they had left outside the restaurant the night before. Once in the car, they went to Marc's house.

"Please don't forget to tell the lady who keeps your house clean, that I'll be waiting for her on Monday," Marc told him as he went up to his room to pack his suitcase.

"Yes, you know ... but I thought you would leave the keys. What won't you go to work? "Jörg asked intrigued.

"No, I've decided to ask for a couple of days and I'll take the opportunity to show the lady where everything goes," Marc yelled from the top floor.

Jörg, he only nodded and didn't speak about it again.

Half an hour later, both were in the black BMW of Jörg on the highway that would take them to Salzburg. Less than two hours later, they arrived at the hotel. While they were registering, Marc was on the phone with Bettina to find out how Matty was and to decide at what time he would pick him up the next weekend.

They made their respective check-in and as they climbed the elevator Jörg said: "Let's rest for a while and in an hour, let's go bowling, do you want to?"

"I'll give you a beating ..." Marc said, nodding.

They were playing for a long time, in which indeed, Marc won all the games and when they finished they went to eat. "You're not a rival," Marc told him jokingly.

While they ate, Jörg watched how Marc unconsciously touched the bracelet that Kay had given him and venturing to speak about this, he said: "That's the bracelet that Kay gave you, isn't it?" Marc looked at him and just nodded.

"And you haven't thought about taking it from you? I think that continuing to use it will only make you feel sad..."

Marc looked at him and changing his expression, he said: "I'm not going to take it off... it means everything to me".

"I know ... it's just that ... What if Kay has decided to take off his bracelet?" Jörg insisted.

"Even if that were the case, I won't do it ... okay? I don't want to talk about it anymore ..." - he concluded.

"I'm sorry Marc, you're right, it's none of my business," he said apologetically.

In the afternoon, they returned to the hotel to rest.  "See you in a couple of hours," Jörg murmured, closing the door of his room.

Marc nodded and did the same since both rooms were close to each other.

**Kay**

He had slept most of the day, and still, the throbbing was still hammering his head. "I won't drink like that again," Kay thought, trying to get out of bed.

Before taking a bath, he took out two pills of _Tylenol_ and swallowed them. Already in the shower, he stayed for a long time feeling the jet of water fall on his body.

When he finished, he went naked to the room to go for his clothes, when he heard his phone ring; He didn't answer, but when he picked up the phone to see who was calling he noticed that he had five missed calls, all of them from Emma. Quickly, he pressed her number and waited. Immediately, he heard Emma's voice. "Kay, come soon ... I feel bad, I think I'm in labor and the baby is about to be born ... I'm scared". She finished almost in a scream.

"Calm down ... I'm going there," Kay said as he took his clothes to get dressed and run to the car, feeling the adrenaline rush through him.

Thirty minutes later, Kay stopped the car in front of Emma's house, ran down and knocked the door. "Emma! Emma ...!" He shrieked as he rang the bell repeatedly.

After a few seconds, which seemed eternal, Emma opened the door. She was pale, his face broken by pain and sweat running down her neck. As soon as she saw him, she rushed towards him and hugged him. Kay could see the fear in her eyes.

Taking Emma by her waist both got into the car. "Breath, everything will be fine," he said in a whisper trying to reassure her.

Arriving at the hospital in less than ten minutes, during which Emma was shouting because of the contractions she felt. Once there, personnel of the hospital received her in the emergency room and admitted her to the operating room. Kay had never felt as nervous as at that moment. " _Gott,_ what if something went wrong?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair.

Sitting in the waiting room, watching the clock as it minutes progressed, without any response from the doctors, he was thinking: "There were two months left before the baby was born ... Why did it happening now?" He was thinking while he tugging at his hair. "What if something went wrong with his baby?" He felt martyred, looking every five minutes to the door of the operating room.

**Jörg**

In Salzburg, Jörg knocked on Marc's door. Seconds later, Marc opened, dressed in jeans and a gray polo shirt. He just shaved and the smell of the perfume he used mixed with his own essence.

 _"Scheiße!"_ Jörg thought as he watched him. A long time that he didn't feel so attracted to someone, as with Marc at that time. "Ready to have fun?" he asked with a smile.

Marc smiling said: "That's what we've come here, isn't it?"

They took a taxi to the bar where Jörg would play that night. When they arrived at the place, the manager and the personnel were already waiting; they gave them the best table in front of the dance floor and they opened a bottle of the best scotch.

They were drinking and listening to music for a long time until it was Jörg's turn. Jörg climbed the stage and mixed different rhythms that transformed him, making people do it too.

**Marc looked at him with a smile, while he sipped his drink and he swung to the rhythm of the music. The alcohol and the company of Jörg gave him a little of happiness even if for a moment he could forget the absence of Kay. Marc recognized that Jörg was a very good-looking guy; however, didn´t compare to what he felt when he looked at Kay.**

Jörg looked at him from the top of the stage, still playing very good music. It seemed as if his performance was only directed at Marc. As Jörg did so, he observed this man who was changing him completely.

"Today I’ll do it..." He thought without stopping observing Marc-. "Tonight I'll try it" - He said, watching Marc look at him and raise his glass to Jörg.


	67. Imbalance

 

**67: Imbalance**

**Kay**

Within the last hour, Kay walked from one side to another through the waiting room. He felt extremely nervous since it had been a long time since Emma had entered the operating room and he had no clue about what was going with her. "What if something went wrong?" He repeated for the umpteenth time.

A few moments later a doctor came out from the operating room, asking aloud: "Kay Engel?" As soon as he heard his name, Kay went straight to the doctor and with a small whisper, he answered staring at him as if trying to guess what he would say: "That's me ... I hear you, doctor".

"Are you the husband of Mrs. Emma Müller? -He asked-

Although the statement was not correct, now was not the time to explain, so nodding said: "Yes, please tell me how she and my baby are".

"It was a complicated intervention since we had to perform a cesarean because the baby could not be born by natural birth, however, everything went well. Congratulations Mr. Engel, you are the father of a healthy boy". -The doctor indicated him showing a wide smile-.

"Really?" Kay asked, breathing quietly for the first time that night, as he smiled and shook the doctor's hand.

"That's right, in a few more minutes; we'll bring your wife and the baby to their room. We're just practicing the routine check on the baby. "

"Thank you very much for the news; I was very worried because the birth came forward about two months, and I thought ... I thought something could go wrong ... "- Kay confessed, unable to hide his happiness.

At that moment, the doctor looked at him with a condescending expression, and said: "It seems to me that you are confused, the pregnancy was full term, there was scarcely a week to complete the forty weeks of rigor; your baby is in perfect condition, weighed three kilos seven hundred grams and measured 52 centimeters. "

Kay looked at him with an indecipherable face. "What was he saying?" Suddenly, he began to feel a twitch in his stomach; apparently, he had not understood correctly what the doctor had told him, so he asked: "What do you mean with forty weeks, doctor?"

"In colloquial terms, Mr. Engel, your baby was born at nine months of pregnancy, so there is no risk of anything, don't worry about anything ... I have to go, but as soon as his wife is installed with the baby, the nurses will let you know so you can go up and see them. "He finished, as he walked towards the nurse's office.

An avalanche of emotions began to flood him. "Nine months ... It couldn't be!" At that moment Marc's words began to make sense; "Was it possible that he was so stupid?" "Was it possible that Emma had cheated on him all this time?" "So, Marc was right?" All those questions were gathering inside him, as he began to feel sick and nausea flooded him ... he wanted to vomit.

Quickly, he went to the restrooms and slammed the door behind him, looked at himself in the mirror as he splashed cold water on his head. "He didn't know how to explain what he was feeling ... If what the doctor said was true, his biggest dream was shattering ..."

With an uncertain step, he went to the nurses' station and asked for Emma. "They'll take her to the floor in half an hour," the nurse told him. Kay nodded and took a seat to wait. I'll confront her as soon as I saw her, "he said to himself, showing a grim face.

**Marc**

Especially that night he felt a little better than the previous days; He didn't know if it was due to the fact of leaving Munich, Jörg's company or the atmosphere that was generated in that place, but the reality was that he was enjoying the moment.

He took out his phone and started recording Jörg while he was on stage, moving to the rhythm of the music is generated. When Jörg noticed what Marc was doing, he smiled and raised his hand pointing to him while at the same time, he was mixing the music. He didn't know what feeling was the one that made him do it, but without digging much into his subconscious, he uploaded the video to his Facebook wall.

Deep down he knew that Kay would see it and maybe that's why he did it. Although he didn't want to admit it out loud, he felt anger towards Kay because of the way in which he had broken-up with him and out of their life so easily. Marc wanted him to know that he didn't need Kay to have a good time and better if Jörg was with him because also, he enjoyed his company sincerely; and finally, he knew that Kay didn't like at all, see him with his ex.

When he finished his performance, Jörg came down from the stage and went directly to where Marc danced. "Did you like it?" He asked as he took a big sip of his drink.

Marc smiled and said, "You don't do it so bad ... ha ha ha" He laughed jokingly as he patted him on the arm.

"Well ... I do what I can" -he answered while laughing in turn-.

The music changed so they took the opportunity to sit down for a moment; Marc looked at him and said aloud: "Let's drink because of friendship" -as he clashed his glass with Jörg's; he, in turn, raised his glass and replied: "for friendship and for the pleasure of being here tonight" - nodding, Marc drank that amber liquid, and pronounced: "Thank you ..."

Jörg looked at him, feeling so good to be spending that moment with him, who answered sincerely: "Don't thank me, Marc; I do it because I've had the opportunity to meet you and I think you're a great guy who deserves to be happy. Besides, we had a good time together, right? "And without waiting for his response, he continued:" On the other hand, I'm sorry about what happened with Kay, but... "Marc didn't let him continue, he put his index finger to his lips while he said: "I don't want to talk about him ... at least, not tonight."

"Okay ... shall we dance then?"

Marc got up and without saying anything else he started dancing. Jörg stood up and imitated him. Thus, they spent the following hours: dancing, drinking and having fun in a big way. At some point in the night, both were already somewhat drunk, when Marc got up to piss.

When he returned from the bathroom, he saw Jörg talking to a young man who was clearly enraptured by Jörg's personality, so not to interfere with a possible flirt; he took his drink and walked a few meters away from them.

Jörg realized what Marc had done, so saying goodbye to the guy he was talking to, he went up to Marc. "Hey! What are you doing here?

"Nothing, I just don't want to interfere with your possible date tonight," he said laughing.

"Pfff ... Not at all, believe me, I don't intend to flirt with anyone tonight.”

"Okay, let's keep having fun"

They continued spending the night drinking and dancing, for a couple of hours, until Jörg turned to Marc and said: "What do you say, colleague? Are we leaving now?" "I think we have enough for tonight and if we stay here another hour, we'll finish totally drunk." He joked.

Marc, felt so good that he didn't want to leave yet, so he accepted not very willingly. When they were leaving the club, Marc lit a cigarette meanwhile the taxi arrived. But the wind and the cold felt made him dizzy. "Wow ... I think we have drunk too much", he agreed, feeling somewhat drunker.

"I told you ..." -Jörg answered feeling in the same ways.

On the way to the hotel, Marc fell asleep resting his head on Jörg's shoulder. When they arrived at the hotel, Jörg woke him up: "Marc, we're here". They got out of the car and walked inside. They took the elevator and started walking towards their respective rooms; the first was Jörg's and next to it was Marc's. He waited for him to find the card to open the door and once he did, instead of saying goodbye to Marc, he said: "What do you say, we take one more drink?”

Marc knew it was not a good idea, but a little voice in his head made him accept. "Why not?" He said as he entered Jörg's room.

Once inside, Jörg opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of scotch. "Wait for me, I'm going for ice."

Marc nodded and leaned back against the large bed. After a few minutes, Jörg returned with the ice and began to prepare the drinks. Once he did, he walked over to where Marc was and handed him his glass.

They were talking for a while, in which Jörg was the one who spoke the most and Marc only listened. Jörg had so many stories to tell and Marc was such a good listener that they stayed that way for a while longer. He remembered listening to Jörg, who told him about the last time he had been in Ibiza, but at some point in the conversation, the dream overcame him.

Jörg stayed for a moment watching him sleep. He felt more than tipsy because of alcohol, but also because of Marc's proximity. He didn't know what to do, whether to wake him up to go to his room or to lie down beside him and take the opportunity to sleep with him. He thought of Kay, but he had repeated over and over again that they were separated, so he shouldn't feel guilty about anything.

Thus, he was for a few minutes, watching Marc and rambling on about what he should be and what he felt when he was with him. Without thinking too much about the consequences, little by little he approached the bed where Marc lay asleep and sat down next to him. With one finger he followed the line of Marc's jaw; he felt his beard grow and his thumb slide to his lips. Ecstatic, caressed those soft and fleshy lips and slowly not to wake him was bringing his mouth towards his.

For a long time, he had wanted to feel that contact, so he didn't know if it was because of the need or the extra drinks, but he couldn't contain himself. At first, it was just a touch of lips, but little by little he deepened the kiss, without worrying about Marc's reaction.

At that moment, Marc began to wake up, believing that Kay was kissing him. Drunk, he could only feel how the lips kissed him timidly. Between the dream and the alcohol, his mind played a trick on him feeling the lips of Kay; so he unconsciously opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. He was delighted to feel how that sensual mouth introduced his tongue and kissed him with delight.

A few seconds later, Marc reacted. Those kisses didn't feel like Kay's kisses and also, Kay didn't kiss him like that ... when he finally remembered that he wasn't with him. Marc opened his eyes and then it was Jörg who was in his field of vision. With both hands, he pushed him away, while saying: "What are you doing? Don't…!"

But it didn't work. With exigency, Jörg caught his lips with his and began to devour him. Marc, who for a long time, no other man but Kay had kissed him, tried to resist that kiss, but before that momentum, his will began to give way and he let Jörg deepen in him. That strange sensation of feeling different lips to those that he was already used to, wasn't unpleasant, on the opposite, it made him experience new sensations. So instinctively, he opened his mouth and let himself explore while a moan of satisfaction came from him, enjoying the experience.

Jörg kissed him very well and that unbalanced him for a moment was that now he was who deepened the kiss and clung to Jörg desperately. He was enjoying... but suddenly the memory of Kay brought him back to reality.

It was true that he didn't dislike what Jörg did, and the desire was latent as he began to feel his body reacted with an erection to those caresses, but despite having broken up with Kay, he knew that if allowed the desire prevail, he would end up having sex with Jörg and the next day they would both regret it. So, by gathering all his willpower, he slowly separated from Jörg.

"No ... this is not right" -he emphasized, as he got up and left Jörg's room.

 

 

 


	68. Spite

**68: Spite**

**Marc**

It took longer to close the door than to feel Jörg taking him by the arm, saying: "Marc... _Bitte_ ".

Marc turned and looked at him. He was standing in front of him, still with his hand on the doorknob, his breathing ragged and his gaze imploring the need for him. For a few seconds, neither of them spoke; Marc watched him, as one observes someone for the first time. He felt confused... "How was it possible that what had just happened had awakened so many things in him?" Marc thought without daring do nothing at all.

"What if the closeness with Jörg was beyond a simple friendship?" He wondered as he watched him. He couldn't deny that he was an extremely attractive man, that scar that crossed his cheek made him look even manlier; Jörg was someone with whom he could spend hours talking about anything and lately, no matter the reason, they had become inseparable. Jörg made him feel special, made him feel the most important person when he was with him, gave him advice and supported him unconditionally, unlike Kay.

Kay ... lately, with Kay, everything was fights and disappointments. Although it was clear that he still loved Kay, living with him had become extremely difficult at the point of left the house. At that moment, Marc made a decision.

"People said that spite could be a very bad adviser and maybe they were right," Marc thought cynically, pushing aside the image of Kay, and without saying a word, he gradually approached Jörg, until he was only a few inches of him. Jörg looked at him with an overwhelming desire, while his pupils dilated. With great care, as if he didn't want to break that moment, he raised his hand, hoping to receive Marc's.

Marc moved toward him and shook his hand, accepting with it, what Jörg longed to give him; Marc wanted to see what Jörg would do for him. He wanted to prove to himself that he could feel the same with Jörg that what Kay was making him feel.

Slowly, they both returned to Jörg's room, and as he closed the door, Marc waited for him just a few steps away. As soon as Jörg turned around, Marc raised his hand and took him by the neck and without thinking much he put his mouth to Jörg's neck; He inhaled his scent and slowly began to nibble at the thin skin. Jörg, let himself be done, closed his eyes and only devoted himself to feel what Marc was doing to him. Suddenly, Jörg turned his head to Marc´s face, looked at him and put his lips to his. It was a shy kiss at the beginning as if he'd be afraid to feel the rejection at any time, but not seeing that this happened, Jörg, began to increase that caress intensity, devouring those lips that he longed for.

Marc felt those caresses and with his eyes closed he let himself dream; the effect of alcohol had already greatly diminished, thus, he could feel more clearly each of the caresses given by Jörg. Those caresses felt good; Undoubtedly, Jörg's sexual experience made him enjoy. However, the way he caressed him, the intensity of the kisses, the strength of Jörg's hands on him, were completely different from the way Kay loved him. "It wasn't better or worse, it was just different and the level of arousal confirmed that it wasn't unpleasant at all", he told himself as he let himself be done by Jörg.

With a fast movement, Marc pushed him and Jörg fell on the bed; once there, Marc climbed astride him and took both hands of Jörg, held them and raised them to his head. There he was able to observe more closely Jörg's tattoo in the shape of a shark that covered most of his right arm.

Jörg let himself be done; he never thought that what he dreamed about Marc was becoming true. He didn't know what would happen later, what Jörg wanted was to enjoy that moment, in which Marc delighted him with caresses that brought him closer to lust and pleasure. Marc, held both wrists with one hand, while with the other raised his shirt to deposit wet kisses on the torso, while with the teeth and tongue played with the nipples.

Feeling those caresses, Jörg, began to emit light gasps, stirring from under Marc. It was amazing what Marc was making him feel. Marc, sitting on Jörg, could feel how underneath him, grew that erection more and more, making the desire grow in him too. In an instant, Marc freed Jörg's wrists and felt Jörg with both hands entwined in his hair. At that moment, Marc stopped what he was doing and looked up at Jörg. When their eyes met, Marc could see how Jörg's gaze was pure passion, he was drunk with desire for him. Marc smiled to himself. He felt satisfied because he realized he could please someone else.

"Kay was not the only one," he thought. Marc needed that, so without thinking too much about the consequences, he began to kiss Jörg fiercely, with the word revenge dancing in his mind. Marc lowered his hand, and over the pants began to caress Jörg's erection, he felt that caress groaning with desire, opening his zipper to release his erection and give Marc opportunity to do what he wanted with him.

While with one hand he stroked Jörg full length, his tongue passed sensuously over Jörg's lips.

"Marc..." -he heard Jörg say.

"Shhh... do not say anything" - Marc said, continuing with that game-.

Unconsciously, he wanted to show himself and prove to Kay that he was also capable of provoking pleasurable sensations for someone else and wanted to punish Kay because of the way he had treated him the last time. The spite and the revenge were the feelings that at that moment dominated in him.

Thinking about it, he didn't notice, when Jörg unbuttoned his pants; it was not until he felt Jörg's hand on his erect cock that he returned to reality. He was extremely aroused, had days of not having sex and his penis under those experienced hands, was getting harder and harder, making him moan with pleasure. "Kay is selfish...  Kay deserves that I move on... He didn't mind the dream of starting a family together. In the end, he treated me as if I was an obstacle to his happiness and that hurt me in the deepest... "All these thoughts crossed his mind, while both were stimulated with hands and mouth... -.

"I just wanted to protect him ... and Kay left me without caring about my feelings once more" - Marc repeated in his mind, while as an automaton he caressed and let himself be caressed by Jörg. "Fuck you, Kay!" Marc finished with the feeling of revenge in his heart. Suddenly, like a bucket of cold water, came to his mind, the last time Kay and he had made love.

Despite the pleasurable sensations that Jörg provoked, it wasn't enough; there was something missing that he didn't want to recognize; it was the feeling Kay provoked in him. All those feelings came to him, when suddenly, and before he could react, his phone started ringing.

Both turned to where the sound came from and looked at the phone as it vibrated and sounded on the night table. Marc separated little by little from Jörg, while Jörg with trembling hands tried to dissuade him. He got out of bed and when he picked up the phone he couldn't answer; the call was lost. While he saw who had called, the phone started ringing for the second time and he could clearly read: "Kay."

 _"Scheiße!"_ He cursed under his breath, trying to control his breathing, he answered: "Kay?"

Upon hearing that name, Jörg sat on the bed placing both hands on his head, while looking at the dark expression of Marc.

**Kay**

_A few hours before..._

The next half hour was eternal. His head was chaos, within which all his dreams and hopes seemed to fall apart. In just a few seconds he realized how stupid he had been to allow her to manipulate him to the point of losing Marc and in a few moments more to lose that son he thought was his.

"Mr. Engel "-he heard a female voice that brought him out of his mental debacle-.

"Yes?" Kay answered.

"His wife and your baby are already installed in the room. You can go up to see them, 307 "- the nurse informed him, while with a smile she moved away from there-.

Kay got up and headed for the elevator. Although he had not spoken to her yet, he was sure of the answer. "What could she tell him to trick him again?" He thought sadly.

When the elevator doors opened, Kay walked slowly toward the room. When he got there, he took a deep breath, before turning the knob. When he opened the door, he saw them. It was a scene that in any other circumstance would have been the happiest of his life, but that night, only caused a mixture of deep anger and contained sadness.

Emma looked radiant and in her arms, a beautiful blond baby fed on her. Without saying a word, Kay approached until a few centimeters from them and without being able to take off the look of that tiny creature, he caressed him with great care of his temple. So, Kay stayed for a long time, until he heard Emma's trembling voice: "Kay ...?" When he heard his voice, as if coming out of a trance, he removed the hand of the baby and stared at her without being able to hide the contempt that he felt for her.

Immediately, Emma knew. Upon seeing Kay's face, her greatest fear came true. The way Kay looked at her, rebelled that he knew the truth. "I couldn't fool him," Emma thought, nevertheless, for some strange reason, that issue, moved to a second term. Since her baby was born and held him in her arms, something changed. Feeling that fragile creature depends on her, and how he clung to her by hearing the sound of her voice, made her realize how tremendously wrong she had been. Now, what really mattered was not to convince Kay, but to try to correct her mistakes and give all the love to that baby, who for so many months she had rejected.

"You knew it since the beginning, didn't you?" Kay asked, looking at her with suppressed fury.

Emma shrugged before that look, and could only whisper: "Kay ... I'm sorry" -while in a reflex act tightened the baby harder-.

Kay looked at her and said, "Why? Why did you do this to me? Who is the real father? "

Emma tried to recompose herself, while with a confused voice she confessed everything that had happened since the beginning. "I've been a bad person, not only with you but also with my baby; but now that I have him in my arms, I want to do everything possible to correct my mistake.  And about you... I release you from any obligation. You don't have to carry a responsibility that doesn't correspond to you ... "- she said, looking into his eyes-.

"Don't you understand?" Kay answered trying to control himself. "Do you have any idea what you have done to me? He said in a whisper. "Not only to counterpoint with Marc but to make me believe that this baby was mine... knowing what it meant to me ..." -he finished in a choked voice-.

"Kay... I'm really sorry," she replied regretfully.

"There's nothing you can tell me now or ever to forgive what you've done..." -Kay said, as he looked at them one last time and left the room.

He felt he couldn't breathe ... everything was falling apart around him. Now not only he didn't have Marc by his side, but also the possibility of raising his son had vanished in the cruelest way.

Instead of going down the elevator, he took the cube from the stairs and began to slow down... "He had nothing to hold on to, no one to lean on..." he thought as he leaned against the wall, let himself fall to stay sitting on his legs with both arms.

He looked at the clock ... it was almost dawning, but he desperately needed to talk to Marc; he knew that in the end, Marc could understand and comfort him, but more importantly, Marc could forgive him for all the stupid reactions he had... He needed him like he had never needed anyone before.

With trembling hands, he dialed the number 1 on his phone. He grimaced as he pressed number one since, despite having broken up with him, he hadn't erased his speed dial, he was number one and he would still be... Kay thought disconsolate while waiting for him to answer; Marc didn't answer, so thinking he might be sleeping, Kay tried again. In the second call, he heard Marc's voice, somewhat stifled: "Kay ...?"

"Marc... excuse me if I woke you up," Kay said in a choked voice. "But it's... I need you... _Bitte_ "

"What's going on Kay?" Marc asked, knowing the answer in advance and feeling his chest contract.

"The baby was born Marc... but you were right. Everything is wrong ... could you come, please? I know that I have behaved like an imbecile and that I didn't believe you... but at this moment I need you..."- Kay concluded, as he could no longer contain the crying".

Marc had mixed feelings. At that time, he had a huge desire to run away to be with Kay, but on the other hand, being aware of where he was, he began to feel guilty. "Kay, I can't go now... I... I'm not in Munich... I'm so sorry," Marc said in a whisper.

When Kay heard Marc say that he felt as if a knife was sticking in his chest, and slowly asked him: "Are you with him, don't you?" He asked in a whisper, feeling the strength leave his body.

Marc didn't know what to answer.  Marc stared around him: the wrinkled bed, Jörg and he half-naked, and Kay on the other side of the line, frankly devastated

"Kay..." Marc answered, when he heard Kay interrupting him: "Never mind, excuse me for bothering you" -and seconds later, he heard Kay cut off the communication.


	69. Heartbroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keep reading and any suggestions are welcome!  
> 

**69\. Heartbroken**

**Kay**

As soon as he hung up, he felt the blood rise in his face. Marc was with Jörg... He was sure. "When I asked him, he didn't deny it... _Scheiße!"_ Sitting in the cube of the stairs, Kay felt the fear in his stomach. "What if my greatest fear becomes reality and it's true that there is something more than friendship between them?" Kay lamented while at the same time, he was accessing Jörg's Instagram.

"If it's true that they are together, it will be easy to find out," Kay thought, like a madman, searching through Jörg's publications without success. He knew that Marc rarely used social networks; however, to rule out any possibility, he opened Marc's _Instagram_ and saw the last photo he had uploaded. It was a few months ago, but seeing that image made his heart shrink; there they were on their backs walking towards the lake, himself and Matty holding hands. And at the bottom of the photo, it read: **_"My two great loves"_** _#mylove #dadandson #happiness #hope_

Unable to avoid it, his eyes filled with tears and these, clouding his eyes, fell to the screen of the phone. With one hand, he wiped his eyes, longing for that memory, where everything seemed perfect. "At what point had everything been fucked up of making the decision to break up with Marc and leave his house?" Kay thought as he saved the image on his photo reel.

He started to get up off the ground, with the intention of getting out of there, when he opened Marc's _Facebook_ , and the feeling he felt upon seeing the recent publication was brutal. A live video, in which Marc could be seen holding a glass and toasting, then turning the camera over and recording Jörg giving his show in Salzburg. "I'm not in Munich ... He had said" -While Kay watched them both laugh and enjoy themselves in a bar in Austria ... "And what if they were staying together?" -.

He didn't know for sure what it was. If the recent discovery, or the sum of the previous events. But Kay began to feel sick. Nausea seized him and with great retching began to vomit. The scene was pathetic: kneeling, leaning against the wall in the cube of the stairs, vomiting and trying to hide the tears that slid down his cheeks.

"Is it true that I've lost you, _Meine Liebe_?" He wondered, staggering up from the floor and running down the stairs. "Where was that strong and self-confident man, who used to be?" He mentally punished himself as he left the building to his car.

While he was walking towards the parking lot, it started to rain; without worrying in the least to take shelter from the rain, Kay kept walking at a slow pace to the Audi. Once seated behind the wheel, he stared at the horizon, while his clothes slipped and wet the seat. He was stunned. Everything he feared most was happening.

That son with whom he dreamed so much, didn't exist and Marc, "his Marc" and Jörg were together. Marc was very reserved and unless he was extremely happy, he would record a video like the one he had just seen. And Jörg's smile, looking at Marc and pointing at him, only showed the pleasure and euphoria they felt together.

Like a masochist, he played the video over and over again, trying to memorize even the smallest detail. It was as if he wanted to punish himself for what was happening. "Everything is my fault..." He repeated as he watched the video once more.

Like a flashback, the scenes of the latest events came to him: Marc's reaction after the ultrasound and his attempts to make him understand; as well as his own response to Marc's attitude: severe and selfish words were the only things he could remember having said to Marc. The reality is that all this time since Marc knew Emma was pregnant, he always tried to support him. "How could he have been so blind and not realize it?"

"He preferred to believe Emma's lies than trusting the man who had taught him to be happy ..." Kay agreed sadly.

He picked up the phone and dialed Marc... but almost at the first second, he hung up, before even started calling. "Why do you want to call him?" "If you already know he's with Jörg... you pushed him to be with Jörg, by abandoning him without looking back". "Be a man and accept the consequences of your actions" -Kay reproached himself, while little by little his features began to change, changing from a dejected face to a determined one. He began to feel the adrenaline rush through his body and, starting the engine, he squeezed the throttle fully.

His vision was blurred by the tears that ran down his cheeks and the raindrops that crashed against the windshield. Kay held the steering wheel tight as he accelerated more and more, resting his head firmly, against the back of the seat. With one hand, he wiped the last tear, suddenly showing an unalterable face.

**He stared at the road, which in the darkness, looked like a wolf's mouth. He advanced without taking off for a moment the foot of the accelerator. He knew how fast his car could be and now more than ever he wanted to prove it. The speedometer marked 160 km/hour, 180 km/hour... he wanted more. "Come on!" He shouted as he hit the steering wheel with one hand and stepped on the accelerator. The car was flying and he felt like he was on a glider. That feeling of flying was so real that he imagined he was doing it at that moment. Suddenly, he stopped listening to the noise of the engine; he could only feel that sensation of softness around him...**

One by one the images were formed: a green meadow, a lake, laughter; himself and little Matt walking and playing together. The feeling of fullness and happiness seizes him while taking the little child by the hand, he can observe Marc watching them sitting on the shore of the lake; Marc makes a gesture with his hand calling them; Matty releases from Kay's hand and runs to meet Marc, both embrace each other... Marc holds him in his arms smiling, while he says: "Come Kay... stay with us...” Seconds later, Matt extends his little arms: "Daddy, come here with us, daddy, _Kaaaay!"_ \- He calls. Kay goes to meet them, but no matter how hard he tries, he can't reach them, there is something that moves him further and further away and he despairs...

Suddenly, he can't hear them anymore; they get farther and farther away, just as the image of both of them becomes smaller and smaller until it disappears... And instead, an asphalt track appears on the horizon... Kay can see himself, inside the car then. He's surprised by that feeling he has just experienced. As if he had been dreaming...

"What am I doing?" He thought, coming to his senses, while putting his foot on the brake, but due to the water that was spraying, he made the tires skid on the asphalt, so with both hands, he tried to control the car, which began to turn on its own axis, which caused Kay to hit the door, since he wasn't wearing the seatbelt.

They were just a few seconds, in which he had no control of the car, he only felt how he turned and thought that at any moment, any tree or another solid surface would stop that inertia. Miraculously, none of that happened. Little by little the car gradually decreased its speed until it stopped completely on the side of the main road. His heart was beating a thousand an hour, due to the fear. He was pale and sweating profusely. "I was about to die..." he thought, scared.”I don't want to die..." -he declared aloud, with the certainty that it was true. That experience had returned him in one fell swoop to reality.

Although his future looked uncertain, without the son he had so longed for and without the man who taught him how the real love was, it was clear that he couldn't give up. Regardless of the result, he would fight until the last breath to seek his own happiness, either with Marc or without him. With his heart guiding him, Kay started the engine and headed home. 


	70. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for you my friend.  
> Dany Boy, I'm sad because you won't finish reading this story. However, I'm sure now you are in a better place.  
> RIP

**Guilt**

**Marc**

 

As soon as Kay hung up, Marc froze, still holding the phone in his hand and staring at the horizon. In a matter of seconds, all the negative feelings towards Kay went to a second term. Regardless of recent events, he knew Kay needed him and he'd be there for him.

**With that determination, he turned to look at Jörg and, holding his gaze, said: "Kay needs me... I'm sorry." Having said that, he buttoned his shirt, pulled up his zipper and, putting on his boots, left the room, leaving Jörg sitting in the middle of the bed without saying a word.**

He returned to his room, packed the things he brought with him, and went down to the front desk to pay the bill and ask for a taxi that it would take him to the train station to return to Munich. He would worry later about analyzing his own response to the caresses he had experimented with Jörg, and he would certainly look for it to be honest with him about what happened. On the way back, he thought about what he would say to Kay when he saw him, although the first thing was to be able to locate him since in the last hour he had tried to contact him without success. He was worried about Kay since he knew Kay very well and knew how impulsive he could be. The disappointment of realizing that this son wasn't his and the reaction he had when asked if he was with Jörg, made him feel worried.

He arrived at Starnberg at dawn, due to the time he had to wait at the station to take the first train to Munich, as well as the Hauptbahnhof to Starnberg See. He felt tired, however as he approached his house, he could see Kay's silver R8 Audi parked at the entrance.

 _"Scheiße!_ He's here...” –Marc confirmed, unable to avoid the tickle that he began to feel in his stomach -. He opened the door and entered the house, there was no sound. If he had not seen Kay's car outside, he would swear there was no one there; He went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, took out a bottle of water that he drank in one gulp, and then climbed the steps slowly.

He went to the main room but it was empty and the bed perfectly made, so turning around, approached the studio. He knew that Kay used to take refuge there since when they fought or when he simply wanted to be calm he locked himself in that room for hours. He opened the door and found him with his back aiming at the door, lying in a fetal position on the soft carpet, which caused him great pain. He approached slowly until he reached Kay's side and breaking the sepulchral silence he pronounced: "Kay...”

Kay turned to him and Marc could see how much he was suffering, his face showed a deep sadness and it looked like he had been crying since his eyelids were swollen. He sat on the rug beside him and touched him gently on the back.

As soon as Kay felt his touch, he couldn't contain himself anymore and began to sob. He felt devastated by Emma's deceit and feeling Marc so close to him, made him forget for a moment the video that he had reproduced until he was tired, and that had made him imagine a myriad of possibilities between Marc and Jörg, to the point to think with deep fear, that now they could be together.

 "Shhh... calm down... I'm here with you" Marc said while cradling him in his arms and whispering reassuring words in his ear... "Everything will be fine Kay" - Marc repeated again and again until little by little the sobs stopped and were replaced by a uniform breathing. Marc looked at him only to corroborate that Kay had fallen asleep in his arms.

Holding him like that, made pleasant memories gather in his mind, feeling guilty for what had happened with Jörg a few hours before. Although it was true that they were broke up and that there was no "deception" involved, he didn't stop feeling heartbroken.

At some point Kay moved and instinctively, he settled closer to Marc. The heat radiated from their bodies when they were together, made him feel at home, made him feel protected.

Because of the position they were in, Marc began to feel his arms go numb from Kay's weight, but he didn't care as he wanted to enlarge that moment. He needed to tell Kay everything, only then he would feel free again. He was nervous and his thoughts took him again and again to a future where Kay wouldn't forgive him. "What would you do if this happened?" Marc thought as he unconsciously hugged Kay more tightly.

Immersed in his thoughts, Marc didn't notice that Kay had woken up until he slowly turned around to face him. Seeing those blue eyes that watched him with devotion, a spark began to travel through his stomach and the desire awoke in him. Trying to deflect that thought, Marc moved slightly to get rid of his embrace, while saying: "Come on, let's get up from here and go down to the kitchen; I'll make you a coffee so we can chat."

Kay looked at him and then offered him a hand to help him get up from the carpet. Silently, they both walked down and Kay sat on the first chair he found, while Marc was preparing coffee. After a few minutes, he handed him a steaming mug, as he poured one for himself and leaned against the kitchen sink trying to hide his nervousness.

Kay received the cup and took a sip. Their eyes met and Marc looked away, lowering his head. Kay then left the cup on the table and got up slowly approaching him while looking at him in anguish.

He was so nervous, unintentionally; he moved his arm with more force than necessary and spilled some coffee on his clothes near to his abdomen. When he felt the hot liquid, he dropped the cup and it shattered crashing to the floor. "Are you ok? Didn't you burn, did you? "Kay asked as he lifted Marc's shirt to look at the skin he missed so much.

"I'm fine, nothing happened," Marc answered, nervously stirring instead. Practically Kay had him cornered against the sink, so he didn't have much space to move.

Kay lowered his hand, releasing the shirt and getting closer to him said affectionately: "Marc thanks for coming... I know that leaving home was wrong, but I think you've already realized, that from the moment I did it I regretted it..." He confessed with a sigh. “I was obsessed with the possibility of having a child and that is why I allowed Emma to wrap me up in her lies. I paid a high price for being so selfish, but I want to repair my mistake now ... I just want a new chance to start over... Bitte" Kay whispered, pleading with his eyes.

Marc was listening and couldn't believe Kay's words; he could only feel his heart beating with anguish. Moving away from Kay, he said with sincerity: "You can't imagine how much I wanted to listen to these words all this time... but there is something you should know".

Seeing his grim expression as he said that, Kay began to feel how his mouth was drying because of fear. "Was Marc no longer willing to forgive him?"

"Tell me, what should I know? I hear you"

With fearful eyes, Marc confessed him: "Last night Jörg and I kissed each other" -Marc watched his reaction carefully.

Kay remained motionless. The jealousy appeared in an instant, while he remembered the video of both of them, which he knew by heart. Kay looked at him for a few seconds as if he didn't understand what he had just heard; as if he wanted to decipher what Marc had just confessed, so with a trembling voice while shaking his head, he snapped: "It wasn't just a kiss, was it?"

Marc was silent, so Kay raised his voice and repeated: "It wasn't just a kiss, was it? Tell me!"

Marc raised his face and holding his gaze spoke: "No... We went to his room and..."

At that moment, Kay interrupted him and, raising his hands to his head, shouted: "I knew it! I wasn't wrong! As soon as I saw that video that you uploaded to your Facebook account, I knew something was happening between both of you!"

"You know what? I don´t want to know... How quickly your feelings changed, Marc Borgmann" Then Kay slid his hand over the kitchen counter, throwing some plates to the floor. The crash they made when hitting the floor, made Marc move towards him.

Before he could speak, Kay lashed out: "It's funny... Do you remember when you crucified me because you saw Jörg kissing me? Now the roles have been reversed and it is you who are with him, but not only with a kiss, but you also fucked him! "

Hearing Kay speaking like that, Marc began to feel how the blood coming to his head because of the anger. He approached Kay and challenged him with his eyes, both measured strength for a moment without separating the view one from the other. They looked like caged animals ready to fight. Kay pushed him and Marc responded with the same force.

With renewed determination, Marc said: "The only thing you have to keep in mind is that on that occasion you and I were together, but now I'm single because you've abandoned me!" Marc said angrily, resting his index finger on Kay's chest. And he continued challenging him: "I know you love me, Kay, because you have shown it to me before, but this time, it was very easy for you to put that love aside and believe in the lies of that woman... little by little I was losing you without being able to do anything about it... "

And unable to stop, he continued: "You abandoned me, remember? You even had the cynicism to tell me that I could stay here as long as I took care of the bills" If I didn't have sex with Jörg or with any other person, it was because, despite having tried it, I can't get you out of my heart and my mind! "He almost shouted.

Little by little Marc's wounded look was transformed into serenity, and walking towards Kay, he added: "And you know why? Because I love you as I love my own life, Kay... I'm not myself if you're not with me... I need you as the same way I need the air to live... "-He finished with a whisper-.

Kay listened to him until the end, feeling how the adrenaline was at its peak. His head was spinning and he could clearly imagine scenes of Marc and Jörg together. He couldn't even accept for a second that "his lover" was in the arms of another person. His chest ached at the certainty that Jörg had tasted that mouth, that it belonged only to him. "You're mine, all those caresses and pampering belongs to me," Kay thought, mad because of jealousy.

"Kay! Do you understand what I'm saying? "Marc confronted him, taking him by both shoulders.

Kay looked at him and knew he was being honest with him, so his words finally began to make sense. "Marc loves me..." he repeated mentally.  “And I have been selfish..."

So, lowering his head, he bent over Marc's shoulder; he desperately needed a hug from his partner, friend, and lover. Marc did so, and both men, so strong and virile, gave themselves up to that moment which represented the end of a cycle of sadness and pain.

After a few minutes in which both calmed down, Marc spoke to him very quietly, running his fingers through his hair: "I forgive you, Kay, because I love you with all the strength I'm capable of and because I know you love me too".

Hearing that, Kay raised his head and smiled. He looked into Marc's eyes and said: "I forgive you too, Marc. I'm not even a shadow of what I used to be if you aren't by my side. I ask you to forgive me and I promise that everything will be different from now on.  _Ich Liebe Dich_ ".  Then, Marc passed both hands by Kay's face and approaching him kissed him. It was a tender and loving kiss. Kay looked at him and speaking almost in a whisper, hesitating, he asked: "It was like you said, right?  I mean, about Jörg... You don't…"

Marc put a finger on Kay's lips and deny with his head. "Nein ... we didn't do more than..."

"Shhh..." Kay whisper

Marc smiled as he said: "Since when have you become so jealous, eh?"

 **Kay didn't smile; looking at him hungry, caressing him from the neck whispered against his lips: "Since I have the certainty that I want to grow old with you..." "You are mine and from no one else."** After demonstrating his domain clearly, Kay kissed Marc urgently, showing him just the beginning of what would follow next.


	71. Passion

**Passion**

**Kay / Marc**

 

The mere fact of feeling Marc's lips and his warm breath against him caused him an immediate erection so, breathing deeply he moved away from Marc. It had been too many days since the last time they had made love, so he needed to control himself, or he would end up before and he'd definitely have other plans for them. He wanted to prolong every moment to the fullest until he satiated himself and satiated Marc completely. He needed him a lot, but also, he wanted to erase any track of Jörg in Marc's mind. "It wasn't a matter of ego or of marking his territory, or maybe, yes ..." Kay reflected angrily.

When Marc felt Kay broke the caress, he opened his eyes and attracted him from his belt. "What's going on?" Marc asked, staring at him.

Kay held his gaze, and replied, "Nothing ... it's just that I want to enjoy you very slowly ... Let's take it easy, we don't have a hurry ... Are you agree?"

Marc took Kay by the hand and led him to the room. As soon as he had crossed the threshold of the door, Marc turned him around and used his body to catch Kay against the wall. Once this was done, he began to bite the sensitive skin on Kay's neck. He knew that this type of caresses drove him crazy, so when he heard how Kay gave off slight gasps, he smiled to himself confirming how much he knew him. With his tongue, he began to draw a long line of kisses between his collarbone and the back of his ear and marveled at how his skin reacted to his touch, making his hair stand on end.

Kay closed his eyes enjoying that pleasant caress. Marc turned him crazy due to his devotion to him, so, stroked him and kissed him. For a moment, the image of Marc kissing Jörg appeared, but he quickly dismissed it. He wasn't going to let the thought spoil the pleasant sensations he was experiencing. Marc was insane because of the desire, so he slid his hands to Kay's belt and began unbuttoning it; once he released it; he began to stroke his bottom with firm movements, and then put all his attention on his cock, pressing harder against the wall.

"I really want to sink so deeply inside you, that I'll make you scream because of the pleasure," Marc whispered to Kay, as he played with his cock.

Upon hearing this statement, Kay felt his erection and wetting Marc's hand with his own seminal fluid. _"Ahh ... Scheiß drauf!"_ Kay groaned when he heard Marc speaks like that. He felt like a nervous teenager in his first sexual relationship, feeling that he wasn't able to control himself any longer. Thanks to his experience, he raised Marc's face with his hands and drove those deep blue eyes into him, and then, he began to kiss Marc gently first in his forehead, on the eyelids, then on the temple and went down to kiss the corner of his lips; Marc tried to catch his mouth, but Kay was agiler and didn't allow it; He continued with that path of kisses from his chin until it reached his neck. There he bit him gently and began to kiss him making the caress more and more intense, until sucking the skin of Marc's neck. "I'm going to print my mark, and you know why? Because you're mine..." Kay challenged him, returning that penetrating look to those emerald eyes, which now had a darker shade of desire.

Marc listened to him and secretly enjoyed the domain Kay wanted to have over him. The reality was that both were dominant, but flexible enough as interchangeable roles in their relationship; it was certain that was what made the attraction more and more intense. However, they were the most careful not to leave marks in visible places, mainly, due to their profession.

"I don't think it's a good idea," he replied, separating himself enough from Kay's mouth and smiling he looked into his eyes.

Kay didn't smile, instead, throwing him a look that couldn't hide his jealousy, questioned him: "Why not?" It was all he said, however, both knew that Jörg's name was implicit in the question.

Marc felt strange to see the insecurity in Kay since he was responsible for doing so after having confessed what happened with Jörg. Usually, if someone felt insecure in their relationship it was him, even though he knew he was handsome, Kay, was who attracted men and women alike also because of the great self-confidence that emanated, so the fact that Kay was crazy about him making his ego grow along with his feelings towards him. Thus, he could only admit: "You're right ... I don't care what people think, the only thing my body, my mind, and my heart need at this moment is you", and saying that he began to kiss him.

Kay didn't respond, he just let himself be done for a few seconds, then without preamble, hug him by the torso and push him lightly on the bed.

"Take off your clothes..." Kay ordered with a look of desire.

Marc noticed each and every one of Kay's reactions; his pupils were so dilated by the desire that his eyes seemed to be in a rough sea. He knew that Kay was taking a few moments to control himself, as he opened and closed his fists tightly and the tendons of his arms jutted out from the movement; the nostrils were dilated due to the need and could feel the throbbing pulse in Kay's neck. The certainty that he was responsible for those reactions in Kay, provoked him an immense pleasure, so slowly, he obeyed.

He got up of bed leaving only a couple of meters away from Kay, who didn't apart his gaze from him, so Marc took advantage of the moment and took his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it until his perfect torso was exposed, and then concentrating on his pants and boots. Once naked, except for the underpants, he looked at Kay smiling.

Seeing Marc like that, in front of him, he breathed deeply and let out the air with a loud hiss. "God... you don't know how much I miss you," Kay confessed without looking away. "Take everything off... I want to look at you."

Marc again obeyed and slowly removed his underpants leaving them to fall to the ground.

"It's your turn ... get undressed," Marc told him as he lowered his hand to his already growing erection massaging his cock to provoke Kay.

Kay clenched his teeth as he hurriedly pulled off his boots and trousers, as well as the rest of the garments; when it was his turn to remove the underpants, his big erection bounced against his thigh.

Both were perfect, of course, this was a consequence of those extra hours that both enjoyed in the gym. Their bodies seemed to have been sculpted with a chisel, with a perfectly defined musculature and a large, thick cock.

For a few moments, the two remained motionless watching each other. They looked as if it were the first time they would have the chance to touch each other.

**"You're perfect," Kay said without looking away and managing to blush Marc. "I remember the first time I saw you naked; it was in the showers of the Academy and the first thing I saw was that perfect butt that you has. Turn around for me ... "he asked in a whisper.**

Marc felt extremely excited listening to him speak like that; It was the first time in a long time, which referred to the Academy, and doing what he asked, caused a very special morbid. He turned around as Kay asked, and when he turned to look at him again, he answered while enjoying the view: "You're not bad at all either" And without being able to avoid it, he laughed.

And he continued: "You seem nervous ... are you?"

"I am, Marc ... I don't know exactly why, but I feel the same like when we did it for the first time, with the proviso that today I have the certainty that I love you deeply." Kay said, his voice a little broken.

"Show me then," Marc provoked Kay with a smile.

In response to his challenge, Kay closed the space between them and placing his hands on Marc's chest, leaned over and began to lick his nipple. Marc groaned and then uttered an almost guttural growl when he felt Kay bit him lightly; as a reflex, he brought Kay's face to his a few millimeters from his mouth, so that he could feel his breath against his lips. Wetting them, he approached Kay, making an attempt to kiss him but Kay didn't let him. Instead, he placed a brief kiss on his temple, and seconds later he ran his tongue over the earlobe, blowing against that sensitive spot.

"Are you playing with me?" Marc panting asked him, as he made an attempt to hold him back.

It was incredible how Marc's body reacted to his caresses and any point where he touched it, responded with longing to him. After that game, looking into his eyes, he took his mouth and began to kiss him. He enjoyed doing it since exploring every corner made Marc respond with the same hunger.

Without further ado, he went down to kneel in front of Marc. "Why are you asking me that?" He whispered in his abdomen.

"Because it seems to me" -he replied somewhat abruptly, while he took it by the neck and pushed it toward his erection -.

"I'm going to devour you" -Kay said, looking into his eyes-. "But first I need you to assure me that nothing like this happened with Jörg."

Marc was surprised to hear Kay ask him that. While it was true that between him and Jörg there had been no more than a few caresses, he didn't know if it was due to the surprising call from Kay. "Would they have reached the end if it were not for that interruption?" Marc thought himself nervously, still not answering.

"Kay, no..." -he could only manage to respond while taking him from the back of the head and pushing him towards his dick -.

Kay felt a twinge of disappointment that tried to mitigate and without speaking, began to stimulate him with the mouth with increasing intensity until he felt it in his throat. As he did so, he heard Marc grunt and could see him throwing his head back, unable to keep looking while Kay kept savoring him inch by inch enjoying him completely.

Marc could feel the force with which Kay sucked him, so he gently pushed him to keep from coming into his mouth. "Not yet ..." he thought as he grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet.

"I need to be inside you ... now." Marc confessed, as he took Kay and placed him gently on his back on the bed. That position was his favorite; not only because he could see how much Kay enjoyed, but also felt much more emotionally and empathetic with him. He loved Kay as he never thought; seeing him lying expectant and impatient for his caresses, made him recognize that Jörg compared with Kay, had been a mistake.

"God... you drive me crazy," Marc confessed, taking him by the knees, separating them completely, to get a better view of Kay. He growled at the sight of his cock erect and dripping. He ran his thumb over Kay's moist glans and started fiddling with that sensitive spot, while Kay tried to close his legs because of that intense feeling.

"No ..." Marc ordered, opening his legs again. Slowly, he approached him and now it was his turn to give him pleasure. He began to stimulate him with his mouth, while he masturbated, taking out enough seminal fluid to start lubricating to his lover.

All were pleasurable sensations for both, showing not only how much they needed, but also how much they loved each other. Unable to stop himself for another second, Marc positioned himself over Kay's anus and inserted himself into him. Immediately upon feeling that, Kay arched his back. He wanted more. He needed more.

"Look how I get into you," Marc said with a possessive groan. And Kay did it. He watched Marc penetrate him slowly and carefully so as not to hurt him, and inch by inch he sank into him. The flesh of his anus was stretched to conform to the contour of Marc's cock, and his thickness made him feel full and widened to the maximum capacity, accepting once again, that no other lover had made him feel what Marc was doing with him. Every time they had sex, Kay felt in paradise and nothing made him happier than enjoying Marc.

"Kay," Marc whispered in a firm voice. "Look at me... I love you, _Meine Liebe_ , don't ever doubt it." And saying that pushed to the bottom and moaned with pleasure. They joined at that time as a single being; there was no longer Kay and Marc. They were one.

Kay felt grateful, he was going to explode at any moment, so he put his legs around him, clinging to him while Marc rammed him hard. Marc's cock reached places inside him that provoked sensations so intense that he cried out when he felt a huge orgasm that ravaged his body, and with a firm movement he caressed his cock.

There were so many emotions contained and the intensity of Kay's orgasm, Marc couldn't contain himself a second longer and exploded inside him, whispering: "Damn, yes, Kay ... I love seeing your face when you coming like that because of me and feeling that pressure you give me, my love, "he roared fiercely as he finished inside him.

Finally, he dropped on Kay, panting against his torso. Both were breathless, lost in pleasure. Marc rolled to the side of the bed and held Kay against his chest. They spent the next few minutes in silence, each one was only able to hear the beating of their own heart and both were certain that this love was unique.


	72. Discomfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! I wish you happy holidays!

**Discomfort**

**Kay / Marc**

 

A soft snore woke him up. When he opened his eyes, he could see Mark lying next to him. He was sleeping deeply with his face towards him. He stayed watching him sleep for a while. “A lot of things had happened in the last few months, so it felt like years”- thought melancholically, at the time he remembered what had happened with Emma the night before.

“How could he have been so stupid to believe in her after she drugged him? The worst thing was that many nights, he had dreamt about the day that baby was born and he could hold him in his arms, but clearly, that wouldn’t happen”. “Not only that baby wasn’t his son, but besides his relationship with Marc was so devastated because of all the discussions and problems they have lived during the last months; so the only thing that could be seen as an uncertain future for both of them- he thought sadly- Even though they were reconciled, he felt an empty space in his chest just for thinking about losing him. “What kind of feelings did Mark felt about Jörg?” -He felt martyred while he looked at Marc’s well-defined lips-. He had never seen Marc interested for another man, except that time he let another man kiss him when he was completely drunk at the bar, he had never seen him be so close to somebody as he was with Jörg. _“Scheiße!”_ -He snarled for is insides-. He just couldn’t stop thinking about it. He always thought that Jörg was a true and loyal friend, but it was clear that he didn’t think the same way... The jealousy was overcoming him and he didn’t know how to handle it. At some point during his weird thoughts, Marc woke up. When their sights crossed each other’s, Marc smiled.

" _Hallo_..." he said in a very low voice without looking away.

 _"Hallo,_ have you slept well?" Kay answered trying to smile.

"I think so. I was very tired, last night I didn't sleep at all and then... well, after what we did, I didn't know at what moment I fell asleep; what time is it? "He asked while he was looking for his phone.

"It's past three in the afternoon," Kay answered, trying not to give importance to the fact that if Marc hadn't slept the night before it was due to the trip he had made from Salzburg to here.

"I propose we stay in bed for the rest of the day, just get up to eat... do you want to?" He asked calmly, knowing that although Kay apparently looked calm, he wasn't. Marc knew him so well; he knew how sad Kay was about the baby's issue.

"Come on, what do you say?" Marc insisted as he approached him and gave him light kisses on the chin and along the temple.

Kay smiled sadly and nodded. "Let's go down in a little while ... now I just want you to hug me" -he asked, as he approached Marc and turning his back he snuggled against his chest. Marc cradled him in his arms while saying: "I know you're going through a difficult time because of the baby, but with the time, you'll start to feel better, you'll see". After saying that, he gave him a brief kiss on the head, squeezing him harder.

" _Danke, Schatz..._ not only for your words but also for giving me the opportunity to make up for my mistakes". "This whole baby theme clouded my vision; I was so obsessed with being a father that I left aside what matters most to me in life ... I hope it's not too late and that we can really overcome this together. I don't know what would be of my life if I lost you again". Kay confessed, finishing in a whisper and not daring to turn to look at him.

Marc listened to him and smiled, as he placed a soft kiss on the back of Kay's neck. He didn't speak anymore. He thought it wasn't necessary; the important thing was to do everything to rebuild their relationship. He tittered, hugging Kay.

An hour later, they went down to the kitchen to eat something. Between the two, they prepared pasta and opened a bottle of wine. They ate in silence, each one absorbed in his thoughts.

Marc was thinking about Jörg. As soon as Kay called him, he forgot everything; he had left him without caring about anything else; He owed Jörg an explanation and he had to be honest with him since he was a good guy, only that the previous night both had been carried away by the moment. Maybe if he hadn't met Kay, Jörg could be someone he could try to maintain a relationship with. But the reality was that the emotions and feelings that Kay woke up in him were superior to any other sensation he had experienced before; Kay simply had no comparison.

**Unlike other times, that silence wasn't comfortable for Kay, so looking at Marc and unable to hide his anguish, he asked: "What do you think?"**

**"Nothing special," he lied, sipping his drink. He didn't want to talk about Jörg's subject again, at least not at that moment.**

**Kay didn't say anything. He only nodded and imitated Marc, draining the last sip of wine.**

They finished eating exchanging some inconsequential comments; consciously, neither of them wanted to talk about deeper issues.

**Kay began to pick up the kitchen to wash the dishes when Marc went ahead and said: "Leave things there, tomorrow there will come a person to clean the house."**

**Kay looked at him strangely; "Why? Who is that person? "He asked.**

**Marc looked away, and answered, "The lady who helps Jörg clean his study." He answered cautiously.**

"Sure..." it was all Kay answered, leaving the frets over the sink, and heading towards the room.

 _"Scheiße..."_ Marc hissed, while leaning on the bar, saw Kay left the kitchen. Minutes later, he headed up the stairs.

When he entered the room, Kay was already lying on the bed, watching television. Without saying anything, he lay down beside Kay and fixed his attention on the program that Kay saw. He had tuned one of his favorite channels: that of the old Hollywood movies and just at that moment began a romantic comedy: **_"When Harry met Sally"._**

"Have you seen this movie?" Marc asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's one of my favorites..." Kay admitted with a grimace.

"Well... let's see it then," Marc answered, snuggling up beside him.

Despite the smile, Kay gave him; Marc knew that Kay was far from happy. Kay, on the other hand, couldn't get out of his mind the closeness between Jörg and Marc.

By the time the movie was over, it had already darkened, and Marc was snoring softly with an arm clinging to Kay's body. Kay in turn, gently caressed Marc's knuckles, while his mind kept betraying him with images of Jörg and Marc in a hotel room, kissing and touching each other.

"Needless to say, Kay hadn't paid attention to the movie; as soon as Marc had fallen asleep, he became absorbed in those negative thoughts, which were not good for him ". He accepted reluctantly while turning off the television and closing his eyes trying to fall asleep.

The next morning, Kay got up earlier than usual because he hadn't been able to sleep much, leaving Marc sleeping peacefully on the bed. He showered, dressed to go to work and went downstairs to prepare a coffee.

He was so immersed in his reading and drinking coffee that he didn't notice when Marc entered the kitchen. It was not until he felt Marc's fingers massage him, pressing his shoulders firmly, that he left the book on the table and turned to look at him. He was dressed only in shorts and a shirt, his hair a little disheveled, a sign that he had just got up, and a sleepy smile.

"Hallo..." -he greeted him, while he poured himself a coffee and sat next to Kay-.

"Hallo... Don't you think you're late?" Kay asked curiously.

"I asked for a couple of days of leave at work ... The truth is that I didn't feel encouraged to do anything, including going to work..." -he confessed-. "But that has changed since you came back home _pussy_..."

Kay smiled briefly and giving the last sip to his cup, left it in the sink. The pile of dirty frets reminded him that "a stranger" would be at home cleaning it today. He only hoped that the lady came alone and not accompanied by Jörg. Without making any other comment, he headed for the exit.

"See you at night," he said by way of farewell, as he took the keys to the car.

"Do you leave like this, without saying goodbye in a proper way?" Marc asked him, surprised.

"Marc... it's getting late, I have to go, see you later" -said Kay going to the door -.

Marc stood watching the door close behind Kay, feeling confused by that reaction. "What the hell was wrong with him?" "A few hours ago, he had asked for another opportunity, they had met again and enjoyed a good time of intimacy, but with the attitude he had just taken, it seemed as if he had changed his mind ..." He said a little disappointed, trying to put himself in his shoes to see if he could understand him.

Sighing, he went up to take a bath and half an hour later, he already opened the lady who would help with the cleaning of the house. The day passed without major setbacks, the house was again clean and he rested in the studio waiting for Kay.

 

**Kay**

At times he concentrated on his duties, but most of the time, his mind kept coming back again and again to the moment when Marc confessed that something had happened between him and Jörg.

"Jörg, Jörg, Jörg ... Scheiße!" - He screamed, whipping his hand on the desk. - He was annoyed with that topic, he had to let it go once and for all ... Marc had assured him that they hadn't had sex, of course, that it didn't mitigate the pain and jealousy that he felt every time he imagined them caressing and touching. He knew both of them on the sexual plane and he knew how passionate they could become. "What if what had happened between them, made Marc doubt about their relationship?"

The telephone bell returned him to reality; he picked up the receiver and got involved in a police issue that helped him forget his personal problems for a moment. The rest of the day was quite heavy since he and his team had to go cover an emergency that occurred in the center of the city.

He finished his shift later than usual and tired he climbed into the car to return home. He was already on the way back when his phone started ringing. He activated the "hands-free" and heard Marc's voice: "Is everything ok, Kay?"

"Yes... it's just that we had to cover an emergency and that delayed me, but I'm going back" -he answered-.

"Okay, I see you here, at home. Do you want to dine something special? "Marc asked.

"Are you going to prepare something for me?" Kay joked, knowing that Marc was terrible in the kitchen.

"Sure, tell me your cravings..." Marc ventured.

" _Nein..._ I prefer to go out to dinner if that's okay"

"Perfect! I'll be waiting for you, "Marc answered relieved.

"See you in a little, _pussy_." And smiling, Kay hung up.

**Marc**

Upon hearing that nickname, Marc smiled as he settled into the soft room, waiting for Kay. After a few minutes, he arrived and both went out to dinner. They spent a quiet night, resuming their old habits and enjoying a delicious dinner.

In the same mood, the following weeks passed. Each time it seemed that the tension between them was less, and returned to be the loving and passionate lovers they used to be before Emma intruded into their lives. Little by little, both smiled more and the uncomfortable silences were diminishing. When a week later, Matty was visiting home, Marc thought Kay would be sad again, but it wasn't like that. On the opposite, whenever Kay was with his son, the bond between them became much narrower and Kay was the happiest man.

The only thing that tarnished their happiness, to put it in any way, was the fact that both avoided touching the subject of Jörg. It seemed like a forbidden subject, but both, Marc and Kay knew that at some point they would have to talk about him.

For his part, Marc was looking for Jörg in the past days without being able to contact him; his phone invariably sent him to a mailbox and once he left work he went to look for him directly at his house. When he didn't find him, he left a note that threw it under the door. Marc felt the need to fix things between them and not leave the problem unfinished. He was expecting Jörg to contact him soon.

On the other hand, in a few days would be the Christmas Season, as well as Kay's 33rd birthday. "I had been thinking about a couple of ideas I wanted to carry out to give Kay the best birthday he had ever had, to the extent that he couldn't forget it in a long time ..." Marc thought decisively.


	73. Under Pressure

**73\. Under Pressure**

**Jörg**  

 That weekend they were fulfilled, two weeks since Marc had left him alone in that hotel room in the middle of "something." Two weeks in which he had had the opportunity to reflect on his life and on the latest events; during all those days, he kept the phone off, and went for a walk through the picturesque streets of Salzburg, stopping for hours on the riverbank, or in one of the many gardens of the city. What he wanted was to put his ideas and feelings in order and be clear about what he would do next.

 

The taxi driver's voice took him out of his thoughts, to let him know they had arrived. He turned around through the window and saw the entrance of his studio and his car parked in the garage. The car had been loaned to a musician friend who was based in Salzburg and had to travel to Munich for a few days, so the return to his house had made it by train.

 

When he opened the door, he could see the correspondence of two weeks accumulated on the floor, so, clearing the way, he left his luggage on one side of the couch, and on the kitchen counter put a bag of food that he had brought along the way. He picked up the correspondence and began to flip through it as he made his way to the kitchen; basically, they were bills to pay, invitations for shows, the opening of a restaurant and a note written in handwriting. He opened it and saw that the one who signed was Marc, with a sigh he kept it in the drawer and went on his way to the kitchen to sit down to eat.

 

While he finished the last macaroons he had bought, he remembered when Marc mocked him for being a lousy cook... and he was right so that always the takeaway or home delivery would get him out of trouble. He filled his glass of red wine and went to the television room, there, sat on his favorite couch and stretched his legs all the way up on the coffee table, set his glass on the side table and dropped his arms down off the couch. He was really enjoying the pleasure of returning home after so many days of absence. He began to change the channels to see if he could find something that interested him when he remembered Marc's note. Filling himself with courage, he got up from the chair and walked towards the drawer; a pang of nervousness invaded him; he took the note and told himself that he would face whatever came since he had prepared for these, in the last days.

 

_"Jörg, I have tried to talk to you during these days without success ... Nobody knows your whereabouts. I understand that the last thing you want is to talk to me, after the way I left, but we need to talk. That's why I came to your house and not finding you I dared to leave this note. Please call me..." Marc._

He stayed for a few minutes re-reading the note as if trying to find a hidden clue. Marc was right... he could not keep fleeing from that situation, but he needed to stay alone to understand it and understand his feelings for Marc and everything he had done in his life until that night in Salzburg.

 

_"It was all very fast ... In a moment everything he had wanted in the last days, was being fulfilled when he and Marc were kissing ... and the next minute Marc was gone" He remembered how Marc dressed in a minute while trying to get in touch with Kay again. Marc's face had changed due to worry and while trying to stay calm, he tried to get rid of the vestiges that remained because of the passion he had felt a moment before at his side._

With those memories in his mind, Jörg took the cell phone and without thinking twice called Marc's number. After a few seconds he could hear the nervous voice of Marc over the phone: "Jörg, I've been worried about you, where are you?"

"Marc..." he said by way of greeting. “I stayed in Salzburg all these days, but I'm back home"

"Hey... can we talk? Marc asked without preamble.

"Sure... I also want to talk to you" –said to him- "I'm looking for you in a little while".

_"Nein..._ it's not a good idea to come here, I'm going to your studio" -and saying that they both hung up-.

 

_While he was waiting for him, the memories of that night came like a gust: "Marc had told Kay that he was in Austria. It was clear that Kay did not like to know they were together and Marc couldn't hide his frustration when Kay hung up the phone..." He turned to him and said:" Jörg, I have to go, Kay needs me... I'm sorry " -but his look showed concern for the reaction he would have ... he vaguely remembered how he barely shook his head positively. At a rapid pace, Marc left the room leaving him sitting motionless on the bed... He remembered how, after several minutes, he got up slowly to go to the bathroom and turned on the faucet and washed his face with ice water, while looking at his reflection in the mirror ... The first thing he saw was that scar that invariably reminded him of his past, so when he closed his eyes with force, he began to question himself: "What had happened there? Why had they almost done it? Because you wanted. "He responded to his reflection in the mirror. Turning around and seeing the bed with the messy sheets reminding him of the pleasant moments that had happened just a few moments before ..._    
  
---  
  
_Unable to do nothing, he turned off the lights and leaned back on the bed. He remembered that for a long time he had been left inert, listening to his own breathing and thinking about what had happened..._

_**The** **next morning, when he went down to the reception and asked for Marc, the man in charge told him, that Mr. Borgmann had paid off his account during the night and then he had left the hotel. "Ok, thanks" Jörg answered, while he decided that he would stay there for longer than planned ..."** _

The sound of the bell returned him back to reality. He looked at his watch and saw that an hour had passed since he had hung up with Marc. He got up and seconds later, opened the door to meet Marc face to face.

"Come in, Marc"

Marc entered and they both sat one in front the other, in the living room.

"Do you want to drink something?" Jörg inquired.

Marc shook his head, rubbing his hands, in a sign of nervousness.

"Jörg... I... I don't know how to start"

Jörg analyzed each expression of Marc and decided not to extend the moment any longer. "Marc... you don't have to tell me anything; After you left, I sat for a long time on the bed reflecting on my actions. "What happened between us that night, should not have happened..."

Marc tried to speak but was interrupted by Jörg; "Let me finish... I need you to listen to me. When I saw Kay and you together, I realized that there was a very special bond between both of you... something that I didn't understand and that even in my best relationship I hadn't experienced. At the beginning, with the first fights, I noticed that despite this, you were stronger and more united. But later, when Emma made their relationship wear down and you and I began to know each other and to maintain a sincere friendship, I realized why Kay had fallen in love with you... and that blinded me. I wanted to live that too, I imagined that I could experience the same... I'm sorry Marc, I'm ashamed to have exploited your lack, but the reality is that I was also had lack of love and that confused my feelings. "

"I'm ashamed of my behavior, not only with you but also with Kay... I really appreciate him and I know he must be furious with me, but I'm willing to repair things between us..." "I hope you can both forgive me... I hope we can be friends again, I really appreciate your friendship and Kay's and I would be very happy to be able to come back to you..." When Jörg finished, he was surprised by the serenity with which he spoke and by the feeling of peace that invaded him when he felt liberated.

Marc listened and smiled; "Thanks for being like you are Jörg ... but I want you to know that I was also partly to blame... You are special to me, and you were always by my side, supporting me when things were not going well with Kay... I... I felt depressed and I wanted you to comfort me. If I am honest, I do believe that you are someone very special, and I'm sure that if I hadn't met Kay, I'd easily fall in love with you..." "I'm convinced that just as Kay and I met and we have overcome many obstacles to be together, this way you will find that person who will make you feel that nothing else matters..." "Thanks, my friend..." -concluded Marc, as he approached Jörg and they both melted into a fraternal embrace-.

"Thanks to you..." -Jörg answered-.

"There's only one more thing..." Marc said -. "Kay is very hurt, because although we have not talked more deeply about you, I know he feels betrayed... It will take a while to assimilate and forgive" -In fact, I need to leave. When I left home to come here, Kay was coming and didn't like anything knowing that I came to see you... So, I'm leaving to talk to him, "Marc finished, saying goodbye with a clash of palms, climbed into the BMW and headed towards his house-. He was relieved to have clarified things with Jörg and to know that he was still counting on a friend, but on the other hand, he knew that a somewhat heated talk with Kay was waiting for him... He pushed the accelerator hard and went to his house.

 

 


	74. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, for your comments, kudos and for keep reading; this encourages me to continue writing this crazy story!
> 
> As you can see, we're in the final stretch...
> 
> :)

**~~~~74\. Forgiveness**

**Kay**

**What a shit...! – He repeated himself over and over again, thinking how their plans had been fucked up in only a few seconds, meanwhile, he ran a fast pace on the clay track which was situated around Starnberg See.   Dressed in thermal clothing, he overpassed the obstacles that snow had left and at the same time, he could feel how the freezing wind hit his face.   His mind was a chaos.**

  ** _A few hours before…_**

When he woke up during the morning and saw Marc slept aside him, smiled fleetingly getting up to prepare breakfast; with the heating on, he let Marc laid over the fluffy mattress at the same time that he contemplated the amazing snowed landscape, characteristic of a December month.

“Pfff… my birthday is coming” –he remembered enthusiastic, while he cooked bacon with eggs; curious, he speculated about what crazy idea Marc would have for his birthday.  This would be the second birthday he'd spend with Marc; the previous time, Marc had organized a surprise themed party about the 20’s, at Gatsby style.  –Kay remembered how fun it was, and how handsome Marc looked, dressed in a suit, suspenders and a hat -.  All pics that they took inside the photo-booth, he had used them as separators in the books he was reading.

While he released a big laugh because of those pleasant memories, he didn’t realize that Marc was watching him from the kitchen’s threshold.   It wasn’t until he felt the wet lips caressing his neck and his strong arms surrounded on him, that he noticed Marc’s presence, so he turned around to greet him.

“The one who just laughs…” –Marc said while he continued depositing soft kisses along the neck, provoking on him goosebumps.

“Mmm… Good morning!” – Kay greeting with pasty voice due to the desire that Marc aroused in him-.

“Why do you seem so happy?” –Marc insisted-.

“Because we’re together” –Kay answered with his voice full of desire-.  He turned off the oven and letting the cooking utensil aside, he turned back through Marc and started caressing his face with the thumb; started with his cheekbone and went down until passed his finger on his lips, making Marc caught it with his mouth and started to give him, tiny bites while he sucked it.  Immediately, Kay began to feel how his erection was growing until hitting the jeans.

Even though sex between them was superb, since they went back together Kay felt like a thorn stuck in his chest which it wouldn't allow enjoy it at a one hundred percent.   Each time they had a sexual encounter, invariably Jörg’s image appeared only to remembered that he had tasted his lover; and even though, he tried to relegated that image deep down in his mind and he was trying to demonstrate Marc how skilled he was as a lover, at the end, he felt miserable due to secretly he passed comparing himself with Jörg. 

Sighing, he tore off from him and asked: “Are you hungry?” “I prepared breakfast”.

“I’m starving…” –Marc responded laughing since he was using the double sense-.

“It seems right for me… ‘cause I’m too” –Kay responded, enjoying that game.  He had to admit that the anticipation of thinking about all kind of things he’d do him later, it had become a kind of addiction.   He waited a while, without taking off his sight over Marc’s, trying to read inside his soul.

He loved Marc more and more every day; as he never thought he was capable, and that provoked him so much fear.  Never before, he had felt on that way… He, who always had had a great self-confidence; he, who with a cocky smile knew himself wanted by many… He was the same who today knew himself vulnerable.  He had a huge dread that this man who was in front of him stops loving him and end up replacing him with Jörg.

Like it was by magic, that thought was enough to lower his libido in a second, so, breaking all contact with Marc, he moved towards the stove and started serving breakfast.   If Marc noticed it, he didn’t say anything, by the opposite, he sat down to drink coffee and to take his breakfast happily.

When they finished, Marc started to pick up the dishes.  Kay did the intent to help him but Marc didn’t allow it.

“I do it, ´cause you prepared breakfast” –he told him while at the same time gave him a brief kiss on his cheek and continued with that activities-.

“The day is perfect to stay at home and watch movies, isn’t it?  It’s freezing outside… So, what do you say?” –Kay proposed, sitting over the kitchen counter, while he was waiting for Marc to finish washing the dishes.

“Sounds good… nevertheless, I’d like to do something more than watch movies” –Marc provoked Kay while he splashed him with the water he had in the hands, starting laughing aloud.

Kay laughed in turn and nodding saying: “Perfect… we already have our plan for today; I’ll be right back”.

Jumping from the counter, Kay got out from the kitchen.  He went upstairs to brush his teeth and when he came back, listened to Marc speaking with an anxious voice: _“Jörg, I’ve been worried about you, where are you?”_

At the moment he heard Jörg´s name, he stopped right there and hidden behind the wall to listen to the conversation.  Something answered Jörg, ´cause Marc said: _“Ey… Can we talk?”_

Another silent moment, and then: _“Nein… it’s not a good idea that you come over here, I’m going to your studio”._

In that precise moment, Kay couldn’t contain himself for another minute more and entered into the kitchen only to notice when Marc put the cell phone in his jeans' pocket.   He stared at him challenging and seconds later, asked: “What’s going on?”

Marc looked at him for a while that seemed an eternity and then responded: “Kay… I’ve to get out just for a couple of hours; I won’t be late”.

You’re going to see him… Really, Marc? -There wasn't need to pronounce his name, both of them knew who was referred to-.

“Kay… Listen to me.  I’ve to talk to him.  That’s all; there’s no hidden intention behind” -and taking him by his chin, said: _“Glaubst du mir, Mein Schatz?”_

Kay didn’t answer, the only thing he did, was dodge his caress and ran upstairs.  As he changed his clothes to go running, he could hear the BMW’s engine and closing to the window saw the car moving away.

***

After running for more than an hour, he came back to his home only to corroborate that Marc still not returning home.   He climbed the stairs slowly and headed directly to the shower.  There, opened the tap of hot water and laying against the wall let that the pressure of water, massaged it his back.  He didn’t want to think of anything else.

When he came out from the shower, noticed Marc was sitting on the bed waiting for him.   With a total indifference attitude, Kay passed by, towards the dressing room.  He had only a towel in his hand and big drops fall down from his naked body; Marc approached him.

“Kay…”

He didn’t get an answer.

“Eh… Kay” –Marc insisted again, taking him by the arm-.

Kay looked at him.  There were a lot of things he wanted to tell him… so many questions… recriminations… fear.   But instead, he just watched him.  After struggling that inner fight, finally, responded: “What?”

 

**Marc / Kay**

He knew him perfectly.  He also knew Kay felt wounded and betrayed.  Betrayed not only for Jörg but also for him; although he would never admit it aloud.

“I’ve spoken with him and we’ve clarified everything…” –Marc confessed, trying to explain to him what had happened-.

“Und…? Should I clapped you or what do you want me to do?” –Kay responded sarcastically-.

“Kay… Please try to understand; he’s also your friend”

“My friend…? Are you kidding me? –He answered raising his voice, while threw the towel towards the carpet and he stood completely naked. -  “A man, who wanted to fuck and stay with my lover, do you really believe he’s my friend? -  And challenging, Kay asked Marc: “And then…? Did he get it?”

Marc approached Kay even more and holding by both shoulders, told him in a whisper: “What are you saying?  You don’t have clear what you mean to me, do you?”

Kay collapsed… he couldn’t handle it for much more time.  He didn’t want to compete with Jörg nor anyone else.   He needed to have the certainty that Marc loved him the same way he does.  Without resisting, he let Marc did whatever wanted with him.

Marc could feel his surrender, thus, slowly started to kiss Kay’s neck and then he did the same with his chin until reach the corner of his lips.  There, stared Kay, his own emerald gaze got dark because of desire.  Later, he’d tell him what happened with Jörg, now what he wanted, was to demonstrate him how important he was in his damn life.

He licked his lips and looking down his gaze, admired the perfect body of his lover, of his love, of his everything.   _“Kay… Ich Liebe Dich”._   He went down on his knees and stuck his mouth to Kay’s erect cock, putting the whole into his mouth until it touched his throat.

“Fuck!” – Marc heard how Kay exclaimed with pleasure, as he clutched Marc's head against his cock-.  When Marc felt Kay’s surrender, he ablaze, even more, if that was possible, and he continued devouring it as if he was a hungry man and the seminal liquid which came out from Kay was the most valued nectar.  He only heard him groan and that sound provoked on him an absolute gratification.  He wanted to prove him how much he loved him; he wanted Kay felt the most important person in his life. 

As he sucked it, Marc moved his tongue against each millimeter of flesh he was caressing; taking it out of his mouth and licking cock’s basis, he played with the testicles inside of his mouth.  His incipient beard touched Kay’s exposed skin, which made him tried to separate him a little.

“ _Marc… bitte_ ; give me a break, if not I’m gonna explode” –Kay whispered as a plea mode-.

Marc got up and took him to the bed, there, with a lascivious gaze, pushed him against the mattress, and seconds later, he let himself fell to continue with that seduction game.  He had a complete necessity of Kay, because of that, he continued sucking his cock and feeling how it became harder and thick inside of his mouth.  That sensation of power, made him emit wild sounds; he groaned, roared and murmured hot words while he explored Kay whole.

Once, he satisfied with Kay’s cock, he continued his way of wet kisses until reach to his anus.  There, Marc started to lick it as he inserted his tongue inside Kay.  He was so excited, that he wanted to do everything; after that caress, his fingers followed.  First, Marc scrubbed the thumb in Kay's skin, while his tongue probed Kay’s heat.  Kay released his arms above the bed and pulled the sheets with his fists, as he enjoyed that intimate caress.  Never, ever before, Marc had kissed him in that way.

Focused on Marc´s gaze, Kay could see how Marc licked his fingers before put them on again inside of him.  “I do believe that I'll never have enough of you…” –Marc confessed with trembled voice, as he kept put on his fingers to the bottom with the intention to expand him enough and that he could receive his cock whole.

He could only feel how Kay’s body stretched in a response of these caresses; he couldn’t be able to link a complete sentence.   He only listened how Kay groaned and pronounced his name, and that made him not resist for a long more time.    In a matter of seconds, Marc took off his clothes and started to stimulating and masturbating with his right hand.  Kay was more than ready to receive him, but Marc wanted more of his savor.  Again, he approached Kay and following this game, he stimulated him with his tongue until he thought he couldn’t resist more, he got up and cradling between his arms, he let fell down with him over the bed; sideways, holding him strongly and whispering every kind of dirty words in his ear, he started to penetrated him slow and tenderly.

The moans of both men were heard into the room, conscious of how much they loved to each other, they surrendered completely.  Marc groaned because of the pleasure against Kay’s hair, as Kay clung to those arms which held him against his chest.

They were moving on this way for a while until Kay released from that hug and kissing Marc with a mix of passion and love, he put on top of Marc.  Kay had a piercing gaze, no words needed, in that moment he had the certainty that Marc loved him with the same intensity that he did.

Far and away, Jörg’s phantom had been left behind, and all insecurities he generated him, thus, letting out a moan of pleasure, he slowly sat over Marc to ride him with passion, as Marc leaned against the head of the bed.  Both stayed face to face, hugged and sharing conspiratorial looks.

After feeling what Kay did, Marc took him by the hips and helped him to inserted completely in him.  The pressure that Kay wielded against his cock and the way he moved, without taking away his gaze, made him started to feel how little by little his orgasm was grown inside of him. 

In the same way, Kay began to feel how grown his own arousal because of stimulating his prostate over and over again.   Marc sank his fingers into Kay’s arms to point his necessity that ridden on him with much more strength.   Kay did it; fiercely, rubbing against Marc’s cock and taking advantage of their closeness, they kissed with tenderness and passion.

In conjunction with all these sensations and to feel Marc very deep inside in him, made him that without needing to stimulated by his hand, Kay began to come. At that moment, seeing his face of satisfaction and listening to his moans, Marc could not contain himself anymore and exploded with him.

The only sounds that were heard were those of their own ragged breathing, while they moaned together in that orgasm. Kay flopped down on Marc's chest and he took the opportunity to hug him against him, still pressing with his hips under Kay, Marc delighted in the last jolts of pleasure. They stayed like this for a while, Kay sitting on his lap, squeezing him like a fist, while Marc stroked his back and thighs without stop looking at him. Marc needed to make him understand what it meant to him.

It was amazing how he could see Kay freed, enjoying extreme pleasure and completely forgetting everything, except for what happened right there between the two of them. Little by little, they relaxed, breathing became rhythmic and the beating of their hearts returned to normal. It was so nice to feel that way, that as if he didn't want to break that moment, with great care, Kay got up, only to lie on his side and cradle Marc in his arms.

Kay felt at peace with himself and with Marc. He no longer felt that resentment against Marc for having come so far with Jörg and finally he forgave Marc. But the most important thing was that he forgave himself, for all the mistakes he made in the last months with Marc and that he hadn't been able to overcome.

An **_"I love you",_** uttered in a whisper, pulled Kay out of his thoughts, so hugging Marc harder, Kay replied: "Believe me, I know."


	75. Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps. Finally, I did it! I mean, as you can see, I've been uploading images of our characters. (After a while, I was able to do it...)  
> That's why I'd like to introduce yourselves how I imagined Jörg... You can see him in chapter 3. Quietude, 4. Ghost, 5. Unknown.  
> And of course, all your thoughts and feedback are very welcome! :D

**75\. Gift**

**Marc / Kay**

It had been a few days since they were together again, and it seemed everything was perfect.   Marc felt a little bit anxious, due to the big surprise he’d been working on.  He really wanted to achieve an unforgettable birthday for Kay, but most importantly he wanted to demonstrate Kay, that he was the man of his life.

During the previous days, Marc said he had a lot of work to do, which is why it was the best for both of them to drive to the unit individually so none of them has to wait for the other.  Kay agreed; and the idea of it having something to do with his birthday never crossed his mind since the date was still far from the present day. What Kay didn’t know was that this time it wouldn’t be a normal celebration; even a lot of years later he would remember this special birthday.

One of those days, while Kay worked in his office, he looked at his wrist and felt his stomach twitch when he noticed that he was not wearing the bracelet that Marc had given to him. _"Scheiße!"_ He growled, checking the floor to see if he found it lying there. There was nothing, so he began to remember when it had been the last time he had seen it. He picked up the phone and dialed Marc; after a few seconds, he heard his voice, "What's wrong?" he asked in a tone that indicated he was busy with something else.

"Excuse me if I interrupt you, I just want to ask you if you haven't seen my bracelet ... right now I realize that I don't bring it and I am afraid that it has fallen somewhere else than the house..." - Kay said in a worried way -.

"I'm sorry, Kay, I haven't seen it, but don't worry, we'll find it, surely it will be in our home." -Kay nodded hanging the phone; he really felt overwhelmed. That bracelet meant a lot to him, it was like an alliance and the possibility of having lost it caused him great distress.

Mortified, he continued working even when he couldn't pay 100% attention to what he was doing, when half an hour later, someone, knocked on his door. He was so concentrated on finishing a report that he asked to enter without stop looking at his computer’s screen.

 “Kay…”

As soon as he recognized the voice, felt how his pulse increased and turning his chair around, he stood up almost jumping and walking with big steps he approached his interlocutor.

“You… what are you doing here? Who let you in?” –Kay questioned him approaching dangerously to Jörg and taking him by the shirt, pushed him against the wall.

“Kay, please… give me a chance so we can talk” – he whispered while he was trying to release the punishment.-

  *******

**Jörg**

**_An hour before…_ **

**Standing in front of the Munich Police Unit, he laid in the car seat. He was nervous; he had gone there to make things right with Kay. He knew -thanks to Marc-, that Kay didn’t even want to hear his name; that he felt very hurt and betrayed… “And he was right to feel that way” –thought Jörg, looking again to the entrance.**

[ ](https://ibb.co/c7zkrb)

He was aware that wasn’t the ideal place for trying to get things right again, but if he didn’t do it there, he could hardly find him in another place and he needed to talk to him without Marc being there, because he thought if Marc was there while they talked, the feeling of possession and jealousy could make a big deal out of the situation and it would be harder for Kay to forgive him. Kay would have to be as calm as possible; otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to do it.

Taking into account that conviction, he got out of the car and entered the Unit; he walked straight down to Kay’s office and as he didn’t see anyone at the reception, knocked the door. He heard “come in...”

He opened the door and saw Kay facing backward him looking into his computer’s screen.

“Kay…”

*******

**_In the present…_ **

“I have nothing to talk to you...” –Said Kay at the time he stopped grabbing him by the shirt and not looking at his face-.

“Kay, please listen to me, that’s all I ask”.

“Since the day you started to show interest in Marc our friendship ended; did you really think I didn´t notice how you took advantage of our problems so you could become closer to him?”

Jörg put his head down and answered: “yes, almost everything you’ve said is true; I recognize that the way I acted with you wasn’t the best way, but that wasn’t premeditated. At the beginning, it was just friendship, but little by little –when I got to know him better- I realized the reasons you were in love with him. Marc is easy to love, he is an excellent partner whom you can laugh with and also talk about deep stuff, and… I… well, I misunderstood that.”

And he continued: “Little by little I liked to be with him and I thought it was love, but it wasn’t anything like that”. Looking at Kay he said determinately: “I think I just wanted to relive the sensation of being loved; for a moment, I was selfish and I wanted to live what you guys had: something real and pure. That’s the truth, I’m human and I was wrong, but I understood that love cannot be forced.  It is not easy to tell you all this, because of what we had and at some point the friendship that we had, I ask you to please try to understand me and put yourself in my shoes for a minute.”

He made a pause and continued: “When we were in Austria and you called him, Marc went crazy. In that moment, nothing else mattered but being with you and that put me back into reality. Marc loves you deeply and seeing him like that made me realized the mistake I was committing. I’m telling you that this lack of love made me misunderstood things when all I really felt for him was the hope of living something good with somebody, the chance of being able to love and be loved back. I never wanted to hurt you, Kay. Please forgive me, I need to get your trust back, but above all, get your friendship back, for me it was always very special, and you know that.”- He concluded almost with a deep breath-.

Kay was static. During the talk he had with Jörg, he had moments of anger because of the details he told him, but now he was confused. Like a movie, all the images of Jörg being there for him and giving him unconditional support popped up into his mind. Those memories made him relax and slowly he remembered Marc’s words: “It is nobody’s fault...”  Soon, he softened the hard expression on his face and looking directly into Jörg’s eyes he could know how nervous he was.

Kay didn’t want to talk much, but what he barely did was a little smiled and he moved his head forward in a positive way. Jörg breathed deeply showing relief and giving Kay his hand he said: “friends again?”

Kay looked at him and said yes with the head he stretched back his hand. Jörg looked at him and said: “Thanks, man, you know what this means to me” - and giving him a friendly slap in the back got out of the office feeling light and happy-.

*******

**Kay / Marc**

The soft touch of the lips against his eyelids woke him up. Slowly, he opened his eyes and could see Mark just a few centimeters away from his face, watching him with a mix of love and tenderness.

 ** _“Alles Gute zum Geburtstag”-_** lying on his shoulder very close to Kay, Marc looked at him with a smile on his lips.

 _“Dankeschön, Meine Liebe...”_ -Kay answered with a sleepy voice, while he woke up completely and opened his arms to bring him closer-.  With a deep voice Marc started to kiss him whispering above his mouth: “never doubt how much I love you”.

Kay smiled and nodding, he closed his eyes to enjoy that moment. Marc’s voice brought him back to reality: “Did you find your bracelet?”

“Nein…" -he answered reluctantly-, "why are you asking that now?" Kay questioned surprised.

"You must be more careful with your belongings..." was his response, while handing him a velvet box.  “Again, happy birthday my love, this is your first gift".

He took the box that Marc had given him and opened slowly. Inside, was his bracelet, so looking at him with a strange face, he asked: "What does this mean?"

Marc looked at him and smiling, whispered: "Turn it over."

Kay obeyed and when he did, he could see that in addition to the initials **M** **&** **K** , there was something new: engraved with cursive letters the word **_"forever"_** could be read.

"I thought I had lost it! How did you do this? "He asked smiling, trying to put it on.

Marc took him by the arm and carefully adjusted the bracelet. "You left it in the dressing room and when I saw it, I had the idea. That day I went to the jeweler. "

Kay looked at him and trying to seem offended, said: "And didn't tell me anything? You let me thought I had lost it? You're mean... "He said as he hugged him tightly.

"It was worth it, don't you think?"

"Thanks, Marc, it is not only amazing that I have recovered my bracelet, but what you have put on it, means a lot to me. I loved it".

Half an hour later, they got up and both went to bathe; it was one of the things that they enjoyed doing most together. The bathroom had two showers and it was big enough to house them both, so they took their time, while Marc bathed Kay and lavished him with caresses and kisses. After a good while of playing in the shower, Marc handed him a towel and took another for him, while both left there. They dressed and went down to breakfast.

Kay was taking out the ingredients to prepare some pancakes when Marc stopped him and said hugging him from behind: "Let's go out for breakfast, not every day you turn to 33 years old".

They got in Marc's BMW and left for one of their favorite restaurants: **_MilchHaeusl_** a _Biergarten_ hidden inside the English Garden, with a quiet and romantic atmosphere. When they arrived at the place, there was already a table reserved for them and Kay's favorite dish was served almost as soon as they arrived. Kay smiled; Marc surprised him with the bracelet and now with this romantic breakfast.

"Marc, danke..." he said approaching him and giving him a brief kiss on the cheek.

Marc smiled and they continued having breakfast. Almost before finishing, Marc's phone started ringing and after attending the call, he turned to Kay and said "Kay, I'm sorry ... but something has come up at work and I have to go to the Unit. I won't be late, see you later, ok?"

"Now? It's Saturday... Whatever you have to do, can't wait for Monday? "He asked a little confused.

**"I'm sorry... I won't be late. Take the car and see you at home." After saying this, he paid the bill and got up, walking away hurriedly.**

Kay sighed and giving the last sips to his coffee he got up to leave. Before leaving, the waitress who attended them approached him and, handing him a little box, said: "It's for you."

Kay looked at her strangely and before asking what it was, the woman walked away towards the kitchen. Kay resumed his seat and opened the box. Inside, it was a beautiful silk tie and a note that read: "Use it for dinner, but first you have to go to the central station - _München Hauptbahnhof_ \- to platform 32, at twelve o'clock, I'll be waiting for you there. Marc. "

Kay kept the note while laughing and caressing the softness of the fabric; it was a tie of exquisite good taste and looking at the clock, he saw that he had an hour to arrive on time. As he got up from the table to go to the car, he smiled amused by the next surprise that Marc had reserved for him.

When he arrived at the central station, he had already parked the car and was walking at a rapid pace towards the platform 32. There were ten minutes left until midday and the feeling that it caused him to see Marc waiting there, made him smile constantly. It had already been strange to him that he left him alone on his birthday to go to work...

When it reached the platform, just at 12 noon, one of the trains arrived, so the place was crowded; little by little, as people began to leave the train and walk to their different destinations, the place began to get empty and Kay tried to find among the people the love of his life. Five minutes later, when he didn't find Marc, he began to get impatient, so he took out his phone to call him when he felt that someone was taking him by the shoulder.

**When he turned around to meet Marc, he was stunned. It was not Marc who was in front of him.**

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)


	76. Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your comments and kudos, also all your feedback is very welcome. :)  
> What do you think about the pics/gifs in the chapters?

**76\. Celebration**

**Marc / Kay**

 

“What…?” –It was the only word that he was able to pronounce at the same time he felt how his legs would stop to function at any time-.

In front of him were his parents. Both of them looked much older than he remembered. It had been fifteen years since the last time he saw them.  He could see in his mind like it was yesterday when his parents rejected him because of who he was.

Like a blast, all the sad memories crowed in his mind, and dad’s words echoed once again: _“I can’t accept what you’re saying; it’s not possible you like men.  Don’t you want to have a family and have children and a wife?”_

And now, many years after, they were here; looking at him with a different perspective. It was that possible?

“Kay… my son” –his mom muttered-. And after saying this, she walked towards him.  “Kay… can you forgive us?  And without waiting for an answer, she hugged Kay with all her strength whispering all kind of loving words at the same time that she couldn’t stop sobbing.   “Your father and I are very sorry because of the way we treated you…   You disappeared and for a long time we tried to find you without success”.

**In that moment, his father continued: “Everything your mother says it’s true…  At the beginning, we didn’t know how to handle your confession, but when we realized that the most important thing was you, our son, you were gone…**

It wasn’t until Marc went to our house a couple weeks ago, and explained to us who he was, that we had hoped to be with you again…  He told us that he’s your partner and how much he loves you; he wanted to give you this surprised due to he knows how important the family is for you..."

Kay was puzzled.  He couldn’t believe that this was happening.  He began to feel touched by the words of his parents. And before to be able to say anything, mother and father hugged his son with all love they could have, and Kay felt that finally, everything was right in his life.

Kay forgot all the bad memories, all these nights he had suffered from the lack of love; none of these was important right now because they were together again, and all thanks to Marc.

As if he had invoked him, he could hear Marc’s voice behind him.  “Hallo…”   The three looked at him with a smile and Kay wimped the tears with one hand and walked towards him.   “I love you so much… thanks for this amazing gift Marc”.

Marc smiled and with his thumb took off one tear from Kay’s cheek while he whispered: “I love you too, with all my heart, happy birthday _Meine Liebe_ ”.

After this amazing emotional moment, Marc helped Kay’s parents with their luggage and all together walked towards the car.   Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at _Platzl Hotel_ , located in the center of Munich.  According to the plan, the next day, Kay will spend the day with his parents.

When they were alone inside the car, Marc turned to Kay and whispered: “I hope you feel as happy as I am; I love you Kay and I know what it means for you to have your parents with you, happy birthday my love” –he finished kissing Kay on the lips-.

Kay felt joyful, he'd never imagined, to have his parents with him was even possible.  “I can’t believe that you have made my parents be here with me after so many years…”

Marc started the engine.  “Where are we going?” –Kay asked, looking at him-.

“You’ll see…” –Marc answered as he caressed Kay’s hand with his thumb.

While they were in the car, Kay told Marc: "I'm nervous for tomorrow; it's been fifteen years that I don't talk to my parents and I don't know how to handle it... Do you think you could accompany me? "

"Are you sure? Maybe you will talk about very personal things and I'm not sure if... "

Kay interrupted him: "It doesn't matter, if my parents really want to be part of my life, now is when they have to prove it."

"Okay, if that's what you want, I'll be by your side."

It was close to three in the afternoon when Marc parked the car in front of their house.

"Let's go, they already are waiting for us"

"Who's waiting for us?" Kay asked; even though, he believed to know the answer in advance.

When they entered the house, their friends were waiting for them with a bottle of champagne to celebrate together. Among the guests, was Alexander, who had made the trip to share with Kay and Marc.

There was also Jörg, when he saw them enter, he moved in his place a little nervous, -which didn't go unnoticed by Kay-, so when he approached him, he said: "Damn! Give me a hug 'cause everything has been forgotten. "

Upon hearing it, Jörg smiled and hugged him giving him a loving pat on the back. Marc, for his part, smiled when he saw that the tension between them dissipated.

They spent the afternoon sharing with their friends, toasting and chatting. There was a karaoke, which was the meeting point of those present; and Kay happy, didn't leave the microphone for the rest of the afternoon.

Near eight o'clock at night, the last guest left.

"I'm dead ... and nervous about talking to my parents tomorrow." Kay confided to Marc as he closed the space between them and rested his head on Marc's shoulder. "Thanks, for an unforgettable birthday."

"And who said it's over? If my watch works well, there are still four hours left until the day ends... "

Kay pulled away from him, to look at him suspiciously. And what do you have in mind, if I can know?" He whispered as he began to caress him.

"Mmm ... I would love that too, but later... if you still have energy" Marc replied while laughing. "Let's go up and take a bath because we're going out ... Ah! And put on the tie that I gave you; I'm sure you'll see very well with it. "

"Are you talking seriously?"

"I have never spoken so seriously; Come on, "he replied as he took him by the hand and dragged him upstairs.

When they arrived at his room, there were two suits carefully arranged on the bed. So pushing Kay to the bathroom, Marc said: "Go, hurry up and bathe so you can change your clothes. I'll wait for you here because if we bathe together, I doubt we can leave on time. "

Kay shaking his head and laughing at the same time went into the shower. "By far, Marc had exceeded his expectations on this day; he had a lot of time that he didn't feel as happy as at that moment, "Kay acknowledged as he finished showering.

Once he got out of the bathroom, he saw Marc arrive from the guest room, bathed and with a towel around his waist; he began to dress as he hurried Kay to do the same.

"We must hurry because we have a reservation that we can't lose."

When they finished dressing, Kay approached Marc and handed him the tie that he had given him, he said: "I've never been very good with the tie... Can you help me?"

Marc looked at him and felt a tilt in his stomach to see those blue eyes that looked at him completely hypnotizing him.

Each time he saw those eyes, provoked him that sensation he loved so much. Smiling, he approached Kay and began to bind the tie. Once he finished he took two steps back and looked at him.

Kay was attractive, but dressed in that dark suit, coat, gloves and tie matching those intense eyes, he looked as if he had come out of some fashion magazine.

"Wow..." Marc murmured, nodding approving the final result. He approached Kay and giving him a soft kiss on the lips said: "I'm a lucky man for having you by my side..." he confessed without being able to avoid blushing.

Kay smiled and said: "We are ready, surprise me then"

"Not yet, something is missing..."

"What?"

"This..." And taking a box out of his coat, he handed it to Kay.

Kay smiled, as he said, "you're so unpredictable..." -saying that, opened the box and inside found a bottle of perfume L'EAU MAJEURE D'ISSEY ISSEY MIYAKE, opened it and he delighted in its aroma: a mixture of incense and sandalwood that invited the senses to awaken.

 Once Kay put the perfume on, Marc walked up to him and running his nose down the neck, inhaling the scent mixed with Kay's own essence. Smiling satisfied, he said: "Ok, now let's go."

He parked the car in the parking lot, and both got out of the car. Dressed in coat and tie, both looked more attractive, so more than one woman turned to look at them. Smiling and not caring about anything other than being together enjoying that night, they entered the place. Located on Promenadeplatz 2, there was the Atelier restaurant, an exclusive place with exquisite cuisine.

Once the table was taken and the Sommelier recommended a couple of wines, Kay looked at Marc and said: "Thank you for an unforgettable birthday, I love you".

Marc nodded and said: "I'm glad that everything went perfect, I want you to be very happy."

"If you are by my side, that's how it will be" - Kay answered smiling, while both clasped their glasses.

When the dessert was already ending, the waiter approached Marc and handed him the notebook with the account, Marc opened it and raised his eyebrows in astonishment, turned to Kay and said: "I think this is for you…" -while passing the closed notebook to Kay.

"It's not supposed that you are going to invite me because of my birthday?" He asked as he opened it to see the total amount.

When Kay realized what was inside, his face changed. He began to feel how his heart began to beat faster and faster and his mouth was drying. "What is this?" Kay asked as he watched him closely.

Marc, holding his gaze, asked: "So, what do you say?"

Inside, there was a brochure with the information to do the paternity proceedings through a surrogate mother.

Kay looked at him and quickly wiped away a tear that threatened to erupt. "Are you sure Marc?"

"Completely." It was his response, as he took his hand and looked with the certainty that their love would transcend.

 


	77. Settle Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter...  
> I'll let you know what happens with Marc & Kay in my next project: "Jörg's life..."  
> Thanks for keep reading, always is a pleasure to read all your comments :)  
> 

**77\. Settle Down**

**Kay & Marc**

Two weeks later, Kay and Marc managed to attend a photo exhibition at one of the most famous art galleries in Munich, _Dietmar Woelfl_ , as an exhibition of a friend of Jörg was presented. He had invited them and they had accepted willingly.

"Twice in a suit in less than a month ... I could get used to seeing you like this more often," Marc told Kay as he straightened his tie.

"You don't look too bad either," Kay answered while looking at him intensely.

During those two weeks, after Kay's birthday, several things had happened: Kay had had the opportunity to talk with his parents and far from living an uncomfortable situation as he feared, it was the opposite. His parents were more than willing to regain the love of his son, so they spent about a week in Munich to spend time together, so after work, Kay and Marc picked them up at the hotel and went out to dinner. When their parents left, they made them promise to visit them at their father's house.

Kay felt like he was living in a cloud, since everything went perfectly with Marc, in addition to the reunion with his parents, they had the coexistence with Matthias every fortnight and to top it off, the possibility of having a child, made him feel the happiest man in the world.

A couple of days after Marc gave him the pamphlet with the information to do the paternity proceedings through a surrogate mother, they talked about it. They would have to ask for a license for a long time since the procedure would not be in Europe because in Germany it was not allowed, even though marriage between people of the same sex had recently been legislated.

When Marc sought information, the country that facilitated the process was Canada since it was permissible for gay couples to have a child. So if they could find a woman who volunteered, they would have to travel constantly to carry out the necessary paperwork for Kay to be the donor.

Shortly before eight o'clock at night they arrived at the place, it was bursting, before entering the gallery, a photographer who was in the entrance, took a picture of them together, commenting that they could go through a copy, before leaving. Once inside, they began to go through the exhibition and a short time later they found Jörg. He greeted them warmly and introduced them to his friend, the artist, owner of the exhibition.

After a while, they sat down to chat with Jörg, while Jörg told them about his upcoming tour; he looked excited and Marc was happy for him. The relationship between Kay and Jörg, although it had improved, was far from being that of yesteryear, but Marc was sure that with the time, Kay would forget and everything would be as before.

While Marc thought about it, a woman who was on the other side of the room looked at him and started walking towards him. Marc, immersed in his thoughts, didn't notice; it was not until he felt someone touch his shoulder and call him by his name when he saw her.

"Marc! What a pleasure to meet you in Munich! "She greeted him affectionately.

Marc smiled and got up from the chair, gave her a loving hug, "Hi Helen! What are you doing here? "

"Henry had to move here, in Munich, we have been living here for six months now. Henry, this is Marc, Marc, he's Henry, my husband. "

Both men shook hands and Marc commented: "Nice to meet you, Henry, they are Kay and Jörg, Helen is a friend of Bettina. It had been a long time since we last saw each other, three years, right? "He asked Helen, while Kay and Jörg greeted the couple. After a brief talk, Helen said goodbye to Marc and kissed him, saying: "Greet me Bettina, Marc." - With a nod, she said goodbye to Kay and Jörg, and, taking her husband by the arm, moved away from the place.

Marc felt a little uncomfortable because of Bettina's reference, "it was clear that Helen didn't know they had separated, but now was not the time to get her out of her mistake..." Marc thought as he sat down next to Kay.

After a few minutes, Marc noticed that Kay was quieter than usual, so turning to him, he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Perfectly..." -he answered-.

Marc nodded and chatted pleasantly, but as the hours passed, he sensed that something wasn't right with Kay since he had hardly spoken the rest of the evening; he looked tense and thoughtful.

After an hour, Marc whispered to Kay in his ear: "I'm tired, are we going home?"

Kay nodded as he stood up and said goodbye to the group they had been talking to for the last hour.

They were leaving the gallery when the photographer approached and handed them a copy of the photo that had taken them arriving. Marc received it and smiled when he saw it. When they got into the car, before turning on the engine, he handed the photo to Kay, but Kay didn't comment anything, instead, he opened the glove box and put it away.

It was clear that Kay was upset, but as much as Marc tried to remember what he had done wrong, nothing came to his mind. "Was it because he had been talking to Jörg?" He asked as he parked the car in the garage.

Once in the room, after brushing his teeth and changing his clothes, Marc leaned back next to Kay, who was already lying on his side, with his back to Marc -, he put his arm over Kay to attract him towards him.  And then, he whispered in his ear: "Kay, what's wrong? Why are you mad? Did I do something to you?"

Kay did not respond.

Marc affectionately tugged on his shoulder so that he could see his eyes. Kay looked at him but said nothing, so Marc insisted: "Come on, tell me what's wrong with you..."

Kay closed his eyes, to open them seconds later and in a very low tone, he asked: "Why don't you introduce me as your boyfriend, Marc?"

Marc was surprised... He thought it was something related to Jörg, but he never expected something like that, so he didn't know what to answer; Kay insisted: "Do you care what people think of you? Or is it that you can only show me your love inside these four walls or inside a gay bar, but not anywhere else? Will you still not admit your feelings to the rest of the people? "

Marc felt his pulse quicken as he listened to Kay, so cradling his face in his hands, he whispered, "Kay, I'm sorry. It has never been my intention to make you feel bad... Today more than ever, I know how much I love you and I am not ashamed to admit it to anyone. "

And he continued: "If I didn't say anything to Helen it was because I didn't think it was important for you, I just didn't think it was necessary to get her out of her mistake."

Kay heard him and shifted from his arms. He got up from the bed, looked at him. "What I think is that if we're together and we've even thought about having a child, I don't see why we don't present ourselves as a couple... I'm not forcing you to anything; I just share how I felt."

Marc got up from the bed and approaching Kay said: "Forgive me please, I promise you will never happen again."

Kay looked at him and nodded. Marc hugged him and placed a soft kiss on his temple. That night, while Kay was sleeping, Marc watched him as he thought about his words. "How could he have been so careless?" He reproached himself once more.

A couple of weeks later, when they left the Unit, Marc said to Kay: "What do you think, if we have dinner out tonight?"

"And what is that for? It's Thursday and tomorrow I have a meeting early in the morning; I'm tired, don't you think we can leave it for tomorrow, Marc? "Kay answered with a questioning look.

"Come on, I don't feel like having dinner at home... I promise you we won't be there for a long time" -Insisted-.

Kay smiled, nodding: "You know I can’t say no..."

Marc smiled satisfied, as he took the exit to Starnberg. "Perfect, let's go to the house to change our clothes."

An hour later, they arrived at _Broeding_ , one of Kay's favorite restaurants. When he parked, Kay asked him: "Here? Can you tell me, what are we celebrating? "

"Nothing special… What? Can't I spoil you?" Marc smiled as he got out of the car.

Kay smiled and together entered the place. They enjoyed a delicious dinner and an exquisite wine.

"Do you want a dessert?" Kay asked.

"Yes..."

"What do you crave?"

"You choose it... and we share it, do you agree?"

"Ok..." Kay answered as he looked at the menu.

Immersed in it, he didn't notice that Marc pulled a black box from his jacket and placed it in front of him. When Kay left the menu to call the waiter, he saw it.

"What is this?" He asked, feeling his pulse quicken.

"Open it..." -It was Marc's response.

With trembling hands, he opened the box and two alliances rested on the soft velvet. Kay couldn't take off the view from them.

Marc, nervous, stirred in the seat. "Well, what do you say? Do you want to marry me, Kay? "

Kay looked at him, with those eyes that drove him crazy. "Nothing would make me happier".

At that moment, Marc smiled and without caring at all the people, who looked at them without any qualms, took one of the alliances and showed it to him. "My name is engraved inside" and taking it by the hand, he introduced it to the ring finger.

Kay began to laugh and taking the alliance that rested lonely inside the box, looked at it and could read his name inside. With trembling hands, he took Marc's hand and placed it on his ring finger.

Marc closed the space between them and kissed him. "Ich Liebe Dich... never doubt it" "Now, anyone who sees us will know that we are a couple if there was any doubt about it" - Marc said as he linked his hand with Kay's and both admired how the rings shone together-.

"Now what follows is to choose a date, "pussy", but consider that we will travel to Canada in a month ..." Marc announced without being able to hide the emotion in his voice. Soon, they would have another child beside Matthias, and Kay would be the biological father...

Back home, Kay was driving the car; one hand was on the wheel and the other rested on Marc's hand. With his thumb, he stroked the ring while imagining what his wedding would be like. For his part, Marc smiled, imagining a beautiful baby with blue eyes like Kay's.

Neither spoke, it was not necessary to say anything else. That comfortable silence between them replaced any words... A knowing glance was enough to express what could not be said with words.

Breathing evenly, both were certain that their love was sublime.


End file.
